#9: A Broken Record and the Moon
November night. Five years ago.
"I won again, Mom! So let's go eat with Dad and Saika at a restaurant!"
A boy no older than ten was happily walking down the icy sidewalk with his mother beside him.
"Alright then, but first we'll have to wait for the bus, okay Sei-chan?" His mother told him to behave and so he grasped his mother's hand tightly and patiently waited.
His eyes wandered around the snowy surroundings where he eventually spotted a black cat with bright blue eyes walking nearby.
"Oh! A cat!" Instantly and without hesitation, he let go of his mother's and chased after the cat which was running across the road.
However, what he suddenly saw were bright blinding lights in front of him. What had happened was too fast for him to process on the spot.
"Seiichi!"
He could hear is mother's voice from afar and immediately she was right beside him. He wanted to embrace her yet, she pushed him away.
And there was a loud crashing sound.
It's over. It's all over.
"Shiihata Seiichi!"
Arima called out to me, but I can't look at her. I'm not even worthy to be beside her. Even if she and I were once in the same situation…fate was not as cruel with her. Indeed, the two of us are living in separate worlds…
She cannot reach me. I cannot reach her.
I am incapable of change. I thought that being by her side could change me. I thought that maybe her brightness could affect in some way or another. But right now…now that I know the truth, I can't face Arima with an innocent face anymore.
You murdered your mother, Shiihata Seiichi.
Yes. That's right. I killed her. It's my fault.
"Seiichi! What the hell is wrong with you?! You've been at it for days!"
I could hear Saika shouting at me but I can't look at her in the eye. Because of me, she grew up without a mother…because of me, both of us have suffered too much.
It's been almost five days since the recital yet my depression refuses to subside, Arima has been visiting me almost everyday but never did I let her see me—no, not at this state or not until I can forgive myself, which would never actually happen.
Now, Saika is very much pissed off at me right now at how brooding and negative I've become.
"Seiichi, you dumbass! Tell me what happened at that recital or else I'll—!"
She seized the collar of my shirt and dragged me up from the floor of my room but I simply slumped my body down.
"Say, Saika…what happened to Mom?" I asked her suddenly and the ferocious look on her face disappeared and was replaced by an anxious expression.
"H-huh? Didn't I tell you over and over again that she died in a car acci—"
"Please tell me the truth…Saika,"
She pushed me forward and I fell towards the bed. I sat up and looked at her with eyes desperate for the truth.
"Mom…she…she was hit…by a car when she tried to protect you…" Saika murmured words that were almost inaudible to my ears but it still hurt as much. "Please…Seiichi! It's not your fault…! It was snowing that night, and the car just lost its brakes and…!"
"Then whose fault is it? The car wouldn't have hit Mom if I didn't ran and chased after that cat, right? Mom should still be alive if I just kept still!"
My eyes were beginning to swell with tears and I covered them immediately with my hands.
"Seiichi! Just believe me!"
"Believe you? Should I believe you after you lied to me all of these years?!"
"It was for your own good!" Saika shouted back at me and then suddenly calmed herself down. "I just can't help it Seiichi….I don't want you to get hurt so…please—!"
"HEY YOU FUCKING BRATS!"
A booming voice came from downstairs with several banging of the front door and a familiar anxiety and fear crept to our spine in a split second.
"Damn…he's here…why now of all times…?" Saika cursed under her breath as my crumpled my fist.
"OPEN UP THE DOOR OR I'LL HAVE YOU OUT ON THE STREETS!"
The banging continued and Saika, without any other choice, climb down the stairs slowly.
That man—Date Fujiro, is our uncle; the husband of Mom's sickly sister and the one who was bugging us for years, ever since that irresponsible good-for-nothing father disappeared after mom died. Supposedly, we should be living with them, however, with the efforts of our aunt, we got to stay in our original home. I mean, we were really fortunate…if we did stay with them, Saika and I would be beaten up relentlessly. Though, funny thing is, we still get beaten up.
However, over these years, he has been terrorizing us by asking more and more money and Saika has taken the full brunt of it. I know very well, even though how much she hides the fact that she's working instead of going to school and I always confirm my innocence with aloofness and ignorance like it's not my problem.
Now I pay the price.
I could hear the front door swung open violently with our uncle shouting in a loud voice, which could be heard from my room.
"Where is the money? Saika…WHERE IS THE FUCKING MONEY?!" He yelled at Saika irately but having experienced this over and over again through the years, her nerves have become as strong as steel wires.
"My pay is on the day after tomorrow, can we ask for a bit more time…? I don't have money right now…" Saika, who usually the dominant one, pleaded in a soft voice, but I can sense that she was simply forcing herself to do this for our sake.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Our uncle slammed his fist on the wall in a loud thud and cornered Saika. "If you can't pay right now…you might as well pay…with your body,"
FUCK. SAIKA…!
Upon hearing it, I instinctively rushed to my sister's side with overwhelming anger and punched him on the face, making him back away for a few meters.
After regaining his balance, our uncle shot piercing glares towards me as I proceeded with shielding Saika behind me.
"Ah, it's the other brat. What me to beat you up again, HUUUH?!" Uncle said but I held myself up.
"Don't lay a single fucking finger on my sister, do you hear me?!" I glared at him in return but he simply laughed at me.
"You think you can win against me?! I could have you two thrown out on the streets right this second," He smirked but my ferocious look intensified.
"Do whatever you fucking want, but like hell are we going to leave this house! We will protect this place!" I declared yet he laughed like he never heard anything more amusing than what I just said.
"Yeah, yeah, spare me the story…Mom died, Dad leaves with another woman, children left with a half a million yen debt. Sad story, really," the guy shrugged, trying to imitate sympathy as he walked towards the two of us. I backed away several steps but never did I averted my gaze away from him. "But you know what? I heard your bitch of a mother died because of you,"
My eyes dilated as he whispered those words to my ears and the scene from that snowy November evening flashed before my eyes as the swollen up frustration welled up from inside.
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"
Shouting, I landed yet another punch to his face but Uncle was still smirking as he rubbed his cheek.
"So, it's true then? You killed your own mother," He rephrased what he said earlier and with that I hurled another shot towards him with all my might however, a strong kick pushed my back against the door.
"SEIICHI!" I could hear Saika yelling from afar and then continued talking, now with hatred and fear in her voice. "Get away from my brother, you bastard!"
She kicked and exchanged blows with the guy like she had waited for this moment to happen for all of these years. However over time, I could notice that her legs and arms were already shaking with fatigue. And with a final blow, the asshole charged at Saika and we were both thrown out of the door and to the streets.
Like a trained fighter, Saika exhaustingly regained her composure and prepared herself for more blows from our uncle as she protected me.
"Saika…please stop this. I can't…bear…" I whispered to her in a weak voice but she looked at me with eyes determined to protect me from harm, just like how Arima looked at me when the recital began—with so much trust, with so much hope...And I betrayed her just like that.
"Seiichi, you're such a dumbass. This is what I want—to protect you always just like Mom did. The only thing you have to do is to continue living and play your heart out," Saika replied to me with a bright smile I've never seen for such a long time.
But.
That blissful moment, that tiny wedge in time disappeared right before me.
Saika was too slow to respond, our uncle was already before us with a gun on his hands, much to our shock and there was nothing I could do—
OH FUCK ABOUT LIVING. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
I lunged forward and covered Saika but what came next was out of my knowledge.
Images of what happened these last few weeks flashed before my eyes—it was like a life different from what I thought was mine. Playing the piano with full happiness, a loving sister, a teacher who though a slave-driver, taught me a lot of things and a damn stubborn girl who I could share my world with. And only her words during that recital repeated inside my subconscious mind.
"Seiichi-kun, look at me. Look into my eyes and never forget. I am right beside you, you are not alone. Don't be afraid because we are invincible. Hold on to me and never let go,"
I could see the night sky in front of me. The stars were twinkling as they scatter across the cosmos it was the most beautiful sight I ever seen. The moon was shining brightly and I smiled as I was reminded by how warm my life actually was.
Arima…Kizuna...can I hold you again?
Behind The Lines
Arima Kizuna
"How did it go today?"
I heard my father walk inside the kitchen after he arrived from a small reunion with Aiza-san and Emi-san and until now, I still haven't spoken a word to him. Of course, I still feel bad.
I've been seeing Seiichi-kun every day since that recital and every single time, I was rejected. Each visit gradually made my motivation weaker and weaker, but I cannot give up…this is my responsibility. Seiichi-kun shouldn't have experienced this if it wasn't for me; I cannot toss him up in the air and let him fall on the cold concrete.
I wonder how he is today…
Sighing, I stood up from my seat and walked towards the stairs to my room. However, a knock on the door stopped me dead on my tracks. I paused for a while but the knocking continued incisively to the extent that I have to dash to answer it.
I opened it immediately, however, what greeted me widened my eyes on the spot.
It was a panting Saika with a face drenched in tears and sweat and in her arms was Seiichi—his left arm was covered with a large amount of blood yet he remained unconscious all the time.
"Kizuna-san, help us…" Saika pleaded on the front porch of our house and I cannot help but panic at the sight.
"SEIICHI!" I reflexively shouted and rushed to their side; my eyes were already burning as tears flowed to my cheeks. I pursed my lips and hurriedly called for Dad.
Seiichi…please don't you dare leave me again…!
A/N: After such a long time, I updated..and I apologize. I've been adjusting to college life and finally finished this helluva depressing chapter xD
Well, the next chap is on the way~
PLEASE REVIEW~! THANKS! :3
