One Week Later
You are now Special Agent Natara Williams
You shiver slightly as the cold morning air grabs at your still-healing skin.
'Idiot' you think 'Too stupid to even think to grab a jacket'.
Of course you didn't even think it could be cold outside. You haven't given anything much thought lately. You're still recovering from your injuries, still rather broken. Still taking medicine that you think is for the pain after getting skin grafts, but you no longer care what they're for anymore. All you know is they make your mind numb, making emotions dull and unimportant. For this reason you don't know how you feel about Shawn's death, or how you feel about Jenna being reunited with her mother. It almost seems that you simply don't care anymore. Cold wet grass stings your ankles as you walk past a high stone arch, past a metal fence. You grapple with the hinge on the gate for a moment before it opens, as if your very hands were replaced by ones that were not your own. As if you don't know how to work these new hands. Slowly, you make your way down the stone path, your feet squishing from the wet grass in the sandals you slipped on that morning. You know your destination, but you feel alien and out of place as you walk to the small and thin block of marble embedded in the earth. One of the many sights that you know should evoke some sort of emotion, but doesn't.
"Thought I'd find you here" a voice says. You nearly jump out of your skin, whipping around to the source. You find yourself staring straight into Mal's face, which, like yours, is partially devoid of emotion. You say nothing, which had become the norm for you since you woke up. You can't even count the amount of words you've uttered in the past week on one hand, for you can't remember saying anything.
"You okay?" Mal asks.
You nod, tempted to finally break your silence. You find yourself unable to, as if your mouth has forgotten how to form words.
Mal stands with you for a moment, both of you trapped in silence. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you say
"He saved my life". Your voice cracks slightly from under-use, but Mal given you a small smile know he is happy that you found your voice again.
"He did" Mal confirms, as if you had asked a question "Because he wanted you to live. Don't waste it, don't stop living".
For a second you want to retort that you can't prevent your heart from beating, or your lungs from pumping. That your body would not obey if you tried to stop any of these involuntary functions. But then you understand what he means, that Shawn gave you life. That his last act was to save you, and Jenna and Mal. That he had nothing left to give. That his end, however painful, was in it's own way, perfect.
