The birds sang and the light that shone in around the edges of the curtains was turning blue. Dean stood by a small table packing a duffel bag. He looked across the motel room and watched a naked Sam sleep.

Dean remembered how Sam had been so gentle with him last night, his second last night on earth and he finally got to feel Sam Singer inside him. Sam had wanted it to be as special and as pain free as it could be, which took, as Sam said it would, time and practice of course Sam left out the part about the amount of lubricant needed to achieve that. If Dean was honest about it he never really felt he had made love with anyone before, yes he had sex and occasionally he had feelings for the person, and he had fucked a lot. Both he had done with Sam but last night was the only time in his whole life he had ever made love, which made sense, after all Sam was not just the only man he had ever loved he was the only person.

(Last night)

They lay together on their sides spooning, when Sam eased into Dean, Dean trembled.

"Dean?" Sam questioned.

"I'm fine" Breathed Dean still trembling.

Dean reached out for Sam's hand and Sam took it. Dean pulled Sam's arm around him and rested both their hands on his chest over his heart.

"We don't have to do this I can stop!" Sam said with panic.

"I want you, I love you and I want you to make love to me. Tonight is our last night and I want you before I die," Dean was still breathless but he wanted Sam to know this was his only wish.

Dean could tell this idea upset Sam.

"Shhh Sam, don't cry. I'm here with you right now and this is the only thing in the world I want." Dean craned his neck and kissed Sam.

Sam kissed him back.

"I love you too," Sobbed Sam.

"Then prove it," Dared Dean as he held on to Sam's hand tighter.

Sam gently eased into Dean again, Dean gasped.

"I'm fine!" he answered predicting Sam's question.

Sam continued to be gentle and to hold Dean's trembling body.

After word, once the ecstasy of the moment had worn off Dean did something he swore never to do, he told Sam how scared he was to die. The couple lay there naked holding each other as they cried. They had taken so long to love each other and in what seemed like the blink of an eye they would be separated for the rest of eternity.

(Back to this morning)

Dean lifted the bag and left a folded piece of paper on the table which read Sammy, next to it he left the keys to the impala.

Dean walked to the door, he gave Sam one more stare and then he kicked the goofer dust away from the door. He walked out making sure to close the door lightly.

The birds sang louder and the sun shone through the gap in the curtains.

Sam turned his head away from the light, he stretched out his hand expecting to find Dean.

"Dean?" Sam muttered but got no answer.

He sat up and looked around the room.

"Dean!" He called clearer and louder.

Sam climbed out of bed and wrapped the sheet around his waist; he walked to the bathroom and back. That was when he saw Deans letter in the beam of light.

Dear Sammy

I'm sorry Sammy if I could I would spend every second I had left with you, but I can't. I have to leave, this is changing me in ways I can't even rationalize to myself, that and I don't want you to remember me like this. I want you to remember me the way I was, particularly last night ha ha.

Take care of you and baby, if you treat her wrong I'll haunt you.

Love always your Deano x

(Three weeks earlier)

"Look Sammy unless you packed a Valerian steel, dragon glass tipped spear, I have no idea how we are supposed to kill some Babylonian chick …. Or dude," complained Dean.

"Funny I think it's in the trunk," Sam rolled his eyes, "Look why don't we just call-"

"Not happening!"

"Come on Dean the last time we called he was a real help,"

"Oh really Sam? That's what you call it when some A hole nearly totals baby and gets the police on our tail?"

"But he did get us what we need,"

"If you have that much faith in him you call him," Dean threw a mobile phone into Sam's lap.

Dean climbed out of the car and headed for a 7 eleven across the road.

"Hey Billy its Sam Singer, yeah I know you never wanted to hear from me again but-" began Sam. "I can make it worth your while?!"

A while later a dark blue poly coloured second generation Dodge charger screeched into the car park.

Sam and Dean had been sitting on the bonnet of the Impala as they waited for Billy.

Out of the dark blue poly car stepped a tall honey haired man, with strong cheek bones and jawline.

"Boys," greeted the handsome man as he took off his sunglasses. He tucked his Louis Vuitton sunglasses into his inner suit pocket.

"What mess have you chaps gotten into this time?" Billy's English accent was strong.

"Babylonian god," answered Dean as he walked towards Billy.

"Nice! Which one?" Billy asked.

Dean stared him down.

"Seriously, I pull the wool over your eyes once and you start keeping secrets?!"

"We think it's Ea," said Sam moving forward.

Sam hated the brooding sexual tension that seemed to accumulate between Dean and Billy. To save some time and well the aforementioned tension Sam explained what they were looking for.

"Ok well I mean I've never come across a spear like that but I have a few contacts that might know where to find one," Billy put his sunglasses back on.

"I'll call you!" Billy shouted as he got back into his car.

"That guy!" Dean muttered.

Sam watched Dean as they both walked to the car.

"What?" demanded Dean.

"Nothing," muttered Sam as he sat into the car.

"You know we wouldn't be dealing with Billy if we had any other choice. Besides this was your idea," complained Dean.

"I know, I just forgot,"

"Forgot what?" Asked Dean as he turned the key in the ignition.

"The way he looks at you," muttered Sam.

"Aw, is someone jealous?" laughed Dean

Sam sulked.

"Oh wow, you are,"

"Shut up Dean!"

Little did Sam know just how important this hunt was about to become.

Sam sat in a chair back at the motel .

"So check this out Ea is supposed to be a god who cleanses as well as a god of water. He helps with exorcism but why the change? What is it he wants from the souls he is keeping?" When there was no answer Sam looked up.

For a second Dean's eyes glazed over, here was a god who could hold on to souls if he chose to and Dean was about to lose his.

"Dean?!" Shouted Sam.

"Yeah ok so what?! All we need to know is how to gank it and we know that already,"

"Yeah but we can't walk in blind," warned Sam.

"Sam, seriously when has anything we planned ever worked out we plan all hell breaks loose we improvise,"

"But with Billy in on it-"

"It means we should be more careful." Added Dean as he threw his hands up in exasperation. "You do what you want Sam, I'm hitting the hay. Actually its funny you wanted to have anything to do with him after that time he told me he wanted hot angry sex with me," laughed Dean heading for the bed.

He knew Sam would be angry.

Two days later the boys tracked Ea to a small cabin near a lake.

"Wow for a god you sure do live a shabby life style." Dean chuckled at his own joke but Sam stared him down.

Sam, holding the Valerian steel spear with a dragon glass tip, looked into the face of the god.

Ea looked large, his arms long and held a way from his body. His white gown floated about him though there was no breeze. His face, if you could call it that, was sagging a little and unnaturally wrinkly, like skin left in water too long. He had no mouth or nose only eyes. Almond shaped black holes, without lids or eyelashes. Dean couldn't tell if they were empty sockets or if the eyes were completely black. What he did know was that the gills in the side of Ea's neck were freaking Dean out. He almost wished that the white light that seemed to emanate from Ea was a little stronger so he couldn't see the gills opening and closing.

"Ok, so here's the deal," Began Dean stepping forward.

"You tell me how to stop this demon from taking my soul, I will stop my little friend here from making Babylonian shish kabob out of you. How does that sound?" Dean offered as he gestured to the spear.

For a moment no one moved or even drew breath. Sam still looked at Dean out of the corner of his eye.

"I have not the power to take a soul that is pure!" The voice did not come from the being in front of them instead it seemed to come from everywhere. Dean and Sam instinctively looked around.

The walls seemed to talk for this being and yet Dean knew every word came from the mind in front of him.

"What do you mean?" Questioned Dean stepping forward.

"Both the souls I see are damaged yes, bad no. I have only the power to cleans or take that which is evil. I can only bend evil to my will, your soul I may not touch. To whom it is sacrificed it must go,"

"Yet here you are playing keep-a-way with all these damned souls!" Dean's anger began to show.

"I am keeping those who, through their actions, have damned their own souls. I cannot keep those who willingly part with them." Ea calmly explained.

"Then I have no use for you. Earth has no use for you,"

"You will go then and with and without you Earth will face a war. One which I have tried to prevent, you will understand in rebirth. You will see when the all gods have failed. I am the last of my kind, my Babylonian kin you have killed. The Egyptians all but extinct, The Pagan, the Greeks, The Norse, The Roman, The Viking! Even after giving their existents they are just a name given by your kind, a way to tell people and time apart. They were my kin all killed by your lack of praise and sacrifice, yet I still care enough to be present, to fight for those who allowed my family to die. Where, you must ask yourself are the gods who proclaimed to love you the most? My Nephew Allah is so focused on his followers in the East he cannot see the danger. My infant cousins Vishnu and Kwan Yin preach peace but how young they are. And what of your god? What of the Christian god, the one who says the world is his creation?! What of him? Jehovah as he was named! The god who put himself above us all! Your people pray to him like no other when he is here hiding among you, a wolf in sheep's clothing indeed. If he is the all-powerful one why has he not put a stop to this?!"

"Honestly Dude I stopped listening back at war, but you had me at hello," Laughed Dean.

"Dean I think we should listen I mean if there is a war-"

"There's not Sam, we would know about it,"

Dean snatched the spear from Sam.

"You and your people pray to the wrong god," Ea said looking at Sam.

"Please! Who has time to pray? We are too busy fixing all of your mistakes," Dean grunted raising the spear.

"Perhaps I should try." Ea said bringing the two cuffs of his cloak together, he had no hands but the gesture seemed the same.

Sam bowed his head, Dean held the spear across his stomach with his hands flat as if in peaceful contemplation.

"Lord our father forgive Dean Winchester and Sam Singer, for they no not what they do," at Ea's words Sam's head swung upwards.

"Amen," Finished Dean as he lightly touched his stomach, then his forehead, his right shoulder then his left and ending it by kissing his fingers.

Sam almost rolled his eyes that Dean had blessed himself the wrong way, but this was not the time.

Dean lifted the spear.

"No Dean we should hear him out!"

"When something is about to get ganked it gets chatty," Dean shouted as he ran forward with the spear.

It pierced Ea right where a human would have a heart.

There was a loud almost deafening sound of water as if there were a waterfall right in the room with them. Dean let go of the spear and covered his ears. If he could have spoken over the noise he would have told Sam how it reminded him of the sound when he won on slot machines once when he was 12.

Dean had watched as Ea went from white and solid to clear and liquid. There was a cloud of black smoke, Dean was sure he heard screams and then it fell to the ground. When the noise ended, even though their ears rang, they could tell there was no sound at all. And on the floor lay the spear, Sam half expected it to be wet when he picked it up but it wasn't, in fact there was no sign of Ea at all.

Dean led the way back to the car.

"Who knew Billy would pull through for us?!" Said Dean spinning, tossing and catching the spear after he took it from Sam.

"Dean! What the hell was that?" Demanded Sam.

"We ganked the bad guy! Job done," Smiled Dean.

"He was trying to tell us about a war that was coming!"

"Oh please Sammy if we spared every bad guy that told us they were doing it for the greater good I'd still be a hunter virgin so do give me that,"

Sam opened his mouth to argue the point.

"Not interrupting a lovers tiff now am I?" Asked Billy who was sitting on the hood of his Dodge Charger.

"No!" Grunted Dean as he flung the spear at Billy.

Billy caught it without really trying.

"You should be careful that cost an arm and a leg, not mine but still. And you could have taken my eye out,"

"Yeah imagine not being able to check out your own refection," Dean jeered.

Billy smiled "Well where is it?"

"One of a kind colt," as he spoke Dean double checked the barrel and handed it over.

"And the bullets?" Billy's English accent sounded thicker with his excitement.

"All included, you could say you're getting it lock, stock and barrel." Again Dean laughed at his own joke.

"Is he always like this?" Billy asked Sam.

"Pretty much," shrugged Sam.

Suddenly Billy raised the Colt and pointed it at Sam.

"I'm sorry Sam," apologised Billy as he was about to pull the trigger.

The hammer of the gun clicked down, nothing happened.

Billy opened the barrel of the gun, it was empty he realised that with a slight of hand Dean had removed the bullets before closing the barrel. As Billy looked up Deans fist connected to the side of Billy's jaw.

Billy fell to the ground.

"You really thought I was going to give you a loaded gun?"

"Was worth a shot," Billy said wiping a trickle of blood from his mouth as he kneeled up on the damp ground.

Billy reached for the Valerian spear.

Dean stood on it.

"I could cut you from bollocks to brain," Billy growled.

"You could but dead man walking remember?! And besides Sam would kill you before you could hurt him,"

Sam stood there with his gun pointed at Billy.

"Take your spear and leave. Only just don't come back," warned Sam.

"Then don't call me for help," Billy slowly got to his feet picking up the spear but leaving the colt.

Sam and Dean didn't speak the whole way to the motel, Dean knew what was coming.

He opened the door of the motel and stepped inside.

Sam closed the door with a bang.

"Easy tiger," Called Dean.

"Everything is just a joke to you isn't it?!" demanded Sam.

"Ok you're going to have to be a little more specific," smiled Dean.

"More specific! If Billy was a bit quicker you would be dead!"

"Sam news flash I have weeks to live at best,"

"Yes Dean weeks. So why are you so desperate to die! Why do you want to leave me before you have to," Sam had tried but with his last words tears flowed from his eyes. He collapsed on the edge of the bed.

Dean stood there shocked; if he was honest he had expected Sam to argue with him about killing the god.

"Sammy, you know I would never leave you if I had the choice," Dean sat down gently beside Sam.

Sam leant over and hugged Dean's neck and head.

"I was sure I was going to listen to a lecture on killing that god dude," joked Dean trying to lighten the mood.

"I was angry, if he had information on a war we should know about it but that isn't happening yet. And I can't think about a future you're not in,"

When Sam finished talking Dean closed his eyes and hugged Sam's arm that hung around Dean's neck.

"Don't leave me," Whispered Sam so lowly that Dean almost wondered if Sam had spoken at all.

"Never by choice," Replied Dean dropping his chin and kissing Sam's arm.

"Hold me Dean, please," Sam cried as he released Dean.

Dean stood up and took off his coat, he made to lay down but Sam stopped him.

"Naked," Sam added.

"Well you know how I get," Laughed Dean.

"No not like that," Frowned Sam.

"Spoil sport," chuckled Dean as he undressed.

They lay there in the bed wrapped in each other's arms.

Hours later Dean woke and looked at the clock on the bedside locker.

Dean quietly climbed out of bed, he picked his phone up off the locker. He walked over to the window and looked out the tiny parting, making sure not to show that he was naked.

He dialled the number quickly almost at once the other phone answered.

"What the fuck do you want?" asked Billy.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," lied Dean as he sat in a chair by the table.

"Yeah right!"

"Ok so I'm lying. I'm really calling to say I know!"

"You know what Dean?"

"I know your secret,"

"What secret?" Billy asked playing dumb.

"Oh don't come the innocent with me! I know that exactly ten years ago today your parents died. Bit of a coincidence," finished Dean sarcastically.

"You don't know what they were like. If there was any justice in the world they would have died long before that and it wouldn't have cost me my soul either," spat Billy.

"So you say but that wasn't up to you. I guess it hardly matters now…. Oh look at the time,"

Dean looked over by the bed and saw the clock show 11:55.

"I should probably explain that when I was in your hotel room getting the spear from you I saw the devil shoestring tucked above your door,"

"Dean you didn't,"

Dean could hear movement on the other side of the phone.

"Dean you don't know what you've done!" bellowed Billy.

"Well since Devil shoestring is used for keeping hell hounds away I'm sure I have an idea."

"You're killing me you do know that?!" demanded Billy.

"You signed your own death warrant ten years ago. Have a nice life Billy, well all the five minuets that are left,"

"Dean wait! I know about your contract,"

"Is that right?" asked Dean.

"She told me she holds all the deeds."

"Let me guess you wanted to get the colt to shoot your way out of your contract and then the contract changed?!"

"She promised that she would let me out of it if I killed Sam." Sobbed Billy.

"Why should I believe you?"

"What have I left to lose? Lilith is going to kill me now,"

"I would say sorry but I'm not!" Dean told him honestly.

"Don't underestimate her Dean,"

"Hey look at that, times almost up, yours I mean,"

"Have the visions started?" Billy blurted.

"Goodbye Billy see you in hell," Dean said hanging up, he was sure he had heard dogs growling in the background just before he closed his flip phone.

Dean stood up, he placed the phone on the table and walked over to the bed. He looked down at the naked body that was Sam Singer. Dean started to worry about just how much longer he had left to spend with this amazing man. How had he wasted too many years not being with him, every kiss and embrace he missed out on and now that he had enough courage to admit his feelings they were running out of time. They no longer got to count time in months but weeks.

"Are you going to stand there staring all night?" Asked Sam, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Are you complaining Mr Singer?" Dean asked kneeling on the edge of the bed.

"Never!" Sam answered as he reached up and put his hand on the back of Dean's neck, pulling him down into a kiss.

(Present day)

Sam fell onto the bed, the letter in one hand and the keys in the other. That was it Dean was serious. He was never coming back.

Sam jumped up and searched the room to see what was missing.

The devil shoestring was gone, so too was the gooferdust. So that meant Dean was going to do as much as he could for as long as he could.

Sam threw on his boxers, he's jeans and shirt. He threw everything he could into his bag and jumped into the Impala.

He hoped he wasn't too far behind Dean, when had he left? how far ahead could he be.

Sam drove all day, even when the sun was gone and replaced by the moon he stopped only when he came to a small motel called the Black Raven.

After he describe Dean to the man at the front desk he found Dean's room.

"Dean!" Sam called as he entered the dark room.

"Don't turn on the light Sammy,"

Sam moved further into the room, feeling his way and taking each step carefully.

"Dean why did you leave? Never by choice remember?!" Sam asked in a sad tone.

"I didn't have a choice. I don't want you to see me like this,"

"I don't give a damn what you look like just let me see you." Sam's hand found a lamp and he turned it on.

"Oh god Dean,"

"I told you it aint pretty,"

Dean stood there pale faced and sweating.

"How did you get this far on foot?" Sam asked closing in on Dean, who raised a hand to warn Sam to stay back.

"Roody picked me up,"

"Seriously you are hiding from a demon and your answer is to hitch a ride with one?"

Roody was the demon who gave Sam and Dean the demon blade when they fought against the seven deadly sins.

"Dean why is the light on?" came a voice as the door opened. "And there is a big void in the gooferdust."

"Look who's visiting," Dean pointed at Sam.

"What were you thinking convincing him to run away?" Sam demanded of Roody.

"Hey look I didn't twist anyone's arm he dragged me into this," Roody said unpacking a brown paper bag.

"Did you remember the pie," asked Dean tentatively.

"Sorry they were all out,"

Dean's face fell, not even on his last night on earth was Dean going to bag some pie.

"So now that you're here are you going to help?" Roody asked Sam.

"Of course but I mean first we have to get out of here!" Insisted Sam.

"Look at him Sam! Does he look like he could run anywhere? No we stay here and we fight do you have the colt or the knife?"

"Of course I do but that and some lousy herbs aren't going to be enough!" Bellowed Sam in anger and frustration.

"It doesn't need to be,"

Sam looked at Dean as he spoke.

"We knew this bitch was coming," Dean began to say as he walked over to Sam.

Dean placed his forehead against Sam's. "All we got to do now is take as many of those freaks as we can that way I'm not going to hell alone,"

Burning hot tears fell from Sam's eyes as Dean put his hand in Sam's hair.

"We're going to do this the usual way, the right way, together?" Asked Dean.

Sam nodded the lump in his throat robbing him of his words.

Roody looked away for a second.

"I love you Sam Singer,"

"I love you…" Sam sobbed. "Dean Winchester."

The couple kissed.

"As touching as this is we are kinda pressed for time!" Roody said getting impatient.

As Sam walked away to get the demon knife for Roody, Dean slapped Sam's arse.

"You old romantic you," Jeered Sam.

"Wait Sam no! That's not Roody!"

Suddenly Sam lunged at the meat suit but too late he lost his grip on the knife and it fell to the floor. With a quick flick of both of Roody's hands Sam was pinned to a wall and Dean was pinned to the floor.

"Now what to do with you, now I have your full attention?!" toyed Roody "Hum maybe I should see what's worth dying for," Roody stretched up and roughly took hold of Sam's face with one hand. Roody lent forward and kissed Sam passionately.

"Um soft lips." Roody let go of Sam's face. "I hope everything is not so soft," Roody's hand slid down Sam's chest and didn't stop until it rested on Sam's bulge.

"Take your fucking dirty discussing dickhead hands off him." Demanded Dean.

"That's not nice Dean you could go to hell for talking like that." Roody was red with rage.

"I'd die ten times over before I let you rape him."

"Well I guess he didn't technically say no," Smiled Roody, Dean wanted this guy, whoever he was, beyond dead. "And dying once will do. You're going straight to Hell," Roody added.

"Fuck you and fuck hell!" Shouted Dean.

"You should be careful someday I might take you up on the offer, but for now, Grubbs up!" Roody shouted as he kicked the gooferdust out of the way and opened the door.

There was a sound of an invisible pack of dogs rushing into the room, then there was a gush of blood from Dean's leg and he howled in pain. Unseen talons ripped at Dean's flesh.

"Stop it please stop. Stop it and I'll do anything you want!" Begged Sam.

"Anything?" Double checked Roody.

"Yes anything just stop it," Agreed Sam.

"Do you hear this Dean?"

Dean shook his head meaning for Sam to stop, he couldn't speak he just managed to lift a hand in Sam's direction. Weather it was to ask for help or just to reach out and touch Sam in his final moments Sam wasn't sure but Sam could not reach out in return and then as Dean choked on his own blood, unable to give sound to the words he tried to speak Dean's arm fell and there he lay dead.

"Aw what a waste of a perfectly good body. Oh well bye Sam," Smiled Roody.

Roody lifted his arm, a bright white light shone from his hand. For a second Sam was blinded but nothing happened.

"I don't understand." Roody said looking from Sam to his hands.

Sam stood up and picked up the demon blade.

"Stay back!" He warned Sam.

"You killed him!" Sam swung the knife but before it made contact with the meat suit Lilith smoked out.

"I know who you are Lilith and I'm coming for you!" He screeched at the ceiling.

Sam dropped the unused knife and fell to the floor beside Dean's body. He kneeled there cradling his lovers head.

"Please don't be dead Dean! Please come back to me, you promised that after Stanford we would never be a part again. Come back, you can't leave me alone again. I promise I'll do anything, I won't tell you off for eating too much pie and I won't complain your music is too loud." Sam kept rocking back and forth causing blood to cover his t-shirt.

"DEAN!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, shaking Dean's soulless body as if he were just a heavy sleeper.