SO Sorry for the delay wonderful readers... Its been hectic lately. Please read and review if you read. Here is the next chapter and i am continuing to work. :)
Again so, so, so, so sorry for the delay.
Disclaimer: NCIS characters are not mine.. They belong to their owner, I am just playing. :) I'll put them back when I'm done.
LOTD
Abby watched as the smaller boat pulled up alongside the Within Temptation. She had done a lot of thinking while Ziva had been gone. She rocked from the balls of her feet to the heels of her feet and waited. Ziva climbed the ladder and a huge smile broke out over Abby's features.
"Ziva!"
Ziva crinkled her forehead and cocked her head in confusion.
"Abigail?"
Director Shepard stepped forward and interrupted the moment.
"Ah Agent David, good to see the recovery was a success. Agent Gibbs, welcome back."
"Thank you Director Sheppard. Come we need to debrief."
Ziva nodded and several of them headed to the captains quarters. After a brief meeting Ziva gathered her things and went to a smaller room. She then showered and got the smell of the sea off of her. Her phone dinged and she checked her text messages.
Hey Sexy, Just wanted to remind you I'm thinking of you. Can we go out on Saturday for the day? Just the two of us? I want time with you before we head to work on Monday.
Ziva smiled and hit reply.
Hey baby, Yeah I would love that. What do you have in mind?
It's a surprise.
Ziva laughed.
What are you doing now?
Sitting behind a jet pilot . I'll be back before you will.
No Surprise there. We'll be into the docks tomorrow.
Damn that's a fast boat. If I really was a pirate…
Uh huh, if you were really a pirate. You'd throw me over your shoulder.
Hey Baby, I've done that before.. don't you remember?
Yes.. I remember, we were on a beach in Thailand and you threw me over your shoulder for some silly comment and threw me in the ocean. Stop laughing.
HAhAHA you know me to well. How can I stop laughing when it was so damn funny. Stop growling…. Bear.
It wasn't funny brat.
You insinuated that I was not good in bed.
That's not what I said at all. I simply said that I felt it was unfair that I had given you 3 orgasms and I had one.
Blame yourself. You were the one that made me turn into Jelly.
Yeah yeah. Keep telling yourself that.
I miss you.
I miss you too Baby.
Are you sure this is what you want Ziva? I can let you go to pursue Abby.
I am afraid that boat has sailed. Jill I can't honestly say that I am over her or shes over me. I can say that I am in a relationship and I will keep my eyes there. I'm not a cheater. You're my gf and I am with you. I will be her friend unless you are uncomfortable.
Z, honey, I don't expect you to just get over it, I don't expect it to just be water under the bridge, cause it won't be. I am fine with you being her friend, in fact I would encourage it. I don't think you'd cheat, not at all, I'm not worried about it. I'm worried about your heart. Worried that you'll struggle with us because of her, that part bothers me. Have you asked her why shes not reciprocal or at least not willing to pursue this?
She won't tell me. Our last conversation was something about me being a fairytale, Something about us never being able to be. I don't know Jill.
Ask her Ziva, when you two talk next, sit and talk to her about it. Ask her the hard questions and hope she'll open up.
I will work on that.
Sleep well Z.
You too J.
The next afternoon found Ziva walking out of her quarters. Abby was outside her door and Ziva nearly knocked her over. No words passed between them for several moments where Abby saw all she needed too. Ziva sighed dropped her bag stepping forward opening her arms out to Abby. Abby eagerly moved to them.
"I'll always love you Abigail, but until you can face whatever it is, I can't be apart of this. I've needed to move on for a long time, just didn't have the courage to. She made me happy, and I miss that happy. I have a shot with her and I'm taking it. I'll always be here as your friend. Always here to listen and to love you as that, but no more I'm sorry."
Abby nodded fisting Ziva's shirt in her hands and crying, the strong arms wrapped around her and Ziva kissed her gently on the forehead. Ziva pulled away her own eyes misting.
"Lets set a coffee date soon ok?"
Abby nodded as Ziva pulled away and headed on deck. She sighed as she took a deep breath of sea air and tears formed in her eyes. Lana came along side her.
"You look ready to bolt."
Ziva wiped her eyes then turned to her.
"Yeah I love you guys but I need to get back on land. I miss the feel of the road beneath my motorcycle tires."
Lana stared out to sea for a moment before taking a deep breath.
"She'd hate me if she knew I was telling you this, but shes in love with you Ziva."
Ziva's face hardened.
"Yeah that's why the whole ship heard you screaming her name last night."
Lana blushed and sputtered.
"You're dating Jillian who do you care? I'm a substitute for you Ziva."
"I don't need a backup Lana, its clear you are in love with her. Maybe you should go on that instinct."
Lana scoffed and started to walk away before turning back briefly.
"You know Ziva, the only reasons she fucks me is because she wants you. She screams your name out when she comes, not mine."
Ziva visibly flinched and Lana sighed and walked back. Ziva spoke quietly.
"She made her position clear Lana. I've tried since I got back and all I've gotten is a cold shoulder. She told me I was a fairy tale. That It wasn't her it was me. How am I supposed to take that? When Jillian and I were together, I was happy for the first time in my life. I wanted that with Abby, but its not possible. She won't tell me why, I can't work with what I don't know. So, with the last round I just let go, gave up, if and when she's ever ready if I'm single I'll consider it, but until then she made her choice. She'll always be apart of me, but she made her bed. I want happy and in case you haven't noticed Jillian is drop dead gorgeous, she's funny and for a long time she was my happy. I want that again." Lana squeezed her shoulder softly, torn between her friend and her lover. Ziva turned and met her gaze. "Besides I wouldn't want anyone else screaming her name, you're good for her."
Lana chuckled softly.
"I'll never be you Z."
"You don't have to be. Just be yourself Lana, you're an amazing woman, just be yourself."
"Check. I can try."
Ziva smirked.
"Besides if Abby doesn't want it, I'm pretty sure Director Shepard was eyeing your toned ass more often than not. That might be a shot worth taking too."
Lana laughed and hugged her.
"Don't be a stranger. We've arrived, have a nice day."
Ziva returned the embrace then getting on her motorcycle she revved the engine. She peeled away from the boat and took a ride up the coast. Nadia Ali's "Fantasy" pounding through her head as the tire of her bike pulled forward burning the road underneath its grasp. Tears streaked down her face as she stopped the bike pulled off her helmet and parked her bike. The cliff loomed out before her, the blue of the sea sparkling as if it held the secrets of the world. The lonely road stretched out behind her and Ziva growled pacing back and forth, the dirt crunching under her feet as she tried to contain her emotions. The Within Temptation had pulled back out to sea and Ziva found anger boiling within her.
"WHY Abigail? Why am I just a fantasy? Why am I something you don't want? Why am I something you'd never fight for? Why couldn't we have happily ever after for this moment? I wasn't asking for everything I wanted however long you'd give me. Why?" Her knees hit the ground as she let her heart go, let her dreams for Abby go and it hurt. It felt like someone was tearing out part of her heart. Her voice cracked as her tears wracked her body. Her voice filed the empty road as she whispered the words. "So stay away from me, you're better off to stay as far from loving me. Just stay a fantasy in the dark and in the night and in my dreams. With the timing right it could be paradise, to do this now would not be right. So stay away from me, stay away from me."
Ziva shifted to sitting normally and watched as the sunset pushed the boat into the horizon and it faded with the sunset, taking with it her dreams, her heart and her fantasy.
Setting her jaw Ziva stood and brushed off her jeans and knowing she needed to change and go meet Jillian. Her heart felt lighter knowing she'd finally let go. It was always a process, but she needed to move on. She revved her Kawasaki and drove to her apartment.
Jillian heard Ziva's bike pull up into the driveway, heard the garage door open and close as Ziva came in.
As Ziva walked into the house she crinkled her brow and immediately pulled her gun. Jillian smirked nad stepped out from the shadows.
"Come on Baby, do you think someone intruding your house would cook you dinner, light candles and put roses on the table? "
Ziva smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"You never know."
Jillian smiled again drawing Ziva into her arms.
"What's up?"
"Just letting go."
"Take as much time as you need baby sometimes its hard to let go of someone we loved, but its better to move on. Sometimes love is in the right place, but at the wrong time."
Ziva smiled and kissed Jillian softly.
"I know. I hate it, it feels like someone punched me in the gut, and I find myself frusterated that I let it go on so long. "
Jillian laughed softly.
"Times and places. Times and places."
