This chapter just flew out of me this morning and I have already begun working on chapter ten. I really love this story. I seem to say that with every update but when I really love it, writing it comes so easy.
…
Chapter Nine.
When the garage closed at noon for the hour, Beth took her lunch and left the office. It was another thing that had developed between them and she wasn't entirely sure why or how but now, every day, she went out back and ate her lunch with Daryl. There weren't chairs or a table and they ate on the ground with their backs resting against the back wall but she brought a blanket so they could both sit on it and they sat there, side by side, sometimes talking but most of the time not, and it was just another thing that she began looking forward to every day.
He ate his bologna sandwich as she crunched on her red apple and they both watched a stray cat slowly walk across the lot, pretending he wasn't interested in them but approaching closer every few minutes.
"I'm glad you caught that mouse when you did," she commented and he didn't say anything in response except for a soft "Hmmmm."
She shifted and stretched her legs out in front of her, crossing them at the ankle. It was June and each day felt as if it was hotter than the day before. She had scooped her hair up in a ponytail and had taken her shoes off, placing them beside her. But even in her dress, she still felt uncomfortable. She looked to Daryl and the jeans and Dale's Garage tee-shirt he wore with the work boots and she didn't understand how he wasn't sweating. But then she imagined Daryl without a shirt on and she quickly looked away as she felt her entire face flush.
She had been thinking of him like that more and more. She wasn't able to forget the way her arms had felt around his waist as she rode behind him on the motorcycle or the way his scent filtered in her nose and swirled around her brain as if she was able to get drunk off of him. She imagined being with him in his trailer and waking up to that scent every morning and falling asleep with it in the air every night.
She felt silly and somewhat stupid for imagining things like that. There was no harm in imagining things like that with Daryl, she knew, but it did nothing for her sanity.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Daryl rip off a small part of the bologna from his sandwich and then he leaned forward, tossing it towards the cat. Beth felt herself smiling as she watched the cat eye the offering wearily and then flicked its eyes to the both of them, its tail swishing lazily behind it against the pavement. It sniffed at the meat, its ears flicking at every noise and then, with its eyes still on them, it gobbled the bologna up as quickly as it could before Daryl changed his mind and took it back.
Beth turned her head and looked to Daryl. He had finished his sandwich and leaned back against the wall, his arms cross over his chest, his eyes still on the cat. He didn't say anything so she didn't say anything either, never absolutely sure what she could or should say to him. She sometimes wondered if she was annoying her just by being out here with him. This used to be his space; his time by himself and then one day, she had felt brave enough to join him and he never told her to leave.
She finished her apple and set the core aside and then reached into the bag for her dessert. Two Oreo cookies. She took one and held it out to Daryl in a silent offering. Daryl looked at it and then at her and she gave him a small smile, still holding it out.
"Thanks," he said in his grunt and took the cookie, taking a bite.
"You don't pull it apart?" She asked. He just shrugged and she looked to her own cookie. She carefully twisted it apart and popped the cookie without the cream into her mouth first. "I always save the cream for last. The cream's the best part."
He snorted softly at that and after a split second, she realized what she had just said. Her face instantly exploded into a blush and she quickly looked away, eating the other half of the cookie though she didn't remember chewing or swallowing. Her heart thumped in her chest and the air suddenly felt a million degrees hotter around her. When she heard the bell on her desk in the office ding out, she nearly sighed with relief and hurried to her feet. She had never been more happy to hear that bell.
She slipped into her shoes and without looking at him, she took her lunch bag and hurried back into the garage, still feeling as if her skin was on fire. Why was she so hopeless when it came to men; to him?
She was happy for the distraction of a customer but when she saw who it was, she couldn't help but sigh again – this time for a different reason. She did her best to smile though she knew, deep down, that this wasn't just a friendly drop-in.
"Hi, Maggie," Beth said, entering the office.
Maggie smiled, too, when she saw her. "Hey. You eat lunch?" She asked.
And if anyone had asked that, it would be just a casual conversation starter but coming from Maggie, it made Beth bristle slightly. She nodded. "Just finished," she said and did her best to keep smiling. Just keep smiling. This was what Maggie did and Beth told herself that it was because Maggie loved her.
"Well, I had gone out to lunch with a couple of ladies from the office and I had leftovers. Thought I'd bring them to you so you could munch on them," Maggie said and pulled out a Styrofoam container from her bag, setting it down on the desk.
Beth tried not to exhale a heavy sigh. "Maggie, I just ate and I'm not going to eat another full meal between lunch and dinner tonight. Most people don't do that."
Maggie frowned at her. "You're not most people, Beth."
This time, Beth did sigh. As if she needed anymore reminders of that – especially from Maggie. To her older sister, it didn't matter if Beth was to gain another hundred pounds. This was all Beth was going to be and it would never matter what she did or how healthy she became. Maggie probably wouldn't be satisfied until Beth ate herself to death.
Without a word, Beth went to her desk and opened the top drawer, pulling out a small journal with a blue leather cover. "I haven't written down what I had for lunch just now but you can still see the past few days," she held out the food journal to her but Maggie didn't take it. "Go on. Since you think I'm not eating enough-"
"I never said you weren't eating enough," Maggie said and Beth almost laughed because that was exactly what she was saying without coming right out with it.
"Beth?"
Both sisters whipped their heads around and Beth felt her eyes widen slightly with surprise when she saw Daryl standing in the doorway of Dale's office.
"Was wonderin' if you could help me," he said and jerked his thumb over his shoulder towards the office behind him. "That guy is comin' at one and I can't find his invoice from the last time he was here to see what I did."
If Beth could have kissed him right then and there, she would have. All of the past invoices were filed and stored in the tall file cabinet by her desk but Maggie didn't know that and Daryl had just presented her with the perfect out.
She nodded and gave him a smile and hoped he was able to see the gratitude but she knew that he probably could. Daryl was able to see everything.
"Of course," she said to him and then looked back to Maggie. "I have to get back to work," she told her.
Maggie looked at her for a long moment and then finally nodded her head. "I'll see you at home tonight. Maybe one of the other guys will want that," she gestured towards the leftover container on the desk and then without a word, she turned and left and a minute later, they saw her car drive away.
Beth instantly deflated, expelling a great breath and nearly collapsing down in her chair. She jabbed her elbows on the desk and rested her head in her hands, trying to calm her heart down and get her breathing regulated. She heard Daryl move and when she lifted her head again, she saw him sitting down in one of the chairs against the wall.
"Thank you for that," she said and he gave his head a single nod, his eyes set on her.
"She always like that?" He asked.
Beth sighed softly and nodded, looking down to her journal on the desk. "Always. And… and I understand why. My daddy and brother can be like that, too, but they trust me for the most part. Maggie… I don't think she'll ever trust me again. She was the one… I used to hide food under my bed. Plates and bowls of food and I was telling everyone that I was eating but Maggie was the one who found all of the food."
Daryl didn't say anything and she knew that he probably had no idea what to say to that and she didn't know why she had just told him that. She didn't tell anyone anything about what she had done or what it had been like for her and her family.
She wished she knew what to say to him after that but she had blown it by talking about her eating disorder and she may not have known much about guys but she knew that that wasn't one thing to talk with about to guys.
She shifted in her chair and avoided looking at him and she took a pen, opening her journal to that day's date and writing down everything she had eaten for lunch beneath what she had eaten for breakfast. And once she was done, she stood up and went to the file cabinet. She could feel his eyes on her but he still didn't say anything. It took her a moment but she then located the folder and pulled out the latest invoice, turning and extending it towards him.
"Here you go," she said softly and tried to give him a smile.
Daryl stood up and took the paper from her, glancing down to it. "This guy has the worst luck with cars," he said and it helped her smile a little easier.
They heard other cars pulling into the parking lot and then the shouts and laughter as the other guys started coming back from lunch. Beth couldn't help but feel disappointed. No matter how much time she spent with Daryl, she felt like it was never enough. She wondered how much time with him would satisfy her. She wondered if he ever though the same thing about her but she knew that wasn't a thought she shouldn't torture herself with by having.
Zach entered the office instead of going through the bay doors and he grinned at Beth. Beth smiled shyly in return. She liked Zach for the most part. He reminded her of so many boys she had known throughout her life. He was good-looking and outgoing and had dozens of friends and always needed to be right in the middle of it. He was always inviting her to this or to that but she always declined. She liked Zach but she didn't like him and she knew that spending time with him would be exhausting. He was one of those people who always had to be "on". She had grown to prefer a man who was just as quiet as her. A man who could spend an evening at home… reading books or hunting in the woods and she looked at Daryl from the corner of her eye, still standing next to her but having visibly stiffened.
"Hi, Beth," Zach smiled at her.
"Hi," she smiled faintly in return.
"Brought you something," he said and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out a half of a Twix candy bar.
"Thank you," she said, still smiling and she took it from him.
"You got plans tonight?" Zach asked, leaning a bit into the desk, his eyes never leaving her and his smile never leaving his face.
"I do actually, I'm sorry," she said, apologizing as she always did whenever he invited her out although she was never really sorry about it. Still, he didn't have to know that and there was no reason not to be polite to him. He was perfectly nice.
"There's always tomorrow," Zach grinned wider and then gave her a quick wink before turning and heading into the garage.
Beth looked down at the Twix bar in her hand.
"Thought you didn' like caramel," Daryl grunted from beside her.
"I don't," she shook her head, tilting it up and looking at him. "But there's no reason why Zach would know that. Would you like it?" She asked, offering it out to him.
"Wasn' meant for me," Daryl shook his head.
He walked away from her then and she set the candy bar down on top of the Styrofoam container. She didn't even know what Maggie had brought her but whatever it was, she would offer it to Dale when he got back from the lunch hour. She sat down in her chair again and was slightly startled when Daryl suddenly appeared in front of the desk.
"Wanna go for a ride after work?" He asked, staring down at her.
She loved his eyes. They were blue but not like hers. His were light, almost milky, and they were always so sharp. Nothing ever escaped his attention. She wondered if he knew of her feelings towards him. She tried to hide them but she knew she wasn't the best at keeping them to herself. She feared she was always so obvious around him but if he had figured it out, why wasn't he running away? Why was he inviting her for rides on his motorcycles and spending more time together? She couldn't imagine a man like Daryl being interested in her in return. He was older and wouldn't he go for women closer to his own age and with half of the issues she had?
"Yes," she didn't even hesitate.
She didn't think about her family or dinner or making Maggie happy and keeping the peace. She just thought of being on the back of Daryl's bike, her arms around his waist and her cheek against his back and the wind on her skin.
He smiled then – just a little one but she caught it instantly and she broke out into one of her own. He gave a nod and this time, she watched him go into the garage. She counted to ten before she picked up the phone and dialed home.
"Hello?" Hershel answered on the third ring.
"Hi, daddy," Beth greeted, still smiling, and she knew he could probably hear it from over the phone.
"Bethy!" Hershel was smiling, too, and he sounded as if he hadn't heard from her in years. "Everything alright?"
"Everything's good," Beth said and her eyes floating to the windows to see the other guys in the garage, her gaze settling on Daryl. "So… Daryl asked me to go on another ride with him on his motorcycle tonight after work."
"Oh?" Hershel asked, trying to sound nonchalant, and Beth wanted to laugh.
He was the only one to know about Daryl, she having confided in him about the man one night when Beth was in the barn after another argument with Maggie. She was brushing down Nellie – sometimes, her horse being the only thing able to comfort her – and she saw her daddy enter on his crutches. It still sometimes caught her off guard, seeing him with only one leg and she wondered if she would ever get used to it. Hershel settled himself on a bale of hay and Beth kept brushing and didn't say anything, knowing that Hershel came out there to be the one to speak.
"She loves you, Bethy," Hershel said.
Beth nodded and swallowed the thickness in her throat. "I know."
"She's just scared for you."
Again, she nodded. "I know." She stilled the brush for a moment and then sighed softly, looking at him. "I just wish Maggie could treat me like how you or Shawn or Daryl treat me. Like I'm Beth."
Hershel studied her for a moment and then raised an eyebrow. "Who's Daryl?"
Beth instantly broke into a blush and quickly lowered her eyes to the ground. She almost denied it. She almost shook her head and insist that Daryl wasn't anyone even though Hershel would know she was lying.
She fiddled with the brush in her hands. "He… he's a mechanic at the garage and he…" He's wonderful, she bit down on her tongue and she slowly lifted her eyes to look at her daddy, Hershel looking at her, looking as if he wanted to smile. "He treats me like I'm not seconds away from breaking."
Hershel smiled then as Beth could hear him smiling now from over the phone.
"Make sure you eat dinner," Hershel said but unlike if Maggie had said the same thing, Beth just nodded and smiled a little because he got it. He knew that this was important to her.
Daryl and going on these rides and being away from the house, it was good for her. And Beth wondered if Maggie would ever get that, too, if Beth was ever to tell her about it. Was this even something that had to be told? She wasn't even entirely sure what they were doing or why Daryl was inviting her but all she did know, she thought as she kept watching him through the windows, that she really only felt like smiling when she was around him and she wondered if he was able to see that.
…
Thank you so much for reading and please review!
