A/N: iheart: Happy New Year, everyone who is still reading this! Personally, I think I did pretty well with this one. Though I did insert a bit of randomness that Raven wrote months ago, but it's pretty small and I don't think anyone will be able to find it. Oh, and Raven, you know you so totally love that song now, so nya!

Disclaimer: We don't own anything from The Chronicles of Narnia, The Simpsons, Finding Nemo, Naruto: The Abridged Series, Okami, Monty Python, or any of the crap that's playing on Bravo these days. Seriously, the only decent thing on there is West Wing reruns.


So anyway, there was a deleted scene on the Prince Caspian DVD, but it didn't really specify where it took place so I'll just assume it's around here. The four siblings and Peter Dinklage were wandering around in the woods when a cluster of poorly computer generated leaves started to rise up from the ground and swirl around a large white ball attached to a stick held by someone off camera. The five of them stared at this for a while when the leaves decided to explode for no adequately explored reason.

"Well that was weird and pointless," commented Susan.

The five of them skipped off merrily until they reached a rocky area, which Edmund and Peter abruptly slammed into. The two sisters laughed maniacally as their brothers wiped the blood off their cracked skulls while Peter Dinklage attempted to ignore their existence. They walked around for a bit before Susan finally spoke up.

"I don't remember this way."

"That's the problem with people with vaginas," said Peter, sneering at her. "You can't carry a map in your heads," he went on, slipping his hand through the crack in his skull to pull out a map of the Narnia they once knew.

"…Have you kept that map there this whole time?"

"Yep! And it didn't even cost me any brain dama-dama-dama-dama-dama-dama-dama-damage," said Peter, his head jerking weirdly. Peter Dinklage gaped at him and pondered asking if he was all right, but as his siblings seemed entirely unconcerned, he decided this must be normal.

"I wish he'd just listen to the E.S.M.M.P.P.P. in the first place," Susan complained to her sister.

"E.S.M.M.P.P.P.?" questioned Edmund.

"Extremely Small Minute Midget Petite Pipsqueak Person," explained Lucy.

"One day, I will kill all of you," said Peter Dinklage, glaring at the sisters while Edmund laughed his ass off. "It will be slow and painful."

"Yay!" cheered Lucy. "That's the best kind of death there is!"

"…I hate you."

They came to a cave with about thirty-seven openings. Peter stared around at each one.

"I'm not lost!" he insisted, stamping his foot on the ground and flailing his arms around.

"No, you're just going the completely wrong way and have no idea where we are," said Peter Dinklage.

"I told you to ask that humpback whale we saw in that tree earlier for directions," said Susan.

"I don't need directions!" her elder brother insisted.

"What is it with men and asking for directions?" she asked.

"Well, we're forced into certain gender roles from a very young age," Lucy explained. "Women are supposed to appear helpless, so we are encouraged to ask for help whenever possible. Men, however, are expected to do everything on their own, so they are taught to ask for help less or not at all. Conditioning for this kind of behavior can begin as early as infancy. Mothers are actually more likely to ignore their infants' cries if they're male than if they're female."

"Wow, that actually explains a lot," said Susan.

"Yeah, but when the hell did you get a college education in psychology?" asked Edmund. "You're like ten and almost as dumb as Peter!"

Peter would have commented, but he had found a shiny rock and was currently caressing it fondly and naming it George.

"I was taking night classes were you were on vacation," Lucy told Edmund.

"I went on vacation?"

"Yes, don't you remember? It was at the island of SHUT THE HELL UP!" she screeched, kicking Edmund in his happy place and sending him keeling over in pain. His siblings laughed appreciatively.

"Yeah, that's great, can we get back to the matter at hand, please?" begged Peter Dinklage.

"Why?" asked Peter. "What's the matter with your hand?"

Everyone groaned while Peter guffawed at his sick, sick pun. Lucy became so enraged that she pulled out her beloved chainsaw from her sock and proceeded to hack her eldest brother's limbs off.

"I never thought he'd sink that low," muttered Susan, massaging her forehead as blood and body parts flew everywhere.

"Uh-huh, anyway we're a third of the way through the movie and we still haven't met up with the rest of the cast yet!" shrieked the E.S.M.M.P.P.P. "Can we please get a move on some time before the next Narnia movie comes out?"

Aw, Ichigo is working off his little tuckus! Oh snap, Ulquiorra is NUMBER FOUR!! Yon-ban desu! Ooh…aww Ulquiorra's tickling Ichigo's heart! How cute!! Haha I hear Ichigo's voice and I picture his voice actor kicking ass on the wii… Ichigo just crashed through like 8 pillars and there is no body damage! Wow. Did I mention that he is definitely 15? Grimmjow is a puppy! Ichigo is a stinky, meanie doo-doo face!! Don't die Ichigo, or my eyes will ASPLODE WITH JELLO!!! See, they're watering!!! These hoses really do come in handy sometimes… Grimmjow has a King Complex!! Like Elvis!! Did you notice the orchestral version of Number 1 in the beginning? WHAT THE HELL?? Wait, who's Chad again? GO RUKIA!! Oh…that's gotta hurt, what with the impalement and all… This just goes to show that if you have the right amount of determination, you can defeat any psychotic dog man with bones on their face with your magical sword and flowing cape of death. Ah, thank god this show has a moral! DID I MENTION THAT THEY CAN FLY AND WALK ON AIR???? Why is the episode focusing on just Ichigo when Rukia is still fuckin' skewered?? Uh, there's a slight problem there! AHAHAAHA Nel got him where it hurts, LMFAO!! Grimmjow: don't worry about me…I've only lost all my blood! I'm still fine! Actually, he should be fine considering that Ichigo survived getting punched through the heart for Christ's sake! My teeth don't move, but words come out!! Wow, and I thought Kishi-sensei was crazy. What has Tite drawn? What, are this guy's shoes curved like a frickin' fairy's??? SSSAAAAAAASSSUKKEEE!!! Or…his voice… Aww, Pinky looks even more cute now! Love how the plushies got some psychedelic screen time near the end…hilarious! Definitely like the ending better than the opening. Aqua Timez and its nasally voice is pushing it for me… The ending is from a band I'm positive we've heard before too, so yeah… Aww, poor Kon gets no airtime. Go…what's his name? The one voiced by Murata? Uhhh…Hana…Shabadaba??

"You said you saw Caspian at the Woods That Can Somehow Shudder For Some Reason," said Peter, "and the slowest way there is to cross at the River That Miraculously Rushes."

"Yeah, we can't really get there from here, Ass-Monkey."

"That's a weird phrase," commented Edmund.

"I know, I'm not quite sure where I got it from," confessed Peter Dinklage.

"You're lying!" Peter insisted, determined to be right and not realizing that landscapes can change if left to themselves for a good thousand years or more. They're all kind of retarded like that. You think they'd have learnt about erosion by now. What do they teach in schools these days?

They continued onwards until they reached a gorge. The river was rushing (HA!) down between the two cliff faces. And for some reason it was green. That can't be very healthy for the various plant and animal life. As they stared down the 3,287,534,098,479 foot drop, Susan went over to Peter.

"You see, over time, nuclear waste can dissolve everything in its path, carving deeper—"

"Oh shut up," Peter cut her off.

"Is there a way down?" asked Edmund.

"Yeah. A running jump to our deaths," said Peter Dinklage.

"Then what are we waiting for?" cried Lucy excitedly, starting to run forward, but Susan grabbed her by the back of her dress and dragged her back.

"Well, we weren't lost!" Peter cheered, doing a victory dance and farting in Peter Dinklage's general direction.

"There's a ford near the Bermuda Triangle," said the puppy-dog man. "How do you feel about swimming?"

"I'd rather that than walking, even though our dresses and their swords will only serve to weigh us down and make it much harder in the long run," Susan pointed out. "Seriously, why are we even wearing dresses? We're walking through a forest for Aslan's sake, they should be full of rips and tears by now!"

"Speaking of Aslan, there's a kitty over there!" cried Lucy, pointing to the other side of the gorge. "I wants to pet it!" The other four turned to look, but they saw nothing but trees.

"Lucy, there's no kitty," said Susan slowly.

"What are you talking about? It's right…there," she trailed off, staring at the opposite side where she could now only see the trees as they attempted to throw their giant red evil fruit of death at the five of them. Okami is seriously an underappreciated game.

"Do you see it now?" asked Peter Dinklage skeptically.

"I'm not crazy," muttered Lucy in a monotone, before laughing maniacally. Her siblings and their companion backed away slowly. "There was a kitty! I demand that we go over there and pet it!"

"We're not going to cross a 3,287,534,098,479 foot gap to go and pet a kitty that doesn't exist," said Susan patiently. "Now if you'd have seen Aslan—"

"—we'd completely disbelieve you and think you're more insane than we'd originally thought because we'd all be secretly jealous that we didn't see him," finished Peter. "Then Edmund would try to take your side, just to prevent himself looking like an asshole like in the last movie rather than actually believing you."

"Yeah, I think I'd know Aslan when I see him," Lucy admitted.

"I wouldn't agree with Lucy just to seem nicer!" said Edmund unconvincingly. "I'd want to pet the kitty too! Honest!"

"Yeah, but why wouldn't we have seen it?" asked Peter logically.

"Hmm, that's a good point. I mean there's no way it could have RUN AWAY WHEN WE STARTED YELLING!" shouted Lucy, smacking Peter's head and sending it flying down the cliff. Thankfully, it sprouted wings and reattached itself. No one questioned Disney's mysterious powers.

"Yeah, we're gonna leave now," said Peter Dinklage, extremely disturbed by the freaks he'd run into. Once the Real Housewives of New Jersey had finally left, he motioned for the Pevensies to follow him away from the gorge. Lucy took one last look at the spot where she could have sworn she'd seen a very deformed black-and-purple kitty covered in potato peelings before Edmund grabbed her ankles and dragged her away, kicking and screaming.


A/N: It's so much easier to write for the siblings than for Caspian, I think we established their characters in the prequel so well that I know exactly what they would do given any random situation.

Oh yeah, please review! They make me feel like my life has meaning! Sadly I'm not joking…