A/N: Clarke's hurt. Lexa leaves town. Lots of talking. Lexa has trouble taking a stand on what to do about her feelings until someone pushes her.

Ok, first off I am so sorry for leaving that last chapter the way I did having a long break before the next one. I had meant to have this chapter further along, but I have a lot things going on right now and just got behind.

Thanks for all of the wonderful comments. Please keep them coming, I can't say enough how much they mean to me. You can find me on tumblr as Spoilerzzz. Thanks and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Clarke wasn't sure when she had finally fallen asleep. She woke up the next morning and rolled over onto her side still clutching the pillow she had held to her chest and cried into all night. As she blinked her eyes open she had a split second of relief from the hurt and embarrassment until it all came flooding back to her. Clarke closed her eyes trying to hide from the pain when she felt the twist in her gut, but all she saw was the image of Lexa pushing her back and walking away from her. Clarke knew she had stepped over the line, but it was a line she felt they had both been walking like a tightrope. Now that she was being honest with herself she knew they had been bound to fall off eventually, she just thought they would have fallen off together.

Clarke had been sure Lexa felt the same way about her. The way she would catch Lexa looking at her when she thought she couldn't see and how she had taken care of her when she had been sick. I mean sure, she thought, that's something a friend would do, but it felt like more…she was realizing it had always felt like more.

Last night she had looked into Lexa's eyes will all of the emotions she had been denying herself to feel. Instead of seeing what she felt mirrored back at her, she had seen surprise and what looked like fear. It was not the reaction she had expected from Lexa and it hurt…Lexa had hurt her and she didn't know how to deal with the pain she felt from it. Clarke's body and mind were a whirlwind of emotions. Her feelings for Lexa had exploded out of her body and instead picking up the pieces, Lexa had ran.

The day was passing by and she knew she needed to get out bed before she stayed in it forever. She finally managed to get up and decided to take a bath. Her body was sore from yesterday and it felt good to soak in the tub. Clarke laid in the bath and tried to relax, but she couldn't quiet her mind from running through the different reasons that would have caused Lexa to react the way she did. There was Harper, but she didn't think things were that serious between her and Lexa. And of course there was Finn, but she bad been the one to make a move and not Lexa. That just confused Clarke more since it showed she was making a choice. She knew Lexa had been hurt in a past relationship, but she didn't know the details so she had no way of knowing how or why that was effecting things between them now. She felt embarrassed, confused and hurt…the trifecta.

"Fuck My Life", she groaned out loud and sunk down under the water.

Clarke finished with her bath and got dressed in some yoga pants and an old t-shirt, deciding she wasn't going anywhere other than her couch for the day. She zoned out in front of the Tv not really paying attention to the episode of 'The Housewives of Wherever' that she had put on. She snacked on junk food with no shame and ordered food from her favorite Chinese place to be delivered. She didn't have to be back at work until the following evening and since she had slept in for most of the day she knew she would be up most of the night.

Her thoughts played over and over in her mind with no relief. Clarke didn't know why it had taken her so long to admit the feelings she had for Lexa. She didn't know why Lexa had not shown she felt the same way. She didn't know what if anything she could do about that, but she did know one thing that needed to be done regardless and she was realizing it was long overdue.


Lexa came up for air pulling her body so she was floating on the surface of the water. She stayed that way for several minutes letting herself feel weightless as she stared up into a blue sky tinged with orange from the oncoming sunset. She finally climbed back into her kayak and started rowing. When she reached the waters edge she got out of the kayak and pulled it up onto the lake's rocky shore and secured it to the dock. She grabbed her backpack and started heading up the trail that led back to the cabin.

When she got inside she stripped out of her wet swimsuit and took a hot shower to warm her body. Even in the heat of summer the lakes in Bend could still get cool in the evenings. She finished with her shower and got dressed before going out into the kitchen to make herself something for dinner. When she sat down to eat in the silence of the cabin the thoughts she had been trying and failing to run from flooded her mind. It had been three days since she had walked out of Clarke's apartment. She had called Anya the next day and told her she needed to get away for a few days. Lexa had told her sister she was going up to the cabin in Bend, but she didn't tell her why. She knew Anya would let her go without question now, but she would have to explain things when she got back. Lexa would deal with that later. She had needed to get away and get her head straight.

Oregon was home and being in the woods nurtured her soul. She had bought the log cabin in Bend after coming into her first "big time" money as Anya had called it. The cabin had three bedrooms and two full sized bathrooms. The living room had a stone fireplace and windows that lined the walls with views of the lake and the surrounding forest. There was a loft area that had access to a balcony with a hammock, which was Lexa's favorite spot. She loved spending time at the cabin and wished she could spend more time there. But right now she wasn't enjoying it as much as she usually did.

She had too much on her mind.

Clarke and her had almost kissed. A big part of her regretted stopping it from happening, but another part of her still thought it had been the right thing to do. The situation just wasn't right. She wished things weren't so complicated. Despite trying not to she had let herself imagine what it would be like to kiss Clarke so many times. She would catch herself looking at Clarke's lips, imagining how soft they would feel against her own. What it would feel like to have Clarke's hair curled between her fingers. She had imagined what it would feel to be with Clarke and not just physically, but to truly be with her on every level. However, each time she thought about it she would be reminded of how Clarke was with Finn and that would lead to Costia. Lexa had been hurt before and the thought of getting hurt again was too much so she had pushed Clarke away too afraid to take the chance. And by doing so she felt she had also lost a friend.

Lexa closed her eyes as she felt the tears coming once again.


Clarke was relieved to find she had the on-call room to herself. She was in between double shifts at the hospital and too tired to go home so she decided to crash in one of the on-call rooms instead. She set an alarm on her phone and laid down on the couch where she fell asleep almost instantly. Clarke woke up some time later to the feeling of someone brushing her hair from her face. When she opened her eyes she saw her mom sitting on the arm of the sofa.

"Hey you", she heard her mom say softly.

"Hey", Clarke replied as she started to sit up.

She felt her mom place her hand on her shoulder gently pushing her to lay back down. "It's ok, you don't have to get up just yet. I didn't mean to wake you, I just wanted to come check on you".

Clarke hummed in relief and settled herself back into the couch turning onto her side so she could face her mother.

"Thanks, I'm beat". Clarke said with a yawn.

"I'm sure you are. I heard you've been picking up double shifts almost every night this week".

Clarke rolled her eyes, she was sure she had Octavia to thank for that.

"Clarke, is everything alright?"

Clarke sighed as she looked up at her mother and saw nothing but concern etched on her face. She really didn't want to talk about everything, but she did want to put her mom's mind at ease.

"Finn and I broke up". Clarke said.

She waited for it.

Clarke saw her mom holding back from probably doing a victory dance before she replied. "Oh, so you're upset…I mean…of course you are. I just meant, well…when did it happen? And did you? It wasn't him was it?".

"I ended it, a couple days ago", Clarke answered.

"I see", Abby said, processing it all.

Still waiting.

"Well it's for the best, that relationship wasn't going anywhere and as much as you tried to make it work, it just didn't". Abby said not holding back.

Bingo.

Now that her mother had gotten her "I told you so" speech out of the way Clarke hoped that she would leave her alone. She didn't feel like telling her the real reason behind why she was wrapping so much of her time up in work. The only person Clarke had told what had happened with Lexa and breaking up with Finn was Octavia and she had sworn her to secrecy. She had even threatened bodily harm if she told her mother or anyone. Octavia had apparently found a loop hole in their deal by telling her mom about her working so much.

Clarke sat up on the couch, "Mom, I know that's how you've felt for a long time. But I had to come to the decision on my own and I did…so can we please just leave it at that?". Clarke could see her mom still looking at her with questions so she thought maybe she could appease her with some details from the breakup.

"I asked Finn to lunch the other day and I think he knew what it was about the second he saw me. I told him that I didn't think things were working out between us and that we just didn't seem to be in the same place anymore. He had at first said we needed to spend more time together to get back on track, but I told him I just didn't see anything changing. He eventually agreed, even though I could tell it hurt him to hear it more than it hurt me to say it".

Clarke finished and studied her mother's face hoping she would be satisfied.

Her mother finally replied, "It sounds like you handled him and it well. Which is why I'm even more confused now as to why you've been walking around looking like you just lost your best friend".

Damn.

Clarke knew she was caught. Her mom wasn't going to let this go like she had hoped.

"I really don't want to talk about it".

"Clarke, you can talk to me. What is it?".

Clarke debated what to say and how to say it, but she was exhausted and in more ways than just from work so she conceded the battle.

"Lexa".

That was all it took. Four letters and her mom's face changed from questioning to knowing.

"Mom…I have feelings for her and I started to share these feelings with Lexa, but I don't know if she feels the same way or if she's just confused and scared about what she does feel. I don't really know anything because she just said she can't and then she walked away from me, practically running. I made my intentions very clear and she rejected me. We haven't spoken since and I think I've lost what could have at least been the best friend I've ever had all because I let my feelings get in the way".

Clarke felt her mom brush a finger across her cheek as she wiped away a tear that was running down her face. "Oh Clarke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset, but I am glad you told me. And I'm sure things will be ok, it sounds like you guys just need to talk".

"I don't know Mom. I texted her the next day asking if we could talk and she never replied, that was four days ago. I'm starting to think that maybe she doesn't feel the same and so now she's avoiding me".

"Don't give up just yet Clarke. Give her some more time, maybe she just needed to get her own feelings figured out. I only met her once and like I told you I could tell she cares about you, but these things aren't always easy", Abby said.

Clarke closed her eyes as her mom pulled her in for a hug, "Maybe…thanks, Mom".

Her mom left her in the on-call room to get some more rest before her shift started. As Clarke laid there on the couch and thought about what her mom had said she wanted to think that she was right…maybe Lexa did just need time to sort out her own feelings. But Clarke couldn't shake the doubt she felt or the hurt.


Lexa pulled off the highway to stop for lunch. She was headed back down to LA and had been driving for several hours and needed a break. She spotted a cafe that looked promising so she stopped to check it out. After ordering a sandwich she pulled out her cell phone while she waited. She powered her phone on and grimaced as the sounds came one after another with all of the missed texts, calls and emails she had from her week away. When she had left to go up to the cabin she had turned her phone off just wanting to be completely off the grid. Anya knew to expect it, but Lexa still saw a couple texts from her sister just wanting to see how she was doing. She sent Anya a quick text back letting her know she was fine and on her way back. She also saw she had a text from Clarke that had been sent the day after they had almost kissed. All it said was, "Can we talk?".

Lexa felt bad that Clarke probably thought she had seen it and chosen to ignore her, but as she stared at the text now she didn't know what to do. So she did nothing. Lexa also saw some texts from Harper asking where she was…she ignored those too. She moved on to checking her emails and decided to update her blog. As she was eating her lunch she looked down and saw Anya was calling her.

Lexa answered, "Hey".

"Hey, it's good to hear from you. How was it at the lake?", Anya asked.

"It was nice. Some time away from the city was good. I just needed to get away for a little bit".

"I'm glad, but I hope you'll be ready to talk about whatever is going on when you get back".

"I will be", Lexa replied and meant it.

"Don't shut me out Lexa, you know I'm always here for you".

"I know Anya and I'm sorry you felt like I shut you out. I just needed some space. I'll explain everything when I see you".

"It's ok, drive safe and I'll see you soon".

"Thanks", Lexa said.

After ending her call wth Anya she finished with her lunch and got back on the road. She still had a little over 6 hours left to go which would give her plenty of time to prep herself for talking with with her sister. But as she drove all she could think about was Clarke's text. She wanted to talk…or at least she had wanted to. After walking away from her like she had Lexa was surprised Clarke had reached out to her. She wasn't sure where Clarke and her stood now. She had figured she had ruined everything, but maybe…just maybe she hadn't.


Lexa stopped at her favorite local coffee shop on her way over to see Anya. She had gotten home late the night before and was in desperate need of some caffeine. She got her coffee, which she made a double, and headed on her way. She had figured it was best to just get this conversation over with now instead of putting it off.

Lexa used her key to let herself into her sister's condo. She called out for her when she didn't see her in the living room, "Anya, it's Lex". She then made her way into the kitchen where she sat her coffee down and the scones she had bought. She heard a noise coming from the down the hall towards Anya's bedroom before she heard Anya reply back, "Hey, umm…just a second".

Lexa grabbed one of the barstools at the kitchen counter and dug into a vanilla scone.

After a few more minutes Anya finally came out to the kitchen. Lexa was surprised to see that it looked like she had just finished taking a shower and gotten dressed, "Someone slept in I see".

Lexa noticed that Anya seemed a bit nervous and distracted.

"Oh, uh yeah, I guess I did", Anya said.

Lexa heard a noise that sounded like a door closing coming from down the hall which caused her to drop her scone and narrow her eyes at her sister. "You have someone over", Lexa said.

Lexa could see Anya searching for what to say next.

"Look, Lexa, there is something I have been meaning to tell you. I didn't want you to find out this way, I didn't know you were going to come over since you had that long drive yesterday. The thing is, I've been seeing someone".

Lexa had noticed a change in Anya in the last few weeks. She had suspected she might be dating someone since she had canceled dinner plans with her a couple of times. Lexa had decided to wait and let Anya tell her when she was ready. It looked like Lexa had sped that moment up without meaning too.

"Anya, it's cool. I had kind of suspected it. I should have called and said I was coming over. I can leave and come back later", Lexa said.

"No. It's cool, you can stay. It's just that, well I guess the part I'm sort of nervous about is you finding out how who I'm seeing", Anya said as she nervously fidgeted with her hands.

Lexa started to reply saying that whoever it was didn't matter to her if they made Anya happy when she was knocked speechless. She watched as Raven walked into the kitchen with a towel around her neck drying her wet hair.

"Surprise!", Raven said with a grin on her face as she walked over towards Anya.

Lexa looked from Anya to Raven and back to Anya, "Um…wow…so the two of you?…how did this? I mean…when did this happen?…umm, sorry just wow".

Anya answered first, "I think we first noticed something that night at the Ark and things just sort of happened. Like I said I've been meaning to tell you, but it just never seemed like the right moment".

Raven spoke up next, "We weren't trying to do anything behind your back. I hope you're ok with this, but honestly you're just going to have to deal if not because…this is happening".

Lexa was shocked. She knew Anya was bisexual and Raven was…well she was Raven so it wasn't anything to do with that. She just would have never thought they would go together as a couple. Anya was mature and responsible and Raven was…well again, she was Raven. But Lexa was not going to judge. If it was Raven who she had to thank for Anya's more laid back mood lately then it was all good in her book.

Lexa watched as Raven stood next to Anya and reached her arm around her waist. She could see Anya relax into the touch as she looked at her hopeful for her approval. "No, I mean, yeah I'm more than ok with it. You two seem happy and that makes me happy for you. I just never would have guessed, that's all".

Lexa saw Anya smile, "Believe me, you aren't the only one".

Raven poked Anya in her side, "Hey…it's not really that big of a stretch".

Anya laughed out loud, "Oh whatever, you know Tinder would have never matched us up".

Lexa smiled as she watched them tease each other, she was glad to see her sister and her friend happy.

Lexa saw Anya turn her attention back towards her, "Ok, so now that's over with you can tell us what had you running away to the cabin for the past week". Lexa huffed out a breath of air as Anya grabbed the scones and pushed her towards to the living room where the three of them could sit and talk.

Lexa told Anya and Raven everything that had happened. She told them how Clarke had seemed fine the day of the event, but then how odd the whole rock climbing thing had seemed to her. And how when she had offered to give Clarke a ride home she had been quiet and distant while they drove. She told them how Clarke sort of blew up at her out of nowhere when she asked her what was wrong. And lastly she told them about how Clarke had almost kissed her.

"Anya, the way Clarke looked at me. She had looked at me with everything. For a split second I almost let it happen, but then it all hit me and I panicked. So I ran. I ran away from Clarke. I ran away from this town. I just ran".

Lexa put her face into her hands and then felt Anya move to sit next to her on the couch.

She felt Anya start to rub her back, "Lexa, she caught you off guard and you weren't ready. I can tell you're upset that you hurt her, but I think both of you are to blame for this. You guys are long overdue for a serious conversation. You two have been getting closer and dancing around your feelings. We've all seen the connection you two have. And I know why you've been standing your ground not wanting to cross that line. But it's time to let what happened with Costia stop having so much control over you".

Lexa knew Anya was right, but she wasn't sure what to do. Clarke was with Finn and she didn't know how to have a conversation with Clarke about them when that was still a factor.

Lexa looked over at Raven who had been unusually quiet during everything, "So what's your take on all of this?". Lexa was ready for some sarcastic remark, but the look on Raven's face surprised her.

Raven spoke up, "Lexa, I want you to be happy. You need to figure out what you want and don't run away from it because the thought of it scares you. The things we run away from never go away, but they do eventually stop being things we can go back to".

Raven's words cut deep into Lexa.

One thing she did know was that she needed to clear things up with Harper before she did anything else. Lexa had no intentions of that going anywhere and it wasn't fair to keep avoiding being honest with Harper about that.

Lexa felt the weight of everything settling in on her, but she also felt some amount of relief. She felt like she had been running away from her feelings for Clarke since they first met and the thought of stopping to face them scared her. What scared her even more was the thought of never knowing what could have been if she didn't. She needed to get things figured out.


It had been several days since her talk with Anya and Lexa still hadn't texted Clarke back. She just didn't know what to say and she didn't feel ready to meet up with her and talk things over yet. She just didn't know where that conversation would or could go so she focused on work and not the blue eyed blonde who had been haunting her thoughts and dreams.

Lexa was busy working on putting together some ideas to send to their graphic designer. She had some updates she wanted to make to their website. She was in the middle of putting an email together when she got a call from their office secretary saying that a woman was there to see her.

When Lexa walked out of her office and to the lobby she was shocked to see Abby Griffin waiting for her. She felt her fight or flight instincts gear up and she wanted to choose flight, but it was too late…Abby had seen her. Clarke's mom greeted her with a warm smile, but Lexa remained on guard not sure what this could be about.

"Abby, it's umm, nice to see you". Lexa said without being able to hide the unsure tone in her voice. "How did you know where I worked?".

Abby replied, "I have my ways and it's good to see you too. I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here. Are you free for lunch? I have something I want to talk with you about and I'd rather not do it here".

Lexa was even more unsure now, but she was also curious. "Uh, yeah sure. Just give me a few minutes".

Lexa hid in her office while she texted Anya who had left to go meet Raven for lunch before Abby had shown up.

Lexa: So Clarke's mom just showed up at the office.

Anya: Really?! What does she want?

Lexa: Lunch.

Anya: Omg, what if you're in one of those mother-daughter love triangles.

Lexa: Not funny.

Anya: Thank Raven.

Lexa: Ugh.

Anya: Calm down, I'm sure it's not that, lol.

Anya: Let me, and by me I mean us, know what happens.

Lexa walked back out to where Abby was still standing in the lobby. They decided on going to this sandwich shop that was within walking distance of Lexa's office. When they got to the restaurant they both ordered and Lexa noticed that Abby went and grabbed a table in the back. Lexa's stomach was in knots and she really didn't have much of an appetite. She was sure Abby was there to talk to her about Clarke, there was no other reason for her to be there. Although, she didn't know what she could specifically want to talk to her about…which was what probably had her the most on edge.

Lexa picked up both of their orders once they were ready and made her way back to the table where Abby was sitting. After a couple minutes of awkward silence with them each slowly eating their lunch Abby finally spoke up.

"So Lexa, I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you to lunch. I'm sure you've assumed it's about Clarke".

Lexa started to speak up, but Abby continued.

"And it is. Now first, understand a couple things. For one, I'm not here as Clarke's representative. She doesn't know we are meeting and I'd like to keep it that way. Also I never get involved in my daughters life when it comes to who she dates. Sure I'll let my opinions be known, but what's happening right now, I've never done before. Which is probably why her and Finn stayed together for as long as they did".

Lexa picked up on the form of tense Abby had used, "Did?"

Abby seemed pleased that Lexa had caught that, "Yes, Clarke broke up with Finn".

"I, uh, didn't know", Lexa said, her mind now reeling.

"I didn't think you would and please, you didn't hear from me. Clarke told me about what happened between you two the other night and that you haven't spoken since". Abby said.

As if Lexa hadn't been uncomfortable enough before, she was dying inside now. She still had no clue why Abby was there other than to make her feel bad, it was all getting to be too much. The feeling to get up and run away was filling every inch of her body. She looked down and saw that her hands were gripping at the table like it was the only thing keeping her grounded. Abby must have noticed because Lexa felt her hand come to rest on her forearm trying to offer a small amount of comfort.

"Lexa, it's ok. I'm not here to yell at you for hurting Clarke, I have a feeling you've beaten yourself up enough about that. What am I here to tell you is that whatever feelings you have for my daughter, whether it be a friendship or more, please tell her".

Lexa was at a loss. She had not expected this and she didn't know what to say.

"I…it's…just complicated", was all Lexa could say.

Abby shook her head, "You don't owe me any answers. Please just talk to her. I might have overstepped my boundaries by meeting with you and if I have made you uncomfortable I apologize. I sat by while she wasted all of that time on her relationship with Finn, she's always trying to fix everything even when it's something that needs to break. I couldn't sit by and not say anything and watch what I think could be something between the two of you never have a chance. She thinks she's lost you in every way, even as just a friend. I think for once she thinks she broke something even she can't fix".

Lexa nodded as Abby stood up from the table and grabbed her things. "Abby…I will, I'll talk to her", Lexa said.

Abby smiled and walked out of the restaurant leaving Lexa a mess of emotions.


After putting in an ungodly amount of hours at the hospital for the past two weeks Clarke was more than ready for a night out with Octavia. She was also looking forward to some distractions from her thoughts about Lexa in the form of cocktails…lots of them.

She still hadn't heard from her and the hurt was more than just from what happened the other night. Clarke missed Lexa. She felt this emptiness inside her like she had been through a bad breakup when Lexa and her had never even gone on a date. She missed her friend. As much as it hurt her to think about she thought she'd take it all back if she could. She would keep her feelings all bottled up inside her if it meant she could at least have Lexa back as a friend.

Clarke pushed all of those thoughts aside, she was determined to have a fun night out. So she finished getting dressed and left to head out with Octavia when she came by her apartment to pick her up.

They had been at the club for a couple hours and Clarke was feeling pretty good. Her date for the night, Gin and Tonic, had been treating her very well. It felt good to let loose and let the alcohol numb her thoughts and feelings away even for just one night. She had just finished her most recent drink, she was unsure of the count at the moment, and had made her way over to the dance floor. She looked around for Octavia, but she didn't see her anywhere. As she stood out on the dance floor the next song started up. She felt her body immediately start to react to the rhythm of the song as Rihanna's Pour It Up flooded the room.

Clarke suddenly felt the presence of someone starting to dance next to her. She spun around expecting to see Octavia, but instead she saw a guy with dark hair moving along to the song with her. He was cute enough, the alcohol might have helped some, so she thought what the hell. As the song went along her new dance partner started getting a little more comfortable dancing with her. She felt his hands on her waist and she spun around moving out of his touch. He moved closer and began grinding against her backside and started trailing his hands down her sides. The alcohol in her system had clouded her mind some, ok a lot, but she was starting to sober up becoming more uncomfortable as his hands kept moving lower down her body. As soon as his hand cupped her ass she jolted away from him. He didn't take the hint as she saw him start to grab for her again. Clarke was just about to push him away when out of nowhere someone was pulling him away from her and yelling, "Get the fuck away from her".

Clarke watched in shocked as she saw a flash of brunette curls as Lexa moved to stand between her and her now ex-dance partner. The guy mumbled something and threw his hands up in the air before walking off into the crowd.

Lexa turned towards her. "Are you alright?", Lexa asked as her eyes searched over her face.

Clarke was stunned and the alcohol was not helping things as she tried to get a grip on the fact that Lexa was here in front of her. And then she looked into Lexa's eyes and damn those eyes. In the darkness of the club her green eyes glowed like gems and she could see the concern Lexa felt on her face. "Yeah..I'm fine", Clarke managed to say.

Lexa took her hand into hers and walked her over to a table where Clarke sat down and then she was gone. Clarke felt a sense of panic that maybe she had decided to just leave, but then Lexa was back with a glass of water.

"Here drink this, it will help". Lexa said as she sat down next to her.

Clarke took a few sips of the water and placed her hand on her forehead as she felt her head was starting to swim. The amount of alcohol she had drank for the night was catching up with her, but she was still alert enough to want answers. She looked over at Lexa, "Why are you here?". She realized it came out kind of harsh. Maybe harsher than she intended it to or maybe it was exactly how she had wanted it to sound…she wasn't sure.

She saw Lexa flinch at her words as she was looking around avoiding making eye contact with her. "Umm, Octavia called Lincoln and invited him to come here, but she sounded really drunk on the phone. We were at the gym and decided to come and make sure you guys got home ok. I think they already left, but I can go look for them if you'd rather Lincoln take you home", Lexa said.

Clarke wasn't sure what to feel, but she knew she didn't want Lexa to leave. Here Lexa was watching out for her like she cared, which made Clarke both happy and confused. This was the same Lexa who hadn't texted her or called her back in over a week. The same one who had rejected her. It was all too much for Clarke to process, especially in her current condition. She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe, like there wasn't enough space in the club and the walls were closing in on her.

"No, I don't want…" Clarke shook her head. "Can we just go", Clarke said.

Lexa stood up and outstretched her hand towards her. "Yeah, lets get you home", Lexa said. Clarke looked up at her for a few seconds before placing her own hand inside Lexa's. As she stood up she felt Lexa's grip tighten as she helped to steady her.

Clarke continued to hold on to Lexa's hand as she let her lead them out of the club and to her car. Lexa's hand felt strong in hers, but also gentle. Clarke thought about how it was just a simple gesture, but something about it felt like so much more…she never wanted to let go.


Lexa drove Clarke home and walked her up to her apartment. After Clarke walked inside Lexa stood in the doorway unsure of what to do next. She hadn't expected that this was going to be how they would next see each other. Her and Clarke needed to talk, but now was not the time with Clarke having been drinking. She watched as Clarke kicked off her heels and turned back to look at her. They both stood there looking at each other with so many unsaid things hanging in the air between them. It was Clarke who finally spoke up, "Thanks for dealing with that guy and for the ride home". Clarke said it like she owed something to Lexa when she owed her nothing. It was Lexa who owed so much to her.

Lexa finally stepped inside the apartment closing the door behind her. She knew now was not the time for them to talk about everything, but she couldn't leave without saying something. She took a few steps towards Clarke, but still kept a comfortable distance between them.

"Clarke, I,…I know now isn't the time for all of this. There are a lot of things we need to talk about, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I reacted, I'm sorry for how that must have made you feel. I should have reached out to you sooner to explain everything, but I needed some time…I just needed to figure some things out first".

Lexa looked at Clarke and could tell she was thinking over her words.

"And did you?", Clarke asked, "Figure whatever these things are out".

Lexa took a step closer to Clarke, at first unaware that she had even done it. She saw Clarke tense up and what she saw when she looked into Clarke's eyes pulled at her heart like nothing else she had ever felt. Lexa saw the hurt she had caused her, but also what looked like hope. And Lexa hoped that what she saw was that Clarke still felt the same way and that maybe, maybe there was still a chance for them.

As she stood there looking at Clarke she realized they were in the exact same spot where they had been just a couple of weeks ago. Where Lexa had ran from Clarke when she had been at her most vulnerable. She had ran away from confronting her past and dealing with her own feelings. It seemed that fate was giving her a second chance, a do-over to get things right this time around. Lexa would be damned if she was going to mess this up, because she was done running. She would never run from Clarke again.

"Yes", Lexa said.

Lexa looked into Clarke's eyes hoping to convey what that one word meant. She looked at her stripped bare of the walls she kept up around herself as she moved even closer to Clarke so that they were almost touching.

"I want you", Lexa said.

The words left Lexa's lips in almost a whisper they were spoken so softly, but not out of being unsure or wary about what she was confessing. The power behind that statement had almost left her breathless. In that moment she felt like she had never and would never want anything more in her entire life than to have Clarke be a part of hers.

"I want all of you Clarke. I have for a long time. It's just that there are some things that made me afraid to confront the feelings I have for you, feelings that are so strong I sometimes can't breath when I'm around", Lexa said feeling a weight lift off of her as the words left her mouth.

She was watching Clarke, who looked almost stunned, trying think of what to say. Lexa felt the fear she had been worried about creeping in. The fear that maybe she had jumped to conclusions too fast. Maybe she had come on a little too strong.

"That is, if you'll still have me after what I did. Clarke, please tell me I haven't messed this up. Tell me that we still have a chance to give us a try", Lexa said and she knew she sounded desperate, but she didn't care because she was.

Lexa watched as Clarke shut her eyes and tears began streaming down her cheeks. Without even thinking twice about it Lexa reached up and started brushing away the tears as she cupped Clarke's cheeks softly in her hands.

Clarke opened her eyes and replied, "Yes".

Lexa felt her own tears now as she leaned in closer to Clarke so that their foreheads rested against each other. They stood like that for what felt like seconds that stretched on forever until it was Clarke who made the next move. She pulled back slightly looking up into Lexa's eyes as she then closed the distance between them and their lips finally met.

The kiss started out soft and gentle. Lexa could feel her lips trembling from the intensity of it and all of the emotions that were spilling out of her. She melted into the feeling of Clarke's lips on her own as Clarke kissed her back. The kiss heated as they each became more comfortable with each other in that moment and desperate for more. Lexa's hands moved to Clarke's hair curling her hand around the side of her neck as she pulled them closer together. At the same time she felt Clarke's hands move to her sides trailing down to her waist and pulling their bodies so they were flush against each other. She felt one of Clarke's hands graze her side where her shirt had risen up and her touch felt like fire on her skin. Lexa pulled Clarke's bottom lip into her mouth sucking on it and she both felt and heard Clarke moan from the action. She then brushed her tongue out tracing the line of Clarke's bottom lip seeking permission to deepen the kiss further. Clarke answered by opening her mouth wider and connecting their tongues at the same time. Lexa couldn't hold back the moan that came up deep from her throat as she relished in the feel and taste of Clarke's tongue against her own.

Lexa eventually broke the kiss as they each took in deep breaths, but never loosing eye contact with each other. Lexa sighed and leaned in brushing their noses together. Lexa moved her hands down to Clarke's clasping them together at their sides.

"I've wanted to do that since I first met you at the hospital", Lexa confessed as her cheeks reddened.

"I think I've been waiting for it to happen for just as long too. It just took me a while to realize it", Clarke replied.

Lexa felt Clarke lean back in for another kiss and she kissed her back getting lost in the moment all over again. She felt Clarke reaching under her shirt brushing her hands across her stomach and she broke the kiss off pulling back to look at Clarke. Lexa saw a confused look on her face, but she needed to set a boundary…for that night at least.

"I don't want to take things any further tonight…well I mean I do want to, but we shouldn't. Not until we've had a chance to talk things over. I don't want there to be anything left hanging in the balance or misunderstood between us", Lexa said hoping that Clarke understood that this wasn't another rejection. Lexa saw Clarke nod as Lexa reached out and brushed some loose strands of Clarke's hair behind her ear. Lexa continued her thought, "I just want us to both have a clear head when we talk. You've had quite the night and I don't want there to be any regrets in the morning when we still have things to talk about and clear up".

"I understand and I agree we do need to talk things over and I'm too tired to deal with all of that right now, but just promise me one thing", Clarke said.

"Anything", Lexa answered.

"Stay the night, I just want you here with me".

Lexa pulled Clarke into a hug and held on to her wanting to show just how much she meant her next words. Lexa turned and softly spoke into Clarke's ear, "I'm not going anywhere". She felt Clarke tighten their hug as if using the action as a way of answering the same thing back at Lexa.

They stayed there just holding onto each other for a few minutes neither of them wanting to let go just yet. After some time Lexa felt Clarke pull away out of the hug and reach down to grab her hand. She laced their fingers together and led Lexa towards her bedroom. Lexa watched as Clarke pulled some clothes out a dresser. She handed her a shirt and some sleeper shorts and Lexa noticed she had some clothes for herself as well. Clarke took a shower and changed in the bathroom giving Lexa the privacy of her bedroom. Lexa changed into the clothes Clarke and given her and waited for her sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked around and was almost dizzy with how overwhelming the feelings were that she was having. The realization of being where she was at that exact moment came crashing down on her. She thought it was the best feeling she had, had in a while.

Clarke finished with her shower and came back out into the bedroom. Clarke was wearing an old band t-shirt and some boxers, she looked almost too adorable to be real. Lexa felt herself almost start to cry over how happy the image was making her. They both climbed into the bed not saying a word. Lexa settled in behind Clarke as she moved towards her so that Clarke's back was up against her chest. She wrapped an arm around Clarke's waist and felt her reach up and grab her hand with hers pulling it tight against her body. Lexa leaned down and nuzzled her face into Clarke's neck inhaling her scent…lavender. Lexa thought she'd never be able to smell lavender again without thinking of Clarke.

Lexa felt Clarke's body relaxing into hers and it felt like they had laid this way together a million times before. Lexa hadn't even fallen sleep yet and she already felt like she'd never be able to sleep again without Clarke in her arms.

"Goodnight", Lexa whispered.

"Goodnight Lexa", Clarke whispered back.