Okay so I wanted to bring the Atom into this (since it's such an important part of the character) without actually bringing in the Atom. I think making Ray Atom would ruin this fanfiction but not bringing him in wouldn't be accurate.

That didn't make sense did it? Oops.

You'll understand soon, so this could be a total flop and I'm taking a real risk here so be honest (only if your honesty is nice, I'm sensitive!)

A big thanks to my two very dedicated reviewers 'AnnHarrisForever' and 'Sheena Is A Punk Rocker' the two of you always leave me wanting to write a new chapter, so thank you for your reviews, and please let me know if you have any suggestions of new chapters I can do – I'm running out of ideas.

Sorry that was so long… continue reading.


Plans For Shrinking Down to Vigilantism.

Felicity's Point of View.

Being thrown to the floor by the doll maker, taking a bullet to the shoulder, being caught in a massive explosion – the three most painful experiences of my life. But none of them compare to child birth.

The Count threatening me with Vertigo, Slade's sword at my neck, several renditions of a gun pointed at my head – the three most terrifying experiences of my life. But none of the compare to motherhood.

When Oliver went out for his final battle with Slade, when Diggle went undercover in a Russian prison, Roy's first mission out – the three most worrying experiences of my life. But none of them compare to this:

It's Friday night, quarter past nine and I've only just managed to get two week old Cassandra to sleep in her dark brown wooden bassinet in her white walled room. I walk through the penthouse to the kitchen where Ray is waiting for me, handing me a glass of wine as I drop the baby monitor onto the counter and sit opposite him at the island counter.

"She asleep?" He asks, looking as rough as I feel.

I nod in response, taking a long hard sip of the expensive red wine in my glass, "You're getting her when she wakes up," I order, slumping down in my seat, thoroughly exhausted, "though if you're planning on going back to work on Monday, I guess I'll have to get used to doing it alone."

"I told you that I'd stay at home, work from the home office and you could go back in," he retorts, yawning.

I snort a laugh, "You're the CEO, if you're not there, there's no point me going in. I told you it's fine, I'll work from home."

He nods and we sit in silence for a while, basking in the lack of tears and diapers of this moment. And then, in my maternal mind, I remember that Ray had his weekly catch-up with the office today.

"Did you hear from work today?" I ask, knowing full well that he was calling there as I went off for my bath earlier, leaving him in charge of Cassie.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that actually," he says slowly, sipping from his glass of red liquid, "There's been a breakthrough with one of the non-lethal weapon prototypes."

He looks nervous, I think he looks nervous anyway, I'm too exhausted to wonder if it's true so instead I question, "which one?"

"The one that can miniaturize things while maintaining a stabilised mass that can be transferred within difference parts of the object to uphold a purpose, you remember working on the tech for that one?" He asks, and I think I see excitement flash across his face.

"And what's the breakthrough? It works?" I ask teasingly, since most of Ray's ambitious physics exploits haven't ended too promising.

"That it works on humans," he corrects, barely containing an excitement I can now blatantly see, "And the mass distribution works amazingly so that if you were to be miniaturised, you could throw a punch with literally all of your weight, and possibly more, Applied Sciences is working overtime trying to find a way to put the tech into a person so that the original machine isn't required while working on applying additional mass so you could hit far above your capabilities at regular size."

"Wait so this technology could be transferred into a person? And they'd be able to shrink and distribute mass at will?" I ask, trying to keep up in my sleep-deprived state.

"Pretty much yeah," he replies, putting down his glass to lean over the counter to me, "but the mass distribution is only able to function at subatomic size. But the powers themselves should be able to be absorbed into a person, and then they'd have these abilities for life. Applied Science sees no lethal side effects and the outcome could be extraordinary."

Then my mind catches up with Ray's and everything becomes just a little bit clearer, "Please tell me you're not thinking of using this technology on yourself," I demand, placing my glass so hard on the table that some slashes over the side.

"Well…" Ray begins, but I'm not done yet.

"And what? CEO by day, teeny tiny vigilante by night? 'Cause I assume that is what you'd want to use the technology for – vigilantism. And then you just play daddy to our little girl in between? You can't do it all Ray, something would have to give, and it's sure as hell not going to be your duty to our daughter, nor the job that keeps a roof over our heads."

I don't realise I'm standing until Ray rises from his seat also, his tone calm where mine was hectic, "Felicity," he treads carefully, "All I've wanted since I became the CEO of Queen Consolidated was to save this city, so our daughter can roam the streets one day knowing she'll be perfectly safe. But I'm kidding myself if I think that I can do that by sitting in my office, it's not helping, it's never helped."

"It is helping," I plead, "It is making a difference, you are making a difference."

"Not enough," he replies, and I see the pain in his eyes and part of me knows it makes sense, as much as we try QC's vision of Star City is still just a dream, the only good work being done effectively is by team Arrow, and with me out of the works and more and more bad guys creeping out of the woodwork, Oliver is biting off more than he can chew. "The Arrow needs all the help he can get, and I want to help him as a subatomic particle sized man who can transfer his mass density."

Well when he puts it like that – no. No, I won't let him, I've witnessed first-hand the dangers that life brings. And Oliver hasn't been able to have a life outside of the Arrow, this will tear our family apart, but only if I let it. I change tactics, since reasoning hasn't worked so far, maybe mocking will help.

"And what are you going to call yourself? Subatomic man?"

He smiles slightly and I realise he's already thought of a name, "I was thinking Atom."

I scoff, "The Arrow and the Atom, working together to save Starling City from itself," I scoff once more for good measure, "I'm not buying it, why do you want to be a vigilante all of a sudden, you were against it last time I checked."

"We had a daughter, Felicity, that's what changed. And she's not safe in this city, not now maybe not ever," he pleas, brown eyes raking over my hostile stance, arms crossed over my still enlarged belly.

"Then we'll move," I bargain, "Pack everything up and move someplace safe, somewhere where there is no need for vigilantism. We'll go to England, they're nice right?"

"This is our home, our city," he retorts, "and I want to save it."

My arms drop to my sides, "I don't want you to save it. I want you here, at home with me and your daughter, safe."

Then he hits an all-time low, "You realise that you're a vigilante, right? You work behind the law to save this city, you just don't have a costume like the rest of your team."

I know he doesn't mean it to hurt me, but it does hurt. "Okay, so you're tiny, what then? What do you do? You don't even know how to fight."

"I'll learn."

I scoff for what feels like the hundredth time tonight and my arms fold over my belly once more, "You will literally be stepped on."

"I'm not talking about going up against bad guys face to face. But what if Oliver needs intelligence? I can be a fly on the wall, drawing absolutely no attention to myself as I sneak in. And with this technology I can shrink other people to the same size, they'll be so confused and unknowing that they'll be easy pickings."

"Yeah, they'll be really easy pickings. So then you'll kill them, right?" I test, knowing full well that the man I married is not a murderer.

"No, I won't. But will you just think of all the possibilities?" He all but begs.

"I am thinking of the possibilities, the possibility that you could die. You could actually get yourself killed Ray, and then I'd have to raise our daughter all on my own. And when she asks where her daddy is I'll have to be the one to tell her that her daddy was a subatomic particle sized moron who got himself killed!"

"Just think it over?"

"No," I tell him firmly, tears streaming down my face, "If I wanted to watch my husband go out to his potential death every night, then I would have married Oliver, or Barry for that matter."

"Barry?" He questions. Shit, I haven't told him about that one.

"The Flash," I brush under the carpet, speaking as if he should know.

His eyes widen, "You've dated the Flash? As well as the Arrow."

I want to answer him that no, we didn't actually date date, we had a kiss and a dance and a connection, but we weren't in the right place or time, nor have we ever been, but I hold back, stick to my guns and answer differently.

"Is that really important right now?" I scream, forgetting about the baby in the other room, "The point is that I couldn't stand to lose you, and that's what will happen if you do this, I will lose you, our little girl will lose you, screw the city, what about us?"

"I'm doing this for you," he bargains slowly, his hand rising to wipe away my tears but I swat it away before he can touch me, "I'm doing this for our daughter."

"No, you're doing this for your ego."

He sighs, "What do you want me to do then, Felicity? This technology needs to be put to good use."

"Then let someone else be the Atom," I whisper pleadingly, swiping my own tears away, "Give this burden to someone else."

"Like who?" He whispers, "Who can I trust with this?"

I think for a moment, because there is no way in hell Ray Palmer is going to be a fricking vigilante, not while he has a child with me anyway. And I can tell that he's given up for now, but I wonder if this'll be forgotten, whether this will one day be the ruin of us, if one day this will turn around and bite me on my ass.

"Just do it," I whisper, with a small shake of my head, "If you really want to do this, then do it, I'm not going to stop you."

Then he's the other side of the counter, wiping away my tears and holding my face when they're gone. I grip onto his wrists and look up to his eyes, filled with sadness as I'm sure mine are, "Not if this is going to break you, not if you don't want this. I just want to help Felicity, and since Cassie came into our lives, I'm not sure if I've actually been doing any good. I will find someone else to be the Atom. I will do anything for you."

"I don't want you to not do this because of me," I whimper back to him, lips puckering as tears fall again, "but I don't think I could cope with the worry, and if something did happen to you… it doesn't bare to think about."

He kissed my forehead quickly before crouching so his eyes are level with mine, "I couldn't begin to contemplate what this would do to you, I'm sorry, I should've taken you into consideration and I didn't think to. It doesn't matter, nothing else matters except you and Cassandra, and I will stay at home every day for the rest of my life if that is what you want."

"That's not what I want," I begin, snorting back tears, "You would get under my feet, I can barely stand to be in the same room as you for an hour, I don't know how I'd feel for the rest of my life."

My attempt at humour is short lived in laughs but worth it to clear the air, to let Ray know that there are no hard feelings here. I talk again, more serious this time, "I just want you safe, Ray."

He nods, "Likewise, so do me a favour?"

"Anything."

He takes a deep breath, "I know you said that you wouldn't but I need you to promise me that you'll do no more field work for the Arrow. And I get that hacking for him is a part of you, and that's fine, but I want you to do that from home, no more nights at the Foundry. Okay?"

"Okay," I reply, because that's the least I can do.

"Promise?" He asks.

"Promise," I answer, "But I have an idea for that little device of yours, that doesn't involve another vigilante but improving the ones we've got."

He smiles, "You've got that ingenious idea look in your eyes, I love that look."

"Like you said, a small enemy is a confused enemy. If we could turn the device into some sort of hand gun, when the Arrow faces life long enemies like Slade and Malcom Merlyn that can't be contained in a prison, we can shrink them down and stick them in glass bottles," then I see the look on Ray's face and realise how bonkers that sounds, "too far?"

"Just a little bit," he replies, "but you're right about it being a gun, but it'll have to be reversible. The Arrow could just shrink an enemy then make them big again once they're in police custody. What do you think?"

"Seems a little odd, don't you think?" I retort, "Maybe we should just make it into a hand held device and let Oliver use it as he pleases."

"Yeah," Ray replied slowly, "Good plan."

Then the piercing sound of a shrill cry echoing through the baby monitor stop us from continuing our conversation and I'm quick to shout, "Your turn!" to Ray and go back to sipping my wine at the counter. He stalks off in the direction of the nursery and soon I hear him cooing over the baby monitor, singing off key the only lullaby he knows and soon the crying stops.

Yeah, we're going to be alright.


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