CHAPTER NINE / JESS

she wants us to go back to her house and sit down Luke and Lorelei to tell them, straight away. i tell her it's still so fresh, we should wait for the novelty to wear off, at least a little bit, before we rush around spreading the word. just in case, she doesn't feel the same way tomorrow morning, i suggest. she kissed me hard and deep as way of arguing this impossibility. i laughed and told her to go back to Lane's, finish catching up with her best friend and that i felt like talking a walk, just being alone to sort out my thoughts for a bit.

she nodded, understanding me the way no one else ever has before, knowing instantly what i'd meant. she agreed to let me go after just one more kiss. that turned into another and another. until finally, her lips red and swollen, she stepped back and gave me the okay to go. "i don't ever want to be the one walking away ever again." she said.

"so does that mean you're always going to be the one watching me go when we have to leave each other?" i joked and she shoved me, blushing but nodding never the less. "pretty much." "you don't think it'd make more sense to just turn away at exactly the same time?" i suggested.

now, it's been about half an hour and i'm looking into the darkened windows of Stars Hollow's Books. she skips toward me, a giddy expression bouncing about her features. "well, don't you look happy?" i laugh as she leaps into my arms, much like she did in New York when i'd met her outside her work. "i have a lot to be happy about it." she replies, kissing me.

"you had a good chat with Lane, then?" she laughs, shaking her head. "you didn't have a good chat with Lane?" i back peddle, frowning."no. yes. wait." she pauses and then starts again. "i mean, i did. of course, i did. but that's not what's got me in such a good mood." "it's not?" i ask, playing dumb. she smiles. "no." she waits until after kissing me some more before finishing. "you see, i just got back together with my boyfriend and he's kind of amazing so that might be why i'm smiling so much."

i laugh, throwing my head back and her face is bright when i look back at her again. i slide a hand over her cheek. "you're so beautiful, rory." her smile only grows. "i love you." i say before we kiss again, going deeper this time.

"i love everything about you. i knew it, even when you walked away from us, away from stars hollow at 17." she adds when we break apart.

"well, maybe i only walked away because it was real and i was too young for real. they tell you, you won't find love until you're grown, until you're older but they're wrong. they lied. because we found it at seventeen. and god, how true it is." i reply as she strokes my arm, listening carefully. "shall we go home?" she asks after agreeing with me. "yeah, let's go home." i reply, slinging my arm around her shoulders as she puts hers around my waist and we cross the road.

it's late at night when we get back to Lorelei's house so we find Luke and her are getting ready for bed. "can we talk in the morning?" i see Rory whisper into her Mum's shoulder when they hug goodnight. "sure, thing, kid." her Mum winks, thinking it's something secretive and tells me she hopes i sleep alright on the floor. which is followed by another wink. Rory looks to me, panicked, thinking her Mum's caught on and already knows and we're not going to get the chance to break the news to them how we'd planned on our walk back.

Luke gives Lorelei a pained look. "don't give them any ideas." he remarks, hugging me and then kissing Rory's hair before taking Lorelei's hand in his and leading her up the stairs. "night!" Lorelei waves, watching us as she climbs the stairs. i'm only mildly surprised she doesn't trip since i've seen Lorelei walk backwards many times.

she seems to have mastered the act of not tearing your eyes away from somebody until the very last moment, which no doubt comes in handy when she's had to walk away from a conversation with Rory that they both know isn't finished yet.

"THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?" I look to Rory who's already looking back at me, as we stand below the bannister of her staircase. "WHAT? LORELAI, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT." Rory and I overhear Luke's reply. "NO, LUKE. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS NO IDEA..RORY AND JESS, THEY'RE TOGETHER NOW…AGAIN. IT'S SO OBVIOUS, HOW COULD YOU HAVE NOT NOTICED? THE WAY THEY STOOD TOGETHER AND SHARED THAT LOOK."

"TWO PEOPLE STOOD SIDE BY SIDE AND LOOKED AT EACH OTHER, NO WAY, REALLY? WAIT, ARE YOU SURE? DO YOU WANT TO CALL THE POLICE OR SHOULD I?" Luke mocks. "HONESTLY, LORELAI, JUST BECAUSE THEY STOOD CLOSE DOESN'T MEAN THEY'VE FIGURED ANYTHING OUT, YET. THEY'RE PROBABLY AVOIDING TALKING ABOUT IT..YOU KNOW HOW JESS IS. HE AVOIDS SERIOUS STUFF WHEN HE CAN HELP IT."

Gee, thanks for that, Uncle Luke. i mutter to the ceiling. "I KNOW MY KID, IS ALL I'M SAYING AND THAT GIRL DOWN THERE IS SO DATING THAT YOUR NEPHEW!" "OKAY, EW. CAN YOU NOT REMIND THE FACT THAT THEY'RE ALMOST RELATED?" to this, Lorelei scoffs. "LUKE, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, THEY'RE NOT RELATED." "I KNOW THEY'RE NOT BY BLOOD, BUT TECHNICALLY, BECAUSE WE'RE MARRIED AND THEY'RE EACH RELATED TO ONE OF US.." "NO, EW, NO." Lorelei shrieks. "DON'T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN." "WHAT? IT'S THE—" "IT'S NOT ANYTHING BUT UNNECESSARY." Lorelei insists.

"YOU REALLY THINK THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER?" Uncle Luke's voice drops low and Lorelei must nod or something because the next thing we hear is Luke's voice again. "OH WOW. THIS IS GREAT, DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS GREAT? I THINK THIS IS GREAT." Lorelei laughs. "I SEEM TO REMEMBER YOU SAYING THAT VERY SAME THING WHEN THEY WERE SEVENTEEN AND I FIRST TOLD YOU THEY GOT TOGETHER AT THAT DANCE MARATHON THING THE TOWN HOLDS."

"BETTER THAN GREAT. WOW. RORY AND JESS, JESS AND RORY. THAT SURE IS SOMETHING, ISN'T IT?" Uncle Luke keeps going as though Lorelei hadn't spoken. Rory looks away from the staircase to face me, coming over to nuzzle into my side. i put my arm around her. we don't need to hear anymore. "Sounds sure do travel in this house, don't they?" i say as we both burst out laughing and walk to her room together. i think it's pretty clear how Uncle Luke feels about us being together by the surprised and happy tone of his voice.

we let go so she can shut the door behind us. "you can forget that crumby mattress on the floor, by the way. you'll sleep where you belong. up here with me." she says firmly as she pulls back the covers of her bed. she doesn't ask me to but i still turn around when she changes into her pyjamas. she laughs when she sees my back. "Jess, i'm done. you can look at places other than the wall, now." "hey, don't tease. i was being respectful." i say. "respectful." she repeats, nodding. "now take your pants off and get into bed."

i laugh and strip down to my boxers, climbing up onto the bed with her. she kisses me and then lies down. i pull the covers up. she reaches for my arm after rolling onto her side, facing away from me and brings it over her as i turn onto my side too. "are we really going to be one of those couples that spoons?" i cringe. "oh, shut up. you love it." she tells me not unkindly, lacing her fingers through mine and closing her eyes.

and she's probably right because i fall asleep quicker than i have in ages.

in the morning i wake up, roll over and reach across for Rory, hoping to hug her close kiss her cheek but i'm alone. i sit up in bed, glancing around, just as Rory slips back inside. she's fully dressed and pulling her hair out of a messy bun. "oh hey, you're awake!" "where have you been?" i ask, rubbing my eyes.

"oh, i had a shower. don't worry, i haven't been up for long or anything like that." "are we ever going to wake up together?" i pose, thinking back to how she had showered and dressed before i'd even opened an eyelid yesterday in New York. she laughs and comes over to me, sensing that i need reassurance.

she pecks my lips and strokes my arm. "oh, Jess, of course we are. i just didn't want you to smell my bad bed breath yet and see me…well, un-groomed, i guess. at least, not yet. there'll be plenty of time for you to see me like that, i promise you." she laughs, unbothered and pushes my bangs back from my face. "you woke up just in time, too."

"just in time for what?" i ask, widening my eyes. "it's alright, don't look so freaked out, babe. it's just i heard Mum and Luke's shower running before so they're up. it won't be long until they come downstairs to make breakfast but if you make a break for it now, you might just have time to slip into the bathroom downstairs to shower and get dressed without being seen." i nod, getting the message and peck the side of her head before scrambling to get out of bed and gather some fresh clothes.

sure enough, when i wander back into the kitchen, after my shower, Lorelei and Rory are sitting at the table, talking. Rory smiles as i walk past and go into her room. i shove my old boxers into the bottom of my bag and curse that i forgot a toothbrush. i'll have to pick one up at Doosey's Market, i make a mental reminder for myself and return to the kitchen.

"Want some coffee?" Rory offers, getting up and fetching a mug from one of the top cupboards. "oh, actually, Luke was hoping we could all have breakfast at the diner together." Lorelei pipes up, looking from Rory to me.

i shove my hands into my back pockets, swaying back on the balls of my feet. "Uh, yeah. sure. that sounds fine. i mean, if that's what Rory wants." i look over Lorelei's head to Rory who returns the mug to the cupboard before coming back towards me.

"That sounds great, Mum." she tells Lorelei. "Awesome." Lorelei pushes her chair back from the table, standing up. "well, i'll just feed Paul Anka and then we'll go?" "sure." Rory and i both agree as Lorelei leaves the room.

"you okay?" Rory asks, placing a hand on my cheek. i lean into it without thinking and let myself relax. "i am now." i reply as she sighs herself and puts her other hand on my hip, hugging me. "you sure you're okay with breakfast? i know it's very different to us just eating quietly here. there's probably going to be locals there and they might ask questions, y'know at seeing us together again.." her voice trails off and i shake my head, meeting her eyes. i make my voice as sincere as i can manage, having woken up only ten minutes ago.

"i'm sure, Rory. trust me, i'm going to tell you when i'm not, this time around." she nods. "good." we kiss, hearing the sound of dog pellets being poured into a bowl in the next room. "so, Paul Anka finally got over his insistence at only eating in the kitchen, it seems." Rory informs me as i follow her back into her room to put on a jacket and scarf. i hold my hand out to her as we head to the front door and she takes it without even looking.

"sleep okay?" Lorelei asks me as we start the walk to Luke's, Rory between us. "yeah." i reply, as Rory starts swinging our arms like school kids do when they're forced into the buddy system on an excursion or school trip of some kind. Rory smiles between me and her Mum, happiness etched on every inch of her face. as Rory and i jump up on the step to go into Luke's, Lorelei stops. "Rory, honey, could i maybe have a quick word with Jess?"

Rory's hand is around the door knob but she doesn't move. "uh.." "just him and me. it'll only take a sec." Lorelei clarifies, as though that detail wasn't already clear. "Rory, go on in." i kiss her cheek. "i'm okay." she waits, sizing me up as though looking for a fault in my assurance. she mustn't find one though, since she tells us she'll save a table and order her Mum's regular while she's waiting, disappearing through the diner door.

"so, Jess.." Lorelei meets my eyes. "Lorelei.." "why don't we go over here? so we're not blocking the entrance or anything." she points and we move aside as a couple smile and bustle through. we're standing by the window now as she turns back to face me. "Rory caught me up to speed this morning." "i figured as much." i say, fidgeting by clapping my fist into my palm, making a clicking sound like i used to do when i was seventeen and had to stand somewhere and be talked down to by an adult. it's crazy how much being back with Rory has made me remember habits and tendencies from my past.

"I just wanted to touch bases with you and say that my statement from five years ago still stands." that catches me off guard. i look away from the road and back to her face. "it does?" i clear my throat, not intending for my voice to sound so incredulous. Lorelei smiles, obviously enjoying this, amused at watching me squirm. this makes me think back to when Rory told me she enjoyed watching me squirm and that it was entertaining for her. i remember telling her not to get used to it.

the memory makes me smile, which Lorelei must mistake for me being pleased with her approval. "i'm glad you remember what i said." she touches my arm, as though she's about to walk away and then thinks better of it. her grip tightens slightly. "and, Jess?"

"yeah?" "if you hurt her again, you won't just have me to answer to this time, you'll have Luke and he may've forgiven you the last time because you were young and he thought Rory was better off without you since you hadn't quite figured out what path you were gunna take yet, but let me just clear something up for you..he's not gunna let you leaving Rory a second time, slide."

i don't even think about it. my reply comes naturally and i'm worried afterwards that Lorelei might mistake it for me being a smart ass, always ready with a smug retort. "you and Luke don't have to worry about that. i am not walking out on Rory a second time, and you can hold me to that." when Lorelei stifles a small smile, i know we're okay and she's not angry. "well, okay then. if you sound so sure, Luke and i will hold you to that." i nod and she lets go of my arm, moving past me and entering the diner.

i push the door back, following behind her and look to Luke behind the till, passing a plate over to Kirk who sits at the counter with a girl beside him. "hey, who's that chick Kirk's talking to? don't tell me weird man-child Kirk has a lady friend?" i whisper to Rory, sitting down beside her and resting my hand on the back of her chair. she laughs, leaning in to reply. "oh, yeah. that's Lulu. i forgot you never got to meet her. they've been together for ages. it's like they're made for each other. she puts up with all his weird quirks and he adores her."

"huh." i snatch up a chilli fry, tossing it in my mouth as Rory laughs at me and rests her head on my chest, pulling her chair closer. i rub her back with one hand and reach for another fry with the other. "hey, don't fill up on chilli fries. you've got a real breakfast coming." Luke announces, coming over, balancing plates all up his arms. Lorelei plucks a plate down, passing it to Rory and helps Luke dish the meals out. "Thank you." i say, receiving mine. Lorelei adds salt and pepper while Rory takes a sip of her orange juice. They work seamlessly between one another, taking forkfuls of the other's plate and chatting all the while.

Luke and i share a look. there's no denying the connection Rory and her Mum share, it's as if they are in sync. after we eat, Luke jolts his head towards the storeroom, mutters something to Lorelei about getting back to work and seeing her later for dinner, kisses her cheek before swinging his leg over the chair, standing and walking away. i put down my glass and touch a hand to Rory's arm resting on the table. "I'll be right back." "everything okay?" "yep, Luke just wants a word." i whisper back. "oh, okay." relief fills her face and she kisses my lips before i walk away, not quick enough to miss hearing Lorelei say "now, that's a kiss!"

"Mum!" "what? you don't remember Babette, Miss Patty and i giving you a hard time on thanksgiving when you and Jess first got together about how you kissed—" "i remember, okay!" Rory interrupts, her voice shrill, mortified at Lorelei. "i just wasn't expecting you to bring it up now, out of nowhere!" "it wasn't out of nowhere!" Lorelei argues. "this was the first time you guys have kissed in front of me since!" i smirk to myself, silently wishing Rory luck on getting herself out of the awkward conversation with her mother as i duck into the storeroom.

"Look, if this is about giving me a don't hurt Rory heart to heart, you can save it since Lorelei already took care of that." Luke folds his arms across his chest, glaring at me. "let me guess? shut up Jess." i say, predicating what he was going to say. he nods one and i zip it. "i pulled you in here to ask some questions. and you're going to answer them, got it? no wisecracks, no one word answers, no avoiding—"

"i got it." i interrupt, rolling my eyes. Luke's glare strengthens. "Question one, have you and Rory talked about what this means for her career?" "excuse me?" "Well, she travels a lot and you..well, don't." "hey!" i take a step forward. "i'm just saying!" Luke retorts. "And anyway, it's true, Jess. now, neither of you are seventeen anymore so i'm not going to play the guardian card and try to lay down some ground rules or anything superior like that." "well, good to know." "no sarcasm either!" he whacks my chest, not hard enough for it to hurt, just to snap me into gear.

"Lorelei and i will not have you holding her back." "Luke, i really don't think you're—" He holds up a hand, motioning that he wasn't finished. "she's finally made a name for herself, after all those years of working hard and dedicating herself, of putting her studies first. and you will not step in now, and mess it all up. her world is chaotic enough without you adding stress to—"

"now that's not necessary—" i interject only to have him talk over the top of me before i can even begin to point out that he's overstepping. Rory and i are both only a few years away from thirty now, so i hardly think Uncle Luke should be telling us how to run our lives.

"Question two, have you given much thought to where you're going to live? Because i know you settled back in New York a few months ago but as i said Rory's job can take her anywhere and everywhere, so that's definitely a discussion worth having. You'll both need to sit down and—"

"let me guess..discuss it?" i mock and Luke gives me a bored strained look, as though merely standing here and attempting this conversation with me is painful for him. "Jess, can you just her serious, please? this is real life and i know you and Rory both like to live with your heads in the books but if you guys being together is really going to work, it'll mean commitment and hard work for both parties." "i know all this, Uncle Luke. look, i appreciate the sentiment, i really do, but don't you think Rory and i are old enough to realise we have to figure all of this out, ourselves?"

i continue. "don't you have just a little bit of faith in us that we'll know what to do?" Luke's arms are still crossed and his expression stays completely blank as he replies; "no, i do not." i laugh, thinking he's kidding just to emphasise his point but when he doesn't join in, i stop. "you're not kidding?" he shakes his head. "i was the one who supported this from the start, Jess. but that doesn't mean i won't hesitate to step in this time around, if things start to go downhill again. do i make myself clear?" "crystal." i scoff as Luke turns me back around and pushes me towards the exit. "alright then, i'm glad we understand each other."

"now let's head back to the girls, shall we?" his suggestion is more of an instruction so i lead the way back to the table. but as i watch Uncle Luke sit back down, telling Lorelei that Caesar's got the kitchen covered for now and that Luke can afford to sit with us for a little longer, i can't seem to bring myself to follow. "Jess?" Rory draws away from her conversation with her mother to look over to me.

i don't say anything as Lorelei smiles at Luke, touching a hand to his face, evidently delighted at the prospect of him not putting work first. i grab my jacket off the back of my chair and am out the door, down the step and crossing the street almost before my brain can process the message to my muscles and limbs. it's as though they're acting on their own accord.

"Jess! Hey! Where are you going?!" Rory runs out after me. of course she does. how could even a small part of me have thought she would just stay behind in the diner and let me walk out? "Jess, i know you can hear me!" she finally catches up to me and jumps in front, forcing me to stop. i shrug my jacket on and look anywhere but at her. "why can't you look at me?" she asks, her eyes already dimming, her voice laced with hurt. "Jess, what the hell did Luke say to you?"

when i still don't explain, she brings her arms around her, shivering against the cold without her coat or scarf since she left them back in the diner from chasing after me so quickly. "you can tell me. you know you can. what happened?" "i'm just fucking sick of people interfering in our lives, Rory. in our relationship, if you can even call it that."

"what is that supposed to mean?" "well, i don't know whether we're actually dating right now, are we? because i don't think you can call randomly making out a few times and then agreeing to give things another go, dating?" "and why not?" she retorts, frowning at me, confused and growing defensive.

"we're diving. that's what we're doing. we're diving all in this time. we're not letting people constantly toss their two cents in and hold us back from being honest with each other, from baring all." she finishes. i shake my head, noticing people looking our way and whispering to whoever's next to them. "fuck, i hate small towns." i mutter and Rory's eyes grow wide. "Jess.."

"can't you see this?" i explode, stretching my arms out. "don't pretend you can't, Rory! everybody's talking! everybody's already judging us, already chiming in with their thoughts!" i try to calm myself down as she puts a hand on my chest, stepping closer. "Jess, it's okay. we're okay. ignore them, just don't think about them..they don't matter."

"except, they do, don't they?" i say and her eyebrows crease together. "what? what are you talking about?" "the people of this town. this whole fucking place! it does matter to you, all of it matters to you!" "well, yeah. it's my home. it's where i was raised. it's where i feel safest." her answer is honest and comes easily to her, i can tell.

i take her hands in my own, sudden and with an urgency that catches her off guard. "let's leave, Rory." "what?" "let's get away, just you and me." "from Luke's?" she glances back over her shoulder at the diner. "from Stars Hollow!" "why? Jess, we only just got here yesterday." "i know that, Rory, but already, people are talking, already we're being pushed and prodded and studied and observed." "Jess, you're acting crazy. nobody's prodding anybody, we're not being studied!"

"except that we are, Rory!" "by who?" she scoffs, disbelief and judgement knotting together among her features. i feel a twist in my chest somewhere deep as i open my mouth to answer. "by Luke, by your Mum, by this whole screwed up place!" "Jess, don't say that about the town! this is my home, remember and it once was yours too!" i scoff and she pulls her hands away. "Rory.." "No, Jess. my answer's no." "answer to what?"

"to whether we can leave right now. i'm saying no, i don't want to run away." "Rory.." i reach for her again and she lets me wrap my arms around her waist, touching a hand to my neck and locking eyes with me. "Jess, i love you. and i can understand that being here again might be hard for you because you don't have the same memories associated with this place as me."

"well, that's the understatement of the year." i scoff and throw my attention out over the town square, still holding Rory close, but with a pain in my head starting from the stress and the suffocation that always threatens to take over me whenever i'm back here.

Rory holds my chin and turns my face back to her, "look at me when i say this, Jess." "as much as it might feel like it, nobody is looking at us. nobody is judging us, or you." she pauses, releasing my chin but moving her hand to my shoulder. "this is your home. i know it might not have always felt like it, but you were always welcome here. at Luke's."

"my home has always been New York." i correct and she sighs. "yes, i know that, but what i'm trying to say is this place was too and still is, if you let it." "do you remember what i said to you at Yale?" i say, changing the subject. she frowns at me, upset that i'm not listening or taking in what she's telling me.

"which part?" she finally relents. "because if i'm being entirely honest, that whole night was a blur and i think my mind tried to block it out pretty much straight after it happened.." it's me who sighs this time and fiddles with the hem of her top, looking down as she keeps her attention on trying to read my expression.

"the part when i said come with me, let's run away, i'm ready for this now, you can count on me, i knew you couldn't count on me before but you can now.." "you can." she repeats just as i did that night. "what about it, Jess?" "well, it still applies now." i start. "i suggested that we move to New York together that night, that we work and live together.. and i want to do that still but i know your job means you travel a lot so we can go anywhere.."

"we can't, Jess. your life is in New York, what about Truncheon?" she pauses and then shakes her head. "this is crazy, anyway. we don't have to talk about this now. we don't have to decide right now, so why are you worrying about it?"

"because, Rory, because this place," we both look around us. "..it's no good for us, it's suffocating, it'll suck the fun out of what we have, it'll make you question things.." "Jess, hey, listen to me." she cups my face in both her hands. "it's not making me question anything. i know i want to be with you. i know what we have is for good, now, that we'll make it last this time." "but we can't do that here. it won't work if we stay here." "we're not staying here. who said anything about us staying here?"

"Jess, talk to me, explain. please. where are you getting this from? this idea that we're being watched, that people are controlling us, interfering?" she tries to force me to look her in the eye, still holding my face. i place a hand on her arm. "forget about Truncheon. forget about that fact that i live in New York for a second, okay?" "okay.." her voice is unsure, guarded. she probably thinks i've lost it, that i'm talking like a madman, my point all scattered and lost.

"i'll follow you." "follow me?" "follow you wherever you go. wherever your career takes you. Rory, i love you and what I'm trying to say is don't think i'm tied down to New York, because i'm not. i'll leave it behind in a heartbeat if that's what you want, if that's what you need me to do..for this, for us." she almost lets herself smile and starts to trace circles on my jaw with her forefinger. "Jess, thank you but i couldn't ask you do that. i love that you're willing to talk about this, to decide things, because i know we have to, we really do, but must we discuss this now? can't we wait until later, at least? until we're alone and not out in the middle of the street alone but actually somewhere just us?" she laughs, trying to make light but i pull back. "yeah, sure. okay." i say but she knows i'm closing myself off. i can see it behind her eyes, that she knows. she can recognise the telltale signs now. maybe she was able to recognise them, even back then, but just never said anything.

"Jess..what are you doing? don't leave, come back inside with me. breakfast is almost finished okay? i just want to finish talking with Mum, come sit with me inside, okay?" i shake my head, shoving my hands roughly into my pockets, my jacket being blown open by the wind because i never did do it up. "i don't think i can do that, Rory."

"what do you mean? of course you can. Jess, come on..stop being like this." her voice goes up an octave or two and i realise something. "like what?" she bites her bottom lip. "like what, Rory?! LIKE THIS? LIKE THIS IS HOW I AM? YOU'RE ASKING ME TO STOP BEING LIKE HOW I AM?!" "NO, I'M NOT ASKING THAT, JESS. GODDAMN IT. OF COURSE, NOT!"

She screams back at me, her face red, her tone frustrated. "i don't want to fight with you, Jess. i don't want to yell anymore. i'm sick of our screaming matches in the streets!" "yeah, well, i'm sick of you putting this town, putting everybody else before me!" "what are you saying? i don't think even you know anymore. where did this come from, Jess? ten minutes ago we were fine! sitting at the table, before Luke and you went into the store—what did he say to you?" she interrupts herself, her train of thought obviously being tripped up by another.

"oh my god, what did he say?" she walks over to me since i'd started to retreat. she grabs at my jacket, balling tuffs of it inside her fists. "Jess, tell me." she demands. she isn't asking anymore, she's practically ropable. "Rory, i just want go…" my voice sounds like a whine. and maybe that's what i'm doing, maybe i am whining but so what? if that's what it'll take for her to see how damaging this town is to us, then i have to try.

"Jess, if you won't tell me, i'll go back in there and get it out of Luke." "Rory..it's nothing. please. i'm just overreacting, like i always do. please just drop it." i sigh and cover both her fists with my own hands, but she shoves me back, letting go and storms off to the diner. "RORY!" I shout after her, taking a step forward. but i don't follow her, i don't chase her. because i'm sick of chasing after her. i won't do it anymore. instead i curse at the sky and do up my jacket as i walk away, in the opposite direction. leaving the diner, Luke and Lorelei, and Rory behind