Chapter 9

A/N: The last chapter was AWFUL to write...I finished it at 11:00 pm and had heart palpitations. I hesitated until the end to decide if I wrote it from Gareth's or Elaine's POV... I'm not really glad with this chapter, but let's just say I'm keeping my strength for later :) On with the story!


The rain was falling on the lake.

The sight of the raindrops splashing and rebounding on the water would have meant nothing to most people, but to Merlin it meant the revival of one of the saddest and most painful memories in his life. For it had also rained the day Freya had died.

For an hour he had run in the forest, calling Gareth and Elaine, trying desperately to find them. He had walked out of pure instinct. He had no idea where he was going, and his feet had taken him to the lake that had become Freya's last place –and, later, Lancelot's.

He was about to look down at the lake when suddenly, his voice was filled with the confused, mixed echoes of a voice that didn't belong to him.

Morgana! –I'm coming–Emrys-Morgana!–he's here–he's in Camelot-

Merlin is Emrys!

Merlin stopped dead as the last voice ringed in his head. The voice was Mordred's. And he had just said that Merlin was Emrys.

A nasty feeling crept in Merlin's back. He ran away from the lake and walked further into the forest. He needed to focus, to concentrate, to bring back the conversation that had taken place. And then Morgana's voice was filling his mind too, in addition to Mordred's.

I have to see you at once–what does she want? What's so urgent?–Emrys–he's coming for me –Emrys-he attacked me–he has two other people with him–we have to kill him–he's in Camelot–Emrys is in Camelot-

Merlin is Emrys.

Merlin remained where he was, struck with horror. Morgana knew. At last, Mordred had told Morgana the one secret he hadn't been able to tell her. Morgana knew he was a warlock. Worse, she knew he was the very warlock destined to be her doom, the one that was protecting Arthur from the shadows and ruined her plans.

Merlin spun around and started to run.


"Gaius! She knows!"

Gaius almost dropped his books when Merlin came barging in, panting.

"What are you talking about?"

"She knows", Merlin repeated desperately, closing the door behind him and sitting in front of his guardian. "Morgana knows I'm Emrys."

Gaius's eyes rounded. "Are you sure?"

"Definitely. I heard voices and I'm sure Mordred told her."

Gaius's eyes were full of concern. He closed his book.

"But if she knows you're Emrys, and that Gareth and Elaine are with you-"

Before he finished his sentence, the door opened on Arthur.

"Ah", he said at the sight of Merlin, and a nasty grin spread on his face. "Merlin."

Merlin stood up and tried to give Arthur a little smile. He probably looked more worried than anything else because Arthur's grin grew wider.

"So", he said. "I make an announcement this morning, in front of the whole of the Camelot, and who's missing? My manservant!"

"Err–yeah, I suppose you could say that", Merlin replied.

"So where have you been?" Arthur asked, with a Let's-see-you-get-out-of-this-one expression.

"I've been…picking herbs", Merlin quickly answered, remembering just in time the excuse he'd made up before leaving.

"For two hours?"

"I wasn't gone for that long."

Arthur just waited.

"Well, I…went a little far in the forest, and er…got lost on the way back", Merlin said, making up very fast.

For a moment Arthur just stared at him in disbelief, and Merlin thought he was going to burst out laughing, but he just let out a little laugh before saying, "Well, some things don't change. You really are a complete idiot sometimes, aren't you, Merlin?"

"Yeah, but the rest of the time…", Merlin mumbled, but Arthur wasn't listening.

"Well, after getting lost, I'm sure polishing my boots will help you feel safer", the King teased him, and he walked out of the room.

Merlin and Gaius waited until the sounds of Arthur's steps had died away, and then went back to business.

"I really must find Gareth and Elaine", Merlin muttered quickly. "If Morgana knows they're with me, it could have been she who kidnapped them."

Gaius nodded. Merlin had never seen him so concerned, but he understood, for he was on the edge of worrying too.

But as he walked in Camelot's corridor, heading for the stables, he almost bumped into a young knight.

He was about to say sorry when he realized it was Mordred.

The two men just stared at each other, in the middle of the corridor. Then he heard Mordred's mocking voice in his mind.

You are good at hiding, Emrys. But not good enough.

Merlin's jaw clenched as he felt a rush of anger.

Traitor.

Mordred smiled.

You betrayed me first, Emrys. You tried to kill your own kind. The smile vanished, replaced by a shade of hate. You tried to kill me. I thought you were my friend.

I am not your friend, Merlin replied, struggling to stop his mental voice from shaking with anger.

I am your kind. Mordred's eyes flashed with anger. We are the same.

No. Merlin had never been so confident about what he was saying. We are different. I will never be like you.

Slowly, the sly smile made its way back on Mordred's thin lips. So be it, Emrys.

He spat the last word with such hatred Merlin almost thought he was going to attack him. But the young man merely walked past Merlin and away in the corridor.

The young warlock looked at him. He knew he could handle Mordred, but the way the innocent little boy had turned into a cold, full of hatred young man somehow scared him.

But he didn't have time to worry about that. He had to find Gareth and Elaine.

After smuggling a horse in the stables, he rode out of Camelot and forgot about his encounter with Mordred as he rode through the forest, calling for Gareth and Elaine.

He searched the Eastern part of the forest for near an hour, but the twins were nowhere to be seen. Despite himself, he found himself heading his horse to the lake of Avalon.

Why did this place hold such an attraction on him? It wasn't exactly full of happy memories, except maybe the time when Freya had handed him the sword. Why? Why did he feel like this place held the answers to the questions that had bothered him since the twins' arrival?

He cast the lake one last look, thinking once again of Freya, her sweet, brown eyes, her gentle smile, the way her cheeks flushed in the dim light of the candles when he was being kind to her, and the memories were more vivid than ever…

He shook his head. He wasn't here to think about Freya. He was looking for Gareth and Elaine.

But after most searching and searching, he had to resign: the twins were nowhere to be seen. He hated to give up this way, he didn't want to, but he had no choice; he had been out for more than an hour now, and Arthur would soon become suspicious.

Hating himself, and feeling more depressed than he ever had in his life, he turned around and rode back to Camelot.


Gwen had a servant, now that she was Queen, but having been a servant herself, she wouldn't dream of letting another girl do everything for her. The serving girl had protested, insisted that it was her job, but Gwen wouldn't hear a word. They had finally come to some kind of an agreement, in which the serving girl did half the work –more, in fact, but Gwen didn't manage to convince her- and the Queen did the other half.

This is the reason why Gwen was making her bed and folding one or two clothes that lay forgotten on a chair when someone knocked on the door and came in.

Gwen turned around, expecting one of the knights, but it was Mordred.

"Mordred!" she said, surprised, but pleased to see him. "How are you?"

The piercing, water-like eyes swept past the room, then went back on Gwen. He bowed his head.

"Milady."

She smiled. "You can call me Gwen", she said. "My God, you've grown so much!"

"And you've grown more beautiful", Mordred replied with something that could have been a smile.

Gwen's cheeks turned slightly pink. "Well, thank you. I can't believe you're the little boy I've helped so many years ago-"

"Where is Arthur?" Mordred asked. His voice was very polite but he hadn't waited for Gwen to finish her sentence, which surprised her.

"Well, he's looking for Merlin", Gwen answered, and she couldn't help a little laugh when she remembered how angry her husband had been that the manservant had disappeared.

"Why? Where is he?"

Gwen was a little taken aback by Mordred's abrupt questions.

"Well I–I don't know, that's why Arthur's gone to look for him."

"Has he now?" Mordred muttered, his eyes scrutinizing Gwen as though making sure she wasn't lying. "Very well."

"Err–do you want me to give him a message?" Gwen asked as the young man turned around to leave.

"No, thank you, Milady", he replied.

Gwen nodded and finished arranging the sheets.

"Guinevere?"

She turned around. Mordred was still there, standing in the doorway.

"I wanted to thank you", he said. "I didn't forget about the fact that you helped me when I was hunted down by Uther's men. Without your and Merlin's help, I wouldn't be here." He smiled shyly. "Thank you."

"It was nothing", she replied kindly. "I know what it's like to face execution."

With one last smile, Mordred walked out the room and left Gwen alone.

So Merlin had disappeared.

Mordred considered that as he headed back to his chamber. He hadn't been sure about these "teenagers" Morgana had told him accompanied Emrys. But this made sense; he knew Morgana had kept them captive, and the fact that Emrys was gone proved that she had been right; he was doubtless looking for them.

Mordred!

The voice boomed in his mind. He hadn't expected it. It was the first time Emrys spoke first in a telepathic exchange.

He turned around, but Merlin was nowhere to be seen in the corridor.

Where is Morgana?

Mordred smiled. As if he was going to tell him.

What do you want with her?

Where is she?

Mordred couldn't remember feeling Emrys so angry.

I am not telling you, Emrys. Why are you so interested in her?

Where are they?

Mordred sniggered.

Who are you talking about?

Don't lie, Mordred. You know what I mean.

Maybe I do. But I do not know where they are. And if I did, I wouldn't tell you.

Liar. You know where they are. Tell me!

That is not of your concern, Emrys.

Emrys's voice was almost radiating with anger when he said:

Oh, but they do concern me. I'll do whatever it takes to protect them.

I am sure.

Emrys cut the connection between their minds. Mordred laughed again.


Sixteen years later

Caelia had never been so glad to wake up and see her brother. Even Gareth's absence seemed a lighter burden to carry, now that she had her brother and her sister back, and an extra survivor. The five of them had spent the night taking turns in watching, and Kay was sitting, his back against a trunk, sword in hand.

"Hi", she said, stretching. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. You?

"I had a good night. Any trouble during the night?"

Kay shook his head and showed the forest with his chin. "Quiet as a tomb in there."

"You know", Caelia said, "Anna and I are going to need weapons."

"I know. I'm not really worried about this. There are blacksmiths in every little town. We'll just steal two of them first place we found."

"And then, we'll be off to Camelot?"

Kay smiled. "I guess so." He looked like a kid getting a present at the only thought of going back to the castle.

"Kay?"

"Yes?"

"Just don't be too-er-rash, all right? I don't want to lose you."

Kay gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry little sister. I'm too handsome to die."

Caelia laughed. "Well, just keep it that way, OK? You're an idiot but you're the only brother I've got."

"Well, you're not the only sister I've got, but if you die, it means I'll have to be alone to bear Lyonora. You wouldn't do that to me, would you, Caelia?"

A branch hit the boy on the back of the head as Lyonora appeared from behind the tree he was sitting against.

"What did you just say about me?"

"Hi, Nora", Caelia said casually. "Did you sleep well?"

Ten minutes later, Lionel and Anna were awaken too, and the five of them sat in a circle.

"The first thing we've got to decide is what our next move should be: rescue Guinevere, or steal Arthur's sword and the magic lance", Kay said.

"Well, without a weapon fit to kill these soldiers, we've got no chance to free Guinevere", Lionel pointed.

"Right. So we all agree that our priority is the weapons?" Everybody nodded. "Good. Now, about these weapons, we need to find a way to get into the castle unnoticed."

"Should we use the passageway that leads to the dungeon?" Anna suggested.

"There will be guards there, to watch the prisoner", Lyonora pointed.

"The one in the armory?" Lionel said. "The lance could be there."

"I don't think so", Caelia said. "That would be too much of a risk for Mordred and Morgana to put it there. They'll be in some special room, if not in their chambers."

"In that case it would be better to use that one behind the castle in the forest", Lionel said. "It's the closest one to Morgana's chambers."

"Very well", Kay said. "Shall we divide into groups or stick together?"

"Stick together", Lyonora immediately said. "There are just five of us, Kay."

"All right. We could be in Camelot in two nights, if we're fast and including the time to steal swords for Caelia and Anna. Does everybody agree to start the journey today?"

They all did.