Wolf-Woman
Chapter
9
Rain
Kags P.O.V.
It rains. It has rained so many days that our moat is filling up and the ground around our houses is turned to mud. Every day the children take the canoes across to the other side, and gather up huge piles of grass to bring over to our goats, kept safe within the animal shelter. It is too stormy now to let them graze by the forest edge, with goatherds out there all day to guard them. Even the horses are restless, in their high enclosure beside the wheat field. But there is exhilaration in the rain: yesterday the clan put out pots to catch the pure water, and played and danced naked in the downpour to wash themselves. I saw the youths wrestling one another for sport, and Inuyasha was among them. He was slender and strong, and shining in the rain. I did not go out.
Sesshomaru is in great pain. He has a fever, and his leg above his foot is turning black. Takeda comes and goes all day with his potions and his worried looks and in the evenings Taki stands beside the chieftain's bed and chants prayers. At night Kagura slides beneath Sesshomaru's sleeping-furs with him, but he bellows at her if she disturbs his foot. By morning she is always in her own bed, and we are all weary from disturbed rest.
Takeda is with Sesshomaru now, deciding with the priest what is to be done about the chieftain's injured foot. There is talk among the clan that they will cut the foot off, but I know that Sesshomaru would rather die than be forever crippled. The clan blames me for his catastrophe, and no one speaks to me. So I sit there in the rain by my canoe, on the moat side of the spiked fence so no one can see me. I am tempted to paddle across and visit the wolves. But they will be in their den, and I do not know where it is. Warm it would be, with them.
There is a movement beside me. It is Inuyasha, with rain like tears upon his face, and his gold hair streaming wet on the dark fur of his cloak. He wears a short tunic, brown as hazelnuts, and his legs and feet are bare. He crouches in the mud with me, places his spear across two stones, and folds his hands in front of him. His hands are strong, and beautiful. He is all beautiful.
He smiles, and I fly to pieces inside.
"I have it in my mind to go hunting," he says.
"What will you hunt?" I ask.
"Hares, maybe a fox." He hesitates, then says: "I will not hunt for wolves again."
I blush, knowing that he knows I burned the pelt.
"I am not angry, Wolf-Woman," he says, and on his lips the name is not a mockery. "I was at first, because I went to trouble to get that pelt for you. Then I thought how I would feel if someone gave me a gift of my brother's skin. I think I, too, would make a funeral pyre."
"Neither was I angry," I said. "I loved the pelt, and honour you for giving it to me."
"Why did you burn it, then?"
"Because I have living wolves to comfort me."
"Do you need comforting, Kagome?"
I look at him; his eyes are very grave. He is frowning a little, as if he cares what my answer is.
"Perhaps comfort is not the word," I say. "It is company. Acceptance. Kinship."
"And you have that with savage beasts?"
"Not with savage beasts," I say. "With the wolves."
"It is the same thing, Kagome."
"I think not, from my acquaintance with them."
"You are a strange woman."
"I am of an enemy clan. What else do you expect?"
"I do not know what I expect with you, Kagome. That is what beguiles me. Now, will you give me a blessing for the hunt, so I will be successful?"
"Taki gives the blessings. According to him, I can only bring a curse."
"According to me, anyone who runs with wolves has courage and a hunter's heart. So I ask your blessing."
"I bless your hunting, then," I say. He smiles; his teeth are even and perfect, and when his lips are serious again, his eyes still smile. The rain is running into the hollows of his throat. He picks up his spear, then stands and hauls a canoe down to the moat. The rain hisses on the water, and as he paddles across he is enveloped in mist.
Later, as I enter Sesshomaru's house, I pass Takeda and Taki on their way out. The healer gives me a look so filled with hatred that I shrink from him. I dare not look at the priest.
When they are gone Kagura says: "They are coming back in a while, to cut off my lord's foot. See now what your evil has brought to us."
I look at Sesshomaru. He lays still, deathly white. An empty potion-cup is near his bed.
"It is your fault, not mine," I say to Kagura, "because you lied to him when he went out to look for me."
She comes over to me and strikes me hard across the face. I do not hit her back because she is Sesshomaru's wife, and his sons are watching. I go outside again, the taste of blood salty in my mouth; and I hurt in my heart more than in my head where I was struck.
I sit in the mud on the moat's edge, rocking back and forth in my despair. The rain beats down and the skies thunder. I hear Sesshomaru screaming, and cover my ears with my hands.
After a long time there is silence. The rain has stopped, and I look up to see that it is almost dark. Across the swollen waters of the moat, just on the forest's edge, Koga sits in the last daylight, keeping vigil over me.
I go back to Sesshomaru's house, feeling weary and weighted down with pain. As I push aside the skins in the doorway I look back. Koga is gone. It is Inuyasha who watches me as he paddles toward me over the moat, a young deer across the bow of his canoe.
