Hi guys! I'm back...
It took me longer than expected but you'll see why: it was a long chapter and I wanted it to be fine.
I hope to be quicker next time... as, yes, I'm going on.
Enjoy and review!
Heartbreaking reverberations
When you say something, you don't think that this could change your life forever.
(Charlie is taking his things out of his locker)
You don't think either that your actions or non actions could do it.
But the fact is that sometimes, casually, life takes strange and unpredictable directions: so something you did with love and affection turns out to be meaningless to others, it ends up causing you trouble and pain. And it hurts even more because you did with such heart that, for you, it is written all other the sky (the post it hangs on Meredith's and Derek's bed)
Sometimes our actions are just like snowflakes.
They fall light to the groud without making any noise.
But flake after flake a little move is enought to have the avalanche begin its fall.
(Richard is walking to Derek's office in a haze. He feels glares on his back but his hard expression is enough to take everyone away. He finally enters the door and closes it behind his back. He takes a short look to the whole, Derek-y like room, and then lets himself fall on the couch. He covers his eyes with the hands and starts to breath in and out loudly. He feels like his head is in a balloon and someone is kicking it from inside out. His peace is short because after some minute Mr. Jennings and two men enter the same door).
Jennings: Richard... (Webber does not look up). I'm.... this is inspector Lewis and his assistant, Mr. Donald.
Man: Donner
Jennings: yeh... excuse me. They are taking charge of the investigations about... you know and would like to ask you and other employees some question.
Richard: Hunt should be here in a while
Lewis: is this your office?
Richard: no, it's Der... Dr. Sheperd's office.
Jennings: how is he doing?
Richard: holding on, but.... it's bad (Hunt knocks once and enters. He stills a moment on the door to look at Derek's desk. He can't help but remember their conversation the day before. Their condition seemed so different then: Derek was happy, his relationship with Meredith was going beautiful. His life... a mess. He rouses himself from his daydreaming and stops in the middle of the room waiting for instructions)
Lewis: so... everybody's here. We can start (he goes towards Derek's desk but, at the last moment, a kind of discretion and respect prevail and he sits on one of the chairs in front of the table. Hunt and Jennings sit near Webber). Ok... I want to point out this is just an informal and preliminary speech. We'll do more then (he takes a block notes and reads something turning the pages. He speaks without looking up). So I was told Dr. Sheperd was named Chief a short time ago...
Jennings: two months more or less.
Lewis: the reasons of the change? (Jennings stares a moment at Richard who keeps looking down)
Jennings: personal issues of the previous chief...
Lewis: did he resign or...
Jennings: we replaced him as a matter of course for a while.
Lewis: I guess he was not happy about it.... Do you think he could be our man? (Richard eyes go off high, Hunt's face is a grimace of disbelief)
Richard: that would be me...
Donner: oh.... Can you tell us where you were during the attack?
Hunt: what? Is this a joke?
Richard: it's fine... I was the doctor Bailey, another attending. We were discharging a patient.
Lewis: can she confirm it?
Richard: sure. I can page her even now if you want.
Donner: do it (a frown of surprise paints on Richard's face but he pages Miranda)
(Meredith is still laying in an on call room. She stares right in front of her. Cristina is on the door looking at her. She has had the impulse to talk to her sometimes but, finally, she has never found anything to say. Lexie joins her)
Lexie: how is she? Is she talking or... (Cristina closes the door and stands in front of it in the corridor)
Cristina: nothing. She is laying there and... nothing (Lexie lowers her voice)
Lexie: how long do you know she is pregnant?
Cristina: shot your big mouth up! Do you want the whole hospital to know? I know since yesterday and I don't think she knows it much longer.
Lexie: has she eaten something?
Cristina: no. She refuses to take her ass ouf of there.
Lexie: we must do something....
Cristina: I've tried but...
Lexie: I'll go grab something for her (she runs away and Cristina opens the door again: Meredith is in the same position they left her before)
(Alex enters the locker room. Avery and Reed are sitting silently on the bench while Charlie is taking his belongings out of the locker)
Alex: hey (anyone answers). What are you doing?
Charlia: Taking my things out of here.
Alex: I got that. Why? (Charlie breaths out without answering back)
Reed: Torres fired him.
Alex: what?
Avery: Torres fir...
Alex: I'm not an idiot. I can still understand a three words sentence. Why?
Charlie: I said a really stupid thing, Sloan knocked me down. That's it.
Reed: maybe he could try to talk to her. They are friends.
Avery: I don't think it's a good idea (Charlie closes the locker)
Charlie: it's not (He leaves the room. Reed stands up to follow him after some second but Avery stops her)
Reed: we can't let him go like this.
Avery: we can and we are doing it. He has always been a silly guy and this time he won the first prize.
Reed: have you seen April? It's two days I don't see her.
Alex: she was in the hallway before. She looked kind of freaked out.
Avery: everyone does. This looks like a nightmare (Alex has sit on a bench and is rubbing his temples). Are you ok?
Alex: sure... Yesterday morning I was having breakfast with Sheperd and now he is almost dead. I can't believe this is real. He had just told me to look after Meredith, not to leave her home alone. It seems like it's not her who needed to be protected....
Avery: do you think he was afraid of something? (Alex lifts his palms as confirm without saying anything else)
Reed: you should report it.
Alex: I don't even know if he was really afraid of something or if he was just hovering....
Avery: let the cops decide it (Avery's and Reed's pager start beeping)
Reed: it's the ER (they stand up and leave the room)
April is standing out of Derek's room. The blinds are off but she can hear the sounds of the monitors inside. She's crying and her hands are shaking. She puts them into her pockets.
Her body is tensed, ready to jump in if the monitor skipped a beat. But, second after second, the heart beat beep keeps going on. She looks at the door knob every now and then, as if she wanted to enter and lay there with him. Nobody would notice her absence.
Suddenly she takes a hand from her pocket and starts eating her nails nervously: a clear remember of Mr. Greene's face enters her mind. She has seen cops before and has risisted the temptation to go to them and tell the truth. But she has realized that she would put an end to her carreer: and she did not want to leave Dr. Sheperd. Ever.
Mark is walking up and down the hall. He keeps staring at his watch when he hears a voice calling his name. He turns around to find Derek's mum walking fast to him. She throws her arms around him and he realizes she is already crying.
Mark: Mrs. Sheperd... (he hugs her and rubs her back. He sees Derek's sisters standing right in front of him)
Nancy: what the hell happened? A car crash? You told nothing on the phone... How is he doing? (he lets go of Derek's mum and lead them all to a recess)
Katherine: we are waiting here, Mark.... (he sits with Mrs. Sheperd holding her hand and staring at them all. He swallows hard trying to find the words which don't want to come)
Mark: he hadn't an accident. It was.... (he looks at Mrs. Sheperd's eyes. They are so similar to Derek's that Mark's heart skips a bit) he was... (Nancy shrugs) hurt by someone...
Amelia: what does this mean? Oh my God... was he shot?
Mark: no... stabbed (he says the word like it was peeling off his tongue's skin. Horror paint on all women's faces). I'd like to tell you something more but we don't have a clue right now. I just called you to come here...
Mrs. Sheperd: I want to see him....
Mark: ok... let's go (he helps Mrs. Sheperd standing up and move to the elevators)
(Bailey knocks and enters the chief's office. She is surprised to see all that people in)
Lewis: hi Dr. Bailey. I'm Lewis, Seattle Police Department. We were making some questions to Dr. Hunt and Webber and we needed your help.
Bailey: sure...
Donner: do you know where Dr. Webber was in the time period Dr. Sheperd was attacked? (the same surprise which had painted Owen's face makes her way on Bailey's too)
Hunt: he is not kidding... Tell him.
Bailey: he was with me in the department. We were discharging Mrs. Carlson.
Lewis: are you sure?
Bailey: yes...
Lewis: ok... we can go ahaed now. No offence Dr. Webber...
Webber: none taken.
Donner: do you know is someone hold grudge to Dr. Sheperd? I don't know... some patient or patient's relative?
Webber: he takes care of a lot of patients. I should read his files to know...
Donner: do it... And his personal life? Does he have a wife or a girilfriend?
Webber: he is married. And faithful. You won't find anything there....
Donner: so you're saying he was...
Bailey: he IS...
Donner: sorry.... is the good guy type?
Webber: I'd swear on this.
Lewis: ok… if that's all… (he stands up and turns around)
Bailey: to tell the truth there was quiete a situation going on... (Lewis turns around and both Hunt and Webber look at her stunned)
Donner: situation? Explain yourself (Bailey speaks keeping her eyes low)
Bailey: a resident was... stalking him (Richard and Owen are even more bewildered)
Lewis: that's something... Go on...
Bailey: she has a crush on him. A huge crash. She stole things from his office, his home kyes. He also suspected she went to his place but... he had no evidence.
Lewis: does she still work here?
Bailey: yes (every word comes out difficult. Hunt shakes his head)
Lewis: is there something wrong Dr. Hunt?
Hunt: no... it's just... do you really think a woman could have done such a butchery?
Donner: I have seen women in my life doing even worse with a knife (someone knocks and another officer appears at the door)
Man: excuse me sir...
Lewis: yes?
Man: we need your presence upstairs.
Lewis: I'll come later.
Man: no sir. Now. It's really important (Lewis nods and goes out followed by Donner).
Richard: what the hell is this story, Miranda?
Bailey: I'm sorry... I thought it could be important to say it....
Richard: it is.... but why I don't know anything about it? (his voice is raising. Miranda stands up angry but Jennings comes between the two of them)
Jennings: I know that you are stressed and scared and worried but I don't think that discussing will make things better (Richard sits again and Jennings with him). I think we should talk about the position, Richard.
Richard: I don't care about it right now.
Jennings: I don't know Sheperd that much. But this is stressing to me too. I understand...
Richard: no, you don't. Do you want to? Have a walk in the corridors, talk to nurses and doctors and patients. It will take you five minutes to know who Derek Sheperd is. I need to drink something... (he stands up)
Hunt: Webber...
Richard: water... just water (he stands up and pours himself a glass of water).
(Arizona enters the ER and finds Callie laying on a stretcher. She awakes her with a kiss on the cheek)
Arizona: morning beautiful... (Callie open her eyes confuse). Or better good afternoon....
Callie: afternoon.... what time is it?
Alizona: almost 18.00 ...
Callie: crap.... I fell asleep....
Arizona: how could you not? You are on call since.... I can't remember when (Callie stands up and stretches her arms and then her back)
Callie: 31 hours (she stops abruptly). Sheperd?
Arizona: still the same... (they walk through the corridor till they hear an ambulance coming). That's my case... that's what I woke you up for.
Callie: oh...
Arizona: grab a coffee. I go to take him (Arizona exits the doors and Callie makes her way to the coffee machine. She keeps stretching her neck and arms. Reed and Avery comes in)
Avery: Dr. Torres... we were paged here...
Callie: I don't know why. Look around (she goes ahead)
Avery: she looks like crap...
Reed: and smells like crap too
Avery: do you want to be fired too?
Reed: no thanks... Anyway she has a right on it: she must be here from a lot of time (they finally arrive to the nurses station where they find Teddy)
Avery: did you page us Dr. Altman?
Teddy: yes... I have a boy coming in with heart distress. Do you want in?
Avery: sure
Teddy: ok... (she smiles brightly at them and go back to her chart). You can prep visit room 4 then (Reed and Avery go away)
Cristina is still standing outside the OC room. Lexie appears with a tray in her hands. Without saying anything, Cristina opens the door and lets her in. She goes in as well and then closes the door. Lexie has sit on the bed, near Meredith, she has started stroking her hair.
Lexie: Mer...
Meredith: uhm...
Lexie: you should eat something
Meredith: I can't... My stomach is in knots
Lexie: it's normal. But you should try... I bought you a sandwich (she lifts the bag from the tray and makes a disgusted face): jam and salad, your favourite.
Cristina: I don't get like you like that crap...
Lexie: some fruit...
Cristina: she is not a Health Nut
Lexie: and.... tatan! Surprise.... A chocolate bar.... So.... Where do you want to start from? (Meredith turns on the other side giving her back to them. Lexie let her hands fall defeated)
Cristina: ok.... enough Meredith. You can even want to starve but... think of the baby (Meredith flinches). McPeanut (Lexie turns to look at her stunned) What? She called her that! I was saying McPeanut needs to eat to become a Coconut. So eat...(she takes the sandwich and lets it falls in front of Meredith's nose. After some second Meredith moves, she lifts sitting. She stares at the sandwich in her hands. She opens the bag: the smell pricks her nostrils and nausea rises to her throat. But then she takes it out and takes a little bite. She starts chewing with more energy)
Cristina: Good... (there is a heavy silence in the room)
Meredith: is his mum here?
Cristina: I have not seen them...
Lexie: Mark told me they were supposed to arrive in the late morning. So I think it's some hours they're here.
Meredith: hours? What's the time?
Cristina: it's almost 20 Mer...
Meredith: 20? I should go home. It's late (she stands up and makes some step to the door. Both Cristina and Lexie look at her)
Cristina: home? Meredith... you should go to Derek...
Meredith: his mum and his perfect, freaking sisters are here. They are with him. And I need to go home.
Lexie: I'll come with you. My shift has just ended (they go out and leave Cristina alone)
Derek's mum is sitting in a chair besides his son's bed. She is holding his still, cold hand. She strokes his hair sometimes, some tear is rolling down her cheeks. Her son features are peaceful; if it was not for the ventilator and all the hooks and tubes sneaking out his body, she could swear he is sleeping.
Only the monitors beeping breaks the silence of the room. Mark is standing outside the door with Derek's sisters.
Nancy: where is she?
Katherine: who are you talking about, Nance?
Nancy: the slutty intern
Katherine: don't call her that...
Nancy: why? He is in there dying and she hasn't found the time to even show up.
Mark: she has been here the whole night. I guess her friends have driven her home to have a shower.
Nancy: sure.... (she goes back looking in the room) Jesus.... I can't believe this happened to him.
Katherine: I think you are not the only one in denial.
Nancy: what do you mean?
Katherine: to all the people who are throwing sympathetic looks at us. It's clear that a lot of people love Derek down here.
Amelia: yeh... the usual bunch of idiots who can't resist his charm
Mark: ehi... it's your brother you're talking about.
Amelia: that I know.... Don't give me lectures on respecting my brother.... (she makes some step down the corridor) Where the hell is Webber? I haven't seen him the whole day...
Nancy: maybe he's holding the slutty intern's hand. Derek told me he had an affair with her mother. It's a family fault to sleep with married men.
Katherine: you are harsh. And wretched.
Bailey, Hunt, Webber and Jennings are still in Derek's office. They have been in there for hours.
Bailey: do we have to wait here forever?
Hunt: he told us to wait.
Bailey: two hours ago. I had to check on Derek.
Hunt: Teddy did it. And will be doing it (the open doors and Lewis and Donner enter. Webber notices the two cobs have a serious look. Lewis is holding something in his hands and Donner seems to be holding a videorecorder. They make some step into the room just to stop in front of them all. Lewis clears his voice)
Lewis: it's not a woman
Webber: how can you say it? (the two officers look at each other. It's Donner who speaks).
Donner: after the merger your internal security staff was informed about problems and tensions rising between the co-workers. Stupid stuff like little thefts, spites. But, with the authorization of Mr. Falk..
Jennings: from the Board?
Donner: yeah... they installed security cameras in some strategic spots.
Lewis: and that elevator was one of them.
Hunt: wait... (he passes his hand on his eyes in a nervous gesture) Do you mean that the camera has filmed the whole scene?
Lewis: yes... Unfortunately, from the camera perspective, we can't see the attacker's face. But we can say for sure it's not a woman.
Bailey: so... what... ?
Donner: we need your help. You should make a list of all the people who could have had interest and reasons to harm Dr. Sheperd.
Webber: this is not so difficult to do. Derek had not... has not personal enemies. All I can think about is something work relied. Maybe some old patient or relative.... but even this.... is unreasonable.
Lewis: people can be sick Dr. Webber. Not necessarily the harm they get, if they ever got one, can be compared to the offense they do. But I would search in real cases by now.
Richard: all Derek's files are in there. You can take a look at them. Even now.
Lewis: I can but.... I am not very medicine oriented and it would take me weeks to understand a tenth of what it's reported in there. And believe me, we don't have so much time.
Donner: usually these kinds of things find a solution in 4-5 days when the track is still warm. I'd really appreciate your help.
Richard: ok....
Arizona and Callie are taking care of their patient. A 14 years old. He has been admitted for a fall during the gym lesson at school.
Greg: I hate soccer! I told my teacher I did not want to play. The others become fools while playing and kick everywhere but the ball. It's a miracle I have just broken my leg.
Arizona: Greg... slow down... we don't know if it's broken for sure
Callie: even if it's very likely. Why do you play soccer anyway? It's not a real sport
Arizona: what?
Callie: I don't call a sport a trick when you have to kick the ball instead of grabbing it. It's kind of.... girly game.
Greg: thank you
Callie: why?
Greg: if I end up here playing a girly game, I don't want to know what would be of me in a manly one
Arizona: smart...
Callie: ok brave heart... let's go to take X-Rays
Teddy, Reed and Avery finally join their patient room. The boy has a wide baseball cap on his head and they can hardly see his face.
Teddy: good evening Mr..... Doe (the boy raises his head and Avery stops in his tracks)
Avery: holy crap.... (Teddy turns to look at him)
Teddy: is there a problem Dr. Avery?
Avery: no.... he is Michael Waits.
Teddy: no, it's Doe in the chart. You must have taken him for...
Boy: he is right (Teddy stares at him). I gave a false name for the admission.
Teddy: why? I don't get it...
Avery: as he is the coolest quarterback Seattle football team has ever had.
Michael: and I didn't want press to know I was here
Teddy: ok... we'll respect your privacy. So.... are your medical history true or you cheated even in there?
Michael: it's true. I came here as, sometimes, after the training sessions, I have heavy pains in my chest. I told my coach but he has always dismissed me telling I was a coward. But it hurts and after today's session I decided to come here.
Teddy: we'll run some test (she starts writing) Blood, urines and then ECG at rest and under effort. Even if, with all the controls you make at NFL, I am not confident we'll find something. I leave you with my team (she smiles and goes away. She takes the elevator to the intensive care unit floor. She exits the doors and takes a corridor. She sees Mark out of Derek's room) Hey…
Mark: hey… are you still here?
Teddy: to tell the truth my shift started 3 hours ago (she looks in the room) I have to check on him but I can come back later if she wants…
Mark: no, just do it. She won't leave that soon.
Teddy: is she his mom?
Mark: yeah… mine too (he opens the door for her and they both go in. Mrs. Sheperd is stroking her thumb on Derek's backhand. She turns around to see the two doctors coming to the bed. She wipes some tear away)
Mrs. Sheperd: I'm sorry (she is stroking her eyes)
Mark: what for? You don't need to hide tears…. This is Dr. Altman, Teddy, she is the person in charge of checking on him.
Mrs. Sheperd: and your friend (she stands up and stretches her hand) Nice to meet you. I hadn't met you on my previous visit.
Teddy: no… I've been working here for three months (she feels Derek's mum grip on her hand. It's firm but gentle at the same time, warm and polite. She smiles and then lets go of her hand). Excuse me (she approaches the machines in the corner of the room. She presses a button and a print comes out of the equipment. A little frown appears on her forehead)
Mrs. Sheperd: what's wrong? (Teddy turns on her heels)
Teddy: excuse me?
Mrs. Sheperd: I've been a nurse for 30 years and, no offence, I've learnt to read doctors's expressions. Yours means troubles.
Teddy: no… don't worry. The pressure is a bit high but we can fix it (she opens the chart and writes some note). I'll come back later with a nurse (she turns around and leaves. Right after the corner she exhales heavily and shakes her head)
(Meredith is in her bed awake. She is wearing Derek's shirt and her right arm is spread to the place he usually sleeps in. Lexie knocks and enters the room)
Lexie: you're awake…. I just wanted to see if you needed anything…. Good night then (she is going out when Meredith calls her back)
Meredith: stay here… sleep here with me. Please…. (Lexie closes the door and approaches the bed from Derek's side). No! (Lexie stops thinking Meredith has changed her mind) This side. I don't want the bed to lose his shape… his warmth…. His scent….. (Meredith hugs Derek's pillow and Lexie lays with her)
(It's late night and Richard, Bailey and Hunt are still in Derek's office. They have analyzed all the files of Derek's patients. They all look exhausted).
Lewis: so?
Webber: I have found just one name. Greene. It's the most recent one. His wife died here ten days ago (he handles him the file)
Lewis: but it's not one of his cases
Webber: it's mine. But it was Derek who told Mr. Greene we had to take her off the ventilator.
Lewis: you don't seem so sure…
Webber: it's just… He is a middle aged man, he was upset but not a psyco murderer. I can't see any of these people doing something like that.
Lewis: Dr. Hunt?
Hunt: nothing here (he has a high pile of files in front of him)
Lewis: Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: only one. Jen's husband. Six months ago.
Donner: Sheperd's case?
Bailey: yes
Donner: was he the only one working on it? (Bailey scans the chart)
Bailey: Meredith, Karev and Addison worked on it too (the cop looks at her waiting for explanations) Addison is his ex wife. She leaves in LA. Alex is a resident here and his roommate. Meredith is his wife.
Lewis: we'll ask Karev.
Hunt: what? (Lewis inhales deeply)
Lewis: the only thing we have is the tape. You have seen these people. You are the only one who could recognize them.
Bailey: I don't understand… (Hunt sits on the couch raking his hand in his hair)
Lewis: I know it's the most cruel thing I could ask you… but I have. You should watch the tape. You and this Karev…
Bailey: you can't ask us this (tears start pooling in the corner of her eyes)
Donner: I'm sorry but it's the only way. Think about it (we'll meet here tomorrow morning).
It rolls… (night becomes soon morning and the sun shines high in Seattle's sky)
Webber is waiting in a conference room near the resident's locker room. He notices Cristina and Karev passing out of the door. He immediately stands up and goes after them
Webber: Dr. Karev…. (they both turn around)
Alex: yes sir?
Webber: I need you… (Alex looks down and opens his arms)
Alex: I have to change but I'll be ready…
Webber: no, it doesn't matter you change into your scrubs. It's not necessary (he gestures Alex to follow him)
Cristina: is there something wrong?
Webber: it's fine… everything is fine (he starts to walk down the corridors and Alex follows him without asking. A frown paints his face when he realizes they are going to the chief's office)
Alex: what…?
Webber: go in, I'll tell you (Alex enters and sees Hunt and Bailey are in the room too. There are also two other people) These are SGPD cops… We need your help and I want you to know this is not going to be easy on you.
Bailey: it's not easy on us too…
Alex: ok….
Owen: it seems that there was a camera in the elevator. We have isolated some people who could have it in for Derek
Bailey: one of these people is Jen's husband. You were on that case so…. (Alex nods without saying anything)
Lewis: we are ready…. (Alex sits on the couch with the other doctors) I know you are doctors and you are trained to face a lot of situations but…. I think it's better I tell you that images are really cruel and…. You can say stop if you want (he moves to a chair, the remote in his hand. He pushes the play button and images tune. The elevator's door open to reveal a smirking Derek. He has a moment of hesitation before going in. It looks like he is staring at something strange. Then he enters. Door close and he takes the cell from his pocket. Then suddenly looks up abruptly and a man attacks him from behind. The man closes an arm around his neck and the image pauses right before the knife enters Derek's back)
Hunt: that coward, son of the bitch attacked him behind his back… (Bailey has stated to cry and Webber keeps swallowing)
Lewis: so…. What can you tell me?
Alex: it's not Jen's husband… he was shorter than me…. That man (he points to the TV) is too high to be him…
Donner: are you sure?
Alex: yes… I'm pretty sure
Hunt: it's weird….
Lewis: what?
Hunt: he did not seem scared or surprised when he saw the person in the elevator. He also turned his back to him. It can't be a person he was afraid of.
Bailey: maybe he didn't think he could be capable of doing this…
Donner: what do you tell me about the other suspect…. Mr. Greene?
Webber: I don't know….. From the height it could be him. Or not. I really don't know (doctors seem upset and the two cops look at each other)
Lewis: can we…. do you feel to go on? (even if they don't answer, after some minute he resumes the video. The doctors flinch for the violence radiating from the screen. They watch horrified when Derek, laying on the elevator floor, rips the knife off his own stomach. He curls up on himself till the attacker kicks him and has him roll on his back. Bailey is shaking and suddenly stands up)
Bailey: I can't do this anymore….. I….I'm sorry (she leaves the room. The cop stops the images. The tv shows the unknown man kneeled on Derek)
Teddy, Avery and Reed enters Michael's room.
Teddy: good morning Mr. Doe…. How did the night go?
Michael: good…. A nurse has awaken me at 4, another at 5, the last one at 6.
Avery: didn't you know that hospital is the last place on earth you can sleep well?
Michael: no… but thanks for telling me…. So? Did you find something?
Teddy: no… Doctor Reed…
Reed: I have just picked your exams from laboratory. Blood and urines tests are fine.
Michael: you look surprised…
Teddy: I am indeed. I expected to find some strange parameter but…. Nothing.
Michael: sorry to fail you…. (Teddy sits on the side of his bed)
Teddy: I want to be franc to you…. I'm tired and I don't want to waste my time… Have you ever made use of drugs or pills or… whatever?
Michael: what? Are you kidding, aren't you?
Teddy: do I look like I'm doing?
Michael: no… And no! I'm a pro. And I'm a natural. I don't need to pump my muscles with crap to be an champ. Maybe it was a mistake to come here… (he throws the sheet away. Teddy stops him)
Teddy: no… you did good. I just wanted to be sure… (she handles his chart to Avery) Go on with the ECG….
Avery: it seems we are going to see you in action….
Michael: you won't forget it…
Callie is sitting in a dark room. Arizona enters with a big envelop.
Arizona: here I am…
Callie: well…. I can't stand that boy anymore. He can't do anything but talking…. (Arizona laughs and takes the scans out of the envelop. She puts them on a screen and turns the light on. Smile immediately disappears) Oh my God… Look at those bones…. They are like…
Arizona: Gruyere.
Callie: I've never seen such an advanced osteoporosis in a kid….
Arizona: he must be in a lot of pain…. How is it possible he never realized…. (a nurse enters the room)
Nurse: excuse me. Greg's parents are here
Callie: thank you (the nurse leaves the room and they keep staring at the scans)
Meredith is crossing the hall. Cristina sees and joins her.
Cristina: hey
Meredith: hi (they are in front of the elevator. The doors open and they go in. Meredith pushes the button of the surgery floor. Halfway, Cristina realizes she is shaking and sobbing)
Cristina: Mer… (she hugs her rubbing her back)
Meredith: I used to love elevators before… It's the first place we shared a real kiss, it's where we used to talk, it's where he proposed and I said yes…. But know….. I can't stand staying in here (she starts hyperventilating)
Cristina: Mer.. you need to calm down…. Breath….. Slow…… In and out (Meredith seems to calm down)
Meredith: Cristina….
Cristina: mmmm?
Meredith: I'm not giving birth
Cristina: I was just trying to be useful… I've never been that great in the supporting thing…..
Meredith: you are doing great…. And you can let go of me now
Cristina: oh… (she lets Meredith)
Meredith: have you seen Bailey?
Cristina: no…. and even not Webber. Why?
Meredith: I just wanted to ask some day off. Officially.
Cristina: it's a good idea. Are you going to see Derek? (Meredith does not answer) Meredith?
Meredith: I need to find Bailey
Lexie has joined Derek's room. She looks inside and sees that anybody is in. She opens the door and enters. She feels stifled by the silence filling the room. The monitors beep seems stranger and enemy. She gets closer, her knee can touch Derek's bed. She has to breath out loudly when she notices all the tubes and hooks coming out of Derek's body. This all feels so unreal that she can swear that, opening her eyes, everything will disappear, Derek will open his eyes and take fun of her. She tries…. But finally Derek is still asleep and a tear escapes her eyes. She sits down, she keeps staring at him but sorrow crushes her soul and she can't even speak. Finally she clears her throat.
Lexie: Derek?..... I'm Lexie….. I'm…. Lexie Grey…. (she hits her forehead) Crap, Lexie…. You are such an idiot! He knows who the hell you are and…. You're rambling… so stop and….try again. Derek… I'm Lexie and I'm here right beside you (she takes his limp hand from the sheet and squeezes it). I know that you can hear me… Maybe you can…. Do you remember the first time we met? I was at Joe's and I tried to pick you up… You said no…. And then the day after I got you were my sister's boyfriend… I was lucky you dismissed me…. She loved you so much and still does… I have never seen Meredith so happy than in the last weeks… not that I know her much longer. We have bound…. Thanks to you…. Don't you think I ignore you played a great role in that… She gave me a second occasion because you pushed her too and I'll always be grateful for that…. I'm sorry I disappointed you with Mark's thing…. I know he had promised you but…. I'm happy he broke it…. The promise I mean…. Not your face…. That, the fighting and almost killing one the other was not good. Not at all. You made up now… Mark will be your children's godfather one day…. I know you are tired but, seriously, you need to come back here. To Meredith and…. Us. You need to do it. Now (Lexie hears someone coughing and sees a stranger woman staring at her from the door)
Katherine: excuse me but…. Who are you? (Lexie is speechless, she puts Derek's hand down and stands up. When she finds herself in front of the woman, Mark enters the door)
Mark: Lexie… (he kisses her) Katherine…. This is Lexie, my girlfriend. Lexie… Katherine is one of Derek's sisters
Lexie: hi (Nancy has joined them too)
Nancy: girlfriend? (the three of them turn to look at her). Seattle's air has screwed yours and Derek's brain….
(Mr. Lewis comes back in the office. A thick silence is hovering in the room. He is a an unshakable man but he can't help to feel compassion for the three doctors in front of him. He pats Webber shoulder and is going to speak when his cell rings. He exhales and picks the phone up)
Lewis: Lewis…. Uhmmm… uhmmm. Are you sure? Another waterhole then… Ok… We'll cancel him from suspects. Bye Donner, good work (he hangs up and looks at them all). Mr. Greene has a alibi. He was here, in the hospital, in a rehab problem. My men went to check: the doctor who took him in charge confirmed he stayed there from 2 to 19. He can't be our man
(Hunt breaths out heavily)
Hunt: was there anything else strange in the video?
Lewis: yes… there were some spots who caught our attention but we were not able to understand them
Hunt: do you want us to try to do it?
Lewis: if you feel up…. (Alex stands up wetting his sweated hands on his pants)
Alex: I don't…. I'm sorry….. I'm going to see Meredith tonight and I'm not sure I'll be able to look her in the eyes after this (he points to the tv). I can't…. (he leaves the room)
Webber: keep going (Lewis turns the tv on. The image is still at the spot they left)
Lewis: it's going to be even….
Webber: I said go
Lewis: ok… (he resumes the tape. The camera is behind the attacker's back. Derek's lips move and the man keeps him from the collar, he slams him violently back on the floor and seeing Derek so unarmed and defenceless takes the air out of Richard's lungs)
Hunt: stop… (Lewis stops the registration). Derek has said something to him. Something like do not hurt her or touch her.
Lewis: how do you know?
Hunt: I have seen a lot of these things… in Iraq. I can read people's labial. He has told him and this has turned the attacker even more aggressive.
Webber: do you think she was talking about Meredith?
Hunt: who else?
Lewis: so… are you suggesting that we should look in his wife's life? (they don't answer….) Ok…. There was something else worth of interest… Look (he resumed the video and stops it after ten seconds). He has shown him something before hitting him again. But I don't have a clue of what it could be.
Webber: it looks like a headed hospital paper…
Lewis: yes… but this does not mean anything… (he lifts a block notes with the same logo)
Webber: it does not seem the usual logo to me.
Lewis: are you sure?
Webber: yes
Lewis: It'd be vital for us to know what that page was about…
Webber: I just can't remember it now.
Lewis: maybe you will after a good sleep. You deserve it. And me too. Let's go home (he stands but notices that Webber's and Owen's looks are fix on the screen) I advise you against going ahead but… (he leaves the remote on the couch and leaves the room. Webber takes the remote, his eyes lock for a moment with Owen's and then he pushes the button. They look at the stranger exposing Derek's body to take aim, they look at Sheperd closing his eyes waiting for the man to lower the knife on him again and again. Tears stream their faces while staring powerless to the stranger attacking furiously a defenceless man)
Michael is running on a running carpet. There are sensors on his chest.
Avery: wow…. You're not even sweating….
Michael: it's my job and this looks like a promenade (Teddy enters the room)
Teddy: hei… how is it going?
Reed: we are almost done. 1 minute to go (Teddy approaches the machine and looks at the values)
Teddy: everything looks normal… but
Reed: but? (the carpet speed has decreased, Michael is walking)
Teddy: I… here… (she looks up to see the guy clutching a hand on his chest) Are you ok?
Michael: it hurts…. (Teddy brings him to the stretcher)
Teddy: lay down (she takes the stethoscope and listens to his heart beat) Here it is….
Avery: what?
Teddy: a murmur… a huge one.
Avery: it's impossible… He could not be a pro with a heart murmur
Michael: is it bad?
Teddy: it is as you are a player… I just can't understand why anyone ever noticed anything…. Are you not tested?
Michael: every season… and we make visits also for sports insurance.
Teddy: oh…
Michael: what?
Teddy: do you take care personally of this?
Michael: no, my agent does.
Teddy: I think it's time you tell him you are here. And he gives us some explanations.
Greg's mum: I don't understand…. You told us he had a fractured leg and now… (his husband takes her hand)
Callie: we did not expect to find this. But X-Rays revealed it.
Arizona: his medical history did not let us foresee anything like osteoporosis.
Callie: I'm even surprised he has never complained about pain…
Greg's dad: he has but…. How could we know?
Callie: you couldn't. The most important thing now is treat him in the best possible way.
Greg's mum: what do you mean?
Arizona: osteoporosis is a degenerative illness. We have to start immediately to stop it.
Callie: there will be many things he could not do anymore. Playing soccer… gymnastics… It will be hard, he is just 14. He will need your support. We have to go and tell him now.
Meredith spots Bailey in a patient's room. She waits for her outside.
Meredith: Dr. Bailey…..
Bailey: Meredith…. (she rubs her arm in a tender gesture noticing how tired and upset Meredith is). What can I do for you?
Meredith: I just wanted to take some day off but I don't know who I have to ask and…
Bailey: I don't know it even… but don't worry about this. I'll fix things (Meredith notices Bailey can't stand her look). I saw all Derek's family is here.
Meredith: yes…(she looks down and kicks the air)
Bailey: but you haven't met them… have you? (Meredith breaths out. Bailey takes her hand). Grey… Meredith… I know this is hard for you more than for anyone else but you're strong. You're tiny but strong and Derek needs to feel you beside him. You don't have to stay away from him. Talk to him. Let him feel you are here.
Meredith: I'm not… (she looks up crying) I am not ready to go in there yet… I have tried when anybody was in but…. I stop at the door and I'm not able to step in.. He looks like he is sleeping now but… I keep seeing him in that elevator and…. I can't get rid of panic…. I'm not good enough to… (she wipes tears away)
Bailey: in health and sickness, Grey. You need to go in there. If something occurred to him and you weren't there…. You'd not forgive yourself.
Meredith: why do you tell me this? Is he worsening or….
Bailey: no… but you know it's bad… He needs all the support we can give him (Meredith looks at her in a haze, she is there but distant, she passes rapidly a hand on her stomach and tears start to roll on her cheeks again. Bailey has caught the movement). Meredith…. (but she is walking down the corridor. Derek's mum sees her too but the elevator's doors close before she can join her)
Lexie in the resident's lounge. She is brushing her hair and looking herself in the mirror. She stops when she sees Mark's image reflected in the mirror.
Lexie: hey…
Mark: you are here… I've been looking for you for a while after…. Listen Lexie, you don't have to pay attention to Nancy. She is nasty and she is even worse now Derek is… like this…
Lexie: she doesn't like me.
Mark: I can count on my fingers the people she likes. And, seeing she has three sisters, a brother, a mother, a husband and three kids… there is no much space left for others. Anyway… I found sweet what you were doing in there…
Lexie: yeah…
Mark: Lexie, please… look at me (he pulls her arm and turns her around). Don't push me away…
Lexie: I'm not but… I slept with Meredith last night and she has cried the whole time. I was there and there was nothing I could tell to comfort her… So I thought talking to Derek would have been easier but… (she shakes her head and goes back brushing her hair). It breaks my heart to see him like that knowing that Meredith is…. And he does not…. Screw … (she starts sobbing. Mark hugs her)
Mark: hey…. Slow down…. What are you talking about?
Lexie: nothing…. But…. I'm an idiot as I'm here crying and he is your best friend and I have not asked you yet how you feel.
Mark: I'm good. Kind of…. I've tried to keep my mind busy with some stupid stuff but… I took some day off…
Lexie: do you know who is responsible for the department now?
Mark: I don't have a clue.
Alex comes out from the men's toilet. He is rubbing his face after splashing it with cold water. The images he has seen flash in his mind. He breaths in and out trying to get self control back. Cristina joins him in the corridor.
Cristina: you look like crap…. He squeezed you like a lemon….
Alex: what are you talking about?
Cristina: Webber… the man who asked your help this morning. I guess you filled all his charts…
Alex: I did not (he stops and his voice is really annoyed. He looks upset)
Cristina: ok…. Relax…. It looks like you've seen a ghost.
Alex: kind of…. (Cristina looks at him stunned but she is more stunned to see Owen appearing behind Alex's backs)
Owen: hey…. (he looks so intensely at her that Alex understands they need some time alone and goes away)
Cristina: you're still here…
Owen: can we talk for a moment? (he enters an OC room and she follows him. He lays on a bed) I'm broken (he closes his eyes and buries his head in the pillow)
Cristina: where have you been the whole day? You were nowhere to be found.
Owen: I was in Sheperd's office with Webber and the cops. They wanted to know a lot of things.
Cristina: do they have some evidence? (Hunt looks deeply at her but decides to lie)
Owen: no. And all the suspects turned out to have an alibi (a heavy silence fills the room). I'm going to stay… for a while. I'm not leaving. Not after what happened.
Cristina: and your rehab program?
Owen: I'll find something else. Now I need to be here. If you are ok with it.
Cristina: why shouldn't I be?
Owen: as I was an ass to you. I didn't mean to hurt you, Cristina. You have to believe… I may have done it… I did it but I didn't want… It's just… I feel like a avalanche fell on me and I can't understand where the way out is… This is maddening to me (he is raking his hair)
Cristina: you were the only one thinking straight in there… You may be under an avalanche and a mess but… you still do a great surgeon… You always find the way out in medicine…
Owen: I think it's one of the few things that kept me alive… and it still does.
Cristina: what happened in there?
Owen: excuse me?
Cristina: both you and Alex… you seem shocked and even scared I would say… What happened today?
Owen: don't ask me that, Cristina… Just don't…. I can't tell you and even if I could…. I'd never…..
Cristina: ok…. (she lays a hand on his). I'm sorry (they share an intense look and Cristina kisses him on the cheek before going away. A smile appears on her lips and she feels the urge of talking to someone. Without even realizing it she finds herself sit in the chair besides Derek's bed). I think I'm in love this time… I really am in love… I'm… I can't not believe how cheesy it tastes on my tongue (she crosses her arms on her chest and stretches her legs). I don't know what to do… He is a mess… He is nice, intense and kind of impetuous. But sweet too… I can't believe I'm saying this crap. It's on you. You took the romantic stuff in our lives, you and all your overpoliteness. What should I do now? Maybe I should let him go or fight to convince him to stay here… What do you think? Ah… never mind. You're McDreamy after all. You're all for love… I suggest you to move your ass… You have always lost too much of McPeanut's life (she stands up and leaves)
An old man enters the department. He looks around disoriented and then joins the nurses station.
Man: excuse me madam…
Nurse: yes sir?
Man: my friend called me. He told me to come here and ask of Dr. Altman (the nurse picks up the phone but then puts it down when sees Teddy walking towards them)
Nurse: Dr. Altman….
Teddy: Yes?
Nurse: this man is looking for you.
Teddy: hi… I'm Dr. Altman. How can I help you?
Man: I'm Stuart Payne. You called me.
Teddy: yes… you're Michael's agent (they shake hands). Come with me (they enter Michael's room. He is there with Reed and Avery)
Stuart: Mike… what's going on?
Michael: you should tell me…
Teddy: Michael has come here because he felt strong pains in the chest.
Stuart: again? I told you dude… It's just stress.
Avery: it's not
Teddy: we have diagnosed him a heart murmur.
Stuart: what is that?
Avery: there is a little hole in his heart and it does not work properly.
Teddy: but that's not new to you… You knew….
Stuart: I don't know what you are talking about. Look Mike, you should come out of here. These are fools. We'll go to our doctors.
Michael: sure… so that they can lie again? How long have you been knowing this?
Stuart: I….
Michael: how long?
Stuart: since last year but you don't need to worry… I hid it for you
Teddy: his heart could fail any moment. You did it for you. With the smugness of your insurance.
Michael: this is the reason why you never wanted me to talk to doctors directly…. This is why you picked that company and never wanted to change it. I trusted you… and you put my life in danger…. Get the hell out of here. Get the hell out of here! (the man leaves the room). What do we do now?
Teddy: we'll run some more test tomorrow. There is a chance we can fix the problem with a surgery. But I can't tell you anything till we have a complete picture of the situation. Just try to rest now.
Callie and Arizona enter Greg's room with his parents.
Greg: Mum… Dad….. you came back…
Greg's mum: of course we did… How do you feel? (she gets closer to the bed and kisses him on the forehead)
Greg: I'm fine. But I won't play soccer anymore (Callie and Arizona look at each other)
Callie: Greg… Your x-rays revealed something more than a simple fracture…
Arizona: you have an illness called osteoporosis
Greg: is it bad?
Callie: it can be… do you know what it is?
Greg: no… but I read on the milk box that you don't get it if you drink milk every day…
Arizona: it is not so simple… By the way it means that your bones are fragile… there are little holes inside and they could break easily.
Greg: so…
Callie: so you're going to start a treatment stat but…
Greg: there are a lot of things I won't do anymore…
Arizona: yes…
Greg's dad: but we can go fishing. You have always wished to go. I forced you in all other sports but… we can still go fishing if you want
Greg: seriously?
Greg's dad: sure… We'll go camping every time you want and catch a lot of trouts.
Greg: Mum hates trouts.
Greg's mum: you can say it loud…You won't take dead fishes in my house.
Greg: but you cook them all the time…
Greg's mum: when someone cleans them out. And the fish I buy at the supermarket is not so smelly… Anyway… I can make the sacrifice if you want…
Greg: I'd love it
Teddy pages Webber in a conference room. He arrives after few minutes.
Webber: Dr. Altman… did you page me?
Teddy: yes… it's better you sit. We have a problem. With Sheperd (she handles him the chart) I checked on him every six hours. Every six hours the pressure was a bit too high. I tried to fix it with drugs but… it's not working.
Webber: what do you suggest?
Teddy: we need to operate or he risks a brain haemorrhage.
Webber: is it because of the fragment?
Teddy: yes… the aorta is crushed. The heart does not work regularly. All the organism is in distress. We have tried but… we can't wait anymore. Tomorrow will be the third day he is in a coma. The more we wait, the more his body weakens.
Webber: we have to ask the authorization to the family.
Teddy: that's why I called you. I am not a gossip girl but, from what I know, Derek and Meredith are not legally married. What do I have to do?
Webber: I'll call Meredith and his mother too. And I hope this won't blow up on our faces
It hits the first trees… and becomes stronger and stronger….
(he leaves the room and goes to Derek's room. He finds his mum there. He coughs to make his presence known). Mrs. Sheperd….
Mrs. Sheperd: Dr. Webber…. I was afraid you were avoiding me…
Dr. Webber: not at all… I've been busy with… bureaucratic stuff… I'm sorry I could not come first.
Mrs. Sheperd: Derek has always told me you were franc and true… So I ask you this… Is he going to wake up? I have five children… They are all doctors and my daughters are saying a lot of things but I get a few of them… Tell me please…
Dr. Webber: I would like to tell you he will but… I don't know. His body suffered a great stress, it's still in distress. The surgery was really hard on him. It could take some day but… even more (Derek's sisters enter the room). I came here also because we have organized a summit tomorrow morning to give you the updates…
Mrs. Sheperd: we'll be there.
Webber: ok… Goodnight
You see it coming… and you suddenly feel small and powerless.
(another night passes quickly. Rain welcomes the new day.
All the Sheperds and Mark are in a conference room with Richard and Teddy)
Nancy: so… what are we waiting for?
Mark: I think we are… (he stops when he notices Bailey arriving with Meredith. Everyone turns to look at her. Derek's mum stands up and hugs her)
Mrs. Sheperd: sweetheart…
Nancy: it's good to see you. Finally (Meredith does not answer and sits between Bailey and Webber).
Teddy: so… we wanted to inform you about his conditions. Maybe you are already aware that, in the previous surgery, we could not remove a fragment placed close to his heart. And it's what is causing distress now. We have kept a constant monitoring on his blood pressure but… by now…. We can't control it with drugs anymore. We have already faced and overcome some crises but, now, you have a choice to make.
Mrs. Sheperd: what do you mean?
Webber: she means that the high pressure is compromising the situation. Which is already precarious.
Mrs. Sheperd: I got that Richard… What I don't get is the choice we have to make. I'm not a doctor but I have understood there is no choice here. You have to operate again.
Mark: what they are trying to say is that surgery is very risky now. He could not… survive it.
Webber: I know it's hard but…. You need to decide…
Meredith: I think…. (everyone turns to look at her. Her eyes are on the table and she is fidgeting with her clock nervously) if he could decide on his own… I think he would choose to do it…. Surgery
Nancy: and how do you know?
Meredith: I… I'm….. He is a doctor. He trusts medicine and he trusts his co workers. I think he would pick the chance….
Nancy: please… you know what? I don't even know why you're here..
Mark: Stop bitching around! She is his wife and she has the damned right to be in here…
Nancy: wife?
Amelia: what are you talking about? Did he get married without saying anything?
Nancy: Jeez… this is ridiculous…. He is even more stupid of what I thought (Meredith stands up)
Meredith: I go… I have to go now (she leaves)
Nancy: yes… go the hell out of here
It destroys everything you've ever wanted… your future… your perspectives
Mark: you are overdoing here… You don't have the right to do this…
Nancy: shut up Mark! Are you going to pick her side in this thing? Because this is your family! Not her. We took you as our brother. We kept your secret all the months you screwed his wife behind his back…
Mrs Sheperd: did you know?
Nancy: of course we knew. Derek was the only one not to know it. He realized three months later when he bumped his pretty nose against it (all the doctors look at Derek's sisters bewildered. Derek's mum stands up and sends a strict look to all her daughters)
Mrs. Sheperd: that's why he got married without saying anything…. Maybe she is not legally his wife but… it's what Derek wants. He loves her. And you…. Just be ashamed of yourselves… I'm sorry Dr. Webber…. I thought I had raised …. different people… (she leaves the room leaving them all silent. Meredith is walking without destination down the corridors. She arrives without noticing in front of Dr. Wyatt's door. She enters without knocking and goes sitting on the couch without even realizing Owen is also there with the psychologist. They both look at her realizing she is in a deep haze. Owen swallows and gets up to leave)
Meredith: I screwed everything up. Just like you…
Owen: what?
Meredith: I screwed everything up. With the marriage… the post it…. I would have never thought this could happen to us…
Dr. Wyatt: I'm sorry Dr. Grey… I see you are very upset but…. You have to explain me better… I don't get.
Meredith: they kicked me out… Derek's sisters… As I'm not his real wife… And they're there deciding if he should have surgery or not and…. It's not fair because…. He could die…. He could die and I can't be there… It's…. I have never thought to legal stuff… to obligations… to settle our marriage because our post it was all we needed… And now…. It's meaningless…
Owen: it's not (he sits near Meredith). It's everything. You love each other. Derek loves you and needs you. You're the only person he cares of… Even when…. He always had you in his mind… You can't give up like that.
Dr. Wyatt: you see? I'm not the only one saying this. You've grown… If I remember the first time you came here… you were fragile and unsure. Now… you are here and Owen… is right (Meredith looks up at him)
Meredith: was he scared? (Owen swallows. The camera's images flash in his mind but he pushes them away)
Owen: no… he was worried about you. The only thing he said was for you and I think you should be in his room talking to him and holding his hand (a tear rolls on Meredith's cheek, she wipes it away and then stands up)
Meredith: I'm sorry I interrupted you… (she joins the door and takes the door knob. She turns around) Dr. Wyatt?
Dr. Wyatt: yes?
Meredith: fix him too. He is not that bad after all (she gives them a small smile and leaves)
Dr. Wyatt: I think we are not that far…
But you need to hold on… to keep breathing under the mountain crushing you
Cristina enters the resident's lounge running. Alex and Lexie are there too.
Cristina: crap… I'm late. That stupid motorcycle did not want to start… (she throws her helmet in the locker and pulls her scrubs out. She starts stripping quickly) Have you seen Meredith?
Lexie: no… she left early this morning, with Mark.
Cristina: why?
Lexie: Derek's conditions are worsening and there was a kind of meeting to decide what to do.
Alex: if they do surgery now… it's just like killing him.
Lexie: but not doing it will kill him as well. He could develop a bleeding in every moment. Organs are failing and if Dr. Altman can try something… she has to try it now (Bailey enters the door).
Bailey: ER paged us… we need to go downstairs
Lexie: Dr. Bailey….
Bailey: I know what you are going to ask but I don't know anything yet. They haven't decided. Move…. (she leaves and the guys exit too)
Cristina: where are the Mercy Wester's?
Alex: Avery and Reed are working with Altman… Kepner, I don't know. It's ages I don't see her.
Cristina: and Charlie Brown?
Alex: he does not work here anymore. Torres fired him.
Cristina: Torres? What, is she the new interim chief?
Lexie: no… I think the Board has not decided yet what to do. Do you think… they will restore Webber?
Cristina: that would be gross…
Alex: it's the only thing they can do… I don't see anyone else around.
Cristina: anyone better than an alcoholic? Shadow Sheperd would be better too. There is Bailey, Altman, Owen, Sloan… We have plenty of nominees.
Alex: I heard Hunt was taking a leave… Has he changed his mind?
Cristina: I think he wants to wait and see how the Sheperd's thing go… Have you met Derek's sisters?
Lexie: yes…. Two are kind but the others… are really mean
Alex: Izzie named them McBitchty…
Lexie: it's too generous… (they open the ER'S door and look stunned in front of them)
Alex: what the hell….
(the ER is a real mess, there are dozens of hurt, bloody people around)
Bailey: move! You are not here to watch!
Cristina: what happened?
Bailey: it looks like there was an accident during the circus show.
Cristina: accident? What…
Bailey: Yang… I'm not a freaking reporter. Take this chart and take care of the patient in there. Hunt will join you asap. Karev, you are with Sloan.
Lexie: but he is off today…
Bailey: I paged him as well… You come with me and the Dr. Webber. Let's go, move! (after some more seconds of staring, Cristina enters the visit room. A man is laying crying on a gurney)
Cristina: sir… (the door slams open and Owen comes in. He looks at her quickly and then takes the chart)
Owen: what have we got?
Cristina: I was reading it myself… I've just come in (he keeps reading and gets closer to the patient)
Owen: Mr. Vibe?
Patient: it's me
Owen: what happened?
Patient: the damned elephant went crazy and… it hurled me against a pole
Cristina: what?
Owen: ok… I need to visit you… (he starts touching the patient's arms to check eventual fractures). Do you feel any pain? (the patient laughs)
Patient: what do you think? That damned animal threw me away like I was a doll… I…. my chest hurt (Owen lifts his clothes and see a lot of dark bruises darkening the man's body)
Owen: Dr. Yang?
Cristina: yes sir…
Owen: book an OR
Cristina: excuse me?
Owen: book an OR
Cristina: but we've not finished the visit yet… How can you know he needs surgery?
Owen: because I still can see (he picks up the phone himself and Cristina glances at the patient's injuries)
Cristina: crap…
Sloan enters the visit room still in his street clothes. Alex is already in.
Sloan: what have we got?
Alex: Gretchen, 23 years, she has a suspected concussion and a deep cut in the left cheek (a nurse helps Mark to wear the emergency yellow coat and gloves. He gets near the patient). I paged Shadow Sheperd.
Mark: Gretchen… can you hear me?
Gretchen: yes.. how bad is it?
Mark: we have to check on everything but… let me take a look (he discovers the girl's face from the bandage. The cut is so deep that he can see the bone). It's deep. I need antibiotics and disinfectant. Gretchen… the cut is deep. I have to clean it and give some stitches.
Gretchen: stitches? On my face? No… I don't want… I… you can't do that
Mark: don't worry. I'm a plastic surgeon. I'll do a good job.
Gretchen: but there will be scars… I can't have scars on my face… I was called to make a set on the local tv night show. They won't pick me if I become a monster.
Mark: hey… you won't become a monster. But we have to sew the cut to prevent infections. And believe me, an infection would make worse damages then stitches. So just relax and trust me. Your face will be prettier than ever…
Lexie follows Bailey and Webber in the visit room. She freezes on the entrance to see the patient laying on the stretcher. The man's body is covered in blood and some broken bone has pierced the skin and sticks out from his body. A woman is holding his hand. She cries and keeps calling his name.
Woman: Mike… please talk to me.
Bailey: madam… you can't be in here. You need to wait out.
Woman: but he is my husband and he saved me. I was on its way and he pushed me aside and the elephant trod him. Is he going to be fine, isn't he? Please (Bailey is pushing her out)
Bailey: we'll do what we can but now you need to let us work. And we can't do if you are here. Please… wait there (the woman finally goes away and Bailey closes the door. She turns around and sees Webber has already started to visit the man)
Webber: Mike…. Can you hear me? (the man is unconscious) He does not answer to external stimulations… And he is not breathing fine. It's better we intubate him. Grey…. Handle me the tube please (Lexie goes to the cart and takes what necessary. She handles the tools to Webber. While he is intubating the man Callie slams the door open)
Callie: did you page me?
Bailey: yes… he is all yours… (Callie takes a look at the man and notices the bad fractures)
Callie: what the hell happened to him? Was he hit by a truck? (she starts visiting him)
Bailey: an elephant…
Callie: what? (she looks up at Bailey) Are you taking fun of me?
Bailey: I don't have the time (she is visiting him as well). Left lung is not working.
Webber: a rib could have pierced it. We need to take him to the CT. Torres?
Callie: ok, I will run X-Rays when you come back…
You have to look into yourself and find a strength you didn't know you had
Meredith has finally entered Derek's room. She has been waiting hidden in a corner till his sisters has left and now she is leaning to the door. A hint of panic has hit her when she has entered the room. A fear coming from the fact that a machine is keeping alive the love of her life, her baby's daddy. She stares dully at Derek's chest raising and falling following the rhythm of the ventilator. She has started to cry but, finally, she finds the strength to go closer. She arrives besides Derek's bed and sits in the chair. She hesitantly stretches her hand to take his but then stops and takes it back. She swallows and then stretches it again and keeps Derek's fingers in hers. He is warm and this gives her some more courage. She kisses his knuckles softly, like she was afraid to wake him up.
Meredith: hey… I'm here. I'm sorry I didn't come first but… I just couldn't. I was… I'm freaking out here, you know. I'm trying to be the brave, shining wife but…. I'm not that good at it. I'm scared Derek…. I need you. I need you so much I can't breathe. I need to hear your voice, I need to see your eyes. I like them so much… Please, come back to me… I know maybe it's more peaceful there… Maybe you met some friends and Doc too but I need you here. So stop chatting with them and come back to me and McPeanut. You've already missed too much of his… her… whatever… life. We need you… we need you here with us… Please (she kisses his hand again and keeps holding it)
Owen and Cristina are already in the OR. The surgery has started.
Cristina: holy crap… This is jelly…..
Owen: no… this is the spleen and these are kidneys. And we need to work faster. Take this (he handles her a clamp) Close that vessel… (Cristina puts her hands in the man's cavity) I need to move the spleen back to its place
Cristina: how the hell did it go so high….
Owen: he was knocked down and flipped by an elephant's trunk. The rebound must have been so violent all the organs moved. Can you take the left kidney into position?
Cristina: I can try… (the monitors start to beep) Damned it….
Owen: what?
Cristina: the adrenal artery is nicked. He is losing too much blood.
Owen: Suck…
Cristina: what?
Owen: Suck!
Cristina: I've never done this before!
Owen: I just have two hands and they are busy. You need to suck and stop the bleeding (Cristina takes the blood away and then works on the bleeding)
Cristina: I can't find the source… it's too much….
Owen: try again
Cristina: I…. (blood keeps going out. Then she lays a finger on the artery and it stops)… Ok I got it. I've plugged it with a finger but you need to come here and sew it.
Owen: Cristina… I'm trying to save the spleen. You need to do it on your own. Have you ever made a T-suture?
Cristina: yes… but on a heart…
Owen: it's the same thing just… smaller (she looks at him. Owen can read fear in her eyes) You can do this. It's your shot (she nods and takes the needle)
Mark has inserted a syringe in Gretchen's face.
Mark: does it hurt?
Gretchen: no… it tingles a little. I can't feel my face anymore.
Mark: good…. The anesthesia is kicking in…. We'll wait five more minutes to be sure and then we'll start.
Alex: what happened in that circus?
Gretchen: I…. don't know. I was near the exit. I was talking to the phone. I heard a scream and then the noise of people running. I looked up to see what was happening and something hit me. I lost consciousness and woke up in the ambulance. Are there a lot of injured people?
Alex: ER is full…
Gretchen: oh my God… there were a lot of kids in the first rows…
Mark: don't worry about it now. We'll fix you and then take care of the others (he has prepared all the necessary for stitching in a basin. He stands up and handles it to Alex. Karev seems surprised)
Alex: what?
Mark: you're doing it. Come on… sit
Alex: are you sure?
Mark: sit before I change my mind (Gretchen realizes the change between the doctors)
Gretchen: hey… you told me you'd have done the stitching….
Mark: he'll make just the inner ones. I'll do the rest.
Gretchen: I am not a learning experience…
Mark: of course not. I'd not let him do nothing without knowing he can do it. Relax. The both of you (Alex breaths out and starts sewing the girl's skin)
Callie comes back into the visit room with Mike's x-rays. She freezes on the door when she hears the continuous sound of the monitors. The patient is laying on the gurney. Webber has already taken his gloves off.
Lexie: time of death…. 17.45
Callie: what happened?
Bailey: the heart stopped.
Callie: ok… but why?
Bailey: the rib cage was crushed. The heart compressed. And it stopped. I…. need to say it to his wife (she takes her coat off and leaves. After some seconds, Callie, Lexie and Richard hear desperate screams coming from the waiting area).
Bailey has come back to the surgery floor. She is walking down the corridor when she hears two feminine, familiar voices. She recognizes three of Derek's sisters.
Katherine: what are insinuating, Nance?
Nancy: nothing…. Just that… police has dig in his life and job and has found anything. Maybe it's someone related to the intern…
Amelia: explain yourself
Nancy: maybe some drifter she was screwing or she has screwed in the past…
Katherine: stop! But… can you hear yourself? Why do you hate her like that?
Nancy: because she broke his marriage and joked him around for months.
Katherine: please…. His marriage was a wreck a long time before Meredith. And, by the way, I really appreciated your outburst this morning…. Did you really know it or was it just a tall story?
Amelia: we knew. We caught them together three months before Derek did.
Katherine: and why the hell did you say nothing to him?
Nancy: it was not on us to say it.
Katherine: really? He is your brother… You would have saved him an humiliation and a lot of pain.
Amelia: we didn't think it was a fling… we assumed it was just…
Katherine: fucking? So Addison fucking his best friend was good to you? Really… I don't know if you're kidding or not…
Nancy: whatever Kat…. Addison fucking Mark was anyway better than the slutty intern screwing everything walks in Seattle (Bailey can't take anymore. She enters the door and the three women flinch to see her).
Even if under the snow you feel lonely and scared, in the surface, there must be someone fighting for you…
Nancy: Dr. Bailey…
Bailey: I can't believe what my ears have just heard… And you call yourselves sisters…
Nancy: I don't think…
Bailey: shut up! (Nancy stops talking) You don't talk when I talk… So Addison fucking his best friend for months is good for you….
Amelia: we (Bailey burns her with one look)
Bailey: let me tell you a story. When Derek Sheperd got here, I fought him. I fought him with all my strength as I believed he was a stupid, fancy was-to-be model arrived to surgery by chance. He gained my, our respect in a really short time for his skills and for his humanity. I fought him when I realized he was dating an intern, his intern. I thought he was taking advantage of the girl but… I was wrong again. They were in love. From the first very moment, they were in love.
Nancy: please… he dumped her in five minutes when Addi came here…
Bailey: how do you know? Did you talk to him? Were you here? Because I was and I remember the day he broke up with Meredith like it was yesterday. Do you know why?
Katherine: no
Bailey: because he cried like a child. That decision, that choice he had to make, broke his heart. And from that moment on, he was not the same man anymore. He became a Shadow Sheperd (Dr. Nelson is passing in the corridor, he stops and goes back. His face appears at the door)
Dr. Nelson: did you call me Dr. Bailey ? (Bailey turns to look at him puzzled)
Bailey: no
Dr. Nelson: but I heard it…
Bailey: I told you no! Get the hell out of here, you moron (he goes away scared)
Katherine: what…
Bailey: we call him Shadow Sheperd. But that's another story…. I was saying that your brother lost his humor, he lost his cockiness. He was the ghost of himself. And he has never been happy anymore until Meredith and him finally made up. The girl had issues but… they found their way. It took time, it took sacrifice. But they are here, married on a post it. You can find it ridiculous. You won't if you knew why there wasn't the marriage they had organized in every little detail. You can't put that on her. Why can't you just accept they are madly in love from the first day they met? (she leaves them thinking and joins the nurses station where Webber is filling a chart. Dr Kepner is there too)
Webber: he is lucky he has four sisters….
Bailey: really?
Webber: yes… this means he still has some…. Don't tell me you have killed them all….
Bailey: no… one is nice by the way…. (April is listening to them when she hears someone calling her name)
Man: Dr. Kepner…. (she looks up and feels her heart beating madly when she realizes who is the man in front of her)
April: hi…
Man: I finally found you.
April: I was very busy (both Richard and Bailey follow the conversation stunned by April's embarrassment. She starts walking trying to get away from all the people listening)
Man: yes…. But you never came back after your first session with Mr. Greene (April stops in her trucks and turns back. Both Richard and Bailey are looking at her suspiciously). And he didn't either. Plus the police came upstairs to make us questions and I was worried there was something wrong… But if you say everything is fine… I'll see you when you're available (he turns back to go but Richard is on his way)
Richard: who are you?
Man: excuse me sir?
Richard: Do you work here?
Man: yes, in the psychologist rehab program.
Richard: how do you know Dr. Kepner? (April is looking down and her hands are shaking)
Man: she volunteered in the program some days ago… Is there some problem, sir?
Richard: I hope not. But it's better the two of you come with me. Now.
April: Dr. Webber… Dr. Altman is waiting for me… (Bailey approaches her, hands on her hips. Seeing the hard glare she is giving her, April stops talking)
Bailey: I have a bad feeling growing in my gut…. I hope I'm wrong because if I wasn't… (she shakes her head)
Mr. Lewis and Donner has finally arrived in Derek's office. April and the guy from the rehab program are in there.
Lewis: Dr. Webber…. I did not expect your call… Did you remember something?
Richard: no… but I want you to explain me why you have canceled Mr. Greene from the list.
Donner: well… we have talked to him and his lawyer and they said he was attending a rehab program. We checked and, actually, the doctor in charge signed him in from 14 to 19.
Richard: who was the doctor?
Lewis: I don't remember… I should check….
Bailey: do it (April is shaking violently but keeps saying nothing. Lewis picks up the phone and goes out. He comes back two minutes later)
Lewis: it was Dr. Kepner… April Kepner (Richard closes his eyes while Miranda goes in front of April who is shaking her head)
Bailey: what did you do? (April is still shaking and avoids Bailey's glare) What did you do? (her voice is really high and the two cops step in)
Lewis: hey… slow down…. You need to explain us…. (he pulls Miranda away)
Richard: she needs to explain us a lot of things
(Mark and Alex are walking down the corridor)
Mark: you did good in there
Alex: really?
Mark: like you've been always doing plastics stitching. It's not easy. You are a natural.
Alex: I'm not… I'm just one who likes watching and learning. And I have one of the best doing it in front of my eyes.
Mark: ok… I guess it's enough with the flattery for today… I'm…. I hope we will work together again, soon (he stops and stretches his hand towards Alex who shakes it). No grudge.
Alex: no grudge (they start walking again when they notice a little crowd standing out of the Chief's office. They get close to Patricia).
Mark: Patricia…
Patricia: yes Dr. Sloan?
Mark: what's going on?
Patricia: I don't know…. Dr. Webber went in with Dr. Bailey and Kepner and then asked me to call the police. Do you think she may have something to do with…
Mark: I don't have a clue…
In the office April is sitting on the couch and has a glass in her hands. She looks down and rocks ahead and behind. She looks nervous. Lewis hangs up the phone and then takes his block notes sitting in a chair in front of her. Both Webber and Bailey are still in.
Lewis: ok… so… can you tell me when you joined the rehab program as volunteer?
April: it was three of four days ago…. Thursday I think…
Lewis: Mr. Jarret said Friday…
April: it can be… I don't remember well.
Lewis: reflect longer before answering. We are not playing tricks in here. Why did you join it?
April: I had some free time…
Lewis: and you met Mr. Greene as first patient…
April: yes…
Lewis: and I should believe you?
April: excuse me?
Lewis: after three months at SGMW you decide you have spare time and go join a rehab program where the first person you help is a well known patient of yours. Isn't this not allowed?
April: I…. I'm…..
Lewis: we'll come back on this later…. What did the two of you talk about?
April: he was trying to cope with his wife's death but… he didn't seem to be fine… I told him we were sorry for what had happened but….
Webber: what? (Lewis throws an angry glare at Richard. April looks at her superiors and seems finally to realize what has really happened. Some tear roll down her face)
April: I…. can tell you….. I can because I didn't do anything wrong (she is rambling and talking more to herself than to others). I have tried to protect him but….
Lewis: Dr. Kepner… what are talking about?
April: Mr. Greene was upset. He thought it was Dr. Sheperd's fault his wife was dead. When he named him he became evil, aggressive and I got afraid. I got afraid he could do something bad to him… And I could not allow it because I…. he…. So I…. (all the people in the room are staring at her stunned) I've tried to tell him that it was her fault she died… she was the responsible… not him…
Lewis: who is she?
April: I could have not imagined….. (she closes her eyes and the glass falls from her hand) It was her fault…..
Lewis: what time was it when Mr. Greene left you?
April: I don't….
Lewis: what time was it? (his voice is louder and commanding)
April: six, maybe earlier…. I….
Webber: why the hell didn't you report this immediately?
April: I was afraid and shocked…. He is…. everything …. everything….. I could not stand what she had done to him…. (Lewis stands up and approaches Webber and Bailey)
Lewis: she is talking senseless…. Do you know who is the "she" she is talking about?
Bailey: no…. My God…. She has been here all this time and we have never realized she was….
Lewis: all people are normal till they do something horrible. I'll go back to the department. Donner has already collected Mr. Greene. We'll query him and let you know. It's better she stays here by now. And for here, I mean right here. I'll leave one of my man to guard the door. Don't leave her alone. But do not talk to her (he leaves the room)
(Owen and Cristina are in the scrub room and they are scrubbing out)
Cristina: It was amazing. I still have chills everywhere.
Owen: you did good
Cristina: no…. I did more than good… I rocked! I've fit two living, bleeding organs by myself! On my own…. Crap… I can't believe how extraordinary it was…
Owen: it's nice to see how you residents are enthusiastic about everything… This emotion… the high… then disappear.
Cristina: no… it won't… It can't go away. It's the reason I get up in the morning, it's why I'm not tired of studying and learning after all these years. We save lives… We can't get bored of this.
Owen: no indeed. It's surgery which becomes indifferent. For me at least. I love saving people but surgery… is just a means, not the aim.
Cristina: are you trying to disappoint me debasing what I was able to do?
Owen: of course I'm not… It's just…. This is not…. everything.
Cristina: whatever (she lowers her head and washes her hands energetically. Owen stares at her and before he can realize it, he is standing next to her. She feels his presence and looks up) What? (he kisses her passionately leaving the both of them out of breath. They part but his mouth is still an inch far from hers)
Owen: this is everything Cristina. This is everything… There is no surgery, no saving lives, anything like this…. Love is all… (silence fills the room) I saw Meredith today. We met in Dr. Wyatt's office. We talked a little…
Cristina: about what?
Owen: that's not the point Cristina… The point is that when we talked about Derek… there was fear in her eyes of course but…. All that I could read was love, pure love. And it's what I would like to read in my woman's eyes too (their eyes lock for a moment) Just like this… (he leaves)
Lexie has changed into her street clothes. She has joined the cafeteria when she is sitting alone eating something. Nancy and Katherine approach her table.
Katherine: can we sit with you? (Lexie has a bite in her mouth and answers with an hand covering it)
Lexie: sure… (the two sisters sit)
Nancy: I'm sorry for what I told you this morning….
Lexie: uhmmm (she keeps eating her sandwich)
Nancy: I really would like to tell you I was worried about Derek and yelled out with you but…. the truth is that I'm a bitch…
Katherine: yes, you are… (she laughs)
Nancy: I'm a jealous bitch…
Lexie: jealous?
Nancy: yes…. Mark is… was kind of universal property…. He pleasured each woman without loving any. And you can't imagine how many girls have tried to tame him.
Katherine: she tried too…
Nancy: he and Derek were the perfect cocktail…. Mark the bad boy screwing around, Derek the kind, loving boyfriend. Half New York had a crush on them. And it's difficult when you grow up with two men like that not to idealize them. And, somehow, along the way, I have lost consciousness of who they were. So Mark screwing Derek's wife was good because my brother was to perfect to be real… he had to pay back…. I'm an awful sister… I know…
Lexie: you really are…
Katherine: are you and Meredith sisters?
Lexie: step sisters… We have the same dad….
Katherine: so two sisters hooked the sexy brothers….
Lexie: more or less…
Nancy: why do you say that?
Lexie: it's just… Meredith and Derek… they're the legend here. They are the Couple. Mark and I… we are at the beginning. We have many things to settle yet. Now that his grandchild is born (Katherine is drinking her coffee and nearly spits it out)
Katherine: his what?
Lexie: his grandchild…. He has just found out he has a daughter and she has just had a baby….
Nancy: I knew there had to be secret daughters around… How is she?
Lexie: blond, young, really cute…
Nancy: she's Mark's daughter after all
Lexie: she so is…. (she notices Meredith grabbing a coffee and stands up to join her) Mer… I thought you were home.
Meredith: I went but… I couldn't sleep there alone. I'm in an OC room if… (she goes away and Lexie stares at her. Then she goes back to her table)
Nancy: she looks like crap
Katherine: that's probably how she feels… I like her… She is not the super woman Addi was. She is fragile, sweet, fresh… You should apologize to her too.
Nancy: I think it's too late… It's the second time I behaved horribly to her.
Lexie: but you're McBitchy
Nancy: excuse me?
Lexie: your nickname is McBitchy. After your first visit here… You are over protective to your brother but Meredith…. She knows how to forgive people…
Owen has stopped in Derek's room. He is laying on the couch. He is lost in his thoughts when he hears muffled coughs coming from the bed. He stands up immediately and gets closer to Derek. He turns the light on the night stand on and realizes his eyes are fluttering. It takes some time but he finally opens them. He seems scared and disoriented.
Owen: hey… Derek…. Can you hear me? (he has taken his hand and feels a squeeze). You are intubated. Stay the quieter you can (he pushes the emergency button and a nurse runs immediately in the room)
Nurse: what?
Owen: page Dr. Webber please… He is awake…
(in Derek's office Webber and Bailey are still with April. A cop is with them. Lewis enters the door. His face is a mask of gravity)
Webber: so? (The cop gets closer to Richard and Bailey)
Lewis: We have heard Mr. Greene and he has admitted everything. We have also found his dirty clothes and the page we had seen in the video. It was a page taken form the report of his wife's autopsy. I'm sorry but your doctor…. Dr. Kepner…. made quite a mess. And there is something worse. It's better you sit down (the two doctors go to the couch) She tried to convince Mr. Greene that it was not Dr. Sheperd's decision to take his wife off the ventilator. She told him that it was…. Dr. Sheperd's wife.
Webber: what?
Lewis: and he went after Dr. Grey indeed. But, at the last moment, God knows why, he went back to his first target. I'm sorry. I don't know how much this counts but… he is already in jail.
Bailey: what about her?
Lewis: technically… she did nothing wrong. She aided and abetted a suspect and manipulated his mind but… this won't imply anything. Legally I mean (April seems to have overheard the conversation).
April: can I go now? (Bailey closes her eyes incredulous and then goes in front of her)
Bailey: maybe you did not kill (she looks up, a tear rolls down her cheek) hurt anyone directly but what happened to Dr. Sheperd is on you. You armed Mr. Greene's hand, you and your lies. You have sent him after Meredith so that he could do what you will never be able to do: get rid of her. I… How could you do this to him? He just tried to help you… He offered you his hand and you bite him back like this…. you have betrayed him and if he didn't survive this… you would be the person to blame… not Mr. Greene (the phone rings and Webber answers)
Webber: It's Webber. What? We come… (he hangs off and starts to walk to the door) It's Derek (they both leave the room)
Meredith is laying in the OC room, her back to the entrance. The door opens and Nancy goes in.
Meredith: go away Cristina… I don't need anything…
Nancy: neither an apology? (Meredith turns around abruptly)
Meredith: you don't need to do it. You don't like me. It's your right. Just leave me alone please (she goes back laying on the bed)
Nancy: Derek would hate me forever if I did… (she sits on the bed) Maybe he already hates me… I haven't been a good sister to him lately. I really liked Addison. We were friends. And when I caught her with Mark… I thought it could be okay. Derek and Mark had always shared everything. Why not his wife? After I came here… I got how much they had really hurt him. And I…we had too. He wasn't the same person I used to know; the skittish, always smiling, ironic guy. But it hurt too much admitting this was also my fault: it was easier to point you as the home wrecker, the slutty intern who picked him up in a bar and joked him around. I get if you don't want to forgive me… You own nothing to me but… I just wanted to tell you that I love my brother. He is what I'll never be: fair, loyal, a little bit fool. And that's why it's so easy to me to blame him. He got married on a post it: just a romantic moron like him could do that. And just a woman who really, deeply loved him could have accepted it. Just promises, no obligations, no rights… Only love.
Meredith: it's the stuff of Derek…
Nancy: yes… it was our dad's stuff too…
Meredith: how is your mum doing? It must not be easy for her… after what happened to your dad…
Nancy: Derek told you his dark secret… Anyway…. she is trying to be strong but…. Derek is her baby… It's hard… even because she can't help you…. (Meredith turns around) We should stay all together Meredith… we should… (Nancy takes her hand. The OC room's door slams open to reveal a breathless Cristina)
Cristina: you need to come… It's Derek
Webber and Bailey have joined Owen in Derek's room.
Owen: ok… we are going to take the tube out now… On my three…. One, two, here we go (he pulls the tube out of Derek's throat. Sheperd coughs and he nearly passes out for the pain. He tries to roll on one side but Richard stops him holding his shoulders still)
Richard: slow down Derek… Slow down (the monitors start to beep)
Bailey: he is hyperventilating…
Richard: Derek… can you hear me? (Derek is shaking)
Owen: I think he is having a panic attack… Let go of him…. Richard… let him (Richard lets Derek's arms free) Derek… no one is touching you, ok? Our hands are on…. (Derek stops panting, he opens his eyes to see the three doctors, after some minute he starts to breath regularly. He seems scared and confused. He tries to speak but his voice is hoarse, his throat is burning like the skin had been peeled off)
Derek: water… (he touches his throat)
Richard: I can't give you water but we can try with ice chips
Bailey: I'll go and take them (she runs away. Richard and Owen share worried looks. Bailey comes back and sets a glass of ice chips in Webber's hand. Richard sets a cube in Derek's lips)
Richard: you need to lay still, Derek (Derek is chewing the ice chip, his throat seems to find solace and he tries to speak again. His voice comes out a whisper)
Derek: Mer….
Richard: she is fine. She is out here waiting to see you.
Derek: when…. What day….
Richard: it's Tuesday Derek. You have been in a coma for some day.
Derek: What happened?
Richard: you had a very long, complicated surgery.
Derek: why?
Richard: you don't remember?
Derek: I remember the elevator…. The visit room…. The ct…. then nothing.
Richard: you coded in the CT and then we rushed you into surgery (Derek winces and exhales loudly)
Derek: I… it hurts… (Owen looks down to the floor)
Richard: you are under morphine… Your organs are in distress and… we can't give you more. I'm sorry.
Derek: it's a hummer… I don't…. it's too much (he clutches the sheets wincing)
Richard: injuries were bad… (Derek rubs his eyes with both hands, his arms are lightly shaking)
Derek: I remember I ripped a knife out of my stomach…. I can't feel my ass…. I know my injuries…. (the three doctors are silent) Why can't I move my legs? (he lets his arms fall on the bed again and then starts touching his own body) Did he hit the spine?
Bailey: no (she gets closer to the bed and strokes Derek's forehead) he missed it but there is a wide hematoma compressing the lower lumbar vertebras. That's why you don't feel anything. You need to be patient.
Richard: and rest… We'll give you some sedative, it should help with the pain too (Bailey gives him a last pat on the cheek, they all turn around to leave)
Derek: what are you hiding from me? (they stop and look back at him)
Richard: nothing, Derek. I just want you to rest.
Derek: Richard please… I'm dizzy, I feel like every drop of life has drained out of me, talking is… a titanic effort and I can swear someone is squeezing my heart from inside. I'm awake from 5 minutes and I'm already on the verge of passing out. What's wrong with me? (Richard's and Derek's eyes lock for a moment but Webber breaks the contact and swallows. Bailey sits on the bed and takes Derek's hand)
Bailey: when he hit you in the chest… the edge of the knife probably collided with a bone and it broke. The fragment is near the aorta and we could not take it out in the first surgery. It is still there. That's why you feel a heavy weight and talking is so exhausting.
Derek: what do you plan to do?
Richard: you know it Derek… The choice is on you now…
Derek: but I could not survive the surgery… (he closes his eyes)
Richard: there is a chance by now… (Derek breaths out)
Bailey: Sheperd… hear me out…. I know you have just woken up, you are confused and I can't imagine the pain you are in. But you need to think straight. Your heart is in distress… You could develop a bleeding because of the high, increasing pressure. You can't go on this way. Every hour will be worse on you. You need to consider everything.
Derek: I'll do it… I will but not now. I only want to see Meredith.
Bailey: ok (she leaves his hand and stands up. Even Owen gets close to Derek and shakes his hand)
Derek: thank you
Bailey: we are quits now… (they all leave the room. Outside there is a crowd of people waiting for news. Richard notices them all)
Richard: we will update you but first…. Meredith…. go in (Meredith seems a little scared. She approaches Richard) He is exhausted, Meredith. Stressed and in pain. He is dizzy and nauseous. Don't have him talk too much. He needs to rest. And have him wear the oxygen mask. Ok? (she nods and opens the door. She feels his eyes on her while closing the door behind her and getting near the bed. She sits on the chair and takes his hand. She kisses every knuckle and smiles but her eyes are filling with tears)
Meredith: hey…
Derek: hey (even Derek is moved. Some tear escape his eyes but Meredith wipes them away with her thumb). How are you?
Meredith: I should ask that to you (she strokes his forehead and cheeks, she rakes a hand through his hair, she looks at him like she did not expect to have this chance again) but fine… Now that you are awake, I'm fine… I was so scared, Derek (he puts his hand on hers, still on his face. Their eyes lock for a moment and Meredith can't resist the urge of kissing him on the lips. They both savour the moment. Derek keeps staring at Meredith, his eyes are even bluer than she remembered)
Derek: I… (he stops talking like he was afraid to say loud what he is thinking. His eyes lower on their joined hands)
Meredith: what? (he looks up and Meredith sees a tear rolling down his cheek) Do you want me to call someone?
Derek: no… I have you and it's all I need.
Meredith: your mum and sisters are outside. They are so worried, Der…
Derek: I know but…. Later (he avoids her look). You know… I heard voices when… Maybe I dreamt, with all the drogues they gave me but…. I'm sure I heard voices and I heard yours too. You were crying and… I was…. I don't know where I was…. But I heard you crying and I could not open my eyes (Meredith is stroking his hair) and you were telling me to come back to you and to Mc…. (Meredith's fingers go limp with this sentence. She looks in Derek's eyes. Even if all the last events are shoveled and carved in his face stressing his beautiful features, she still can find a spark of hope and tenderness lingering in his eyes)
Meredith: Mc?
Derek: never mind… I'm just…. I've probably imagined everything… (he avoid her glare turning his head aside. Meredith puts her hand on his cheek and has him looking at her again. She is crying too now)
Meredith: Mc Peanut? (Derek nods and, after some second, Meredith nods back. They are both crying and Derek pulls Meredith's head on his chest. He kisses her hair hugging her)
Derek: I love you… (they stay like this for a while, then Meredith realizes she must be crushing him and lifts up. He tries to touch her belly but she is too far. She takes his hand and, sitting on the bed, lays it on her still flat stomach) Hi baby… This is your Daddy…. I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself before but…. I just want to tell you that I love you…
Meredith: Derek…
Derek: um?
Meredith: this was cheesy…
Derek: how do you feel?
Meredith: fine… I have to pee every five minutes but… I'm good. And I'm trying to be a Healthy Nut too.
Derek: so, last week in the bathroom, it was not tequila…
Meredith: no… it was the Thing taking control of my body… It's unbelievable like everything changes… (Meredith looks down at Derek and realizes he looks paler and exhausted) You need to rest now (she kisses him on the lips)
Derek: I love you… the both of you
Meredith: me too. Sleep now (she finally turns around and leaves. When she opens the door to go out, she sees he has already fallen asleep)
You can survive the avalanche if you believe… (Richard is sitting on the couch of Derek's room. He is watching him sleeping)
In yourself and others too.
Every action gives way to a reaction.
(Mr. Greene is in his cell. April arrives home alone)
And a little snowflake can turn out to be a destructive force of nature.
But when you are in peace with yourself (Owen enters his lonely and empty house), when you know you did good and acted following your conscience (Mark kisses his grandchild's nose and puts him back to the crib), you don't leave room to speculations and heartbreaking reverberations.
Life is easier… if your love is true.
(Meredith turns the light off. Cristina is laying with her. The post it is enlightened by the moonlight)
