"Why would people do that?" Mello asked me, wide eyed. I was sure he would be scarred for life. "I mean... me and Matt? He's my friend, not my gay lover! That's just wrong! Who would think of that?" Mello was completely hysterical and there was nothing any of us could do to calm him down. It was a surprise that he wasn't yet sitting in a corner rocking. It wouldn't have been so bad if the safety settings had been on...

L was looking at the laptop curiously. I knew he wanted to google himself now, but there was no way I would let him. If he saw all of the Light X L yaoi he might just have a mental breakdown and turn into a brand new Beyond Birthday... though that would be very interesting to see, I'm sure it would not be very much fun to live. Or die, rather. But still... various fandoms did eventually turn you to like BB. Plus I completely loved him in Another Note. Maybe that's just because of his similarities to L.

I swear there must be something wrong with me.

I grabbed two bars of chocolate I had dropped on the floor and threw them in Mello's general direction, taking the cake with me. Yawning, I flopped down onto my bed beside L who had moved there sometime during Mello's yelling. He didn't seem to even notice, too caught up in his thoughts and chewing his thumb.

"I even saw me with Near... Near, that big-headed..." whimpered Mello going off into yet another long rant. I rolled my eyes and looked over at him.

"Oh come on Mello, it could have been worse. Trust me," I told him, thinking of L and Light. I pushed a slice of cake towards L, who suddenly seemed to wake up from his musings, still holding his serious expression, but taking the cake agreeably.

"Shut up! There is no way you can know what this is like. People like you make this stuff!" bellowed Mello, glaring at me. I rose to my feet, far from being on level height with him, but feeling the extra height helped at least slightly.

"People like me? At least I am not Willy freaking Wonka!" I screeched, turning on my heel and storming out of my room, slamming the door behind me. I swear it was one of Mello's special talents to make me angry so quickly. Or perhaps I was just running on high tension at the moment, considering I had fictional characters in my house that needed to get home. One of those being someone I had a fangirl crush on. I could hear Mello behind the door, asking the others who Willy Wonka was. Maybe I should just jump L and be over with it.. I wonder what his reaction would be if he was stormed by fangirls. Surely someone who got so little social interaction would totally panic.

It was an amusing image.

I chuckled to myself and proceeded to go downstairs in search of a hot chocolate... or six. I could not live without the stuff... or I could but it would be a dreary, Mu-like existence. As I creaked down the stairs, musing over what L's reactions would be to various, likely-to-be-traumatising things, I noticed someone slip into the dining room. I wondered for a second whether it was an intruder, but then dismissed it as a cleaner or maid. They were often wandering around the house, avoiding me and my weird, loud ways. It wasn't abnormal for people to think I was weird. You would be too if you had practically been raised on anime and manga.

I skipped into the kitchen, feeling in a lighter mood after my random shouts at Mello. He was very good for stress relief, I'd give him that... though he did remind me of a woman pms-ing. Maybe that's what all of the chocolate was about... and the hair... Was I onto something here? I laughed, shaking my head at my own absent ramblings. Maybe that's why I didn't notice anything until two hands snaked around my mouth and throat.

I froze for a moment, no inklings of a suitable reaction entering my brain. Then instinct kicked in and I gathered my breath to let out the loudest scream I could muster. The grip around my throat tightened and the hand holding my mouth shoved two fingers inside, halting any sounds that were to be made and making me gag. I tried to gasp in air, almost suffocating in my captors death grip. What could I do? If only I could alert L somehow, I'm sure he could come down and kick whoever had a hold of me in the face, just like he did to Light. I mentally slapped myself, did I ever stop thinking of anime? Even in life or death situations? I guess not.

"All right, I want you to listen," said a voice I vaguely recognised... He had an accent, but only a slight one.. I wasn't quite able to pinpoint what it was. I looked around wildly, desperately trying to think of some way of making noise.

"You are going to do exactly as I say or else I will kill you," spat the person still holding me. There was a distinctive edge in his voice, that I could only describe as insanity. He almost hissed each word.

"When I say," continued who I was now thinking of as The Maniac Who Is Going To Kill Me Before I Even Get To Finish Watching Naruto, "You will calmly walk upstairs and- NO YOU DON'T!" hissed the maniac, as I tried to kick the kitchen cabinet. He pulled me back and wrapping his arm around my neck, cutting off all hope of breathing. I started to feeling nauseous and dizzy as I flailed myself around in an attempt to make noise to alert someone. Finally I heard a loud bang as my struggling forced the person holding me into the table. It would definitely be loud enough for the others upstairs to hear, but would they figure out something was wrong? Or would they just think I was being a clutz? Maybe they would... maybe they... would... it was getting foggy. The room was too bright and I just wanted to lay down and sleep...

NO! I thought furiously, forcing myself to stay conscious. I felt like I was going to puke. Surely the greatest detective who ever lived could figure out something was wrong... I hoped he would soon, I wasn't sure I could stay conscious without breathing for much longer.

I thought of L... how he had always looked so worried since I had met him. Watari, how he seemed to be the rock in this situation for L. Mello, who always ate his chocolate very dramatically. I had enjoyed doing that on more than one occasion.

Suddenly I could breathe again, and my lungs drew in breath like they hadn't had it in centuries, rather than just seconds. I chocked slightly on a liquid running down my throat. Then I tasted it. Blood. My senses gathered themselves up, instantly moving to defence as I spun away from the person who had been holding me moments before, backing up against the counter.

First I realised he was screaming in pain, next that his hand was bleeding. I must have bitten him. Inhumanly hard judging by the blood. Damn, who would have known thinking of Mello eating chocolate would have saved my life? I was amazed my survival instinct connected to my absent foggy thoughts. At least something was right in my head.

The person cursing and holding his hand in pain was brunette, young and completely out of his mind. Or at least that's what I got at first glance. On my second glance I noticed something far more significant. He was-

"Light Yagami," L half gasped, half growled, stopping at the doorway of the kitchen. He glanced at me momentarily, a worry in his eyes that made my heart squeeze, but then he was moving towards Light, knocking him down and pinning him to the ground, his legs straddling Light's waist.

My cheeks felt hot.

L hunched even further over so that he could be right in Lights face. I thought he was going to say something, but instead he just examined him. L sighed and looked up at me, an icy calm in his gaze.

"You are safe," said L, more as a statement than a question, but I nodded anyway. "Do you think you could get Watari for me?" he asked, a sigh in the tip of his voice. I didn't react other than to make my way upstairs to my room, where I was sure Watari still was.

"What the hell happened to you?" asked Mello as I came into the room.

"Oh you know, got attacked, almost suffocated, the usual," I sang, rolling my eyes, a peculiar mood spreading over me.

"Huh. Sounds like a normal day to me," Mello replied, making me snort.

"Watari. L needs you. It seems Light has found his way to my house," I informed him, making my way back downstairs again, almost on a complete autopilot. I was pretty sure I was in shock. Either that or the lack of oxygen had killed off most of my brain. I didn't even bother to hurry as Mello rushed down the stairs past me and Watari followed silently behind. I didn't even care what they were doing. I really had no idea what to do or think any more, so I decided to just not think.

As I entered the kitchen, Light was struggling on the floor below L, who was holding him firmly, obviously very skilled in this. Figures.

"So it really is you this time," growled Light, his face pressed to the floor. "I've already followed two stupid girls who dressed as you. What the hell are you planning... how are you alive?" he asked, but I jumped in before L could reply.

"Well I'm sure those girls are dead somewhere from fangirl overload... unless you decided to kill them yourself," I said drily, not really thinking about my words but knowing distantly there was something disturbing and possibly true about them.

"Respect your god you filthy lowlife!" screeched Light. He was obviously not over the insanity of his death scene.

"Yeah. I'll throw you a party. Let me get the potato chips! Why don't I get the jam and invite Beyond too?" I muttered, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I knew I should be reacting differently. Hysterics would have made more sense, but I didn't see the point any more. I was tired and thoroughly confused, which made my brain react defensively. It just so happened my defence was sarcasm, back chat and an odd calm.

"I will kill you," he snarled. L twisted the arm he was holding down and Light cried out in pain. It gave me a sadistic satisfaction.

"Perhaps you should go and sleep, Persephone, you seem to behaving oddly," suggested Watari quietly. I turned briefly to him, raising an eyebrow, before shrugging and making my way upstairs feeling very idiosyncratic.

"What should I do with him, Watari?" I heard L ask as I left the room.

"We'll just have to lock him somewhere until we can think of something," I heard Watari reply helplessly.

"I hate having so little knowledge and control. But it seems justice has pulled through again. We may yet arrest Kira," L chuckled darkly. Then the remaining conversation was drowned out as Light started cursing and writhing again, and I got too far away. I headed straight for my room and fell almost instantly into a dark, riddled sleep.