Starvation Diary #2
Summary: Sanji's worst nightmare comes true, but this time the Straw Hats won't let their nakama bear it alone. Sanji/Everyone nakamaship. Sanji's POV. Set post-Impel Down, in the New World.
Warnings: Sanji's swearing. Long chapter.
Spoilers: This takes place post-Impel Down, so may contain spoilers for Thriller Bark/Sabaody Archipelago/Impel Down arcs eventually.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, etc.
Chapter 9: Day Fourteen
Should I get up? Shouldn't I get up? Ah, fuck it, I haven't had a wink of sleep the whole night, what makes me think I'm suddenly going to get any now?
Besides, I really need a cigarette.
I get up and pull on my clothes quickly. It was warm when we went to sleep, but the floor is chilly to my bare feet. Another freaking weather change. I may not be a genius navigator like Nami-san, but even I know that we're nowhere near an island.
That makes the decision I made last night all the more urgent.
I walk over to the closet and pull out an extra scarf. Behind me, Chopper snuffles in his sleep and I freeze, thinking I may have awoken him. When his high-pitched snores resume, I relax and wrap the scarf around my neck. I take a last glance around the room at my sleeping nakama and head outside with a sigh.
Almost immediately after I close the door, a voice hails me from the crow's nest.
"Oh, Sanji! You're up early!" Glancing at the sun just peeking over the horizon, I reckon it's about half an hour before my usual watch.
"Yeah, couldn't sleep," I reply briefly, lighting my first cigarette of the day and inhaling gratefully.
I scan the horizon briefly, but I can't see a thing. You can't expect miracles, Sanji, I scold myself. I'll just have to accept my fate.
Usopp slides down the mast and joins me on the deck. "Brook's lullabies didn't work?" he wisecracks. And then he sees my face and he gives a double-take. "Um...sorry, bad joke."
"What?" Usopp's jokes are mostly bad, but he doesn't usually apologise for them.
"You...look...pretty...um...pretty good today!" Usopp says, giving me a thumbs-up.
"Liar," I retort, heading into the galley to start breakfast. If even Usopp thinks I look like shit, I must really look bad. I could use the base of a frying pan as a mirror, but I don't think I care to. If I look anywhere near as bad as I feel, I probably look worse than my bounty poster.
"So, um..." Usopp begins, following me in.
"What? D'you want a cup of hot chocolate or something?" I ask.
"Er, no...I had a question actually."
I tense a little. "Okay."
"Are you going to tell him?"
"Tell who what?" I ask, though I think I already know the answer.
"Tell Luffy...about the food situation."
"Yeah, I guess so," I say reluctantly. I decided last night. Now that we know how long it might be, there's no point concealing it any longer. Any hope we had left is now gone. Any hope I had left of remaining on this crew is now gone.
"Okay," Usopp says, in obvious relief. "I was just wondering if it was a secret, that's all. Um...I just wanted to let you know, if you needed someone to talk to, Captain Usopp's here with a listening ear!"
"Oh?" I raise my eyebrow. Coming from the biggest talker on the crew, that's quite an offer. For a moment I consider taking it. If anyone can understand how I'm feeling right now, it would be Usopp. But there's really nothing to say. I don't need to ask "how does it feel to have to leave the crew?" because I know it for myself. It feels like the end of the world.
"Thanks, Usopp, but I don't..." But Usopp isn't even facing me anymore. His nose is pressed up against the porthole and he's staring out intently.
"Oi, for someone who's just offered a listening ear, you're really unreliable," I say, but he instead of replying he beckons to me.
"Is that what I think it is?"
An irrational hope rises within me, and I rush over to the porthole. Our faces squish up against each other as we both try to peer through the tiny window. But with a rush of disappointment I realise that I'm still seeing precisely nothing.
"What is it I'm supposed to be seeing? If this is another of your lies, Usopp..."
"No, really, look! Over there! Ah, can't you see it? Here, take my goggles!"
I take his goggles and try to adjust them. "Oh! A speck!"
"Not just any speck, a ship! A Marine ship!"
"You can see that?" It's just a blur to me. But I know Usopp wouldn't lie about such a thing, at such a time. And he does have the best eyesight of us all. "Usopp, you're a miracle-worker!" I'm so happy I could almost kiss - no, I'm nowhere near that happy. "Quick, wake the others, and tell them to come up and have some breakfast."
Usopp nods eagerly and he rushes over to hammer at the ladies' door, yelling, "The Marines are coming! The Marines are coming!" Then he dashes into the men's quarters and does the same. I hear the stumble of bare feet, the swearing when they realise just how cold it really is, and Nami-san's clear voice giving steering instructions.
In a few minutes, the Sunny's on course to intercept the Marine ship, and the crew minus Zoro is assembled at the table for breakfast, with Franky and Brook sitting at the bar chugging a bottle of cola and sipping a cup of tea respectively. Though some of them still look bleary-eyed with sleep, everyone's grinning like anything. They all know this Marine ship is the only thing between us and three months of starvation. Well, all of them except Luffy, and for him the excitement of getting to attack a Marine ship - or just the fact that it's breakfast time - is enough to get him grinning.
And I know that my grin is the biggest of them all as I lean back against the counter and watch as they gobble down their rations and hurry out to prepare for the battle. Except for a certain bottomless pit of a captain whose idea of battle preparation consists of only one thing -
"Sanji! MEAT!"
I sigh. "Luffy, we just ate breakfast!"
"But you need a pirate bento before attacking Marine ships! It's part of being a pirate!"
I suppose since we'll be getting food soon, I can take a gamble...but then I decide against it. Yesterday's experience has taught me that we can't take anything for granted until the food's going down their throats.
"Look, Luffy, you can have all the meat you want on the Marine ship, okay?" I try to reason with him.
"But I can't fight without food," Luffy pouts.
"Like I said, you just ate!" I scold, but I'm already racking my brains for what I can spare from my larder. I don't want to take any chances with Luffy, for whom the distance between sheer exhaustion and battle readiness is about one sea king steak.
Finally I come up with something. It's completely ridiculous, but it's the only thing I can offer. I don't even know whether we still qualify as pirates after this, but...
"What about cotton candy?"
"Cotton candy's not pirate bento," Luffy says suspiciously, though his eyes brighten at the suggestion of more food.
"It's pirate cotton candy, so it's okay," I invent quickly.
"Oh! Well, if it's pirate cotton candy, then it works! Yay! Cotton candy!" Phew. Crisis averted. I'm getting as good - or as bad - as Usopp.
"Can I turn the crank? Can I? Can I? Chopper showed me how before!"
"Okay, Luffy, just so long as you turn it slowly. Got it? No Gomu Gomu no Windmill or anything like that."
Luffy churns out eight sticks under my guidance, laughing all the while, and it scares me to think how close I came to taking that smile away from his face. And then he's eagerly calling out to the others to come eat their pirate cotton candy and though they look bemused as they claim their share, no one dims our captain's enthusiasm by asking exactly what qualifies fluffy white sugar as pirate fare. Well, it's not like we were ever ordinary pirates, anyway, with a captain like Luffy.
By the time he bounces away on a sugar-fuelled high, I'm left with one stick, and I know who it belongs to. I find him standing on deck, sizing up the Marine ship, which is getting pretty close now.
"Oi, marimo." I hold out the cotton candy.
Zoro turns a baleful look on me. "That better be a joke, shit cook."
"You need your strength," I insist, even though I know it's a losing battle.
"Give it to Chopper or Luffy. I don't like sweet food, you know that." He takes out his swords and inspects them before returning them to their sheaths, then takes the scrap of dark green cloth from around his arm and ties it around his head.
That scares me a little. Zoro never wears his bandanna unless he's getting serious. And for him to get serious against a small ship like that...
"Oi, marimo...don't just keel over and die, okay?" I say hesitantly.
"Tch. I'm not the one who looks like a walking skeleton," Zoro retorts.
For a moment I think he's referring to Brook, but then I realise he means me.
"Huh. Doesn't matter what I look like, I'm still gonna take down more Marines than you," I scoff.
"Yeah, right. You'd better be alive to see how badly I've beaten you at the end of this," Zoro grunts.
We look out at the Marine ship. We're gaining on them fast. I can see the whites of their lookout's eyes, and the frantic preparations they're making for our arrival. The others gather on deck, ready for battle.
"Oi, Luffy! Here - there was a spare stick."
"Oh! Thanks, Sanji!" Luffy bounds over and licks it up eagerly.
"They're readying their cannons," Robin-chan observes.
Zoro draws his swords with a grin that foretells death and destruction for the enemy.
"Bring 'em on," he growls. I grip my cigarette a touch harder. We take a step forward. And then a sticky hand wraps around my waist.
"Luffy, no!"
"Let's go!" a cheerful voice announces, and a moment later I'm flying through the air.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ow!"
We crash-land among a horde of gaping Marines. I leap to my feet, rubbing my back. I don't think I'll ever get used to Luffy's catapults. I glance over at the marimo and I see that he's already on his feet with two Marines down. I'd better get myself caught up fast.
And as a man in a white tunic scrambles up from below deck to join the fray, a knife in each hand, I know I've found my first opponent.
"Man, that was boring," Zoro pants just minutes later, returning his katana to their sheaths.
"Yeah, weaklings," I gasp, trying to keep my legs from giving out under me. Though it was short, the fight took more out of me than I expected, and I suspect the same's true for the marimo. "I thought there would be more of them, given the size of this ship." Though I'm privately glad there weren't.
"Thought they would be stronger since they're stationed in the New World," Zoro huffs.
I nod in agreement. "So how many did you get?"
"Eleven," he says.
"Damn! I got the same." Now I wish there'd been more. I look around and see that the cook's still moving. "Does it count if I get that one again?"
"No, it just means you only got ten," Zoro smirks.
"Fuck you, marimo bastard," I murmur. I consider going over and giving the twitching cook a finishing kick, but he doesn't really look like he's going anywhere.
I look up and see the ladies - who are thankfully unscathed - disappearing into the bridge, probably to see what treasure they can find. Franky, Usopp and Brook seem intensely interested in one of the cannons, maybe a new design, and I can see Chopper going down the steps, probably in search of the medical bay to see if whether they have any interesting medicines.
"Where's Luffy?" I ask. Last I saw, he was still in his shrunken form from using Gear Third against the only interesting fighter on the ship, their Devil's Fruit user of a captain.
"Dunno, but it's quiet, so he can't be getting into any mischief," Zoro sighs.
The thought strikes us both simultaneously and we look at each other in horror. If Luffy's quiet, that just means he is up to some mischief.
"Shit, the food!" I gasp, and I sprint for the galley, Zoro close on my heels.
The sight that greets us makes my heart lurch. "LUFFY!"
"Oh, hi Sanji! This is great turkey!" Luffy says through a full mouth. And I know that's no Gomu Gomu no Balloon. Gomu Gomu no Turkey Balloon, maybe.
I cross over to the fridge and survey the unmistakable signs of a Luffy raid.
There's no room for gloom in my head right now, just pure rage. I grab Luffy by his rubber neck and proceed to wring it.
"Dammit, Luffy! Didn't anyone ever teach you to share?"
"But - you - said - I - could - eat - all - the - meat - I - wan - ted!" Luffy gasps out, his head bouncing back and forth.
"I didn't mean it that way, you fucking idiot!" I practically scream.
And then I feel thin arms pulling at my wrists. "Sanji, stop! You don't want to do this! He didn't know!"
Usopp's voice, and the horrified looks on the Franky and Brook's faces - they must have followed the noise to the galley - pull me back to my senses, and I release my hold on Luffy. And when my eyes meet Zoro's shadowed glare, I realise how close to the brink I came. Leaving the crew, or making a mistake with food supplies, he would be okay with. But if I leave the crew by quarrelling with our captain, he'll never forgive me.
And then there's Luffy's innocent, wide-open eyes, astonished at my anger. Usopp's right. Luffy didn't know - I didn't tell him. All to preserve his innocence - and by choosing to do that, I may have condemned us all.
"I'm sorry, captain," I choke out.
Just as Luffy opens his mouth to respond, we hear a strangled shriek come from behind us. "My turkey! And my FRIDGE!"
"Oh, ossan! Your turkey was really good!" Luffy pats his stomach contentedly.
The Marine cook turns a look of incredulous despair on Luffy, and I can actually see the tears in his eyes. "First the Pinkbeard Pirates, then Empty Blue, and now you! Why won't you pirates leave my kitchen alone?" he wails.
"Pinkbeard Pirates?"
"They attacked us two weeks ago and they only left us enough food for two weeks. And then when we tried to catch fish, we found we couldn't, because we were in Empty Blue. And now...my men were on tight rations already, and now they'll have to starve!"
His forlorn look so exactly mirrors how I feel inside, I feel like bawling with him.
Instead I ask, desperately: "Didn't you leave anything, Luffy?"
"There's still some boring veggies and fruits over there," Luffy points, and both the Marine cook and I brighten up and we dash for the larder. Though it still looks like a whirlwind's careened through the place, there are still supplies, and I feel perversely rewarded for all the times I've had to kick Luffy to eat his vegetables. Even if we split this...I can make this last three months.
"How long do you have to sail?" I ask.
"Four weeks."
"It looks like their mission was to investigate the abandoned village we were at, so four weeks is likely," Nami-san's voice confirms, and when I turn I see that she and Robin-chan have entered the galley, and that she has a thick book in her hands - probably the master log for this ship.
I turn on the bastard cook, pissed at him for scaring me with his overreaction. "Four weeks times fifty men...even this is more than enough," I gesture. "Hell, even if none of you eat for four weeks you should still be able to pull through."
"Fifty men? We have a hundred men on this ship! Half of them are in the infirmary, recovering from the pirates' attack!" the cook says, his voice shaking with fury.
His words hit me like a peg-leg to the head. No! This can't be...after we managed to miraculously find a ship...
"He's right, Sanji!" a little voice cries, and I look down and see Chopper's wearing that frantic look he always has when he realises one of us is hurt or sick. "Some of them are really ill! If they don't get food, they'll die, especially with all the weather changes we've been having lately!"
I feel like I've been hit by every Negative Ghost in the world.
"Ahhhhhhh!" We all turn to Luffy. "Is it my fault? I'm sorry!"
"Words of apology can't fill stomachs!" the cook bristles. "We'll barely make it as it is! And if you dare to take any more food from here, I'll...I'll fight you!"
We all know it to be a laughable threat. Three kicks were all I needed to knock him down, and one of Luffy's full-strength punches would probably keep him from cooking for the rest of his life. But we can't laugh when he points his knives at us with shaking hands, despite knowing how hopelessly outmatched and outclassed he is. We understand his motivations too well.
"You know, we could just turn around and follow their Log Pose to the island," Nami-san suggests, though she sounds reluctant, and I can't say I'm a big fan of the idea either. Not only would we have the Marines for company - unless we deprive them of their Pose, which would be even more cruel than just taking their food - but we already know how hard it is to preserve food from that island, and we'd still have to make this trip all over again.
"What about where they came from?" Zoro asks.
"Looks like they sailed from their base about six weeks ago." It's less than three months, but...I don't think any of us fancies paying a visit to a Marine base after weeks of starvation.
"It's not where we're headed, is it, Nami-san?" I ask.
Nami-san takes an Eternal Pose from her pocket and checks its heading against the Log Pose on her wrist. "The bearing's different. Not too far off, but definitely not the same place."
My head's beginning to ache as much as my stomach. Three choices, all bad. Four, if you include taking their food - and it's equally bad. I can't see any solution to this. Either they die, or we die.
"I don't get it," Luffy says, looking and sounding puzzled. "Why're we talking about going back?"
I gulp. It's time to confess, once and for all. "Luffy...we're running out of food. If we go forward, we'll probably not get more food for another two and a half months. But we've only twelve days of food left, and even that's only with Zoro, Franky, Brook and me not eating, and with Nami-san, Robin-chan, Usopp and Chopper on half-rations." My statement draws a gasp from the cook, as he realises that we're in as dire straits as them.
"Aaaaaaah! Really?" Understanding finally dawns in Luffy's eyes. "So that's why Zoro's not been eating?"
I mentally smack my forehead at the idiocy of my captain.
"Honestly, Luffy, didn't you suspect something was wrong? Zoro hasn't eaten for like eleven days!" Nami-san scolds.
"But Zoro's good at starving," Luffy says innocently. What the fuck is that supposed to mean, "good" at starving? If anyone's "good" at starving here, surely it should be me.
Luffy's eyes swivel round to me. "Ah!" he points a finger at me.
My heart thumps. Is that supposed to be an accusatory finger or what?
"Sanji, you look really skinny!"
Everyone looks blankly at Luffy for two seconds. "O-SOI!"
"Luffy, could you possibly be any slower?" Usopp groans, conveniently forgetting the fact that he and Franky and Brook only noticed yesterday.
"We have to make a decision," Zoro cuts in impatiently. "If we take their food, we'll be fine, but some of them will die. If we don't take their food, we still have two and a half months till we get out of Dead Blue, unless we happen to come across another ship or island before then, so some of us may die. Captain?"
"Hrmmmm." I can practically hear the cogs creaking in Luffy's head as he ponders the decision, and I curse myself for forcing him to make it.
Even I don't know what to think. Half of me recoils at the idea of starving these men, already injured, to death. The other half is mentally begging Luffy to please just take the food, put the lot of them out of their misery if we must, they're Marines after all, and if you want to be Pirate King, you've got to be a lot more ruthless sometimes, a bit more like - like Don Krieg, for example -
And then I know what Luffy's going to decide, because there's not an ounce of Don Krieg in him, and I'm glad of that. Because if there's one thing good about sailing under Luffy, it's that I know I'll never have to choose between my captain's orders and my conscience, like Gin had to.
"We'll go forward," Luffy says, in that rare serious voice of his, his eyes fixed on me without a hint of a smile.
I exhale, and give a nod.
"Huh? So we're not taking the food?" Usopp's jaw drops.
Luffy gestures at the cook. "We're stronger than these guys, so let them have the food. We'll make it."
"But Luffy..."
"You heard the captain," Zoro interposes. "If you want to discuss it further, do it on the Sunny."
Zoro looks grim enough and fierce enough that the others make no further objection.
"This is a recipe for medicine that'll keep your men's health up, even if they're not eating," Chopper volunteers, pressing a script into the cook's hands. "If you have a ship's doctor, he should know what to do with it."
The cook's so astounded that he can't even stammer out his thanks. Chopper turns and looks at me anxiously, then follows the others out.
I turn to trudge after him, but first I have to ask. "Have you heard of All Blue?"
"Yes, of course. All Blue, where fish from all four Blues swim."
At least he isn't laughing.
"Where is it?" I press. Maybe being a cook in the New World, he'll know about it...
"It's...just a myth, isn't it? I've never seen it myself," the cook stammers.
Even back on that rock, I don't think I ever felt so lost.
I can't go on with the crew any longer, and All Blue no longer beckons. Maybe I should just give myself up here and now, Nami-san would appreciate having 77 million beli - but if this ship was attacked by the Pinkbeard Pirates, they would've taken the money already.
So I can't even be of use in that way. I really have nowhere to go.
And then I see it. The Eternal Pose, lying innocently on a counter next to the log book, pointing towards food. Giving me a direction.
"Cook-bro! You coming?" Franky's voice calls from down the hallway.
Maybe...maybe there's still something I can do. I slip the Pose into my pocket, and head out.
"Good luck," the cook calls. "And thank you."
"Don't thank me, thank my captain," I say automatically. It hurts all the more to be proud of my captain, when I know that he won't be my captain for long. "Oh, and - watch the fruit from that island. It goes bad real easy."
The Sunny is unusually quiet when we return from our unsuccessful raid. Everyone feels the uneasy atmosphere, and there's not a shout or joke or song to be heard among the usually rambunctious crew. I know that my leaving won't help that at all, but maybe...if I take the Waver and go to the Marine base and manage to bring back food, they can smile again. Who knows, once I'm gone, maybe the run of bad luck will end and they'll get out of Dead Blue and they'll have food again. Either way...they're better off not having me here.
I take a deep breath and march up to Luffy. He already looks normal again, and I can't decide whether to be pissed at his absurd metabolism, or glad that his bulging stomach isn't going to rile me up again.
"Luffy...no, Captain..."
"Sanji..."
We launch into our questions simultaneously.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm leaving the crew."
I stare at Luffy blankly - that infernal question again? But Luffy looks back at me with that serious gaze, and I realise he's waiting for me to speak.
"Did you even hear what I said?"
"I asked you a question," Luffy says calmly.
And I snap. "What's the matter with you? With all of you? Don't you realise what I've done? Because of me..." I swallow hard before continuing, trying to keep my voice from cracking. "Because of me, you guys might die. Because of me, you might never reach your dreams. Nami-san won't be able to map the world. Robin-chan won't be able to find the True History. Brook won't meet Laboon, Chopper won't find the panacea he's looking for, Usopp won't be the bravest warrior on the sea, Zoro won't be the greatest swordsman in the world, Franky won't be able to sail the ship he made for the Pirate King, because you won't become the Pirate King! All because of my carelessness!"
"Sanji, nothing you can do will stop me being Pirate King," Luffy says quietly.
"Even then! The Pirate King deserves a cook who'll keep his crew fed and healthy! What kind of cook am I? What kind of a cook lets his crew starve?" I say bitterly.
Luffy pushes up his hat and looks at me evenly. "Is that why you quit?"
I nod, not trusting myself to speak.
"Okay, then. You can quit."
The crushing sense of loneliness is tempered only by a sense of purpose. My hand steals to my pocket and I feel the reassuring heft of the Eternal Pose. I'll bring back some food for them, or die trying.
While everyone's standing there slack-jawed at Luffy's statement, Luffy continues:
"In that case, I quit too."
The others find their voices, and we chorus an incredulous "WHAT?"
Luffy shrugs. "What kind of captain doesn't even notice when his nakama are starving?" he asks, throwing my question back in my face.
"Now, wait a minute, Luffy, like you said, it's my fault for not telling -" I begin, but Nami-san interrupts and I fall silent.
"I quit too. After all, what kind of navigator takes her ship through a dead sea?"
"The fault is equally mine," Robin-chan interposes. "I knew about Empty Blue but failed to connect the stories to our lack of success at fishing."
"I guess that means we both quit," Nami-san says with an impish grin that I totally don't understand.
"But...how could you know Dead Blue was here?" I stammer, but my objection is overridden by the sound of Franky's bawling.
"What kind of shipwright doesn't build enough storage capacity for his nakama's appetites?" he weeps. "And this was supposed to be that ship that carries you across a thousand seas!"
"Storage capacity had nothing to do with it!"
"What kind of dead man eats the food that could save his nakama's lives?" Brook asks melodramatically.
"I told you yesterday, Brook, you have as much a right to eat as anyone!" I say despairingly. This can't be happening - if our crew breaks up because of me, that's one more thing I'll never forgive myself for.
"Remember, I rushed you guys away from that abandoned village!" Chopper cries.
"And I helped pack the fruit back on that island. Maybe I messed up!" Usopp offers.
Their heads swivel round to Zoro, who raises an eyebrow. "Does this mean I can redraw the flag now?"
"NO, IT DOESN'T!" they all yell.
"Fine, I quit too. Without you guys, I have no reason to be a pirate," Zoro shrugs.
"You're supposed to say something about how it's your fault, you jerk!" Usopp hisses.
"But I didn't do anything - ow, Chopper, quit biting my leg!"
Luffy grins wryly. "Well, that's the end of the Strawhat Pirates."
"No! I won't let you do this!" I say frantically.
"But Sanji, it was our fault too. If you have to quit because you made a mistake, then we have to, too. It's only fair," Luffy reasons, the seriousness returning to his voice.
"But I don't want you guys to break up," I mutter.
"You started it when you quit," Luffy says. "The Strawhats aren't the Strawhats without Sanji."
A chorus of assent runs around the deck, and my heart aches for them, for these idiots who were once my nakama.
Luffy's grin splits his face once more. "Well! I'm forming a new pirate crew. You guys wanna join?"
"AYE!" the others shout, and how I wish I could shout it out with them.
Luffy turns to me and holds out a hand. "We still have an opening for a cook. Wanna join?"
"You don't understand!" I yell. "I can't be a cook without any food to cook. I'm useless!"
Luffy cocks his head to a side. "Is that so? That's okay! In that case, you can be the archaeologist!"
"HUH?" Everyone's truly befuddled now.
"Robin can be the sniper, Usopp can be the doctor, Nami can be the cook, Zoro can be the navigator, Franky can be the musician and Brook can be the shipwright!"
"Wait, what about me?" Chopper says, sounding pissed off. "What am I, then? Just the pet?"
"That's okay, Chopper, you can be the doctor. I know nothing about medicine," Usopp says.
"And you can still be the sniper, Longnose-kun. You would fill the role much better," Robin-chan adds.
"I don't know anything about archaeology..." I murmur, my head still reeling from the craziness of the situation.
"I would be glad to take the post of archaeologist, Sanji-san."
"I've a couple changes to make, too," Nami-san says. "First of all, please can Franky and Brook switch? I don't know if the Sunny can stand up to Brook's ministrations, or if we can stand Franky playing his guitar all day long."
"That's okay, Nami-sis!" Franky says good-humouredly. "I built the Thousand Sunny, so I'm its shipwright, that won't ever change!"
"And I am a musician through and through! Yo ho ho ho!" Brook chortles.
"And for another thing, we are not letting Zoro navigate," Nami-san continues.
"So what does that make me, the cook?" Zoro says, looking just as bewildered as I feel. "Well, I guess I can manage porridge..."
"No way am I gonna let you mess up my galley, marimo!" I flare. And then I realise what I've just said.
Luffy laughs long and loud. "If it's your galley, I guess that means you're our cook again, Sanji!"
"But I can only be your cook twelve more days," I try to explain. Why is it so hard for him to grasp this simple concept?
"You can always be the ship's pet along with Zoro," Usopp sniggers, before ducking behind Franky as the marimo turns an evil eye on him.
But apparently Zoro concedes the point, because he says, "You've always called me useless because I don't have a specific job on this ship like all you guys do. Does that mean I should leave the crew too?"
"No, but...I was brought on board to be your cook. If I can't do that, I lose my sole purpose for being on this ship!"
Luffy scratches his head. "How should I explain this..." he muses, as if I'm the idiot here. "I asked you to be our cook, but it wasn't because you were a cook. It was because you're a good guy."
I guess I must still look bewildered, because Luffy sighs, and changes the subject. "Sanji...if you wanted to hire a cook, what would you do?"
"Get them to make a couple of dishes for me to taste, I guess," I reply. "But what...?"
"If all I wanted was a cook, I'd have tasted your food first. But I didn't, because what I wanted was a nakama who happened to be a cook. And I just knew you were a good guy, that's why I asked you to become my nakama."
I cast my mind back to when Luffy first asked me to join his crew. He asked me so many times they're all jumbled in my mind, but I finally work it out. It was when I gave Gin that plate of fried rice. Before Luffy'd tasted my cooking. Before he'd even seen how strong I was. Just because of that one small gesture.
Realisation dawns.
"You're my nakama, Sanji," Luffy grins. "And if you ever try to leave this crew again, I'll kick your ass."
I have to bite my lip to keep myself from blubbering, but I nod. "Aye, captain."
The rest of the crew erupts in cheers, and amidst the cheering Luffy sticks out a hand and says, "Give."
Somehow I know exactly what Luffy wants, though I've no idea how he found out. I take out the Eternal Pose and hand it over, feeling a bit like when the shit geezer confiscated the spices I stole to experiment with in my recipes.
"We won't be needing this." Luffy winds up his arm with a Gomu Gomu no Pistol and shoots it over towards the receding Marine ship, depositing it on their deck.
But that could be the thing that saves our lives! I want to scream, but whether we go to the Marine base or not is my captain's decision, not mine, and I'll follow him wherever he goes.
Luffy glances at my face and says matter-of-factly, "Don't worry about the food, Sanji. I have good luck. We won't starve. No one's gonna die. We're strong, after all."
And even though I know he has absolutely no basis for making that statement, I know I can trust him to make it come true, because he's Luffy, the man who will become Pirate King.
He's systematically dismantled my neuroses, one by one, leaving me completely defenceless. And in their wake, different emotions come flooding in - gratitude, and a kind of pride.
To my horror, I feel my lower lip start to tremble so hard biting doesn't help. Tears prick at my eyes. I turn and run for the sanctuary of the galley. I don't want them to see me like this, blubbering like - well, like Franky.
I bolt the door behind me and sink down on the floor, drawing my knees up and sobbing into my hands. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve them.
Two minutes pass.
Then I feel a pat on my ankle and I start. A disembodied but nonetheless lovely hand waves a tea towel at me. I can't help but smile. "Thank you, Robin-chan," I whisper, and take it. The hand gives me an uncharacteristic thumbs-up and dissolves into petals.
Then I hear a thump against the galley door. "SANJIIIIIIIII! We've gotta kanpai to celebrate our new crew!"
Hopeless idiots. "Go away, I have to prepare lunch!" I shout back, hoping no one can hear the hoarseness in my voice.
Instead, I hear more thumps, each one louder than the last. If those bastards aren't careful...
The door crashes in, followed a second later by a pile of what looks like Usopp, Chopper, Brook and Franky, all wrapped up in a tangle of Luffy's rubber limbs. I gape at them for a moment, until the marimo steps in over them and kicks the lot of them out.
Damn. Of all the people on this ship, he's the one I least want to see right now. I try desperately to wipe away my tears.
Too late. He's already stalking over to me, a condescending smirk on his face. "Tch. Crying, cook? What a pansy."
My tears drain away in the heat of my anger. I jump to my feet and retort, "As if we've never seen you cry before."
I can see it in my mind's eye - a trembling sword, and a trembling voice, swearing: "From now on, I won't lose ever again! Until I defeat that man and become the greatest swordsman in the world, I won't lose again! Got a problem with that, PIRATE KING?"
The bearer of that voice scowls in my face. "That was different!" he says defensively.
"No, it's not," I say, equally defensively.
Zoro looks at me for one long, considering moment. Then he says quietly, "Yeah, it's not."
A strong, callused hand grabs me by the shoulder and pushes me towards the door.
"No, wait - I'm not ready!" I say frantically.
"They are," Zoro says, a sardonic tone in his voice, and I'm steered outside, where I come face to face with the crew, now disentangled and on their feet.
They're smiling. Grinning. Laughing. There's no disgust, no pity, no blame in their eyes. Just...acceptance.
All the tension of the past two weeks drains away, and I'm left with a warm, fuzzy feeling of belonging.
I sniff and wipe my face with a sleeve, hoping I don't look too pathetic in front of the ladies.
They continue smiling at me, clearly expecting me to say something.
I could say thank you, but I know they don't want thanks.
I could swear to cook for them till we reach Raftel, but that's not my kind of line.
They're accepting me as me, not as their cook. So the best thing I can do for them is to show that I'm back to my usual debonair self.
I light a cigarette, and take a deep breath.
"So, which one of you shitheads BROKE THE FUCKING DOOR?"
Acknowledgments: A special thank-you to ColourPearl, whose comment a couple chapters ago inspired the almost-sacrificial!Sanji wanting to storm the Marine base himself bit. Alas, I didn't have the heart/guts to actually let him do it...
