Chapter 9: Sympathy for the Asylum

The Doctor said it was too dangerous. The creature didn't so much mind dying as parting with the last version of a friend who was still a friend. Dean didn't care any less, but he couldn't leave Cas behind and he couldn't give up the hunting life. He needed to go home.

Dean found the creature sitting on a stone bench in the mental ward's garden. With out a doubt the creature had a hand in the upkeep of the plants' beauty. Each plant was carefully trimmed in a way that accented the greenery's unique characteristics and kept the garden as a whole in harmony. Attention to detail had been the key, but managing a garden was one thing. Overseeing the health and structure of entire worlds was another matter entirely. Was it right to treat worlds like rose bushes that needed to be shaped and cut or was it better to let them grow wild and multiply?

"So," Dean said as he sat down.

"A needle pulling thread?" The creature replied.

"What? No! I was-"

The creature cut in, "I know what you meant."

An awkward silence ensued.

"You can ask me anything, Dean." The creature told him. "It would only serve as poor entertainment to lie to you."

"What are you?"

"I was human. Now I'm complicated. Like Castiel with a belly full of souls." The creature watched reaction his reaction carefully. "Sore spot I know, but the process is very much the same. My teacher came to me and offered power. Now I can't even remember why I accepted. It cost me everything in return."

"When Cas took on the souls of purgatory he went insane and killed a bunch of people," Dean shot back. "Is that what you did too?"

The creature nodded, "In the end you wake up, realize what you've done, and wish for death only to discover that even his blade cannot harm you." The creature leaned forward to rest its elbows on its knees. "But that's not what you really wanted to ask me, is it?"

The question was met with more silence, but the creature could easily guess what was on the Winchester's mind.

"In how many worlds does little Sammy grow up to be a lawyer? Quite a few actually, with the occasional doctor, teacher, and firefighter for good measure." The creature said. "Those details are superficial."

"The angels did this…timeloop thing." Dean began.

"More the Doctor's area, not mine." The creature warned.

"I met my mom and dad when they were younger. I lead them to the yellow-eyed demon." Dean rubbed his face. "If I hadn't-"

"Then someone else would have drawn Abasil-"

"Azazel." Dean corrected.

"Whatever. If not you, then Sam or another angel." The creature rested what was supposed to be a comforting hand on Dean's bicep. "They all wanted the apocalypse to happen and acted accordingly."

"How do you know?"

The creature covered one eye and concentrated. "I can still see them." It said, "While I can't tell the future, but I can guess what might have happened by peaking into parallels to your world. Events that are triggered earlier or later cause a shift in the timeline. Like a comic book being updated for a modern audience."

Dean nodded.

"That's what destiny means," the creature told him. "No matter who makes it, the choice is always the same."

Dean asked quietly, "But I told the bastards 'no'. I told Michael to kiss my-"

"Because that too was your destiny," The creature interjected. "It's not destiny's fault the angels of your world have pigeon brains." The creature studied him carefully.

"What?" Dean asked when the staring became uncomfortable.

"Nothing, think I like you." The creature grinned. "But I like to bully my friends. It makes them stronger."

Dean gave the creature an annoyed look. "Explains why you don't have any."

The creature chuckled. "There are worlds where you are human. There are worlds where you are an angel and there are worlds where you're a demon… but the things that make you, well, you don't change." The creature paused and looked down ashamed. "I can't… I'm not strong enough reshape a world. I can only watch them or destroy them. It's kind of annoying."

"Destiny deals everybody a bad hand. Join the club." Dean assured the creature. "We got t-shirts and coasters."

"I was a soldier and a pretty crappy one, too, before the whole- you know." The creature did a weird hand motion that was supposed to mean something. "My fellow soldiers became my family. Their characters were flawed as hell, but I was in good company." The creature inhaled and added. "…I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Dean asked.

"For being unable to stop you from making the same mistake that I made." The creature replied.

"You said you couldn't see the future."

"Older doesn't make you wiser." It said. "It just makes you more set in your ways. You have things you want to protect. Time will make you weaker instead of stronger. To compensate for this I have no doubt you will do something very, very foolish."

Dean growled. "There's nothing wrong with protecting my family and my friends."

"Protect them from what exactly?" The creature snapped. "People live, they suffer, and then they die. You can't stop that from happening and believe me, I have tried."

"Yeah, well I'm not you." With rude gesture in reply Dean stormed off. After a moment Sam took his brother's place on the bench.

"You're definitely brothers." The creature mumbled.

"You shouldn't mess with his head like that." Sam said.

"I don't want him getting any stupid ideas." The creature's head shot up. "Like what you're thinking right now."

"How is wanting a monster-free life stupid?" Sam inquired.

"The monsters you fight are just one variety. Humans can be just as bad," the creature warned. "I'm not a demon. I don't make deals. It's too risky and I'm far too inexperienced. Any interference I make will run the risk of ruining the integrity of the universe. If I try to 'fix it'" the creature did the air quote thing. "So that your world is monster-free I could- …I don't know…accidently erase the fairer half the species at the same time. Is that what you want? A world without monsters and women? Do seven eyes, men with breasts, and pig's feet sound fun to you?"

"No, not really." Sam shook his head. "That bad? You're really not selling yourself short?"

"I'm pretty sure you're not gonna like what would happen if I start playing operation with your universe." The creature said firmly. "Think bad fanfiction with more kinks than a garden hose and that's probably the best case scenario."

Sam flinched at the idea. "Even if you can't change things, maybe we can from the inside. Maybe the Doctor or Cas can help us."

"That's a slippery slope Sam." The creature's voice took on a darker tone. "You start thinking what if and padded rooms start looking mighty cozy. No really. The décor really grows on you."

"Just give me something. Please." Sam went full on puppy eyes and the creature groaned. "If you can see the past then you know. You can tell me the first domino or something."

"You are a true Winchester." The creature reiterated. "You're brother takes more after your mother's side of the family, but you are very much like your father-"

"I'm not my dad."

"I wasn't referring to temperaments." The creature snapped back. "Most of John's more charming habits can be traced to his father… or lack thereof in any case. He always believed his own father just took off. That pain was never healed." The creature scoffed. "Generally speaking Henry Winchester, your paternal grandfather, would never willingly abandon his son."

"You're saying something happened to him?" Sam tensed. "Like our mom's relatives? Dad's family was-"

"Regardless of the circumstances," the creature cut in. "It is John Winchester's lack of faith in his father that makes him the man he is. …sorry, I mean was. That is your first domino. Tell me, how do you plan to change that exactly?"

Sam thought very hard for a moment.

"Do you see the similarities now, Winchester?" The creature asked in a mocking tone. "Where is the faith in your father? What happens when your surrogate father, your brother, proves he is no more than a man like any other?"

"I know Dean is only human." Sam drawled.

"Do you really? No bias whatsoever? No hero worship at all?"

"Wait, this isn't about us," Sam guessed. "This is about the angels, isn't it?"

The creature giggled. "It can be. As it is in Heaven, so it shall be on Earth. Be grateful you only have one sibling- Oh, wait."

There was another awkward silence.

The creature cleared its throat. "Fun fact: Sexual orientation is determined by environmental factors and thus yours varies from world to world."

"Huh?" Sam scratched his head. "Then what about soul-mates and such?"

"Soul mate," The creature recited. "Noun; a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament or who strongly resembles another in attitudes. First known usage in 1988." The creature tilted its head. "It has absolutely nothing to do with copulation or physical chemistry. In fact it's very rare to find-" Air quotes again "soul mates' who become lovers. Your soul mate is the person you share a lifelong bond with. To call it love or friendship would actually devalue the significance of the connection."

"How do you even know all this stuff?"

"I can analyze a world cluster in the time it takes you to skim a Reader's Digest." The creature smirked.

"World cluster?"

"Worlds of a similar structure like to group together." The creature covered one eye again. "I just have to focus on the traits I'm looking for. I could watch them for hours, but it's not just that. When you watch a sunset you're in awe of the visual aspect. When I see a world I actually feel it. The energy, the emotions, everything like a junky's first hit."

"You could show me." Sam pressed.

The creature shook its head. "It's not an RPG, Sam. It's life. At the end of yours your suffering ends. Let that be enough. Not all universe have a greats hits album as the consolation prize-" the creature's words are cut of. Still looking at the web of worlds the creature shakes and whimpers.

Sam stood up in alarm. "What is it?"

"Shit!" The creature coughs as blood drips from her good eye and mouth. Her eyes glaze over. "S-sorry," it stammered. "I-I-I haven't… since coming to the neutral zone I-"

The creature's voice becomes thick and heavy as she babbled, swept up by what she sees. Worlds upon worlds, whole galaxies and universes dancing and splitting. Love and hatred, peace and wars, chaos in its most magnificent form. The creature reached out and its mortal skin peels away as it reached through space and time.

"Ah," the creature gasped as the energy stung her being. Then she saw it. Her favorite flavor of existence that was sweet in every way. It called like an addiction, but the Neutral Zone was absolute in its purity and she could not break through the veil between worlds. In frustration the creature screamed.


A/N: Uhg, so much exposition. I am so sorry. Chapter 8 is always a curse no matter what I write. This one had to be broken up into two chapters.

PS: Feedback leads to higher quality. Hint hint.