So sorry about taking so long to update xxx

hope you enjoy the chapter, Dean meets his civilian brother and finds a few more things out about his past XD


Jimmy soon caught up to the speeding Dean that had no idea where he was going though wouldn't admit it. Jimmy guided him down a corridor up a flight of stairs and to a do or that had B5 above small square window. Their journey to this door was silent. It was far from awkward, Dean and Jimmy shared glances and smiles it was every comforting, they seemed to be flirting something very human, that Dean has no doubt Castiel would probably turn his nose up at.

"You ready?"

Jimmy asked Dean, who until this moment he was; suddenly his stomach became infested with 1000's of butterflies and a lump formed in his throat making it impossible to answer. So he jerkily nodded and smiled weakly and falsly, Jimmy reading Dean too well, cupped deans cheeks and the touch brought him back to earth, as he listened to Jimmy's soft lullaby voice with complete trust.

"It's okay, trust me. He'll be happy to see you."

They smiled at each other before Jimmy moved away and opened the door, slowly Dean stood at the entrance. A man in a black suit sat on a plastic chair, tapping the white table with his fingers. He was looking down and did not notice Dean in the door way.

"Hey Sammy."

Dean said in a rough gravely tone through a relieved and loving crocked half smile. Sam's eyes instantly shot up, his eyes lighten and darted up to grabbed his brother in for a hug.

"Dean." He whispered thanking god, he was him and not half him half god damn demon hunter. At least that's what Sam gathered, as by now he was usually telling Sam about an escape plan or something. Sam pulled away and looked at his brother, smiled and slapped him on the arm before taking his seat. "You look tired Dean."

"Thanks Sammy."

"Are you getting enough sleep?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"When I sleep here I wake up there, so I don't know if I've sleep at all lately."

"You're still going to that place then."

Dean nodded he noticed some hostility in Sam's voice and didn't want to pissed him off when he just met him.

"Erm, how's Jessica?"

"She's good yeah."

"Will I get to see her?"

"No."

"Why?"

"She doesn't come anymore, not while she's pregnant anyway, sometimes you would have a bad day and go for her, called her a zombie or ghost even a demon. It was scary for her but she sends are best."

"Oh god I'm so sorry Sammy."

"It's okay I know you can't help it."

"That's no excuse I shouldn't…"

"Dean, its okay, she understands. Jimmy tells me your on new medication, is it working?"

"I'm being tossed from place to place like a yo-yo but head is splitting in half so yeah."

"Sorry."

There was silence between them, it was strange Dean couldn't think of anything to say, usually at this point of the convocation he would call Sam a bitch and the mood would be lighten, but this wasn't Dean's Sammy, this was Sam big time lawyer and family man Sam.

"Sammy?"

"Yeah"

"Was there, as there a fire in your nursery…"

"When I was 6 months old, the night mum died? Yes, dad started it to cover up what he did." There was silence again "by the way, Sammy is a chubby 12 year old, it's Sam."

Dean chuckled, okay so this was part Sammy. Jimmy came in and leaned against the wall, arms crossed with a small hidden smile blessing his face. Dean watched him come in scanning his body, watching the way he moved. Sam looked over to the man and back to Dean.

"How's it going with you two?"

"What?"

Deans eyes widened and his arms and leg tensed, he even began sweating.

"It's okay Dean."

"no its not, nothings…well…I'm not really caught up, but I…"

"Dean, I know. Jimmy was the only one that could calm you down when you had a turn. You two connected."

"Really?"

Sam nodded and Dean smiled to himself, before glancing over a Jimmy, their gaze locked and Dean's lips began buzzing remembering their kiss and desperately wanted more.

Suddenly everything hit him, after all this time it hadn't really hit him before, one world was fake, not real, fabricated. Dean knew he couldn't physically take much more and he couldn't admit his feelings properly to one world in case it wasn't real. And what if he gets stuck in the fake world, what would happen to him? Now Dean was freaking out and he needed to know more about the world he was in now.

"Sammy can you answer some questions about the past? My past."

"Okay."

"Why am I in here and you're not?"

Sam was embarrassed and his eyes screamed guilt and shrugged shyly.

"You were admitted when you were 21 after your first solo kill, but you couldn't do it dad told you it was a werewolf but it wasn't, just as you were about to kill him you saw past the illusion dad created and saw the man instead. I saw, I saw dad make you watch while he finished the job, I knew then it was wrong I got out of it, call the police and made my peace with god."

"Wow, you ratted on dad?"

"Dean he's a murderer…"

"No I know, it just sounds like you."

"what is that supposed to mean?"

"nothing bitch."

"what? Why would you call me a bitch I'm just trying to help…"

"Sam." Jimmy stepped in "in Dean's reality you call each other names like that as a sign of affection."

"Not really affection Cas, more when he's annoying the hell out of me." Dean froze at the hearing himself speak, Sam went red and really felt for the guy, Jimmy felt deflated and sad, simply sad that he was still being compared to an angel, though Dean hadn;t meant to, it seemed to make it worse. "Shit sorry Jimmy, slip of the tongue."

"It's okay Dean." Jimmy then looked at his watch "I have another patient waiting so I'll see you later, bye Sam."

With that Jimmy left the room, Dean watched him leave feeling like shit that he hurt Jimmy, again. "What?" he asked Sam when he looked back to see Sam doing a bitch face, yes he was rather like his Sammy.

"Nothing."

"Sammy."

"He knows that you don't know. You are his only patient."

"What?"

Dean got up to leave but Sam grabbed his wrist urging him to sit back down,

"Please Dean, lets talk I only see you once a week and never like this, it's like I have my big brother back."

"Sam you'll always have me."

The brothers smiled at each other, which caused Dean to clear his throat not wanting anything to sappy to evolve.

"So how's married life treating you?"

"Good, really good in fact. Can't wait to be a dad."

"I'll bet you'll be great at it."

"Well I just have to do the opposite then dad and I should be alright."

"Sam, dad loved us, he did then best he could after that d…" dean had to defend his father so many times to Sammy the argument seemed routine but he stopped himself and remembered the ugly truth. "yeah I see your point. Do you ever, visit him?"

"No." Dean nodded at this answer he hadn't really expected anything different. "before you asked I don't visit Bobby either."

Dean was attacked back by this visit Bobby? Where was he?

"Well at least he'll be happy he got a look in, I swear the guy was disappointed he wasn't part of this world."

"what? Dean don't joke about that son of a bitch."

"Sam, Bobby is like a father to us."

"No, he helped destroy our dad."

"He looked after us Sammy!"

"Yeah when he knew full well what dad was doing, did he stop him? No. He helped train him made him good a butchering people and even helped train us!"

Dean was silent he couldn't speak not at all. Bobby was one of the good guys, Bobby was like a father to him.

"No Sammy, that's not…"

"Dean please! Do not mention that basted's name to me."

"Okay Sammy okay." A very confused Dean reassured his baby brother that was visibly upset and effected to even talk about Bobby. Sam blamed a lot of what happened to his father on Bobby he had the chance to stop it but no he help john, even helped brain wash his children in believing in the supernatural. "Sammy I'm sorry I won't, I wont talk about that stupid son of a bitch again."

This made Sam lips curve and his body relax slightly, though Dean did felt guilty saying that about Bobby. As he has no recollection of this 'evil' bobby just the old hunter in a wheel chair that has saved his neck more times that he can care to count, but it seemed worth it to see his brother smile again.

"Dean? What am I like in your reality?"

"You've never asked me that before?"

"No usually you are telling about the demon you killed, or crying about hell, or trying to convince me to help you escape,"

"Really?"

"But mostly you tell me about the angels."

"I'm really that out of it, huh."

"Not this time Dean, what ever drugs you are taking, don't stop. It's helping you Dean."

"Thanks bro. well anyway you erm…" Dean didn't want to tell his baby brother about the whole physic thing or demon blood addiction and especially not about starting the apocalypse. So thought back to a simpler time and he could help the smile that appeared on his face when he thought about the pranks they used to play on each other. "You're awesome dude, you could kick anyone's butt, accept mine. One of the best hunters out there, accept me."

Sam laughed with his brother and they shared an incredible brother bonding moment with no shouting, no demons, no ghosts, no devil, no ill will for each other and no secrets. Dean missed this he really missed having a brother.

"I missed you baby brother."

"what do you mean, im with you in your reality."

"not like this."

Sam smiled at dean in a confused but thankful way and was about to ask a question when an orderly came in to take Dean away for his med's. The orderly however looked Azazel and Dean instantly leapt from his chair and stood in front of his very civilian brother. Sam stood too and put a hand on his fired up brother's tense shoulder.

"Dean it's time for your meds."

"Get out you son of a bitch."

"Dean." A very worried Sam whispered squeezing his brothers shoulder

"No Sammy! That's the demon that ruined our lives!"

"Dad ruined our lives!"

Dean shook his head and step towards the orderly looked in his eyes whilst Sam trying to pull him away. "come on Dean, there's no such thing as demons, trust me please Dean." Dean stepped back making Sam sigh with relief only for a second as Dean swung and the poor orderly, was floored with one hard punch to the face.

"Help, some body help!"

Sam called and within seconds the room was filled with men in white clothes pulling Dean of the unconscious man and taking the screaming hunter out the room.

"Don't listen to him Sammy! He's the one that infected you that turned you, he started all of this!"

Dean shouted back to his brother, though he instantly regretting letting that information slip, he didn't have chance to apologise as he was dragged back to his room and strapped to the bed.


All but two orderly's left after this and watched as dean struggled and pulled at the restraints. Dr. Weston came in a few moments later, he came and sat on the chair next to Dean's bed.

"Dean, im disappointed at you. We were making stready progress. I thought you were living more in this world. But it seemed the orderly you punched was a trigger and now…"

"Fuck you gab, I want my brother, I want my angel and I want my world!"

"No."

"What?"

"I said no, I'm going to try and keep you awake through this one, maybe it can break the routine your mind has gotten into."

"You're such a ass hole!"

"I know, I know. Now just relax and I'll come back and realise your straps in a few hours when you're calmed down."

With that the doctor left, as the door shut and dean remained in the room he screamed and shouted again and again, none stop for half an hour, only stopping because his throat hurt so bad and realise he was strapped to a bed and had no access to water or booze to wet his whistle, so dean fell silence.

Dean closed his eyes and pictured Bobby's place his library, kitchen, living room every little detail, he pictured Cas' face, Sam's and Bobby's.

"Come on, come on, come on,"

He whispered again and again to himself, this hardly seemed fair to dean he was being yanked from one reality to another against his will, but when he wanted to be, nothing. Dean even started cheesily repeating;

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no fucking place like god damn home."

When nothing happened, not that he help much hope for that, Dean let out one more scream, it was anger desperation confusion and sadness he screamed with. Then he became silent again, nothing but the sound of his heavy breathing filling the otherwise the empty room.


Next chapter up shortly- i've nearly finished writting it ^_^

please, please, please review! XD xxxxx