Liara slid lithely into the booth, pushing Shepherd's boots off the seat with her thigh. "Commander Shepherd, Hero of the Citadel, I presume." Liara smiled and there was a hint of gentle laughter in her words. Her hand accidently bumped an empty shot glass as she tried to get comfortable; it tipped over and rolled before it was stopped by another cup.

"Not your Commander," Shepherd mumbled, her voice a little slurred. She had flinched when Liara sat down, but she hadn't been able to take her eyes off the Asari. The obvious intoxication caused Liara to frown slightly, looking down to take stock of just how much Shepherd had drank. Obviously, she had finished off enough liquor to kill a lesser woman, but she was still talking and capable of recognizing the Asari, so Liara tried not to feel guilty about pushing the conversation at a time when Shepherd wasn't one hundred percent.

Liara slid further into the booth, rounding the corner so she could sit with her thigh against Shepherd's. "Morgan," Liara murmured. It was the first time anyone had used Shepherd's first name to her since she had woken up on a slab in the Cerberus Lazarus Lab. It sent a shiver up the Commander's spine. "As soon as your mission is done, and my little mess is cleaned up, you can be my Commander forever."

Her presence was causing Shepherd's befuddled brain to lose its last vestige of coherence. The heat of Liara's body near hers, the curve of her lips, the softness in her eyes. Shepherd realized, in a physical way like a fist in the gut that took the air out of her lungs, that she would never be done loving Liara. The Asari was a permanent fixture of her psyche now, but that didn't mean that everything could work out, or would work out. Shepherd dropped her head into her hands, refusing to look at Liara as she spoke in a ragged voice, "There will always be another mission. You know that. I'm a soldier."

The silence drew out between them. Without any warning, Liara slid across Shepherd, straddling her hips with her knees on either side so that they were face to face, their hips cradled against each other. The table dug into Liara's back, forcing her to press her front flush against Shepherd. The maneuver was so far out of character that Shepherd was too disoriented to immediately react. She blinked and then shook her head, trying to clear her brain. Liara was in her lap, her breasts pressing against her, breath on her neck – there was simply no way to force herself to focus better.

"You don't have to be a soldier forever." Liara trailed her finger down Shepherd's jaw line. "We could settle down. I could go back to science…" She let her sentence trail off, realizing for the first time that she couldn't picture Commander Shepherd in another setting.

Her words connected with what was left of Shepherd's brain, snapping her back to the conversation they were having rather than the feelings that her body was developing low in her belly. "No, we can't. Can't you see, Liara? You can't even figure out what I would do. My hands are too bloody to be a farmer. I've killed too many people and too many people have died because of my choices to just walk away." Shepherd reached up, capturing Liara's hand and moving it away from her face. "You were right on Illium."

A wrinkle formed between Liara's eyebrows. She looked deep into Shepherd's eyes, falling into them almost. It had always been like that for her, Commander Shepherd was like a magnet whose power to draw her was stronger then she had ever experienced with anyone else. "I was wrong on Illium. Letting you walk away was wrong. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I've come to fix it." She leaned in to punctuate her sentence with a kiss, but Shepherd dropped her chin, ducking away from Liara's lips.

"You were right when you said that our lives aren't going to let us be together." Shepherd released Liara's hand. "I'm going to be a soldier because I can't be anything or anyone else. It's who I've always been. Without it, I wouldn't recognize myself and you wouldn't recognize me. I wouldn't be the woman you fell in love with." Shepherd lifted her eyes to catch Liara's gaze, which was rapidly filling with tears, "I wouldn't be the woman you love."

To take the sting out of her words, to comfort the beautiful woman she had deeply hurt, she reached out and wrapped her arms around Liara pulling her in to her shoulder. With a soft, sad sigh, Liara settled her face against Shepherd's neck. She cried so softly that the Commander wouldn't have realized it was happening if she couldn't feel the moisture dripping against her skin. Another sin collected for which she could never atone.

"In another lifetime, Liara, I would be yours forever. And you could be a scientist and I could be a…" Shepherd ran her fingers lightly up Liara's spine, trying to calm her. "I could be your trust assistant and bodyguard." She just couldn't imagine a job that didn't involve a gun. Liara didn't reply, eventually her tears dried up though and she pulled herself back together – one piece at a time. When she felt strong enough, she pulled away from Shepherd's embrace, awkwardly crawling out of the booth to stand in front of it.

"I love you, Morgan. I'll be on Illium if you need me." The business-like tone of voice she had managed to adopt startled even her. Liara was changing before her own eyes, and the person she would become after this might be unrecognizable to everyone. And then she was gone, and Shepherd was alone again. Alone this time with a hurt that she thought she had healed and that alcohol could do nothing to assuage.

***

After a great deal of good-natured prodding, Kelly had finally talked Jack and Miranda into going somewhere where they had dancers so that when she spaced off during their interminable bravado-fests she could have something to look at. The bar was not very full when they entered. The trio made their way toward the back because Jack insisted on always being able to put her back to a firm wall. From their angle of approach, the back booth seemed empty but upon closer inspection Kelly drew up short, grabbing Jack and Miranda to halt their progress as well.

There was Commander Shepherd and in her lap, looking extremely friendly, was a beautiful Asari woman and she didn't look like a cheap dancer. Kelly couldn't see her face but her close weren't mining platform whore standard. Her outfit was expensive and that meant only one thing – Liara T'Soni. This was a nightmare.

Before she could stop them or say anything, Jack leaned over and nudged Miranda in the ribs. "Looks like someone is getting lucky tonight," she said with a chuckle. Obvious neither woman was observant enough to note that the Asari was a cut above for a place like this, and apparently she couldn't recognize Commander Shepherd in this light.

Time to salvage things. Kelly laced her arms through Jack and Miranda's and threw her weight into it, trying to turn them around. Jack responded poorly to the attempt to be steered. She opened her mouth to shout and it looked as if she was going to crack Kelly's face in like an egg. The noise would definitely draw Shepherd's attention. Kelly was a counselor, not a soldier or a tactician, her options at this juncture were limited.

Best to do what comes naturally, she mentally decided lunging toward Jack's face, catching it between her hands and planting a deep, slow kiss on her lips. Surprisingly, the bad-tempered biotic didn't struggle. The shocking lip-lock was more than enough to draw Miranda's startled attention, as well. Whoever was getting lucky in the booth was forgotten.

Jack leaned into the kiss, wrapping her arms around the other woman's waist, forcing her to lean back. Kelly had done it to protect the Commander, but she found the aggressive play of Jack's teeth and tongue startlingly arousing. It took all her effort not to swoon. And then it was over, as if Jack had come to her senses, she abruptly released the Yeoman, breaking their kiss and nearly sending her to the floor.

"What the fuck?" Jack growled, narrowing her eyes at the blushing Counselor before glancing up to notice Miranda's wide-eyed shock. Embarrassment and then anger began to play across Jack's face and then she did what she did best when feelings got complicated, she ran out of the bar, chased by a flustered Yeoman and an amused Cerberus Agent. The entire scene happened so fast that neither Shepherd nor Liara noticed it, and the Normandy crew was clear by the time Liara left.