The dog was playing in the waves, hopefully he would run himself dry before coming back. I turned my attention towards Charlie's slow stroking of Elisabet's hair, she had fallen asleep on the quilt we sat on. We had even brought Mina's cot outside, the sun warming us as we had eaten lunch on the beach.

"I've been thinking..." I started. He looked up at me, lost in his own thoughts for a moment. "You thanked me last night. What was that about?" It was bothering me, I hadn't just delivered a service.

"I... How should I put it?" He gazed out at the sea again and I waited for him to find the right words. "For loving me. For caring about me. For giving me what I craved for."

It made me smile. "Then I want to thank you too." We sat in silence for a while, his hand making its way over mine. "You seemed to have some trouble the second time. It looked like it was hurting you." He furrowed his brow when I mentioned it.

"I was really tired, but it had been building up for so long and I was sure it would put both of us right, a bit. And it did hurt, like I was burning up from the inside." I squeezed his hand, it had helped, he had put me a bit back together.

An owl fluttered down beside me and I looked at the envelope in the beak. It was addressed to me, but I didn't recognise the strained handwriting. Opening it and reading, the knot in my stomach formed again. It was from Andromeda, announcing that the funeral would be on the eleventh. My mouth ran dry and I fought the shaking.

"What date is it today?" I asked, having lost track of time.

"Eighth. Tomorrow is..." He didn't finish, but leaned over to read my letter. I laid down on my side, facing away from him. Hopefully they had found a way to stop the bodies turning to dirt, or it wouldn't be much to bury. He laid down close to me and put his arm so I could curl up around it and he curled around me. His breath warmed the nape of my neck.

"Your mother told me how much you did to get me out." I gently nibbled at his index finger and it tasted of the ham sandwich.

"I can't live without you. For as long as I can remember you have been there for me." He stroke my lips and dug his elbow harder into my abdomen. Again we just existed for each other. "I brought your black skirt and blazer," he said after a long time. I kissed his fingertip as a thank you. After a while he began to shake with the effort of clinging to me.

"You can just rest now." I was as calm as possible. The next days wasn't going to be fun.

"I have to get up." I released his hand so he could. "But I can't. I'm trying, but I can't!" I hadn't felt him moving at all, just some tears dripping into my hair.

"Then just stay 'til you're calmer." I stroke the back of his big hand, trapped between it and his body.

"No, I can't! I have to piss and need to get up." He was starting to sound desperate. "I'm a grown man, I have to be strong for us, you're doing better now and I'm not about to flip out!" He gasped once for air and I began to get troubled by his behaviour.

"Shh, breath and calm down." I didn't know what else to say and he began to sob loudly.

"No, and I can't hold it in much longer. I'm going to go all over us!" The panic in his voice broke my heart. "I know you did, but that was different. The last time I smothered you, the two first you were broken down. My muscles won't listen!" He was trying to get loose against his body's will, not getting good results. Elisabet had woken by his yells or sobbing and crawled up to my face.

"Can you be a big girl and run up to the house to get one of the other adults?" I asked her and she nodded importantly before staggering away on bare feet.

"Merlin, it's coming. No, no, please!" His sobs became a muffled scream as he bit down on the top of my shoulder. I ignored the sting, the torture of hearing him was much greater.

He was hyperventilating again. "Hush, baby, it's okay, don't worry," I tried to soothe us both with.

"Breath. It's going to work, just like last time." I tried believing it, but he just kept going faster.

My mind became blank, I couldn't do anything for him. We were trapped.

After several long minutes Bill came to our rescue again, bent the arm away so I could wriggle loose and made Charlie sit up, holding him by the upper arms. My heart broke more at the sighed of him, shivering, crying, both hands against his crotch. Bill was trying to talk to him, get him to gain control and he did.

He stood up and staggered a couple of steps outside the quilt before opening his trousers and relieved himself, swaying and gasping a couple of times. I got up and hugged him from behind, it had turned out okay. He took a deep, shaking breath and his shoulders loosened up.

"How is it you can just jump into a situation and sort it out?" I asked Bill, in reality wanting to thank him.

"Guess it comes with the job..."

"So... Wanna go fishing?" I pulled my legs up on the couch and faced George.

"What?" He frowned at me.

"I was going to ask how you were doing, but then I realised it was stupid." I tried to get him to open up, take his mind of tomorrow.

"Do you believe in a life after this?" I was taken by surprise and he looked directly at me. I gave a weak smile and took his hand in mine.

"Yes, Nangijala." He retracted his hand and looked hurt by my words.

"I'm serious."

"Dead serious," I answered before realising the dark-humoured pun. "It wasn't for nothing I read the Brothers Lionheart to you. It isn't just a novel, it has a core of truth."

"It's a children's book," he argued.

"Maybe it is. But how can you believe that it just goes black and that's it?" I looked closer at him, curious at what his response would be.

"I didn't say I did. So then You-Know-Who and his followers are living happily in Cherry Valley or whatever?" He was really cross and sarcastic about it.

"Nah, they are locked up in Katla's old cave, starving to death." It was good to fantasies a bit and we enjoyed the mental picture for a while.

"And... Fred?" He had hesitated and sounded scared at what I might say.

"He's doing all right, making fireworks and stuff. All the kids there simply adore him, so do the barmaid. But he keeps blowing himself up, you should be there to help him." I was astonished at how easily the words flowed. A smile threatened to fly over his lips.

"And Tonks and Remus opened a restaurant-slash-library, making big money on feeding and tutoring people," he added for me. We were both somewhere between desperately clinging to that hope and convincing us self it wasn't real.

"Yeah, they'll all meet us with a pint of the best mead." I could vividly see them by the bar in a brown pub where two of the walls were completely covered in books, many others reading, laughing and eating. Remus wasn't grey or scarred, but submerged in a big book while Tonks was trying to get a kiss from behind the counter, Fred laughing at one of Mad-Eye's crazy stories. Of course he was hardly recognisable without the electric-blue eye and wooden leg, and known as Sir Alastor Moody around the village.

"And my ear..." He touched the side of his head.

"Fred has it framed in, showing it off at every opportunity, telling them that one day he'll have the rest of his twin with him, too." I knew I was getting out on deeper water and his eyes became misty.

"Yeah, that'll be nice..." It wasn't just happy any more, but still a fantasy we wanted to keep.

I sat up in the bed with a start, the stabbing pain in my hip that had woken me was gone as fast as it had come. You bit her, cold-hearted murdered her for a couple of drops which you later wasted. I cradled Lisa closer, she had fallen asleep on top of me and her head now rested down on my breast.

It's only a matter of time before one of you goes insane. I shut my eyes tight, wishing the whispering in my head would go away. He's slipping. But he isn't foolish, one day he'll make up his mind and leave. You'll be alone again.

I lifted the small body closer to my face and felt her scent, a gentle whiff of Sirius. Gone, forever. She isn't going to replace him, more like grow up and see how bad you are.

He laid a hand on the lower part of my back, warming it. I turned and saw the reflected moonlight in his eyes, not much other distinguishable through the dark before he sat up and rubbed my whole back in circles.

I removed one of the dark locks from Lisa's face. Maybe I should see if I managed to do something about my own for tomorrow. His nose was gently stroking my cheek and his lips left a moist trace. He isn't going to leave. Yet.

I laid the toddler down in front of me and got up. He looked at me, silently asking why. "Bathroom," I mouthed and he followed me, crunching down and looking deep into my eyes when I sat on the toilet, listening to the tinkling.

"Whispering?" He asked, knowing it had bothered me before. I nodded and we stood up, knickers still around my knees. He put his forehead on mine, directing me careful towards the wall, hands on my hips. He moved them down to lift me up a bit, my legs wrapping around him.

"I'm too tired," I confessed, a different part of me wanting him to start, to fuck me so hard I didn't manage to think. He kissed my nose and let go, stepping away and looked at me as I dragged the worn piece of clothing up again. His hand touched my soar belly. I looked down to discover a big bruise.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." He moved up to the teeth-marks on my shoulder, tracing them.

"You couldn't help it. It would be a hundred times worse..." He understood my unsaid thoughts. I didn't mind being covered in bruises and other injuries as long as he didn't have the marks of sharp fangs on his neck.

Goose-bumps were forming across his chest and I motioned for us to go back, taking his hand loosely in mine. It was a bit warmer in the bedroom and I lifted Mina from her cot, she instantly began sucking my nipple.

I laid down in the bed, Charlie adjusting the sheet to cover us. This wasn't the first time I wished I had let Bill be, it screwed up my mind that my boyfriend was uncle to my daughter. The short snort-laugh made me look at him. He should get a hair-cut, almost-shoulder-length don't fit him too good.

"I don't want to wake up in the morning." He gave a half-smile. The morbid humour wasn't lost on me, don't we all think like that sometimes? But this wasn't just 'sometime'.

"Mhm, know the feeling." I got my finger out from the small fist and rubbed the bridge of my nose. Elisabet's face peeked up form the other side of Charlie's stomach and she adjusted to use him as a pillow, resting her cheek on her folded arms. She looked like an angel as she drifted off again, snoring quietly.

"We'll get a port-key home tomorrow," he whispered.

"No, Remus and Tonks' funeral is on the eleventh," I reminded him, my voice hard as stone.

The slight nauseated feeling was annoying. I wasn't even properly awake, but I knew what to expect of the day. I knitted myself together to an even harder knot and the jerking continued.

I tried to straighten my legs but it turned into a bizarre parody of an orgasm. I pulled them back up and turned to lay with my face down, hands gripping the hair on top of my head. He's only interested in your body, when your mind gets too much to tend to he'll be gone.

Pressing my elbows into my knees and muscles below to gain control, my palms were damp with sweat and I focused on the sounds in the room. The baby was hardly audible. The toddler was sucking her thumb. The dog scratched his ear. Nothing else.

I strained my ears. There you go. My hips began slowly moving me back and forth, my diaphragm contracting.

I took hold of my upper arms, digging my fingers into the flesh. What was the clock?

Whatever it was, too much time had passed when I heard footsteps entering the room. My shoulders were jumping at random and I clenched my fists harder, tugging at my own hair.

He pulled my rigid body up to his and held me close, not having to utter a single word to tell me to relax. I couldn't and unwillingly did another one of the parodies and felt the nausea rise.

Suddenly my body became still, every muscle tight. I opened my eyes to see his upper arm, sunlight emphasising the pattern of fading freckles. If we sat there long enough they would refreshen, his skin sucking up the warmth. But that wasn't an option, we had several things to attend to.

"I should get in the shower..." He was wondering if I would be okay. I nodded and he placed me back down. "You can snooze for another hour," he added while going out the door.

After a while I had the distinct feeling someone was watching me. I sat up and saw the man, casually leaning on the door frame, his black fringe falling in the same manner into his eyes. I blinked, it couldn't be...

"Hi Casey, long time no see." He straightened up and moved towards me.

"You're dead," I remarked, somewhere between doubting my own senses and looking for an explanation.

"No, I was dead. Turns out I got back when Bella snuffed it." He put one hand in the pocket of his torn jeans. "I've been at the Leaky Cauldron this past week. You could come with me, get out of this perfect perfectness." He ran a finger over the night stand, pointing out it was spotless.

"You're dead," I repeated, noticing that he looked like he was twenty. No thirty-six-year old with over a decade in Azkaban looks that good, not even him. He ignored me and looked over at Elisabet.

"So this is the result of our romance." He extended his hand to touch her.

"No, leave her alone!" I barked, but didn't move. He stopped and tried to read me before slowly retracting and turned to my other daughter.

"And this is your second bastard child with the Weasley-boy. Don't you find it ironic that you gave birth to her right after you lost the first one?" The trademark half-arrogant smirk flashed over his face.

"No, now leave." If he was just my imagination I was still going to kick him out, even if I had to do it literary.

"Oh, relax. We should spend Christmas together." He leaned against the wall and observed me while I pulled the sheet up to my chin, shaking my head slowly. "C'mon, you don't want to be with these slow goodie-two-shoes?"

"Yes, I do. I grew up and stopped being a bastard." He looked confused at my response.

"First of all, you would be a bitch, not bastard. Second, it's called being a Marauder. Third, you'll always be trapped as a teenager." He ran a hand through his raven hair, his grey eyes glimmering.

"Get the bloody fuck out." He looked impressed that I talked to him that way.

"At least let me have a hug." He opened his arms and smiled at me, but I gave him a cold stare and placed my left wrist in between my jaws to deal with the anxious rocking. "Handshake, then?" He suggested and I accepted, realising a second before we touched that a caterpillar made it's way across his palm.

I pulled back and looked up into his cheerful face. He shrugged and the first butterfly took flight from his head. I blinked rapidly, not believing what I was seeing: he was dissolving into them, flying out the open window. Soon they were all gone, but I kept my eyes on the window, waiting for what would happen next.

Nothing did before Charlie got back five minutes later, a pink towel around his hips. Sitting down beside me he removed the hand from my mouth and looked at it. Two small punctures, dark fluid seeping out.

It filled me with an anger at myself and I tore the towel off him, pushed him down, massaging him quickly before directing it in between my legs. He was confused at my sudden plunge and tried to stop me.

"I have to," I said through angry tears, but now sat still across him, trying to make up my mind.

"Then let me get the girls out and close the door." He was so patient it made me feel bad.

"Okay," I breathed and slid off, trying to get comfortable with my head on the fluffy pillow.

It wasn't fun to wait while he was downstairs, but he got back and climbed up on me, kissing me deep, but gently. My hands went around his neck and I adjusted my legs around his waist.

He looked into my eyes, watching for a sign to tell him it wasn't wrong. I coughed and his brow furrowed.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea." He brushed some stray hair off my cheek.

"Please," I said half-mocking before coughing again. "Just a quick one before we have to get dressed for the... Yeah, you're right." The image of headless Fred was back in my head, a sure turn-off. He sighed and massaged my ears lightly, not wanting to get up. I put my legs down again and looked at the open window, a single black butterfly fluttered in.

"It's not going to go away if we wait," I commented and we slowly sat up. He took hold of my wrist again and summoned a roll of bandage, starting to wrap it tightly in.

"Tell me how this works again." He was giving a new attempt to distract our thoughts.

"All magical creatures have a lot of magic in their blood, just as wizards have more than muggles. When it comes to vampires it is this magic that transports nutrition around the body in a steady flow due to the lack of a heartbeat. The base consists of the plasma the vampire had in his or her human form, but have morphed into a darker mass. This morphing starts the second the attacker have injected the toxins..." I grew tired of reciting the book and looked down, he was almost done.

After he tied the last knot I got up slowly and went over to the dresser where the insect had landed. It flexed it's wings, the blue rings glimmering in the sun. I closed my hands carefully around it and tried to have it back out, but it stayed on my palm. It was stuck to my hand after I've shook it too, so I looked closer at it. The body was just as perfectly black as the wings and the rings weren't just one colour, it varied from midnight-blue to azure with some hints of silver. It took flight at last, heading towards the flower beds and I turned back to Charlie.

"Good you got it out or Bill would have a heart attack," he said and I almost smiled at the remark, the one irrational thing Bill was scared of, a harmless creature of beauty. Our clothes were scattered over the bed and I hoped I didn't have to choose.

Charlie was already buttoning up his off-white shirt when I picked up my skirt and looked over it. It had a pretty high split, but I didn't have any other option and pulled it on. He had thoughtfully brought two blouses for me, both too revealing for the occasion. I hold them up for him to decide. Of course he picked the tightest one with V-neck. I pulled it over my head without further ado and got working with the beauty-charms, I could at least try to look decent. Afterwards I slipped on the black high heals and took in Charlie, the pinstriped suit I've nagged him into buying fitted neatly, but he hadn't put on a tie yet.

"Blue or red?" He hold up two and looked nervous at me.

"That isn't red, it's pink. Did you just take those two?" I hoped he didn't, light blue wasn't much better.

"Yeah, be glad I managed to think of it at all." It was a slight edge in his voice so I moved closer and kissed his chin.

"Blue, then. But you have to tie it yourself." He smiled understanding and placed it around his neck. I've never got the hang of getting ties to look good. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself, memories of Remus standing behind me playing in my mind. He's looking at our reflection and directing my hands to make the knot even and nice, then I try on my own, fails and he have to show me again. I closed my eyes and the image dissolved when I opened them again.

The butterfly was back, now sitting on my head, body blending with my hair. It seemed appropriate with black hair now, but perhaps it was just overdoing it. Another one joined it, if I wasn't much mistaken it was a small tortoiseshell. Exhaling forcefully I wondering what they were doing out here at the coast. They fluttered over on the wall, ready to scare the living daylight out of unsuspecting boys.

I went through my hair quickly with the nearest hair-brush, adding a couple of dark straws to the many red and white ones. I'd done my best, still it had split ends and less shine than a page of recycled paper.

"We're almost late," I heard from the hall. The butterflies were still on the wall when I closed the door behind me. Charlie stood with Mina in his arms, Lisa by his side in one of her better dresses.

"Ready?" I could hear him swallow anxiously and I touched his arm in the passing and got today's lifesavers from the purse I didn't bother to bring. We swapped so I had the baby and he took the smoke and Kleenex in the pockets of his jacket.

I noticed I was light-headed when we got down in the living-room, Fleur and Bill in pretty well-matching robes, George sat on the couch with his face in his hands wearing a simple dark suit.

I blinked rapidly to get out of the trance and stopped the swaying. Most people had already left the clearing or was getting ready to. Bill was standing a couple of metres in front of me, his left hand gripping his wife's right, looking down at the fresh grave.

I closed my eyes and tried to recall what had happened, but the only thing that came to mind was that I've coughed when it wasn't any other sounds. Charlie removed his hand from my back and I walked to stand beside Fleur, glancing quickly at the smooth headstone, not wanting to read the inscription.

A breeze took hold of my hair, making it interlace a bit with the blonde. Bill let go of the rose, it landed on top of several others and the popping sound told me they were gone.

"You aren't going to be sick again? You seem a bit..." Charlie said from behind me. I understood his concern, but shook my head weary. "Let's go, then." He took hold of my shoulder again, ready to assist me, but I turned around to looked at him. His eyes were glossy but dry, a crease forming between his brows. I rubbed the top of my face with my fingertips and he placed his arms around me. Slowly I slipped down despite his attempts to keep me up.

"What..." I breathed and he sat down on his knees, soaking his trousers. What was the purpose of going back to a crowd of people we hardly knew?

"We have to. Mum needs to see that we haven't abandoned her." He had a point, be there for the family if not for anything else. We got up again, but I kept my gaze down, falling into another trance.

Sometimes later we were in the living-room of the Burrow. I didn't recognise half the people there, but the ones I did seemed truly sad. Oliver Wood stood beside a younger dirty-blond girl, both hanging their heads. Cornelius Fudge's green bowler was just as inappropriate as my cleavage. Neville Longbottom had bloodshot eyes, but the posture of someone that had proven themselves. I looked more around, but was too tired to pin names to all the faces.

Charlie laid a clammy hand on mine and we made our way up the stairs and faced each other in the narrow hallway. It was peaceful here, the noise downstairs barely noticeable.

"Could you massage my shoulder a bit?" He had cut himself off not to add "it's killing me," the small shame in his eyes betrayed him anyway. I nodded and we went into his old bedroom, he took off his jacket and sat down on the narrow bed. I rubbed my hands together to get some warmth in them before placing them on him. The shirt made it hard to get a good grip and I told him to take it off.

"The problem is that you have pulled both the Teres Minor and Major. Adding a irritated Trapezius doesn't help." I ran my fingers deep in between the creases of the muscles and over where it was stiff.

"Whatever you say," he moaned. I leaned over a bit, he had closed his eyes and his thoughts were in a different place. I kept kneading his shoulders and upper parts of the back, my hands getting heated from his body.

When he murmured a thanks I stopped and got off the bed. I didn't register his torso against me before he ran a finger down my spine. I kissed his neck as an response and he pushed me close to the closet, his lips playing with the top of my ear.

"It's your brother's funeral," I mumbled, stopping for a moment.

"Do I look like I care?" His eyes were blazing. I decided I didn't care either and continued the kissing.

My hands caressed his bare back and he ran his hand up my thigh, stopping swiftly at the fringe of my stocking before taking hold of the edge of the high-cut knickers and pulling them down. Moving one hand to his side I felt the ribs expanding and contract fast due to his breath. He cupped his hand between my legs, stroking my clitoris with one finger.

"That's nice, eh?" He gave a small, almost evil laughter and I started to open his trousers, moaning. He helped me with his other hand before lifting me up, fingers nearly digging into my buttocks.

We found each others lips, electricity filling the air and I pulled him up to me, anticipation running high.

"Ah!" He pierced me with pleasure and I couldn't hold the sound in, tightened my hold and moved with him. He ran the tip of his tongue over my jaw and I moaned louder, in my own ears sounding like a porn star, but his eyes widened in response to it. One of my arms was bent up to have my hand on the back of his head, his hair between my fingers.

Faster, deeper, better. Our moans and groans filled the dark room and a familiar tremble began to form in the my lower abdomen. I banged my head in the wardrobe door and he gripped harder, making sure I lost it completely.

"There, tha... Oh!" I couldn't bother to care who may hear us, my body was moving on its own accord, my mouth open and emitting moans bordering to screams. He placed his forehead to mine, the last jerks making him ejaculate before we slumped down in a tangled mass of arms and legs.

Still panting he placed is lips on mine, leaving me to play with his lower lip while he caught his breath.

"We should go back." I had barely removed my lips to say it and was now caressing his chin.

"Um... Sure you don't want to do it again?" Really hard choice he was giving me, I wanted to never leave the small room, keep repeating it 'til the end of time. But it was an unknown amount of 'I'm sorry for your loss's still to be received downstairs. "They won't miss us." He put his hand between my legs and stroke the edges, one finger on each side.

I parted my legs more and he kept stroking gently, passing over the clit several times before I turned around to make it easier. He put one arm around my waist and reached down again, his finger rubbing slowly, still making me press up against him.

"Faster," I muttered while gripping his thighs. He did and I would have doubled over if he hadn't hold me. I bit down on my lip and my eyes began to roll, delight flowing through me for an eternity before he stopped.

"Okay, we can go now." He removed his hand and stood up. I used a moment to pull myself together and when I got up he was just finishing with his tie again.

"You did that just to have a couple of minutes to think?" I gave a short laugh and he ran a hand through his hair, making it lay back.

"Pretty much. Come." He went out the door and down the stairs, not bothering to wait for me until we entered the kitchen. It was quiet in the house again, the only ones left sitting by the table or standing around it.

I took the pack of cigarettes out of Charlie pocket where he stood beside me, leaning on the counter. I lighted it and inhaled, burying my feelings deeper. He took it from my fingers, closing his eyes while the toxins were absorbed into his blood. Bill grabbed it, took a couple of angry blows before sending it to Fleur, she looked classy, as always. Percy's attempt almost ended in coughing and he gave it to Ginny who blew it out gracefully before handing it to Harry. He took some absent-minded puffs before Hermione got it, taking a very shallow drag. Ron thought he would get to keep it and inhaled deeply before Arthur snatched it out of his hand and put it to his lips, his eyes expressionless. When Molly got it there wasn't much left and I took up a new one, letting her keep it.

"Where's George?" The fright was suddenly evident in Arthur's eyes, looking around and waiting for one of us to say he was there or there. I put the unlit smoke slowly down and thought about what I had said: you should be there with him.

"I think I saw him go upstairs a couple of hours ago," Ginny said, trying to be optimistic. I didn't care who stayed and who went to look as long as I reached the bathroom first. The door wasn't locked and I flung it open.

Empty. I squatted down and felt the blood on the floor. It was cold. On my way out again I noticed the razor blade in the sink, one side of it coloured red. Someone had got to him before it was too late. But where were they now?

"Hey Kevin?" I got out the door and met up with Ginny, tilting my head to one side as a response to her call. "Miss these?" She held up the black knickers, cocking an eyebrow at me. I grabbed them and pulled them on, straightening my skirt afterwards.

"You heard us, huh?" I tried to seem apologetic, but couldn't.

"The gorillas in Congo stopped their chewing to try to find out who were being murdered." She had found the sarcasm, but quickly turned over to anger. "How could you?" She sounded like I had... Disgraced the memory of her brother, just what I had.

"Therapy. We needed to clear our heads and... You wouldn't understand unless you've tried, which you should." I knew it didn't sound too logical. Charlie emerged from the twins room and his sister sat her eyes in him.

"Next time you're feeling down, don't just go and bang her up the wall." She jerked a thumb in my direction, but he ignored her.

"He's sleeping in there with Angelina. I think they're relaxing in each others company." He was happy that someone outside the family could help.

"Try it," I advised her again as we went down the narrow staircase, wondering if I really was right or not.

What if he woke up before her? Had she given him a hint of light or would he just go and get the razor again? Would he leave without letting us get a chance to stop him? What can you do, you're just a hobby.

I shook the thoughts out of my head and took another puff of the cigarette I now had for myself. Charlie tightened his grip around my waist a notch and put his forehead between my shoulder-blades. It was many free seats in the sitting room, but I preferred his lap, the best for both of us.

What was happening in Nangijala now? The barmaid was giving Fred a refill of his beer while he sat with some papers, trying to figure out why his work exploded again. She put a slender hand on his cheek and he looked up her friendly face, greenish eyes asking him to be a bit social active now. You're fooling yourself, digging for fake hope.

I relocated to the armchair usually occupied by Molly and put my arms around my knees. The graveyard had only four headstones. We couldn't contact the authorities after the incident with Amy, and Molly had suggested carefully that we had a secret burial in a clearing in the forest surrounding the Burrow. The spot she had in mind had been used a couple of times for deceased pets, peaceful grass and beautiful wild flowers creating the right atmosphere. A big rock was the grave marker, Remus had written in name, dates and a simple poem with his wand.

Molly wanted her brothers to rest in peace, not in a unfriendly place next to a million strangers. The Ministry hadn't objected because they were war heroes and had paid for the big gravestones.

It had now been opened a new cemetery for the ones fallen in the second war, but no one wanted Fred to be that far from home. If it came to that, George was going right next to him.

"I don't want to leave them alone. She can't watch him all the time." The others seemed to know who I was thinking of.

"What do you suggest? We can't watch him every second either." Bill had a valid point.

"It would be very easy for him to disappear while she slept." I kept my tone light but wanted to shout at him for not getting it. "I'm staying to see how he's doing." His mother was not enough right now.

"Me too," Charlie agreed through gritted teeth, the heel of his hand pressed hard into his stomach. Great, are we going to have to deal with that too on top of everything else?

"Could you take the girls just for one night?" I'm sadly only capable of watching one needy at the time.

"Yeah, Fleur could use some experience..." He was quiet, thinking of other things, but I knew Bill cared too much to say no.

I watched them through the dark, sitting on the edge of the bed to make room for Charlie. It glittered in her eyes when she opened them and I knew she saw me.

"Hi Angelina. We didn't want to run the chance that he may wake up before you. Beside, Molly kicked Arthur out of their bedroom so he's in Bill and Charlie's old, Hermione's with Ron and Percy's back in his own." It was partly true, Molly needed some time by herself and had told her husband this clearly.

She sat up a bit, supporting her body on one elbow, but I could see she enjoyed his closeness. "It's good to sleep next to someone, right? Please take care of him, even though he may not want it. Someday he's going to thank you." I barely made a sound, afraid to wake the guys. She nodded at me, probably having though the same things herself.

Charlie let out a snore and turned towards me and I ran my hand across his cheekbone, speculating at waking him. I decided against it, I could watch them a couple of hours more, my head was too full to get any rest.

"Go back to sleep, it's only half past five." Her eyes were already starting to glide shut and she laid down again, the arm around her gripping a bit firmer.

Maybe I didn't have to be here, he had found his saving angel. But if he had set his mind at joining his twin it was better to be safe than sorry. April '78 don't seem to be a good time to be born at, or I'm just over-analysing.

Tonks had breathed new life into Moony, giving him something to live for, fight for. History repeats itself over and over again. I got along good with her, we were the same type. His type.

And of all the three hundred and sixty-frickin'-five days of the year she had to squeeze that kid out on the fourth of April. Same day as he had become a father twenty years earlier. Fate really have a liking for irony.

I felt his heartbeat, steady like a beating drum. What if the Ministry went back and changed their verdict? Bill would get custody of Mina, but what about Lisa? She had no living relatives. Shipped off to an orphanage.

Wait, Andromeda and Narcissa were Sirius cousins. The first had enough with her grandson, I couldn't imagine the latter taking care of the love-child of her hated relative.

I could clearly see it, Mina growing up and being loved by her father and step-mother, possible half-siblings. She got prettier for every day, getting a boy-friend and introducing him for her family who likes him from the first second. Big wedding, getting kids and living happily ever after.

Meanwhile Lisa is in the care of a cold-hearted woman who only sees the kids as a source of money and headaches. Often fights break out and she gets many scars from them, hooking up with a bad boy with a motorcycle, showing off. Ending up in jail or as a bloody pulp on the freeway.

If they met at Hogwarts they would not remember and hate each, Lisa secretly jealous at Mina's family, Mina wanting some of the others action.

I laid down. Charlie can do a lot, but get charge of two children he had little blood relation to was beyond his reach. Tears trickled out of my closed eyes and I dreamt of letters arriving, making my worst fears come to life. Death.