Chapter Nine: Trouble in Paradis
"Glad you've finally stepped out for once, man! We've missed you," Connie laughed as he roughly pat Bertholdt on the back.
He was walking side-by-side with the shorter scout and Reiner—with the latter having decided to force him to interact with his comrades to "bring you out of your self-imposed exile."
To be frank, the statement itself was enough to make him crawl out of bed, with the words "exile" and "self-imposed" that frightened him into submission. Thus, he was accompanying, or in other words begrudgingly forced, to go out with Connie and Reiner for the day.
"Yeah, well, I need fresh air once in a while, I guess…" he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as a light sweat accumulated on his brow.
"Besides, we needed to get back to training, flex the muscles and all that," Reiner laughed while stretching his arms and neck in preparation. "Can't keep sitting on our asses, aye Connie?"
"Damn straight, man!" the shorter boy chuckled in response before slapping Reiner on the back.
The two boys laughed in tandem, a raucous, good-natured laugh, until Connie looked up and abruptly choked mid-cackle. Noticing this, Reiner looked up as well.
"Shit, it's Mikasa," Bertholdt heard his friend mutter before nudging Connie's side. The other boy looked at Bertholdt in concern.
Of all the days to finally step outside…
They were just casually ambling down the halls when he saw her.
It had been months since he last spoke to her much less seen her and with the absence of her presence, he felt that he may have been slowly recollecting his wits. He thought he had finally picked the broken shards of his conflicted feelings up and with the extra care of time and introspection, he was able to meld them back together again in one piece. His life, his daily routine was slowly becoming more cohesive again. He had finally regained a pleasant, premeditative status-quo. Slowly, but surely.
He was wrong, however.
The sight of her, the mere sight of her—with her hair pulled up into a short braid, clad in a simple white training tank, and her face glistening in sweat—had him undone.
That carefully controlled façade that he was able to piece back together over the past few months had crumbled into ashes, just like that. And he was reminded all over again why his life was harsh and why his love for her was borderline temerarious.
She was passing by with Armin, and judging from her disheveled state, she looked as if she had just finished training herself. She was seemingly oblivious of him as she kept her gaze glued in front of her path in resolution. Armin was speaking frantically and the two seemed to be hurriedly making their way somewhere. He felt his breath hitch in his throat and his heart began to beat in a maddening rhythm. It was her. It was really her.
Unfortunately, just as quickly as they passed through the halls, they had disappeared.
With Mikasa no longer in sight, Bertholdt let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding in.
"You okay, Bertholdt?" He heard Reiner prompt in concern.
Catching his breathe, he nodded, "Yeah, I think so..."
"I wonder what those two are up to now," Connie chimed in with a curious look.
Reiner glanced at him before placing his fist under his chin in contemplation. "Hm, speaking of which—"
"You three, you're apart of the 104th squadron, am I correct?" A loud voice called out to them, halting them in their conversation.
Bertholdt looked up and saw a figure marching towards them from beyond the corridor. Squinting his eyes, he realized that it was their Squad Commander Hange's assistant Moblit who had shouted from across the hall. He came striding in wearing his complete soldier's uniform, 3DM gear secured on each side of his legs.
"Is there something wrong sir?" Reiner was the first to address their superior. Connie and he followed suit as they saluted the man.
"Hoover and Braun, you're needed at the briefing room with Commanders Erwin and Hange," the man replied gruffly before turning towards Connie. "As for you, all of the rest of the 104th scouts are to meet at the training fields. You will proceed on combat drills effective immediately. Though he is injured, Captain Levi decided that he will be running the course today."
"Understood, sir," Connie said before turning back to them with a shrug. "Later guys, I'll be seeing ya!"
With that, he sauntered away whistling down the hall.
When the boy was finally out of sight, Moblit ordered them to follow him and without question they did so. They ambled behind the officer with solemn faces, still not quite sure as to why they were being summoned to speak with the commanders.
"What's this all about?" He whispered to Reiner and they both exchanged worried glances.
"I have no idea..."
He was afraid. Could they have found out? Did Armin hypothesize them to be the remaining Titan shifters that infiltrated the survey corps?
If so, was Erwin planning to confront them head on and worse, arrest them? Would they be tortured for information? How would they escape? How could they take on an entire castle of highly-skilled scouts who had a plethora of weapons at their disposal?
So many thoughts had ran through Bertholdt's mind and his anxiety was overwhelming him again. Sweat began to pour down his forehead and he trembled in fear with each step.
He glanced at Reiner who had always managed to maintain a poker-face in dire situations. He desperately wanted to know what his friend was thinking at the moment. Surely, he wasn't the only one plagued with a foreboding sense of paranoia.
It was strange that only he and Reiner were called to the commander's briefing room when the rest of their comrades were arranged to train for the remainder of the day. What did this mean for them? Would they be executed on spot?
The worse thought came into mind when he imagined Levi emerging from the shadows and slitting his throat. At the thought, Bertholdt grimaced.
When they entered commander Erwin's office, Bertholdt's breath caught in his throat at the sight of the occupants. The Commander had been poised, sitting upright with his hands folded under his chin and his elbows propped on his desk. Next to him, Squad Commander Hange was standing hunched and seemingly engrossed in the clipboard she had been studying.
However, it wasn't the two commanders that had him dumbfounded, it was the sight of the other three scouts that were standing on the opposite side of Erwin. It was Mikasa, Armin, and Eren.
Upon seeing her, her eyes had widened slightly before he recognized that she was trying to compose herself. A frown appeared on her lips and her eyes narrowed.
Bertholdt internally berated himself for staring so hard before averting his gaze away from her and casting his eyes down to the floor.
"Gentleman," Erwin greeted them before standing up to address the entire room. "You must all be wondering why I've called you five into my office today."
He listened carefully and fixated his attention on his blond superior, trying gravely at ignoring Mikasa's presence in the other corner.
From his peripherals, he could see her burning glare being directed towards him. It was as if there were no other persons in the room, and she was the only one there—consuming him with her seething glare and enormous presence. He was acutely aware of her and it made his mind buzz in a jumble of incoherent thoughts.
But despite the inner turmoil, Bertholdt was good at maintaining his composure aside from the nervous sweat that had been trickling down his temples. He licked his lips and cast his eyes back to the ground.
"Two months ago, we were able to effectively capture the Female type Titan, Annie Leonhart in the Stohess District..." Erwin began and Bertholdt inwardly winced at the sound of her name. From across the room, he noticed Mikasa stiffen, before balling her fists up in what he could infer was anger. It saddened him.
"Before she could scale the walls and escape, Leonhart managed to pull out pieces of...a strange material that composed the walls in Stohess revealing Titans within them," Erwin continued before glancing at Hange.
The entire room collectively gasped in shock and Bertholdt feigned along with them. Reiner and he were already aware that the family of the church had the walls created when the Founding Titan compelled thousands of titans to harden in the interior. It was apart of the history that all the children were taught in the Marley conditioning facility.
Erwin cleared his throat before continuing. "Officer Hange was able to extract a piece of the walls and has since been studying its cellular structure. The structure itself is similar to the material that Leonhart used to crystallize herself. She thinks that the walls may have been created using titans."
A look of consternation crossed Eren and Armin's features and Bertholdt glanced towards Mikasa who had managed to maintain a stoic face. By his side, Reiner was tense, looking as if he was mulling everything over.
"We delegated the most skilled of the 104th scouts, you three—Ackerman, Braun, Hoover—are the top three-ranked in your graduating class. In light of Eren's abilities and Armin's initiative in research, we too have decided that they will be indispensable in the mission you will be partaking in today."
"A mission?" Eren queried.
"Yes. Furthermore, we have reason to believe that all the walls may contain titans. We wanted to scout Wall Rose, but the military police had forbidden us to cross due to the mission in Stohess having caused a number of casualties both civilian and soldier. In short, it's out of our jurisdiction. Thus, all we can work with is Wall Maria until clearance is given by the higher-ups to allow us to revisit Wall Rose. Major Hange and I have been discussing the wall issue for months and the mission objective we drew to scout the walls was in the process for weeks. It has been finalized since last night."
Eren arched his brow. "So, why are we here?"
"We want you five, as a squad, to accompany Hange to Wall Maria. As of now, the wall is compromised with titans. It is a dangerous task to endeavor, that is why your squad along with another squad of veteran and probationary scouts will also be accompanying you."
"So, an escort mission?" Armin queried.
Erwin nodded his head. "You'll be leaving tonight since Titans will only be active during daylight. This will make the trip to Wall Maria relatively easy. However, come morning and the mission begins. Hange and her team can only work during daylight, your squad will be acting as support once the Titans reappear."
"Commander Erwin has personally chosen all five of you for this mission. Individually, you all possess skills unique to yourselves that will ultimately aid in humanity's discoveries. This is but one small step towards the path of learning the truth," Hange chimed in, lightening the mood.
"You will be leaving tonight. Prepare your horses and suit up. You are to group for squad briefings in the barracks before departure. Understood?" Erwin finished.
"Yes sir!" They all said in tandem and Bertholdt followed the other soldiers as he raised his hand to his heart in salute.
"Alright, you are dismissed."
When they dispersed, his eyes immediately flew to Mikasa and it seemed as if she too was searching for him. She was about to leave with Eren and Armin before she halted in the doorway.
She gave him a sad look, one that made his heart drop to his stomach. Her eyes spoke volumes, the once steely grey gaze taking on a more dull appearance. Her thoughts poured out of them, conveying to him what she wished to say the most. They said," Why did you leave? Why do you hide from me?"
She dropped her head low, breaking their eye contact and walked away. Leaving all the unspoken words to hang like a thick imperceptible tension in the air, one that was only tangible to him. The hurt in her eyes said it all. In that very moment, he realized that he never wanted her to ever look at him in that way.
Shaking himself, he turned to Reiner who gave him a knowing look. He nodded at him before they left to prepare for the mission.
At night, he grouped with the other scouts in the barracks. Fully geared in his uniform and with his equipment all prepared. He tried to avoid Mikasa the entire time, too ashamed to even look her in the eye again. He was afraid if he did, he would fall once more and come running to her without prudence.
He was walking next to Armin with Reiner and Eren off to the side. Mikasa, he assumed, had opted on falling back to congregate with Hange's team, avoiding him altogether. They were waiting for the rest of the scouts to appear before the commanders started the squad briefings.
"Do you really think the walls are made of titans?" Reiner asked Armin.
"I...I think it could be a plausible idea. When Annie tore parts of the wall off, I saw Titans in there. I was so...frightened. To think that those things have been occupying the walls for years, maybe even hundreds of years..."the shorter boy shuddered.
"You saw them in the walls?" He felt himself asking, trying to create a pretense of skepticism.
"Yes...It was a large one...One as big as the Colossal," Armin replied. "I told Major Hange that the walls may be composed of them in its entirety."
So, it was Armin who had figured it out. Yet again...
That boy was too smart for his own good. This could prove to be a problem for them in the future.
"Yeah, Armin was the one who kept talking about the walls. I didn't believe it at first, but officer Hange brought us to her research room one day and it sort of confirmed our suspicions. All we have to do now is check if this means all the walls have titans in them," Eren affirmed.
"Alright scouts, it seems everyone is here!" Hange bellowed silencing everyone. They all looked up to begin the briefings and Bertholdt spotted Mikasa on the other side of the crowd of scouts. He bit his lips and willed his eyes away from her. Letting Hange's directives drown out his thoughts, he allowed himself to lose his focus to the sound of the commander's voice.
When all the scouts collectively grouped and were briefed, they made haste and rode off into the night.
