My, my, my! Life hit me hard and I didn't see it coming. Nor did I have my eyes open enough to write this chapter. So… here it only is. I am sorry.

Thank you for the continued support.


(Sturgis)

1620 ZULU – 1820 local
Flight room
USS Patrick Henry

Oh. My. God.

I'm stunned. Speechless.

I can't think straight.

I'm standing into the flight room, barely there from hearing them land. I knew the minute they landed, being with the mechanical crew and everything. I was monitoring them, while they were monitoring my friends. They were the same as when that mishap happened.

I'm stunned.

At everything people can do, or say, or provoke or anything just because. It is a case of just because. I thought idiocy never killed, well it came close this time. too bad there are no laws against said idiocy. But if there were, I'm afraid prison overpopulation would not be a national problem. It would be a real social theme, primordial for every election.

I'm stunned.

At what I'm seeing right now. What I saw only a few seconds ago.

I had been asked to be there for the debriefing because it was my case, too, and I am here. But what I'm seeing is more, much more than what I was bargaining for. Or what I actually thought could happen. I knew there were risks, but getting to know Mac these last few hours I was almost convinced it could not have happened so quickly. I underestimated the effects one action can have. It's not life and death situations, or anything. It could be for life, though.

I don't remember his first day at the Academy, because we sort of became friends the first day of our second year. So I can't really say how it happened the first time. I know Keeter was there. He had been bunkmates with him for the first year, before being transferred and banned from bunk making with Harm. They had gotten into some light trouble. I remember hearing from them every week. They had done something every week. So, I had stepped in, somehow. I was calm, cool and reserved, focused on being a submariner, and they thought that the mixing would prevent further and more embarrassing problems.

It did. Barely. We were instant friends, and I spend my time preventing him from getting his ass in trouble. Which got me in some too. But we were always there for each other. Keeter, Harm, Diane and me.

I honestly didn't think, after what happened to Diane, that he could be really okay again. I also never thought he'd go for it, even if it was his biggest regret with her. They had been in love for almost fifteen years, and I know never took it further than a few kisses here and there. He had always said that had he the chance to experience that again, he'd be there, not wasting time. but I also know the character, and letting go, letting someone in and going for it never was his strongest suit. So I am here, now, half listening and still stunned at the bare display of affection I saw. It was nothing but a hand on her back.

It was everything.


(Harm)

I can't focus.

I only answer the questions CAG asks me because I know I have to appear focused on what just happened a few minutes ago. But I'm not.

Okay, that's not exactly true.

I am focused on what happened a few minutes ago. It's all I think about. But my whole perspective changed. I'm not really focused on the hell we lived through; I'm focused on my interaction with the beautiful women by my side. All I see is that she was up with me, that she was in danger, too and that in the end, she saved us both from punching out.

Because I was ready. Oh so ready to eject and take a plunge into the Adriatic. Be damned the consequences for me and my back, all I wanted to do was to save us both. To save her. I never thought she'd do the job. That took me my complete surprise. But as the relief at trusting her came crashing over me, I knew I was right to go against everything years of experience had taught me. Sometimes, someone else knows better.

Was I crazy to let my life, her life and a multi-million dollar plane in the hands of a Marine who knows absolutely nothing about piloting? Absolutely yes, it's even the craziest thing I ever did. There is no doubt about that. I should be put into the loony bin for pulling a stunt like that. I'm glad my radio was out at the time, or everyone would have witnessed the scene, and what happened behind the curtains.

I think CAG would have grounded my ass forever. I'd have to change designator and find another specialty to serve my country. But having that kind of real, strict privacy never really happened to me before either. And that, while not being something I'd want to experience again if it always has to some with swerving and lurching and rolling like that, was still kind of liberating.

No, scratch that. Not kind of liberating. Definitely liberating. Like nothing I ever experienced in a plane.

I've had some pretty great experiences, but this was of a new calm.

I was serene, calm, like my heart had opened again after being closed off for so long. Just because she was there, her voice helping me through any and everything. who could have thought something like that would ever happen to me again?

Who knew I'd have a second chance, especially with someone like Mac? She looks so much like Diane, and still I can see she's not her. They have a lot in common, like a strong personality or a good judgment, and they always seem to know exactly what I need to hear, be it good or bad.

I was like struck by lightning on this beautiful, sunny first day at the Academy, the first time I led eyes on Diane. It was an instant attraction, and more, as I took some time to realize. But we never went further. It was reciprocate, we both knew the other was feeling as strongly as we did. But it was also against the rules, and I guess after four years we just never gave it a go, because my advancement had come sooner, or because the possibility of be on the same ship at least once after graduation was enough for us. It shouldn't have been, but the habit of never doing anything that could be seen as more than friendship by someone exterior had gotten the best of us.

We had like codes, and we knew every gesture was filled with more than platonic feelings, but we never let it reach the surface. The consequences for us were just too important to risk our careers. At the time, that seemed to be the most important. We both wanted to serve our country, and our personal life could be a threat to that. So, we refused to let four plus years of training go to waste, and choose work over love.

It was my biggest regret when she was killed.

So, I closed my heart.

And it closed itself off.

The grief I felt for so long did that, I never wanted to experience anything like this again. But more than that, I never wanted to allow myself to fall for someone in a uniform. Falling for someone else seemed like a betrayal to Diane, the one I had loved from afar for almost fifteen years. It had never gone beyond a few kissed, temporary retrieves from our strict rules against any non-platonic display of affection. I could not love someone else and then show it to the world. It just made me want to puke.

But it's amazing. How much things can change, and how fast my life can turn around again.
I doubted the effect Mac had on me because of her looks.

I fought everything because she was like a second Diane to my eyes.

But after what happened today in the air, I know two things.

One, she's not Diane. She's my second chance, sure, but my feelings for her are here because of her, not because of a ghost.

Two, my heart isn't closed anymore. She managed, in two little words, to open in widely again. There is nothing I can do about it. There is nothing I want to do about it.

Lightning struck me again, almost eighteen years after it struck me the first time.

I was a seventeen year old boy at the time, dazzled by a sassy sixteen year old who had graduated high school one year in advance.

I am a thirty-five year old, amazed by a thirty-two (don't ask me why I know, I just do) year old who saved both our asses in my bird.

Different time, different circumstances, same feeling.

I'm just lucky it didn't take me months to realize it. As it is, I was quick enough. I've known her for a little less than twenty one hours. To go from, well, twenty one months to the same number in hours to realize I'm in love is a pretty good thing, I think.

I've said it, haven't I?

Well, it's true.

I think I even fell in love with her twice. One at first sight, and the second when I decided to trust her.

It just happened, not even a whole hour ago. As it is, I have no idea what time it is. I can see Mac and Sturgis talk with CAG, and I know I made some answers when I needed to. Other than that, my mind has been focused on the extraordinary ordeal that just happened to me. There are no words to describe it.

I left, thinking I would just live hell on earth. Just one thing to add to my list of crazy shit.

I came back a changed man. I'm in love again. And the one I love is in the military, she's an officer like me, and right now, she's standing not ten feet away from me.

I thought life would never be really good to me again.

I was wrong.


(Keeter)

I'm leaning on the hatchet, my eyes on one of the maps we have. I don't think everyone noticed I was there.

It's okay. I'm only here to wait and haul Harm's ass on a platter, mess with the guy who's just been up with a girl of his dreams.

But it looks like I won't do that, after all.

Debrief is over, and they just exited the room.

That's when I saw it. The look on his face. I saw something on her face, too, but I don't know the Marine enough to say anything about it.

The look on his face, I recognize. I know it too well. It's the same one I had on mine the day I found my wife, and probably the rest of the cruise, too.

I can't mess with the guy.

He just rediscovered life again. I knew I liked the Marine. She's got him hook, line, and sinker.

I've never been so happy for him.


(Mac)

We all arrive to an intersection and I have to let him go.

I have an investigation to finish, and something in the short look I gave Sturgis tells me we could be done tonight. All of a sudden, I don't want to be done tonight. Because it'll mean we'll go away tomorrow. Focus, Marine.

That's what I've been doing for my first and only debrief, and it's exhausting. I wanted to be somewhere else, do something else… anything but what I was doing at the moment.

Curiously, I don't want this investigation to be over. I want to be granted another full day here, no matter what.

But I don't think it's going to happen.

So, before I follow Sturgis back to the Investigation room, I turn to Harm again, and look right into his eyes.

There is something there, and I can feel I'm responsible for that look. I can feel warmth and fuzziness going through my body. There is nothing to do but to enjoy it. I never thought he's really listen to me, or that we'd be saved because of one of my crazy weird intuitions. But that's okay. everything changed after that.

He pulls me out of my constant daydream – I am better than him at hiding it, by the way – when I hear his voice.

"Would you dress in khakis and come to see me in my bunk, Mac, this evening around eight? I need to spend more time with you." His voice is uneven, like a little boy scared to hav a negative response.

Instead, my heart soared at hearing his invitation. There was only one answer to be had.

"With pleasure." I answered, unable to hide a little degree of emotion in my voice.

Reluctantly, I turn around, leaving him and his bunkmate to go back to my investigation. It had taken a new interest, but only because I was on a carrier with him. I just never wanted it to end. Because…

I think this is love.