Author's Note: This chapter will go back and forth between Jacob and Emmett, I will mention when it switches from one to the other, and there will be over lapses in time with both of them, hope that makes things a little clearer for you. A lot of you had questions about Jacob's wolf being torn from him and hopefully I'll also clear that up within the next two chapters.

Warning: This story contains mature themes. No Underaged readers.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's related characters and themes. I am not paid for this fan fic.

Chapter Nine: Two Halves of a Whole


Jacob's View

My heart was screaming at me, and I was ignoring it.... My mind was telling me to go back, but I kept running. My body was straining against itself, and I was stumbling, half of me needing to go back, half of my knowing if I did, I'd be dead in less then an hour. That is how quickly a shifter dies when their animal is ripped from them.

I had lost Emmett several miles back. I don't know if it was because he had given up trying to follow me, or just because I'd out run him enough to make him see he'd never catch up, after all even with his vampiric speed, my four legs were faster then his two. Once I was sure he wasn't following me, I made my way towards Canada, heading as far away from any signs of human life.

I broke down once I knew I wasn't near where any humans were, I phased back and collapsed in the snow, curling into myself. I wanted to pretend it didn't hurt, but I felt like I was dying. I couldn't breath and my usually hot body felt beyond freezing. I screamed my pain and anguish into the air and let tears slid down my cheeks.

It was supposed to hurt, I was supposed to feel like this. It was punishment for falling in love with something that was against the nature my people lived for. Something that continued living after it had died, it was the largest taboo to my people. Cold ones, leeches, vampires.... I had been taught that they were were disgusting, vile and evil all my life, and for so long I believed it.

I put my arms over my head and gritted my teeth. All my life I'd been raised to be strong, now I was breaking down.

If ever there was a time in my life I wished to be born to a regular plain old American family... it would be time.

When most teens fell in love with someone their parents didn't like there was screaming and slamming doors, sneaking out in the middle or the night. But with me, everyone on the Rez knew, everyone didn't like it. I was made into the enemy; my father looked at me like I was an abomination. I was half expecting him to disown me right then and there, expecting him to kick me off the Rez to go live in a sistering tribe further south... I kinda wish he had.

Now I'm laying here in the snow with nothing but my thoughts and pain, and things have never felt more hopeless.

I never thought I'd fall in love this deeply, never thought that being pulled away from the one I imprinted on would be so painful. I wondered what the elders would think when they found out I imprinted on Emmett. Would they rip my wolf from me? So I'd die and hopefully be reincarnated into something that they could control better?

"Do you really think they would pull us apart?"

I looked up, sitting on it's hunches in front of me was a large wolf, my wolf. Russet shaggy fur, and glowing dark brown eyes.

"The elders may be stubborn old men, but they can be taught to see reason." My wolf continued, standing gracefully. It's large paws left no prints in the snow. "Pup, things may be hard now, but you will come back stronger after our journey, you will learn from your past life, be ready to lead, you'll know how to love."

"I know how to love." I said as my wolf curled around me, warming me.

"Pup, you don't know the last thing about life. You are still to young, but I will show you." My wolf's voice sounded full of wisdom, full of something I did not have. "But for now pup, you must rest, being away from our mate will be hard on both of us. It's going to hurt, but in the end our bond will be stronger."

"Will Emmett be waiting for me when I get back? This journey takes a long time, by the time I come back. The Cullens could be gone." I said.

"A vampire lives forever pup. Do you really think he will care? Do you think time is against him?" My wolf laughed, it was deep and rough. "You are so silly. You hang on human ideas of time pup. You will not age as long as you embrace me, so for now rest. In the morning, our journey begins." My wolf rested his head over mine. I closed my eyes, but was restless. My wolf let out another low chuckle, and rubbed it's head against mine. It's snout brushing through my hair. "Relax pup, now is not the time for thinking, now is the time for sleep."


Emmett's View

I felt lost.... I was lost... Jacob had some how managed to hide his scent, and I couldn't chase after him any more. I roared in anger and lashed out, snapping a few rather old large trees in half and tore them apart in my despair. I was panting even though I didn't need to breath, and I was staring up at the moon like it was the one that pulled Jacob away from me.

I heard howling behind me. A group of howls, it was them, the real reason Jacob was gone. I went towards them. I found them, the pack all sitting on a small bluff on the other side of the territory line. When they heard me, their howling stopped, and they watched me with glowing eyes.

"Where is he!" I roared. "Tell me where he went!"

One of the smaller wolves phased, his nakedness hidden by the bluff he was on. He looked like the youngest, smelt the youngest.

"We don't eve know." He said sadly and my eyes fixed on him. "Even though he's part of our pack, right now, we cannot hear him."

Slowly they all began to phase.

"So you are his leech?" The one girl in the pack asked and I growled at her. She was laying flat on her large rock, her dark hair pulled over her shoulders. "He defended you, you should be happy."

"Why don't you know where he is?" I asked

"It's just the way it is." Sam spoke, I glared at him.

"This is your fault." I growled at him.

"It's no one's fault." The young one said again and I looked at him. "It's the way things are."

"It's wrong!" I roared. "Do you have any idea what it feels like to have your heart torn away from you!?"

They were all staring at me, shock on their faces.

Sam's eyes narrowed suddenly and he growled. "He imprinted on you didn't he?"

I looked at him, I didn't know what to say, so I told the truth. "Yes, and I love him."

Sam growled. "Then stop whining, he will come back to you, it's the only thing that made him agree to this stupid journey instead of letting the elders take his wolf and kill him."

I growled. "Are you people really that stubborn? That you'd kill one of your own instead of allowing him his happiness?" I asked.

"Do you really think I want Jacob dead? That any of us want to see him dead?" Sam asked.

"Sam, we shouldn't be talking to him. The elders will have all our hides." The girl said.

"Hush Leah," Sam said and looked at me. "You may not like our traditions, but there's nothing you can do about it. Jacob will come back, you just have to keep yourself together long enough for him to come back to you."

I gritted my teeth.


Jacob's View

Phasing had only ever been painful the first time I phased, the mix of emotions, happiness and anger, as well as jealousy and loneliness had been why I shifted, but now, that I had none of those emotions, it was like my body didn't have a reason to shift, and I had to learn all over again, why I was what I am.

My wolf sat on its haunches watching me with glowing dark eyes.

My body would shift part way, then a pain would shoot through me and I'd turn back. It felt like I was torn in half each time, and after a while I couldn't move.

"You're not focusing pup. What is it that makes you strong?" My wolf stood and walked towards me and I looked up at him from my spot trembling on the ground.

"I don't know what you mean. You are the reason I am strong, I shift because you live inside of me." I said.

"No, you are wrong. I am in you because you are strong. What makes you strong pup?" My wolf leaned down so it's large eyes were the same level as mine. "What makes you continue to live, what makes your heart beat? Makes your spirit fly and your body feel?"

"I don't know," I said.

"You need to think about this pup." My wolf nudged my side and I rolled onto my back and he curled around me. "When I was young, before you were even born, I knew a man, a vampire. I saw him hunting in the woods, and I studied how he hunted, watched the way he watched his prey, the way he cornered his prey, and how he took it down. But just because he was strong, he was not evil, just because he could kill an animal much stronger then he should've been, he did not hunt for the thrill. This vampire, only killed to survive, only took what he needed, and respected the Earth. Do you know why?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "It sounds like he respected nature, because at one time, he knew how deadly it was." I said.

"Yes pup yes." My wolf said. "He learned that the animals he could kill had power, he knew that they were strong, so he fought them with honor. Do you know why I'm telling you this?" My wolf asked.

"Not a clue." I said and my wolf laughed, the deep rumble in his chest comforted me.

"The elders were once like you are now. They know the power you have, and you know the power they once had. You also know the weakness they now have because you once knew it too. You are different from them though now. You will always have me, you will never again know this weakness. You need to respect the elders, put them on equal grounds with you." My wolf explained.

"I can't fight them, I'd kill them." I said.

"That is not what I'm trying to tell you pup. You need to see things through their eyes. Before when they were the pack, things were much different. There were more rouge vampires which hunted humans, there hasn't been rouge vampires except the ones you saw with your mate." My wolf sighed. "Sleep now, we will talk more in the morning."

I closed my eyes and quickly let my exhaustion win out.

****

I woke to the sound of snow crunching beneath someone's feet and my eyes snapped open. It was just barely dawn, the sun barely lighting the sky.

"Hello wolf, I've been looking for you."

My eyes focused on James, he was standing in the trees, watching me with hungry eyes.

"What do you want?" I asked slowly standing.

James smirked and stepped towards me. "Is there a reason you're in the middle of nowhere, sleeping on the ground?" James asked looking over my bare chest, and my tattered jeans that barely covered me. "Fight with the big vampire you were sleeping with?" James was barely a foot away from me, and I still couldn't phase. I stepped back, but he grabbed my wrist. His hand was so cold, even though Emmett was the same thing as him, Emmett didn't feel like this, his cold was nice, but this vampire's cold, made me feel sick.

"What do you want?" I asked again.

"That depends," James said with a grin. "How will your vampire react to me touching you?" James pulled me against him and crashed our lips together. I tasted blood on his lips and my stomach churned, he had feed very recently. "Whats the matter? Doesn't your vampire taste like blood too?" James licked down my neck. "For a dog, you smell really good, maybe its because that vampire's scent is all over you. Just the right mix of sweet and spice, you smell like sex, how fitting." James chuckled.

I pulled away and punched him hard. I felt both the bones in my hand and the bones in his cheek break and I gritted my teeth, moving back more. I spit the taste of him from my mouth. I was already mated, I belonged to someone already, and he was trying to take that away from me. "You're going to regret touching me." I growled phasing and James's eyes went wide for a moment.

"Is that right?" James licked his lips and crouched into a fighting stance.

I was surprised he could understand me. I growled though, and crouched down, ready to lung at him. The fur that ran along my spine stood up on end and James only seemed to like it more. He lunged at me, swinging his hand down, and hitting me hard on the side of my snout, knocking me over, and then he vanished.

I looked around, phasing back to human, my heart was pounding and I gritted my teeth, tasting blood in my mouth. The hit had been real, but James hadn't been. "What's going on?"

"You for a brief moment knew why you are strong." My wolf appeared in front of me. "Do you know what it is?"

"I don't like riddles." I growled.

"It's not a riddle. You already know what I am talking about, yet you pretend you do not Jacob. Where does your strength come from?" My wolf sat on his haunches and licked it jowls slowly.

I growled. "Don't play with me."

"I am not doing anything pup. You are testing yourself just as much as I am. You are putting yourself through these tests. You are the reason James appeared, not me."

"Why would I want that freak anywhere near me?" I asked.

"You like being dominated."

My face flushed. "No I don't."

"You cannot lie to me." My wolf snickered. "There is no shame in it. The desire to feel as if you will always be protected is nothing to be ashamed of pup. But you also must know, you are strong enough to protect yourself. You must know why you willingly allow Emmett to dominate you, and not anyone else,"

"Because I imprinted on him." I said.

"Why did you imprint on him?"

"Because he was the best choice in mate. Because he is strong and caring." I said.

"Anyone can be those things. Why then did you decide Emmett was better than Sam?"

"Because I love him." I said.

My wolf grinned. "Yes pup. Because of love." My wolf stood and walked over to me. "You're getting closer, but the journey is still far from over. Prepare yourself."


Emmett's View

"Are you just going to sit here and wait for him to get back?"

I looked up at Jasper, he was standing in the doorway, and I was sitting on the front step of the house.

"It's where I'm needed." I said.

"How long are you going to wait?" Jasper sat next to me.

"As long as it takes." I said. "He's doing this so we can be together. I'd not be worthy if I gave up."

"Emm?"

"Yea Jazz." I said closing my eyes.

"Shifters don't live forever." Jasper said.

"I know."

"What are you going to do when it's time for him to pass his wolf to a new generation?" Jasper asked.

"We haven't talked about it." I admitted. "We've been so busy worrying about how we're going to stay together now. We haven't had time to think about staying together forever."

"Do you want to turn him?" Jasper asked.

"I just want to be with him." I said.

"You didn't answer me." Jasper said. "What if after all this is over the elders still rip his wolf away?" Jasper asked.

My brow furrowed and I scrubbed my hands over my face. "I don't know if Jacob wants to be turned." I said quietly.

"But would you do it? To keep him with you? To keep him alive?" Jasper asked.

"I'd do anything." I said.

"I think you should talk to him about it when he gets back." Jasper said. "We can't stay here forever, we don't age, people will start to catch on, and it will be time for us to move on as soon as Edward and Alice finish this school year." He said and I nodded.

"Jasper." I said as he started to walk back into the house.

"Yeah?"

"Would you do it? Turn someone to be with them?" I asked.

"Only if they wanted it as well." Jasper said. "If he loves you, he won't care if he becomes a monster like us. Jacob is a monster in his own right anyways isn't he?"


Jacob's View

My paws left giant gashes in the frozen dirt as I chased a herd of deer through the woods. There was a large buck that had my mouth watering and I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into it.

I jumped over a group of fallen trees, and my claws dug into the buck's back and I knocked him to the ground, sinking my teeth into its neck and biting until I heard the snap.

"Stop now pup."

I released my bite on the buck's neck and it vanished. I growled looking at my wolf sitting across from me. "That's starting to get annoying."

"These are tests, they aren't supposed to be fun." My wolf sat and I did as well.

"What was the point of having me hunt if not to eat? I don't kill for no reason." I said.

"Yes, which is good. Killing for the sake of killing is not the way to live." My wolf said.

"I already knew that." I growled. "I grew up knowing that."

"Sometimes, the simple truth is the most needed." My wolf said.

"You're starting to annoy me Old man." I growled and my wolf chuckled and laid down. "Does everyone go through things this stupid?"

"Learning about yourself, learning why the spirits and gods fated you with your life is not stupid pup. It is important, most of all to someone like you."

"Someone like me?" I asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You never learn do you? You've been told what you are. Sam told you, I told you. Plus you already know."

I sighed laying down as well, resting my head on my front paws. I growled, rolled my eyes and huffed. "I'm to tired for this." I said.

"You must learn this all before you can return."

"I know, I know. You've told me a million times." I said closing my eyes. "But I can't get myself to care right now. I don't want to be something special. I am just Jacob."

"Pup, you cannot fight it." My wolf said. "So do not try to."


End of Chapter Nine

A journey, like the one Jacob is going on, is supposed to test a person in every way possible; physically, mentally, spiritually. It's to make you see your flaws and better yourself. You learn about who you are, what you are, what you're going to be, and why. It's supposed to be challenging and long, and can take anywhere from weeks to months, sometimes years even.

There will be more in the next chapter, thanks for reading.

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