There is a reason why this chapter is called 'Ache'. This is a pretty heavy. I try not to layer everything up but that's how it turned out in this one. So fair warning.
And nobody answered the trivia last time so the answer was:All the breeds were originally herding breeds (including the Rottweiler, it was originally a drover or cattle dog).
In other news: Murf!!! Who is Murf! Show yourself! I must know how to find you!!!! And thanks to Ms. Amy (Yasei Raiden) for the many little ideas and awesome art.
Summary: It was the first sleepless night that Spock spent in the arena with Cody and Jim in the company of horses; riding bareback and bitless, three abreast, until every muscle ached and breathing had become a labor.
Lost Horse Creek, Montana
"When you are lonely, let me be your companion. When you are tired, let me carry the load. When you need to learn, let me teach you… after all, I am your horse."
-Unknown
Chapter Nine: Ache
"It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully share the hell of someone close to you."
- Lady Bird Johson
Native Sky Ranch
124 Flathead Road,
Lost Horse Creek, Bitterroot Mountain Range, Rocky Mountains, Ravalli County, Montana
Stardate: 2260
October 20
2013 Hours
…
Spock refrained from speaking.
His eyes moving from Cody to Jim and back again. He kept his silence when Cody scrubbed her knuckles under her eyes, made a small choked noise and let out a breath as she rose and pulled open the door and let the pack of dogs into the kitchen and slipped out. Spock thought for a moment that she was possibly seeking a place of solitude, hiding herself away in her grief the way an elder sibling did for younger ones, sparing the siblings they felt responsible for the unease and stress of watching the elder crumble.
But it occurred to Spock that she was more likely going to pass out the evening feed and medications for the horses. Spock moved to get to his feet and froze when a large calloused hand caught his wrist and tugged him, non to gently, back down into his chair.
"Let her do it herself." Jim rasped quietly and quickly let go of Spock's forearm, but not before a bitter and powerful flood of pure despair flickered across the bracelet scar on his wrist. The wash strong enough to make Spock briefly ill, his stomach rolling and he suppressed a small noise of discomfort and slumped down into his chair to take deep breaths and settle his stomach.
"If she'd wanted help she would have asked." Jim said quietly and folded his arms on the table before hiding his face in them, only a nest of wheat gold hair exposed to the air. The tense quiet around them broken by the dogs scuffling for the water bowl before Wagi led the visiting dogs deeper into the house, Situpsa panting and rushing on their heels to follow on his much shorter legs. Canteska opted to shove passed Spock's knees and curl up under the table.
Nemo A534 stood tense in the middle of the room, his ears perked and hackles slightly raised as the one eyed Shepherd looked between Spock then Jim. The dog whined and quickly walked around to Jim's side. He pawed at the blonde's knee and when Jim didn't move, whined softly and shoved his face into the blonde's lap and sat pressed into Jim's leg and knee. The dog hummed out soft whines in the new quiet, sounding more and more sorrowful with each breath and moment that Jim didn't react or respond.
"You are greatly effected by this loss." Spock said slowly when his stomach had settled. Jim shivered and a muffled noise sounded like a affirmation. Another moment passed before Jim sat up and took a ragged breath and seemed to settle himself with a soft exhale but he continued to remain silent.
Spock hesitated, weighing the silence between them before speaking softly but clearly, as if unsure about being over heard in their isolation as the night fell on the mountain.
"To my people, to the Vuhlkansu..." Spock searched Jim's face, trying to catch his eye and see his mood clearly. Trying to read the silver ratioed against the blue but Jim's eyes stayed fixed on the table top or possibly his lap and the top of Nemo A534's head.
But Spock read as his shoulder's tensed, the muscles tightening and bony blades hunching together. The wire between them going so taught and tight that Spock could sense it fraying and humming under the tension. Jim wanted to bolt.
Spock was beginning to grow weary of this kind of tension.
How was it that in his place on the bridge of the Enterprise Jim would not turn from a confrontation of any kind, that he would plow headlong forward, recklessly so, almost flailing in his desperation to get to the point of altercation.
But here, on the ranch, Jim seemed in a perpetual state of near flight, ever ready to bolt. Spock had come to read the tightening of muscle, steel coiling in springs under tanned skin and to pin point the moment that Jim's breath started to shorten. The signs came so often enough and suddenly enough that Spock was consequently and usually surprised by them and found himself floundering, at least in the only minuet way that a Vulcan could flounder, to correct or nullify what had caused them. Typically without full understanding of what it was that had caused the symptoms of bolting in the young blonde to begin with. It was tiring, treading lightfooted for fear of spooking Jim, coaxing him back with softly spoken words that at times threatened to spiral well away from logic and reasoning; more than once worsening the effect than abaiting it and learning that at times only silence was acceptable. Spock found it a hinderance, an obstacle in communication and functionality, whatever the reasoning behind Jim's barely restrained urge to run Spock hoped that sooner than later the blonde would ground himself and settle steadily down into the earth.
Or actually run.
A fraction of himself that Spock refused to accept hoped for the latter. Hoped that Jim would burst into flight and in a dead gallop burn the need out of him. There was even a distasteful urge to spook the blonde into bolting. It was a primitive notion and weight bitterly against Spock's innate logic.
But it was fact. Reality.
Just as real as the fact that should Jim take flight, by whatever catalyst, Spock would not hesitate to give his last breath in pursuit.
Emboldened by the lingering nausea from Jim's grief the hybrid reached out and lighted his hand on Jim's forearm as the blonde had on Cody's, feeling only the simmer of ache through Jim's sleeve. If the emotions were strong enough to burn through the many layers of fabric at this volume it was disturbing how strong they truly were.
Jim tensed and the muscle jumped in instinctive action to pull away but in the last moment Jim sopped himself and went still under Spock's hand.
"To the Vuhlkansu... pak t' yontaya-kan... wa' sa-fu... kup of'kat veh olozhika. Veh dungi la'tusa na' hafayat t' veh ha'kiv. Ruhm fna' Kolinhar veh dungi tusa... wa' ko-mekh..."
Jim listened intently, Spock could almost see the blonde's ear flicked towards him, listening to the low, rolling whisper of the hybrid's native tongue. Forearm still tense under Spock's palm.
Jim's breath rattled in his chest. "That was Vulcan."
"Yes. There is no way to express the depth of sorrow at the death of a child in Standard. It is pak weht do veh shal... loss greater than one's self. There is nothing mourned more deeply."
Jim swallowed heavily.
"You behave as one who has lost their own son."
Jim's forearm relaxed as his hand went slack, fingers uncurling and exposing a palm slicked with sweat and marked temporarily white by the bite of his own nails. His breath came out in a wheeze.
"I was there when Colt was born. I was his Godfather."
Spock hesitated but spoke carefully. "You witnessed his death."
Jim shivered violently. "And Misha... Bones and Cody and I... we were there..."
"Doctor McCoy was present?"
"He tried..." Jim choked suddenly and shut his eyes tightly, shivering once and shook his head before seeming to come up for air, breathing raggedly and rapidly. Spock's grip on Jim's forearm tightened to borderline painful but he did not draw back.
"It was a medical ailment."
Jim nodded jerkily before turning his hand over until the back of it and his knuckles were pressed into the scarred wood. Offering his open palm to Spock. The hybrid felt every muscle in his body tense.
"Look for yourself... " Jim said dully.
Spock nearly pulled his hand back from Jim's forearm, the hybrid stilling himself to restore some kind of internal calm as for a brief moment his world tilted and the axis lost before order was laid back into place with steel and sheer force of will. Any form of saliva had dried suddenly in his mouth and left it feeling thick and cottony as he collected himself.
"Jim... a mind meld is an intimate and... revealing event. In such a state that you are I believe that the effects of such an action, especially as the first attempt between yourself and I, could be cataclysmic."
"You want to know what happened."
"It is not-"
"I can tell." The deadpan of Jim's voice stilled any argument in Spock's throat. The blondes eyes stayed averted and decidedly dulled. "Can't you just skim it off the top or something? Not a real whammy but you get what you want to know."
Spock hesitated, knowing it was not a time to call out Jim's preference of metaphors. "If the parties involved were equally gifted with telepathic ability, and each profoundly well trained, it would be possible. Though humans as a majority are typically a psi-null species. It would have to be a decidedly powerful memory or emotion."
"It's powerful." Jim assured deadly.
How could it not be.
The words lingered unsaid between them. To the blonde, the loss four years passed and still painful enough to cause such a raw reaction, had been that of a brother, Misha and Colt, a child that held the dual place of nephew and godson. Neither had borne the blood that ran in Jim's veins. The concept of chosen family was still somewhat strange to Spock but as time and experience passed between himself and the ranch, Jim and Cody, the idea of sharing a bloodline was becoming more and more abstract and obsolete.
Spock pried his grip from Jim's forearm, almost assured that the skin under his sleeve was possibly darkened by burst blood vessels or at least indented with his grip. Spock pulled his hand back. He worked the stiffness out of his knuckles and fingers before pushing Jim's sleeve up and wrapped his hand tightly around the blonde's wrist, laying his own into Jim's palm. The young human's fingers instantly locked around the joint tightly enough to bite into his flesh and pull at the discolored scar tissue ringed around the base of his radiocarpal.
Spock grit his teeth against the acidic burn of loss and pain that flooded from cooler, human skin and clogged the veins and blood flow in his arm. The whisper and hum of Jim's mind, once quiet and collected, was ringing and roaring in a wail that most human minds were at normalcy. Spock had become used to the whispered and low chatter that drifted across his mentalscape when Jim's skin contacted his own, used to the quiet, foreign push of a horse or dog against himself when his fingers traced an ear or curve of a nostril, used to the pure silence that came from Cody's brief ruffles of his his hair and tapped the edge of his temple. This, the crush back into what a human mind sounded like normally, it was deafening.
Jim's blood pulsed hot under Spock's palm, sizzling with emotional suffering. Nausea rolled Spock's stomach and his chest tightened around his internal organs, squeezing down as if his skin was shrinking. A shiver racked his through him and the jerk of muscle under his fingers enough to alert the hybrid the experience had been a shared one.
Disjointed and hazy edged thoughts not his own, muffled voices and noises that sounded more like tangled language, images that never focused and jumped erratically and thrashed around wildly bubbled and spewed noxiously against his consciousness and Spock was certain that no completely psi-null creature could be so easily read outside of a true meld, even in this literal pit of sorrow.
Please... please be still the hybrid impressed, tightening his grip enough he heard the faint grind and creak of bones, it resulted in a fresh flare of physical pain and a little indigent anger, humming in a low growl warning Spock not to do it again.
The hybrid relaxed his grip some, immediately the growl quieted down into a whimper of raw ache in the symphony of grief. Spock felt bile starting to rise in his throat and tired to pull away, detach himself and reassess his approach, it took a bit of effort to pull his eyes open, vision blurred and hazy and shocked by the sudden bright lights around him.
He blinked a few times, his vision swimming and solidifying awkwardly and slightly concerned. The lights shouldn't have been so bright, this wasn't the dull yellow glow of Cody's kitchen.
The hybrid looked around, the world falling into hazy place, walls slicked white and flooring that was slippery and shone sickly in brilliant, industrial white lights. The walls occupied by mounted vidscreens and stationary posters that flashed and flickered jumbled messages about health and sanitation and emergency care, the lettering looked almost alien and the images all had haunted eyes. It took a moment to place the sterilized corridor.
HospitalHell
The world was fractured and barely knit together, the spectral shapes and twisted faces of strangersdemons in white coats and medical scrubs walked by with only the eerie, disjointed squeak of rubber soled shoes on the clean flooring. They moved in jerkyunnatural jumps forward instead of a steady walk.
It was not realreality. Not for Spock.
A memorynightmare.
How had he been pulled so deep into Jim's mind?
Spock looked around the memory, it felt solid and real, more like he was actually living through the experience. The young hybrid had never encountered a mind so vivid and stable, if this was the result of a touch of wrists and palms the idea of a true meld...
The memory echoed and the edges were frayed, the color had drained a little. Like a faded photograph paled an cracked in some places. Spock's steps echoed loudly in the white washed halls. Around him the phantoms of medical personnelmonsters and patients blurred, they were background noise, pointless in this world.
Sound came clearer from a specific place a head. Soft and mournful. Spock walked efficiently along the wall, following it around a corner as the sounds grew clearer. He started down the shorter hall and slipped through glass doors marked Intensive Care UnitSeventh Circle in several Federation languages. Beyond these sealed doors Spock followed the voices and his feet passed a check point for nurses, visitors and physicians around another corner and to a isolation unit. The plexiglass walls and doors were obscured by a textured pattern turning the windows opaque. Spock could see the shadows and objects through the clouded glass. He approached and like the restriction doors slid open easily.
The sound becoming clear and defined.
There were two bio-hospice bedsdeathbeds. The screens lit up with a patchwork of information and vitals. Machines and equipmentuseless cluttered the room, packed into all corners and clustered so close at the sides of the beds that there seemed little room to stand at them. There were a few small fixtures, vases of boldly colored flowers, cards and pictures tacked up on the wall, adding more color in the sepia toned world. Most of the pictures looked to be drawn by young children, images of animals and people. Spock couldn't help but compare the rough scribbles to the fine and detailed drawings Vulcan children would make. Spock looked around the room, he arched an eyebrow at the sight of two plush chairs along the glass wall. In one slumped the still form of Doctor Leonard McCoyBonesCaniwahu. The older man's head had fallen back over the back of the chair. His fingers and wrist were tangled in a chain of gold studded with beads of pale yellow stone and a large crucifixrosary and a long coil of wood beads carved to look like miniature skullsmala. His skin was sallow, waxy shadows under his eyes and his clothes rumpled and his breathing hitching and pained. Around his throat was the short bead collar and charm of a medicine wheel, a slim gold chain and Christian crucifix.
In a chair next to McCoy was the hunched figure of Jim. His appearance was similar to McCoy', his eyes dead and face marred by tear tracks. His arms were wrapped around his stomachwon't eat and every few minutes he gave a violent shiverdry heaves.
The bed next to them was empty and the other one was occupied by the wasted figure of the once handsome human Spock recognized from several photographs from the ranch home.
MishaBrotherWacignunihehaka. Cody's mate.
His skin was paled and sickly, once sleek hair lank and the phantom scent of sweat and illness was heavy in the room. The man's arms were lined with i.v.s and tracking electrodes hooking him to the machines and bio-controls around him.
It was pointless. The low, eerie tone was the sole noise in the room, the readouts on the screen all freshly flatlinedgone.
Spock turned his eyes to the last corner of the room, another uncomfortably plush chair occupied by the petite figure of CodySisterIyaelainila. Cradled in the petite rancher's arms and lap was the too thin figure of the five year old child that always accompanied Misha in the photographs.
ColtColtcoltcoltcolt.
The boy resembled his father even in illness. His skin paled and discolored, hair drenched and laid flat with sweat. He shivered, though bundled in flannel pajamas and a hand made quilt. The blue patchwork and horse quilt Spock had seen folded up at the end of Cody's bed. Linked to his arm was an i.v. running to a standing pole next to her chair.
He chest was rattling every time he breathed, Eyes fluttered, showing slits of silver under his lids.
"Mommy..." Colt rasped brokenly. Cody felt the vibration of the small boy speaking and leaned back to watch his lips, read his words. Jim and Mccoy lifted their head and listened in the silence.
"Mommy... is Daddy okay?" The boy's hands made feeble twitches, trying to sign but failing miserably.
Cody's eyes flicked to the lifeless man on the bed. Then dipped her nose back into Colt's hair before lifting one hand and twitching out her signed response.
Yes.
"He's quiet..." Colt rasped and shivered, eyes glassing over.
He's asleep, baby.
Cody lied easily and when it should have burned Spock's gut to see an adult lie to a child, he could only approve.
"He's tired alot Mommy... I'm tired alot..." Colt shook. "My head hurts..."
I know.
"It's okay sometimes... when my head hurts... Mommy, when my head hurts I can see the birds... like on the porch when it snows..." The five year old's words were slurred with exhaustion. "... Remember Mommy? When they're cold?"
Course I do.
Cody gave a pained and weak smile.
And they're all fluffed up, trying to keep the cold out.
The boy's lips twitched in a small smile and he shivered, pulling the quilt closer. He buried his face in it and coughed a few times before sitting up again, lifting his head with years of training to make sure his mother could read his lips, understand him.
"When... when my head hurts they sing alot... in my room. It's like when we'd sit on the porch with Uncle Jim... can Doctor Caniwahu sit with us this year?"
He's family, isn't he?
"Will... he hear the stories... or is he like Daddy? And you have to... have to tell him over and over... until he knows what the birds are saying?"
I think he'll be like Daddy, baby.
"That's okay... Mommy there are birds here now... and snow... it's quiet... 'cept for the birds. It makes me tired...I'm tired and my head hurts Mommy..."
The read outs of the bio link to the boy flickered, hitching and slowing.
"I'm gonna take a nap... snow makes me sleepy..."
Cody hesitated. Okay, baby. That's sounds alright.
"Night... Uncle Jim... Doctor Caniwahu..."
Jim shivered and swallowed hard. "Night, Colt."
"Go kill some monsters, kid." McCoy rasped.
Colt's lips twitched up, then slipped as the read out faltered again. "Tell Daddy g'night..."
I will.
Colt's eyes slipped closed. "Night Mommy..."
Love you baby.
The five year old's wrecked breathing slowed and evened, he relaxed as sleep slipped into place. The minutes crawled by and the readings slowed, shutting down until a second, eerie tone filled the room along side Misha's as Colt slipped into oblivion. Silence hung for a moment before a broken sob ripped from Jim's chest.
"God..." The young man openly wept, dropping his face into his knees and wrapped his arms around his head. McCoy's eyes slipped shut and tears bit through to slide down his jaw, letting his head fall back as he was racked with small convulsions. Cody drew the boy closer and rested her chin on the top of his head. Her eyes dry and body alarmingly still.
"Spock?"
Spock's focused and snapped his gaze over. Jim was wide eyed, staring at him in mild shock, his eyes flashed rapidly back and forth, studying Spock's face.
"You've gone white. God, don't pass out, hold on-" Jim pushed himself half up and started to pull away. Spock's hand tightened instantly on the blonde's wrist and pulled him back, grip tight enough that Jim flinched in pain and sank back into his chair. Spock looked around the kitchen in a daze, taking in the warm colored woods and terra cotta tiles, lingering scent of cooked food and warm bodies.
"Spock-"
"S'ti th'laktra." The hybrid croaked, his voice near broken with a rasp. As if he hadn't spoken aloud for years.
"What?"
"S'ti th'laktra." Spock repeated, his voice steadying and calming, his tone didn't alter as he changed over from Vulcan to Lakota. "Miye ceye kici niye."
The raw grief that Spock had been so completely submerged in for the last few moments slackened off and lessened, the wail of the blonde's emotions quieting, it hummed and the skin under Spock's fingers cooled marginally and the muscle relaxed. Jim swallowed heavily and gave a jerky nod, he licked his lips and his chest filling to speak.
The blonde's voice died in his throat as the oaken, then screen back doors swung open and Cody ducked back into the kitchen with a burst of frigid air. Her breath escaped in a cloud of vapor and she shook herself, as if to break the hold of the cold. The petite rancher absently signed across at them, not casting her eyes around as she started across the kitchen.
Night boys.
Spock's hand snapped out in a blur, catching Cody's wrist as gently as he could but the petite woman still jumped and jerked her arm as if to pull away before she realized what had happened. Her skin was still cool from the night air. Her grey eyes snapped to Spock, looking slightly spooked then dropped to where his fingers were locked around her forearm and back up.
The grief was there, just as painful and raw and ugly as it had been in Jim, it bit at him and Spock felt it run so deep in her that there was certainty it would never heal. The ache was accompanied by a puff of confusion and as her eyes flicked across Jim and the hybrid's joined hands concern. Unlike Jim all of Cody's emotions, no matter the strength, were completely silent.
She cocked her head slightly, eyes softening and she twisted her hand around to wrap her own fingers around Spock's wrist, locking the three of them together identically. Her face, tired and sorrowful, flooded with worry. She lifted her other hand.
Are you okay? Both of you?
"We're alright, Cody." Jim said softly.
What happened?
"Spock saw." Jim continued.
Cody's brow furrowed and she looked questioningly at Spock, her head cocking further and shook it in misunderstanding.
"S'ti th'laktra." Spock said quietly, as he spoke Jim's free hand twitched out the translation. Grey eyes snapped and caught chocolate. She searched his face for a second before the weak smile returned. She heaved a silent sigh and stepped over, free hand reaching around and hooked under Spock's jaw, tilting his head as she pressed a kiss to the sleek, black hair above his ear.
Affection thrummed strong and clear across their connected skin. She breathed into his hair, ruffling it and puffing across his scalp. Hesitating before ghosting another kiss into place and pulled back. She sniffed and tightened her fingers around Spock's wrist before she gently pulled free, reluctantly Spock released his hold on Jim's wrist in turn and felt somewhat isolated after being in close connection with the other two for such an extended period of time.
"We're not sleeping tonight, are we?" Jim asked when Cody looked towards him. The petite rancher glanced back at Spock then shook her head.
"I believe the level of emotional trauma experienced in the last hour will greatly effect any efforts of sleep."
Jim sighed, "Then lets ride."
It was the first sleepless night that Spock spent in the arena with Cody and Jim in the company of horses; riding bareback and bitless, three abreast, until every muscle ached and breathing had become a labor.
By dawn Spock had absolved that the burn in his lungs was most agreeable with him.
The ache warmed him, sore muscles loosened only slightly as he worked through the stable barn, mucking out and bedding down stalls along side Jim while Cody fed, medicated and saddled Blackbird and Yellow Wolf.
"Mornin'."
Jim and Spock's heads snapped up at the soft tread of footsteps. The eldest male of the brothers walked stiffly, his eyes half lidded and hands tucked into the front pocket of a hooded sweatshirt emblazoned with the logo for the Sioux Falls Fire Department across the dark blue fabric.
Casper ambled up to Jim and Spock, he winked at Cody and she nudged him with an elbow as she walked passed.
"Hey Casper." Jim yawned and scrubbed his nose with the back of his forearm.
"Good morning, Casper." The hybrid greeted.
"Hey Spock. Hoksilato ya look like ya haven't slept."
"None of us did." Jim scrubbed at the dark, waxy circles under his eyes.
"There a good reason ya'll do a damn fool thin' like that?"
"Misha and Colt." Jim responded promptly and Casper's face fell. The large man sighed and rubbed the back of his neck then scrubbed his square jaw, stubble having grown into place over night.
"Got to talkin' last night, huh?" Casper's dark eyes flicked to Spock and back again.
"Something like that."
Casper, give Spock a hand while we're on the mountain.
Cody cast her gaze at the eldest male with grey eyes turned stone, warning no argument.
"Yes ma'am." Casper agreed to his elder sister. There had obviously been more to the look than Spock understood. Especially when Cody's eyes narrowed and the giant of a man shrank away from the petite rancher.
"I said alright." Casper muttered, looking slightly uncomfortable.
Cody narrowed her eyes again and glanced at Spock then moved right into Casper's face.
Any of you get any kind of ornery know I will end you.
"Okay! Hell. I thought age was supposed to mellow mares out."
Cody's fist thumped hard into Casper's side, making the firefighter jerk back with a muffled bark of pain and a snarl.
"That hurt goddamnit!" Casper snarled.
And call my hay guy. Kicks. The number's on the fridge, tell him I want sixty rounds and fifty bales, I'll come and get five rounds this weekend.
"Fine. Whatever ya want." The firefighter growled.
Jim chuckled and turned to the tacked Yellow Wolf. The blonde easily vaulted up into the saddle and slid his boots into the stirrups and lighted his hands on the reins. He leaned down towards the hybrid.
"Don't let 'em bully you, Spock. They're all push overs anyway, I swear."Jim assured and Spock dipped his head in assent.
Further down the line of stalls Cody climbed onto Blackbird's back and steered passed Jim. Spock quickly stepped back and averted his eyes from the the buckskin stud. Jim's eyes flicked towards the horse and bent in his saddle, reaching down to drop a hand on Spock's shoulder and squeezed tight before letting go and trotting after Cody.
Spock looked after them and the feeling of being let behind that settled in Spock's chest every morning that he watched the pair head out into the mountain pastures was abnormally strong.
"Got a look at the Thunderbird, huh?"
Spock's eyes snapped up to Casper and narrowed.
"'S alright, Spock. I know the signs. We've all had a glance at him one way or the other." Casper assured with a lopsided grin.
"I see."
"I bet ya did." Casper chuckled. "Just don't try to ride 'im. That one... that's the horse no man could ride."
"Surely that is an exaggeration. There must be a male capable of seating Blackbird." The hybrid absolved.
Casper huffed warmly, his dark eyes flickering with amusement. Spock turned his eyes away from the firefighter and settled on Jim's retreating back.
"It's not. I promise ya. See Spock some horses are different than others." Casper looked towards the hybrid and with quirked lips followed the line of Spock's sight to Jim and back. "Some horses were made to carry only one rider, were made to know only one hand."
"Illogical. Were a horse physically incapable of cooperating with a variety of riders and handlers it would lead to the discouragement and possible destruction of the animal."
"Well, if one of these one man horses was raised and handled right he could get along okay. But he'd always be missin' somethin'."
"You suggest such an animal, a 'one man horse' would only be completely fulfilled and self actualized when he or she was partnered with a particular individual that suits them as a true compliment."
"You got it." Casper's face softened and tilted in a long smile.
Spock's eyebrows tilted down and he slid his molars together.
Next to him Casper chuckled and sank his hands deeper into his hooded sweatshirt pocket.
"Can practically hear ya thinkin' over there, Spock."
"It is an interesting concept, Casper." The hybrid said quietly and turned back to the last two stalls. "One that must be thought of in depth."
Casper watched for a moment as Spock hefted two massive, plastic covered bales of bedding and a single one of fine cedar chips and tossed them into the nearest mucked out stall then repeated it for the last one in the line of boxes. The hybrid walked stepped into the nearest stall and crouched on his heels. Spock pulled the KABAR knife from his hip and easily sliced the cedar bale open and shook it out, kicking the chips around into a relatively even layer for drainage before slicing open the two bedding bales and layered it up in heaps and a thick, comfortable layer.
The firefighter hummed, leaning against the edge of the open stall door. "Bit hard to figure it not bein' raised with horses is it?"
"Indeed. I have only been exposed to the species and working with them for the duration of a nearly a month. I am still adjusting to the expectations that comes with the association." Spock kicked small heaps of bedding into the stall corners then carefully slipped passed Casper into the aisle and dropped the slashed plastic wrappers into trash bag already bloated with similar wrappers. Spock then stepped into the last stall to repeat the process. Casper followed him, leaning again in the stall door and surveyed Spock with interest and a slightly cocked head.
"It's a good thin' I grew up with Creek." Casper hummed under his breath before speaking up. "Well, ya got a good break at it with Sis and Hoksilato."
"This is your personal opinion?" Spock inquired.
"Hell yes. Ya said Jim's teachin' ya himself?"
Spock nodded, pushing cedar chips around.
"There ain't a soul in this universe better'n Jim to lay it in to ya. Hoksilato's a goddamn Whisperer."
Spock remained straightened momentarily to look over his shoulder at Casper before turning back to shake out one of the bedding bales..
Casper's eyebrows rose and the amusement didn't leave his eyes.
"Ya don't have any clue what a Whisperer is, do ya?"
"I have an idea of the concept." Spock defended sharply.
"But ya don't really... know. All ya got is what people, who weren't ever Whisperer's themselves, have written down and romanticized 'bout 'em. Right?"
Spock remained silent and Casper made a soft noise in his throat. The hybrid gathered the remaining plastic wrappers and stuffed them into the trash bag. He stepped into the aisle and patted the bedding and dust clear from his hands, sleeves and jeans.
"Spock..." He said at length and stepped over until he was near shoulder to shoulder with the hybrid and looked out into the yard and on the ranch home as it was slowly lit with the glow of the sun over the mountain peaks. "... when Jim was seven, we'd only known 'im for 'bout a year. One day that sonovabitch of the step father of his beat the Hell outta 'im again. Coulda killed 'im but Jim slipped out and ran. Nobody but Cody started lookin' for 'im for a couple hours and when they did start ligthin' up the feilds it was gettin' late."
Spock narrowed his eyes and his shoulders went tense.
"We looked for hours and I started thinkin' that either he'd really run for it or it'd been too much and he finally just rolled over and laid out. Middle of the night rest of the folks figured 'bout the same. Well Cody came and got our father and led 'im out to the barn and in one of the stalls. 'Tween the hooves of a Percheron stallion, Jim'd curled up and slept the day away. I'd never seen anyone so at peace, him and that damn horse. And that damn horse, that particular damn horse, had tried to kill everyone else that got in arm's length of 'im. Ya ever been try to be killed by a two thousand pound wall of muscle?"
Casper chuckled softly and looked towards the young hybrid at his shoulder. His face fell, confusion then horror sliding into place at the stoic and emotionless mask on Spock's face.
"Oh goddamnit, please tell me ya knew."
Spock remained silent, every thought and system in his body had gone still, Casper's words ringing in his ears and burning across his mind.
"Spock. Please. Tell me ya knew."
"You will have to be more specific-"
"More specifi-!" Casper yanked himself back under control and grit his teeth and checked his voice. "I really need ya to tell me that ya knew 'bout Jim... 'bout 'im gettin' beat up when he was a pup."
"I am Vulcan, Casper. I cannot lie directly-"
"Goddamnit all!" Casper scrubbed his face and dug fingers into his cheeks. "Oh no."
"Casper-"
"Spock. Seriously. I swear, I figured he'da told ya. I mean, ya know, way he won't shut up 'bout ya... awe God."
"Casper. I detected, during your narrative, a certain level of casualty. It is very clear that you were under the impression that I was privy the information."
Casper sighed and hid his face in his hands.
"I also predict that you do not wish for me to disclose this slip to Jim."
"You better sure as Hell talk to 'im."
Spock's eyes snapped up to Casper's. The firefighter looked older and weary.
"I was bein' stupid and I told a story I wasn't mine to tell. Just... when ya decide to talk to 'im just tell 'im I told ya. He'll be pissed but he won't blame ya. Especially if ya do it right away, don't hold out on 'im. Since ya know, the sooner the better or he might start figurin' yer hidin' stuff from him."
"Understood. I will speak with him when he returns from the mountain."
A silence lingered between them.
"Ya alright Spock?"
No.
Spock felt oddly detached from his own body and thought processes. He'd never been so far away from the workings and figurations of his own mind. The concept of the information that had been disclosed to him was so abstract and grotesque it wasn't truly settling in his mind. Liken to his experience with Time Machine, he simply did not understand why a rational and intelligent adult would lay their hand on another in violence, much less a child.
The idea made his stomach roll and brought bile into his throat , effectively choking him. The notion burned bitterly so soon after experiencing the still lingering, raw grief of Colt's loss.
The idea occurring in context with Jim's name, the idea that Jim had suffered not just as a youth and adult but since his earliest years of life.
"Course yer not alright. Ya look 'bout the same as I did when I found out." Casper sighed and Spock barely repressed a flinch at the intrusion of the eldest brother's voice.
"There is no mistaking your observations? Perhaps skewed by your age or a misconception altered by embellishment by youth."
"'Bout what happened to Hoksilato?"
"Yes. There is no room for error?"
Casper hesitated then sighed. "I wish there was."
Spock squashed a shiver.
"Casper, I wish to express to you that my disgust for the notion has nothing to do with Jim himself."
"What?" Casper cocked his head slightly.
"There is very little violence in my culture. Abuse is not something the occurs in our society. Mistreatment laid on a youngling is unheard of, even in the times before the Enlightenment. Losing a child is an unimaginable pain. One that in the spans of the last twelve hours I have learned is shared by our two races. I do not understand abuse, not the action itself or the reasoning and rational behind it. I do not think I can."
"So yer sayin' ya don't get why someone one would hurt a kid and ya don't blame Hoksilato for what happened to him."
"Indeed."
Casper smiled slightly and sadly before lightly draping and arm across Spock's shoulders. The young hybrid resisted jerking away.
"I'm with ya. Now we just gotta get Hoksilato to agree with us."
Spock's eyebrows rose into his hairline and Casper nudged him and grabbed the full trash bag with his free hand.
"C'mon Spock. I'll teach ya how to make flapjacks fit for a firehouse and ya can have a chat with Cokata. He's the one that worked Special Victims. I just put out fires." The firefighter steered Spock out of the stable barn and into the cold across the yard and ducking back into the ranch house.
The warmth and quiet was welcoming. The whole house was silent, the Brothers and their families still tucked into their borrowed beds, the attic silent with the Pups still curled in their sleeping bags, ears perked and noses twitched from the assorted German Shepherds, Rottweiler, Collie and Australian Shepherds scattered around the floor of the kitchen and into the living room. Curled up on the big pillow in the corner the Welsh Corgi Situpsa and the albino fawn Anahme wheezed and snored softly together. Casper set the bag of shredded plastic next to the door on the porch before walking light footed around the dogs. Spock started for the mud room and the large steel container full of dog kibble.
"I already fed 'em all Spock. No worries." Casper waved him off and started pulling bowls down from the shelves and ingredients from the refrigerator and pantry.
"Casper, are you aware that I cannot ingest any kind or form of animal products."
"Ya allergic?" Casper asked and instantly reached into the refrigerator to pull out the cartons of synthetic eggs and soy milk.
"The Vulcan culture is vegan by nature."
"Huh." Casper pulled down another large bowl and set it next to the first. "Learn somthin' new everyday. Other than Soli and ya I don't know any offworlders."
"Before meeting Jim and Cody had no knowledge of the Native American subculture." Spock confessed and deftly unlaced his boots and set them neatly amid the jumble of shoes just inside the mudroom. The hybrid twisted his toes in his socks, slightly damp from the length of time they'd been used. He stepped into the mudroom and riffled carefully through a wicker basket full of clean clothing, most of it his own, and extracted a pair of thick, woolen socks. Spock replaced his used ones and set them into a basket of dirty laundry waiting to be done and crossed back into the kitchen. He quickly did a similar swap out of his thermal and layered tee shirt then pulled the AQHA hooded sweatshirt back into place.
Nemo A534 rose from the floor and moved over to greet him, the hybrid stroked the dog's ears and thick fur and moved to where Casper had set up a thick sheet of metal over the four burners of the stove, greasing it with cooking spray and turning on the burners under it.
Casper motioned him closer and pushed one of the bowls in front of the hybrid and the assorted ingredients spread between them on the counter top.
"As you stated that what we are about to concoct was 'fit for a firehouse' I am to assume that there is an exceptional quality to them."
"Let me tell ya somethin' bout firefighters, Spock. They're constantly on the edge of starvation and picky. Very delicate palates for a bunch of smoke-eaters. If it ain't good, they ain't gonna eat it."
"I see."
"Alright Spock, just do what I do. Hoksilato'll probably appreciate yers better anyway seein' as if ya look at 'im funny he falls down dead in anaphylactic shock." Casper opened the massive glass container full of flour and set to work. Spock mimicked him perfectly, stirring the thick batter with more reserve than the firefighter and copied the large spoonful tipped onto the griddle surface, waiting patiently for the batter to thicken and rise, studded with bubbles to flip it over. Sooner than naught a tall stack of near perfectly shaped and sized pancakes on a large plate separate from Casper's own. The firefighter had begun to improvise, creating shapes in the batter. Awkward and lopsided animals marched across the griddle in misshapen parade. All the while Casper kept up a constant, low chatter about everything and nothing all together.
The back door opened and Spock stilled, turning and felt a twinge in his gut when Creek ambled in out of the cold. The doctor preferred to sleep on the plush sofa in the miniature game room in the Workshop, even if it involved a short walk through frigid air first thing in the morning and in the depth of night. His own jaw was lined with the stubble similar to Casper's, his long raven feather hair loose and draped around his neck and shoulders.
"Hey Mniohlateinyan." Casper hummed.
"Greetings Creek."
"Good morning Casper. Spock." Creek rolled his shoulders and moved around his eldest brother and the hybrid to get to a pot of coffee Casper had started. Spock pulled down a stack of plates and set them onto the table top next to the ceramic container filled with silverware. Casper followed him with a small plate heaped with a thick pat of butter and two glass pitchers full of different flavored syrup, maple and strawberry.
"May I ask a personal query, Creek?"
"By all means." The doctor waved him on with a dip of his head.
"Will you explain to me the meaning of 'Mniohlateinyan'? My fluency in Lakota is progressing but the meanings of names is still beyond my capabilities." Spock set the platter of vegan pancakes on the table top as Casper did the same on the other side of the table.
"It means 'Water Under Stone', " Casper smirked. "It's his name inside the tribe. Like mine is 'Petamato'. Fire Bear."
"A secondary name?" Spock asked.
"It's a name we've earned, granted to us when we entered the tribe as men. Given to us to describe ourselves. Some defining mark of our personalities or design." Creek explained with a slightly cocked head.
"Or after somethin' that happened to us that we were honored for. It's a Call Sign for our Nation."
"Call Signs are the devil." A gravel voice ground out, the trio turned to see the youngest brother Cikala stagger into the kitchen and drop himself non to gently into the nearest chair at the table. The Narcotics officer scrubbed a hand through his hair, tugged at the missing chunk of his ear and wrinkled his nose before yawning. His blue hazel eyes clouded and mucky with sleep.
"Call Signs are a part of the military culture, are they not?" Spock questioned.
"Yeah. But they're not nearly as 'honorable' as the names in the Nation." Cikala snorted and took a offered mug of coffee from Casper.
"Your brothers refer to you as Wahacaka." Spock prompted.
"Shield." Cikala agreed. "Cokata's 'Glietahawicate'. Returned From Death."
Spock turned his eyes towards Creek, eyebrows raised towards his hairline.
"When Cokata was shot he underwent multiple hours of intense surgery and died and was revived several times on the operating table. At one point he'd flatline for two minutes." Creek assured.
"Remarkable." Spock said lowly.
"He always was the most badass." Casper rumbled with a grin and sipped his coffee.
"Leonard's 'Caniwahu', Sawbones. Misha was 'Wacignunihehaka', Wandering Elk." Cikala continued.
"Didn't have a sense of direction. He'd get lost walkin' in a circle." Casper's laughter rumbled deep in his chest. Cikala and Creek's lips quirked up in their own slight smiles.
"Jim's 'Hoksilato'. Blue Child. The eyes. " Creek commented.
"And Sis is 'Iyaelainila'." Casper finished off stretching his back one last time and started for the entrance of the kitchen into the den.
"What does this mean?" Spock prompted, remembering hearing the name hummed along the edges of Jim's memory.
"Speaks in Silence." Casper said over his shoulder.
"Cody earned her name pretty early in life." Cikala muttered into the side of his mug.
"I am told she cannot speak because she cannot hear and therefore is incapable of repeating sound. Is... is it distasteful to contemplate what Cody's voice would sound like?" Spock asked tentatively.
The brothers smiled together.
"Naw Spock. We've all wondered that one time or another. Just wait until Caniwahu shows up, he'll wax poetic 'bout fixin' Sis' hearnin' and speech therapy." Cikala sighed.
"Not so much recently." Casper protested. "He's laid off 'bout it."
"Good." Cikala growled.
"He meant no offense. He posted the proposition out of an overwhelming emotional response to guilt concerning his inability to make significant difference in the past. He blames himself for our loss." Creek hummed out factually.
"The loss of Misha and Colt." Spock interjected.
Cikala tensed. "How ya know 'bout that."
"Is is not obvious that his close friendship with Hoksilato would result in some confidences exchanged and disclosed to one another?" Creek cocked his head to the side sipped at his coffee. "Am I correct, Spock."
"Indeed." Spock said honestly. "I concur with Creek. The loss of a patient during our recent deployment resulted in similar behavior and reaction concerning responsibility and pacification."
"Not a great way of makin' amends." Cikala snapped.
"Bury it Cikala." Casper bit out harshly. "Yer the only one that's got a problem with 'im and ya didn't use to. Ya need to break this grudge."
The Narcotics officer huffed but locked his teeth. The brothers quieted until Casper huffed in acceptance. It seemed that in absence of the true alpha, Cody, Casper took up the position. Casper leaned out of the doorway and let out a bone rattling whistle that pitched high enough to make Spock wince. The assorted dogs scrambled up to their paws and jerked their heads around at the noise before scattering around the room and bounding away deeper into the house. Nemo A534 sided up to Spock and stayed at his hip, sitting back on his haunches and tipping his nose up towards the scent of the pancakes.
"Let's go! Chow!" The firefighter boomed into the house then stepped back. Above and around them the muffled sounds of people stirring and shuffling away from sleep filled the quiet.
"May I ask, Spock, are these vegan pancakes?" Creek asked motioning towards the cooling stack Spock had made.
"They are."
"Very good." Creek agreed and pulled a plate free and helped himself to two of the cakes, drowning them in strawberry syrup.
"Don't tell me ya've gone and turned into a hay burner." Cikala huffed.
"A vegan diet is an extremely healthy one and consistent with longevity. Thought I will set your mind at ease that I do and will continue to consume meat and animal products." Creek assured and fell on a large mouthful of pink stained pancake, he made a small sound of approval.
"This is you're first attempt?" He asked after he'd swallowed.
Spock nodded and the odd brother made another noise of assent and fell back to his meal. Cikala hefted a plate and put one of each Spock's and Casper's pancakes on his platter muttering about 'trying anything once', prompted by the older men Spock took his own pancakes and mimicked Creek with a large dollop of strawberry syrup. He managed to swallowed two delicately cut bites before what sounded like a small landslide, rumbled down the stairs and tumbled into the kitchen.
The Pups were still sleepy eyed and wearing rumpled pajamas, their hair fluffed and askew they stumbled into the room the twins clutching identical stuffed horses, Suri adjusting his slight framed glasses and Toweya looking a little cranky.
Cikala reached over and ruffled his daughter's hair. "Why do ya look like ya ate artichoke?"
"'M tired, Daddy. Leave me alone." Toweya said snappishly, expressing a similar volatile personality of her sire. Her eyes narrowed warily. "Pancakes?"
"Spock and Uncle Casper made 'em." Cikala assured.
Toweya relaxed slightly and behind her the other three pups chirped softly in agreement.
"Good, 'cause ya cain't cook, Daddy."
"That's not a very nice thing to say." Casper rumbled with quirked lips as her set a pancake shaped like a horse on Maza's plate and one shaped like a rabbit on Magazu's, drowning both with maple syrup and passed them over to the twins who had settled themselves in the same place that they had taken dinner the night before along with forks, napkins and turned to start filling a row of glasses with creamy milk.
"It's true though." Toweya shrugged and like her father took one of each and settled herself across from the twins.
"Hi Spock." Suri hummed shyly and offered a tired smile to the elder hybrid.
"Good morning, Suri. Did you obtain a necessary amount of rest?"
Suri blinked. "Kinda, the twins wouldn't sleep. Uncle Casper can I have one of each?"
"Sure kiddo." Casper smoothed the Aenar half breed's dark hair back as easily as if the boy was his own and mocked up the plate.
"Thanks Uncle Casper." Suri took his plate and joined his cousins.
"Sorry I'm late." Cokata's warm, low voice hummed through the quickly rising noise of the kitchen, his hands skimming over the curve of his wheels and rolled quietly into the kitchen with the three spouses in his wake. "Found some damsels that needed a little rescuin'."
"Always the champion, ain't cha wheels?" Cikala muttered and choked when the wheelchair bound brother smacked him sharply across the backside of his head.
"Don't talk with yer mouth full Wahacaka." Cokata snorted and rolled across the kitchen floor and reached for the coffee bubbling happily on the stove top, pouring himself a large mugful. Marie, Tessa and Soli turned to the table, greeting their husbands and offspring with soft motherly smiles and whispered words before helping themselves to pancakes and syrup.
A few long moments passed and the quiet, comfortable chatter and eating was interrupted when the door opened. Dogs rushed out as Jim and Cody stalked in, each shaking a little from exhaustion and cold.
"Hey!" Cokata said cheerfully then his face and the faces of each brother fell. "Hoksilato, Sis, ya look like Hell."
"Remind you of your mirror, huh?" Jim sighed and scrubbed the back of his hand across his eyes.
"Did either of ya sleep?" Cikala asked with knit brows as he stuffed another overlarge cut of pancake in his mouth and chewed it loudly.
Not all of us get to freeload off their big sisters for the holidays, Cikala. Cody yawned mutely around her twitching hand and steered towards the coffee. Jim bypassed and headed for the entrance of the kitchen and most likely his bedroom.
"Ya sick, Hoksilato? Ya just walked passed a table full of food." Casper teased lightly.
"Nap." Jim muttered over his shoulder, his skin looking pale and slightly ashen in the light of the day and kitchen. A tell of his exhaustion, Spock felt his insides twist a little unhappily seeing him in such a state.
"Spock made some hypoallergenic pancakes himself so ya don't die." Casper pitched his voice a little louder.
Jim made a quick turn about face on his heel and walked back to where Sock was sitting, reached passed the Vulcan hybrid and pulled a fork free of the ceramic container. Spock sat back a little as Jim bent over his plate, neatly sliced the side of the fork into Spock's half eaten pancakes, speared the double chunk, swirled it through the pool of pink. Jim spun it once before popping it into his mouth, smoothly pulling the fork between lips.
He chewed almost mechanically before some life sparked back into tired cerulean eyes and he made a small noise of contentment.
"Those are good." He mumbled making a small bubble of warmth low in Spock's stomach that resembled ones he'd felt as a child and praised by an elder. "Save me a couple."
Jim tossed the fork into the sink as he turned back towards his first intention to retreat from the kitchen and company. The sound of the blonde man making his slow way up the stairs.
"Hey." Spock's eyes snapped to Casper. The firefighter jerked his head in Jim's wake.
"Excuse me." Spock said quietly and pushed himself to his feet, Nemo A534 danced back a little and walked closely on Spock's heels. He quietly followed Jim's trail, feeling a few glanced of the brother's on his shoulder blades.
"What was that 'bout?" Cikala muttered lowly, just loud enough for Spock's sharpened hearing to catch his voice.
Spock rolled his shoulders slightly and lightly bounded up the steps to the second floor and moved smoothly down the hall and slid carefully through the gap of Jim's door, the one eyed Shepherd followed dutifully. His knuckles brushing the wood just firm enough to make a noise. Jim jerked himself out of his closet, stripped down to only a pair of fresh jeans and bare feet.
"Hey Spock. Great pancakes. I swear I'll eat when I have the will to chew." Jim huffed tiredly, his lips tilted up in amusement as he pulled down his hooded sweat shirt marked with the medicine wheel, horses and Red Tail Hawk feather logo for Native Sky Ranch embroidered across the back. He looped it over an arm and dug into one of the drawers of his dresser and pulled out a white tee shirt. Then tugged on the hooded sweatshirt, pulling it low around his waist.
"I did not seek you out concerning the meal, thought the compliments are welcome."
"Oh... did you want to take a nap or something?" Jim motioned towards the bed dressed up with bed clothes and comforter of russet and tawny.
"No-"
"Awesome." Jim tumbled gracelessly into his bed and shamelessly dug under the comforter and sheets, Nemo A534 leap up into the bed next to him, nuzzling into his own navy and gold blanket in one corner of the bed.
"Go sit in the chair."
Jim's voice was muffled and muttered under the layers of fabric. Spock obliged, moving and seating himself lightly in the plush chair. Half a second later Jim had roughly shoved his russet comforter off the bed and to the floor at Spock's feet and grabbed both of his plush pillows. The blonde rolled over to lay crosswise on his bed and face Spock. He tucked one pillow between his knees and hugged the other into his chest and pressed his cheek into it.
"Use the blanket. You look like you've got something you want to say." Jim muttered into the pillow and sighed contentedly. Spock bent and pulled the comforter up around his frame, bundling into it and soaking in the scent of Jim on the fabric. The hybrid settled himself back into the chair, crossing his legs neatly in the seat and sighed softly.
"What Spock?"
"It is of a personal nature."
One cerulean eye flickered open. "It's fine. Whatever you want to say I'll listen."
"You're personal nature Jim." Spock advanced slowly, picking his words carefully.
"I'm going to take a shower." Jim huffed with a lightened tone of offense, his lips quirked slightly.
"Jim."
The blonde sobered and shifted his head around on the pillow to see Spock better.
"What?" He coaxed quietly.
"This morning Casper divulged to me information that he was unaware that I was not yet privy too. He suggested that I speak to you concerning the matter as quickly as the situation allowed."
Jim watched him, tensing slightly and Spock wondered briefly if this was the catalyst that would finally cause Jim to bolt.
"About what Spock?"
"Concerning the fact that you were brutalized regularly as a child."
The air the flowed out of Jim's chest rattled and clinked like a quarter in a can. A painful wheeze of a noise. Then silence, Jim's eyes shut and breathing so shallow and light it almost wasn't audible.
"Jim?" The hybrid asked softly.
"What do you want me to say Spock?" Jim asked.
Cerulean eyes opened slowly and they looked dull and glazed.
"What am I supposed to say? You want to hear the stuff I told teachers and school counselors?"
"I wish to hear that the allegations were untrue."
"They weren't."
The finality sent a rush of bitterness through the hybrid and he was startled by and quickly suppressed a growl. He grit his teeth until a sharp spike of pain ran through his gums.
"There's nothing I could have done-"
"You could have sought help."
"Then what?" Jim snapped. "I tell someone. Then they take me away. Then someone else gets the heat. Someone has to take my place. Better me than my mom."
Spock swallowed heavily, knowing internally that if faced with the same situation Spock would have no less to protect his own mother.
"It doesn't matter anymore Spock. Hell, some good came of it."
Spock nearly snarled, tension wired through him like a current. "Good?"
"It's how I got mixed up with the Chicalatos. Ben was the local Sheriff, he was off duty hacking out with Cody and he caught a call for domestic disturbance. He was the closest so he was first responder. I don't remember it, I was semi-conscious, blood was pooling in my brain. Ben put me up in the saddle with Cody and she ran me to the hospital. When I woke up she was sitting with me. Been there ever since."
Spock drew a long breath.. "How old were you?"
"Six."
"Your mother-"
"Off planet."
Spock settled into silence for a long moment, listening to the slowly evening sound of Jim's breathing.
"I don't want to talk about it anymore Spock."
"I wish only to say that I plead to you that do not look upon this as a blessing. Not matter what may have come of it."
Jim sighed then gave a small, jerky nod. The hybrid nodded in turn and settled lower in the chair, casting his eyes out the row of plane windows and over the paddocks and pastures.
"You're going to sit there, aren't you?"
"The probability is high."
Jim huffed a noise that sounds like somewhat like an exhausted laugh but made no other noise, just turned his face a little deeper into the pillow and went still. Spock mimicked the stillness and listened intently more than watched. Still slightly rocked in his core he focused on the smoothing and shallowing breath of Jim as the blonde dozed and eventually drifted. Spock listened to the even rhythm, letting his eyes drift shut and the thoughts start to fall away, soothing himself by detachment from the more conscious workings of his mind.
Sleep was the last thing Spock intended to do but he must have drifted because the float and drift of near nothingness broke with a light pressure on his shoulder. Chocolate eyes opened slowly and blinked away any kind of bleariness to look up at the seafoam grey pools of Cody's face. She smiled gently.
Better get the blood pumping again or you won't sleep tonight.
She chided gently with a few twitches of her fingers.
Spock cast his eyes towards the curled form of Jim, the blonde was balled up around his core, a soft wheeze of a noise whistling out his nose and lips.
May I inquire the time?
About six.
You allowed us to sleep for nine hours?
You needed it.
Spock doubted that any Vulcan needed none hours of sleep when an average of four a night could be considered sloth.
Want to help me with bedding down the horses?
Spock nodded and slowly extracted himself from the cocoon of warmth under the russet comforter. He shivered a little at the drop of temperature but roused himself completely. He moved to lay a hand on Jim's shoulder.
Let him alone there, Spock. He needs the sleep. He's a bit tore up.
Tore up?
The whole thing with Colt and Misha and not sleeping, then we went up to the mountain to the worst kind of thing.
What happened? Spock tried to put some kind of sharpness into the movement of his hands, indicate his concern.
Lost a couple to wolves last night.
Spock's eyebrows arched into his hairline. The instance of lost cattle to a predator had only happened once before in the last month. The night had been marked by an eerie silence from the phantom Hota and the Lost Trail pack. It took a moment for Spock to recall that the night before the mountain had been void of wolf song as well.
How many?
Two. Couple of heifers. If the six that have gone to predators is all I lose this year it's a good one. But leave Jim be. With all that and Casper told me what happened so I figured you two were up here hashing it out. He's probably burnt out.
Spock nodded and cast his eyes back over his shoulder once to make sure of Jim and Nemo A534 before following on Cody's heels into the hall and down stairs.
Sprawled across the den floor were the Pups and the visiting dogs with an assortment of toys, trinkets and stuffed animals, they chattered and divided their attention between each other and a vid screen playing some kind of animated movie. In the center of their circle was the poly puppy fat form of Matoha, gurgling around a teething ring and occasionally letting out a shriek. Surveying them from the sofa were Marie, Soli and Tessa. Parked next to the sofa was Cokata in his wheel chair. The counselor lifted his head in a jerk of acknowledgement.
The kitchen was unoccupied, but the muffled rumble of noise drifting up from below the floor boards gave way that the other three brothers were likely taking liberties of the game room in the Workshop. Spock followed dutifully on Cody's heels and moved to take up Jim's chore of opening the stable barn doors and calling the horses in.
Spock pushed the doors back, sliding them along the rail and edged to side, took a deep breath and let out a long sharp whistle. It had taken Jim three days to explain the physical functions that entailed whistling and still Spock was not able to create or mimic the pitches and range of sounds that Jim and Cody did. But his singular accomplishment of the long call was enough. He stepped back as he hair ruffled and swept in the wake of the herd galloping into the aisle and wheeled into their stalls. Cody had already pulled out and cut free two bales of hay to pass out and retreated to portion out grain. Spock pulled his cloth gloves into place, working them around his fingers before gripping a flake in each hand and tossing them lightly into the stalls, shortly followed by Cody dumping grain. He took up mixing supplements and vitamins while Cody mocked up the injections and orals. Once each animal was dosed and Cody's expert eye cast over for any kind of injury or strain and the stall and barn doors were shut and locked tight.
The air froze in Spock lungs when they stepped out of the stable barn. He shivered a little against the frigid air. Montana was getting colder by the day and it still hadn't even suggested the snow and ice storms that came in with the true winter. The air was getting harder to breathe as the air got colder.
Another tremor rippled through him and Cody's hand lighted on the small of his back. Spock tensed slightly at the touch but Cody only gave him a small push, urging him into a short stride jog. They trotted the set of the way across the yard and ducked into the kitchen, the warmth easing Spock's breathing exponentially. He tugged off the cloth gloves and tucked them into the pocket of his corduroy jacket before tugging the garment off and laying it across the back of a chair.
He looked up and stopped.
Jim was sitting at the far end of the table, his eyes tired and half lidded,edge of his jaw perched on one braced hand and the other wrapped loosely around a half full coffee mug and Nemo A534 pressed close to his knee, head in Jim's lap. He flicked exhausted eyes up at Spock and gave a twitch of his lips that might have been a smile.
"Why when I sleep does it seem like I haven't?" The blonde muttered and shut his eyes.
"Perhaps you should seek medical attention concerning the matter." Spock suggested. Jim huffed a noise into his palm and absently drew a mouthful from his mug.
Cody gave a sharp, short whistled and both young men turned towards her.
What do you want to eat?
"What are you making?" Jim asked.
Whatever you want to eat.
Jim sighed and worked his jaw and made a few clicks and sucking pop noises between his teeth.
"Spock you ever had pasta primavera?"
The hybrid shook his head.
"Awesome. Pasta primavera." He signed the words as he spoke them, making sure Cody caught them. The petite rancher nodded and dove in, pulling out pans and pots, filling some with water and setting to boil and others lined with oil. She dug into the refrigerator pulling out and started slicing up vegetables, and dumping them into a low pan to simmer and saute, generously coating them with spices. Within a few minutes Spock's stomach gave a content twist at the scent of cooking vegetables. He helped himself to some of the boiling water and mixed a large cup of tea and refilled Jim's coffee before sitting next to the blonde at the table.
For a time Spock was at peace, relaxing slightly in the kitchen and save for the small noises below and floating in from the den he was alone again with Jim and Cody. Canteska snoring slightly, curled under the table, Wagi dozing with Situpsa and Anahme on the large pillow in the corner. It was as if the last forty eight hours had not passed. Spock drew in deep breaths of the tea and listened to the sound of Cody working and Jim breathing. He reach to lightly stroke his hand down Nemo A534's head and ears occasionally.
"You want to get into a saddle tonight?"
Spock twitched his head to the side. "Yes."
"We'll work a couple hours on it later tonight. Promise me you'll keep a light hand on the reins. I can't handle anyone that sits around yanking on a soft mouth."
"I have never held reins before therefore will only know who to hold them in the way you show me."
"Fair enough."
Cody moved the middle of the kitchen then harshly stomped her booted foot on the floor three times.
The sounds from below stopped for a second then started up again. Cody twisted and gave a short, sharp whistle.
"Comin'!" Cokata called from the den and the sounds of the Pups being rounded up mixed with the low rumble that accompanied the brothers making their way up from the Workshop and into the back door of the kitchen. The petite rancher side stepped n front of them to lay another platter near Spock cluttered with chunks of hard and soft cheeses made at the ranch from Cody's diary cattle, along with a few small knives and a hand grater.
"There they are!' Casper huffed seeing Spock and Jim at the table. "Everythin' square?"
"For now." Jim shrugged a shoulder and sat back as Cody set a large platter of thick slices of toasted bread seasoned with garlic and butter. Jim easily lifted one from the plate and stuffed half of it into his mouth before cody had the chance to lightly box his ear. Jim winced and muffled out a curse as he chewed.
"Language." Casper, Cokata and Cikala warned and the blonde grumbled again and swallowed heavily before getting up from his chair and urging for Spock to do the same. Within a few minutes the arranged seats form the night before were taken up again. Spock leaned against the cabinets, his flank pressed into Jim's knee where the blonde had perched himself on the countertop next to the sink.
"Smells good there, Sis." Casper huffed, leaning over the pan and simmering sauce.
Cody waved him off and quickly started filling plates with the strained noodles, then heaping each with a layer of the thick sauce and vegetables before passing them out. Getting the Pups settled before passing off to Spock, then Jim, the brothers and wives before serving herself and taking up her place at the head to the table.
Jim and Spock kept their places near the sink, avoiding the cheeses each for their own reasons and stayed mostly to themselves, listening to the brothers and Pups chatter. Spock savored the vegetables in the sauce slowly as after everyone was served there was little left. The flavors of tomato, broccoli, mushrooms and olives blended easily with the garlic, salt and oregano. His attention turned fully to Jim when the blonde insisted on showing Spock the right way to coil noodles on his fork with a clutter of vegetables in the center, a more delicate under taking than it appeared.
Their attention was turned away as the late hour claimed Marie, Tessa and Soli who ushered the Pups out of the room with a fair amount of whining and bargaining. It was only then, as Cody started another pot of coffee, that Spock became aware that only he and Jim were still working their way through the meal. The brothers had resigned to popping cut chunks of cheese and turned to untapped conversation with the two Starfleet officers.
"So, Hoksilato, I was thinkin'-" Cikala rumbled.
"Did you hurt yourself?" Jim chirped to a round of encouraging noises from the brothers.
"Shut up, astro boy." Cikala huffed as his siblings laughed at his expense for the small barb. Spock glanced at Cody who was leaning on the counter next to him. The woman's face split into a grin.
"Anyway, ya know how yer whole deal is the exploration and expansion thin'?"
"No I wasn't aware." Jim teased and nearly toppled into Spock dodging out of the way when Cikala hurled a cut piece of garlic toast at the blonde's head. The brothers whooped and Cody shook her head and sighed silently. Cikala looked slightly agitated but still in good humor. Spock continued to work his way slowly through the remains of his meal.
"What I wanted to ask yer smart ass was how come ya'll don't mark destinations 'this planet, ya are food'? Huh? I mean ya'll seem to go to alot of places where yer the bottom of the fuckin' food chain, in some personal journal somewhere does it say on some planets 'here ya be a deli snackcake'?"
By the time Cikala was finished speaking Cokata, Casper and Jim had dissolved into barks of laughter with Creek looking bemused in his corner of the table. Jim near choking, gasping to catch his breath, slowing himself down and scrubbing a hand across his eyes.
"Goddamn. That... that's a good idea. Spock, start that log." Jim lightly nudged the hybrid's shoulder.
"Yes, Captain. I shall start the 'Human Ratioed to Deli Snackcake Planetary Log' on departure of the next deployment."
Jim blinked at him, cerulean eye wide. His head snapped around and pointed accusingly at Cikala.
"You got Spock to make a joke!"
The brothers huffed in laughter and Cikala rolled his eyes.
"Finally! The Coyote is back!" Jim whooped.
"Yeah." Casper growled. "Where the Hell ya been?"
"What?" Cikala grumbled.
You've had a bitterness streak for the last two years. Cody singed truthfully.
"I have not!" Cikala defended.
Cody shook her head.
"It's true, Wahacaka." Jim muttered, tangling a few noodles on his fork with a mushroom cap. "You're not the Coyote anymore. I can't remember the last time you made a joke that wasn't sarcastic."
"Or morbid." Casper sighed.
"Or at the expense of another." Creek agreed.
"Not to mention the tiff you had with Bones and now you've had a three year grudge going."
Cikala rolled his eyes. "What does it matter?"
"Well, you know, it's a little out of character seeing as how you've never had a grudge in your LIFE!" Jim snorted.
Jim's right. you've strayed from you nature Cikala.
Cikala sighed. "Fine, I changed a little-"
"A little!?" Casper growled.
Spock twitched slightly, the sound of a door opening and shutting quietly reached him. He tensed, waiting and watching the entrance to the kitchen, loosing sense of the riotous brothers, Jim and the silent influence of Cody. His eyebrow lifted when the solid, familiar frame of Doctor Leonard McCoy slid into view and stood in the archway with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder.
The physician's chocolate eyes roved over the group, sparked with some kind of light Spock had no name for. McCoy caught his eyes, giving a slight dip of the head before catching the attention of the sole Chicalato female.
Cody's head lifted, she looked slightly disbelieving for a heart beat before a small smile crept to her lips, her face softening eyes warming. In stead of signing her lips moved, shaping a single title without voice.
'Len'
McCoy lifted his hand and gave a slight, gentle twitch of his large hand. Cody returned it, almost shyly.
She didn't react when Casper snapped his fingers in her direction.
"Hey, Sis, still with us?" The older brother rumbled good naturedly and looked to the object of Cody's attention. He went still, face going slack.
"Caniwahu." He rasped and the brothers and Jim sat up like hunting dogs at attention.
"Bones?" Jim sniffed, eyebrows in his hairline.
"Hey Jim. Hey fellas." McCoy hummed.
The brothers chorused at the top of their lungs, "Caniwahu!"
They nearly knocked over the table, scrambling to tackle McCoy, Cokata and Cikala hanging back as the others went about bringing the doctor down with a grunt and curse in a coltish pile of joy. They barked and mouthed like puppies, landing gentle blows and rolling each other over in a mass of euphoric brotherhood. They tumbled and thundered in play before settling enough to climb back to their feet, embracing as if like depended on it, bringing back into the fold their wayward 'sibling'.
McCoy's face was flushed, lips broken into a wide grin, hair mussed and panting. Spock had never seen the doctor so jovial and relaxed. He hugged Jim tightly and ruffled the hair of the brothers he could reach, reasserting himself as the eldest of the group along side Cody.
The petite woman had her hands steepled over her nose and mouth, not hiding a grin well, her eyes bright pools of grey, watching McCoy intently.
The medical officer's eyes drifted to the two brothers still at the table. "Cikala. Ya look good."
"Back at cha, Caniwahu." Cikala's tone was just as formal as McCoy's had been. The medical officer then reached out towards Cokata. The brother in the wheelchair easily wrapped his fingers around McCoy's wrist.
"Cokata, hey."
"Caniwahu. Ya look like ya run all the way here."
"Feels like."
McCoy resigned himself an eased down to where Creek had been sitting, allowing Jim to snake his duffle, pausing to lift a respectful hand to Spock, acknowledging him.
Afterwards McCoy gave the brothers his full attention, explaining his complications with the Enterprise crew's medical records but Spock couldn't help but notice from time to time that his eyes drifted to Cody, who engaged in silent pacification and conversation with Cikala, returned the looks from the corner of her eye and through her lashes.
Spock kept a careful log of observation but turned his attention to the rest of the brothers and Jim, listening to their own tangents of conversation and banter. The night wore on and slowly the brothers dropped off, slipping off to their borrowed beds, only Cokata, Jim, McCoy, Cody and himself remained in the quieted room, sipping coffees and tea in Spock's case.
"So Caniwahu." Cokata rumbled, running a hand through his cropped hair.
"Right here, it's ready to file if we need it." The doctor dug into his pack and extracted a PADD, turning it over to the counselor. Jim rose and jogged out of the room, returning with a laptop computer, quickly cracking it open and booting up the operating systems before setting it between Cokata and the medical officer.
"Alright. Got yer gut under control?" Cokata took the documents and skimmed through them. McCoy nodded and Cokata's flitted his finger over the keyboard of the laptop before spinning it around, showing an open communication's window in the process of completing a connection and waiting acceptance on the other end.
"I inquire what is happening." Spock asked and Jim and Cokata promptly sushed him, the former moving away so that McCoy was the only one in line of the communication's window.
A few long minutes passed and Spock noticed McCoy's hands fidgeting under the table, tough his face stayed stoic and calm. The window hummed happily and blinked to the picture of a pretty woman a few years McCoy's junior. She had large, expressive eyes and a mane of thick, blonde hair spilling down her shoulders. Her throat was long and slim and her face round and soft.
At least for a moment.
The second she caught sight of and registered McCoy her face hardened into bitter ice, jaw locking and her eyes brimming with hatred.
"Hello Jocelyn." McCoy said confidently and calmly.
"What do ya want Leonard." The woman all but snapped. McCoy's demeanor didn't change but he didn't try and make small talk, getting right to business.
"I wanted to talk to ya 'bout keepin' Joanna for a bit, I'm on Earth. on Liberty, for a few months, stayin' with some friends. I wanted to have Joanna over the holidays. We're gettin' deployed after, probably for a couple of years-"
"Never Leonard." Jocelyn snarled. "Joanna's not yers anymore. Ya don't have any rights to her."
McCoy stiffened in protest. "She's my daughter-"
"No. Ya got any more questions talk to my lawyer."
Jocelyn closed the connection viscously and disappeared from view. McCoy let a single, violent tremor rack through his frame and he sighed miserably, burying his face in his hands. Silence lingered, Jim looking murderous, Cody with eyebrows quirked by worry lining her eyes and Cokata collected.
"Alright." Cokata rumbled cooly and spun the laptop around and typed in the communications code again waiting for a few minutes before a disgruntled Jocelyn accepted the communications, she looked like she was beginning an insulting tirade when her voice died at the sight of Cokata's form bent towards the screen.
"Jocelyn Dauphin? Hi, my name is Cokata Chicalato. I'm representing Doctor Leonard McCoy, yer ex-husband." Cokata rumbled with a sickly sweet smile and casual intelligence. "My client very recently requested he get the chance to have his duaghter with him over the holidays, which ya so rudely denied without basis and told him to talk to yer lawyer. So Miss Dauphin I'm goin' to need his information as we're filin' suit for visitation rights as we speak and I expect yer man is goin' to need the time for the deposition bright and early tomorrow mornin'."
The woman blinked in shock and confusion. "What?"
Cokata grinned like a wolf, his eyes flashing hard and predatory. "The number Miss Dauphin."
Jocelyn scrambled a little, mumbling out the number before Cokata politely thanked her and advised her to pack for cold weather. Once the communication connection was cut Cokata waved the scrap of paper he'd written on, crinkling it with that same wolfish grin.
"God, I could kiss ya on the mouth." McCoy rumbled,, looking up at the middle Chicalato in awe.
"C'mon, Caniwahu. Don't tease me, do it." Cokata puckered his lips comically and suggestively.
McCoy stared at him for a moment before lunging, grabbing Cokata roughly around the ears and jaw, yanking him forward and mashing their lips together roughly. Cokata went wide eyed for a second before he relaxed, eyes going soft and lips quirking under McCoy's.
Spock felt and eyebrow twitch.
Jim whooped suggestively and Cody smiled behind her hand, grey eyes bright.
With a soft snort McCoy pulled back, Cokata grinning.
"Damn Leonard. Give Soli a lesson some time soon will ya?" Cokata winked at the doctor and scooped up the PADD and laptop. "I'm goin' to hit it, file all this and wake up Judge Jake. Night all."
As he spoke Jim signed the middle child's words and Cody tilted her head, anticipating the light peck on her cheek she received from every male in her family on their departure from a room. Jim and McCoy waved him off as he rolled around the corner and down the hall.
"Doctor McCoy..." Spock started.
"Yeah?' He asked gruffly, quirking an eyebrow, Jim sniffed beside him.
Spock narrowed his eyes for a moment before glancing at Cody who shook her head marginally.
"It is not of import." Spock resigned. "I shall approach you with the question at a later time."
Cody dipped her head once in agreement and Jim huffed a laugh at Spock's shoulder.
"C'mon. Let's go work out." Jim nodded for him to follow and gathered jackets to bundle into on the way to the arena intending on leaving McCoy with Cody and cooling cups of coffee. Spock readily accepted his and started on Jim's heel's, hesitating marginally to look back.
The wooden chair under the doctor made a soft whine against the terra cotta tiles as McCoy moved from his place to Jim's vacated seat directly next to Cody, only one in the room McCoy had yet to make physical contact or acknowledgement of, Cody tilted her head towards him, eyebrows lifted in question and McCoy's hands lifted, normally nimble and sure, his large palms and fingers fumbled, stumbling to draw signs and words for Cody. Simple ones that Spock and Jim expressed with such swift fluidity that it was like listening to a man with a heavy speech impediment stutter through Standard.
It was only a short communication, a single string of signs but took three times as long for it to pass between them, McCoy having to pause and grasp for the signs before performing them. Spock can easily read the slightly garbled signs.
Haven't seen you in a while.
A simple thing really, but it quirked Cody's lips.
No. You haven't been sucked into a black hole.
McCoy made a soft, growled noise.
"Spock. C'mon." Jim reached out and lightly tugged on Spock's sleeve, pulling him out into the cold.
A/N: BONES!!! Bones is here! Yay! EeeEEeEeeeeeEeEee!
So it was a heavy chapter. ALOT happened all at once. Hope everything went over well. Anyway got some Vulcan AND Lakota here! So time for your lessons.
Vulcan Translation:
Vuhlkansu - Vulcan (person, language)
Pak t' yontaya-kan - loss of a child
wa' sa-fu - especially a son
kup of'kat veh olozhika - can break one's logic
veh dungi la'tusa na' hafayat t' veh ha'kiv - one will mourn for the remainder of one's life
ruhm fna' Kolinhar veh dungi tusa - even through Kolinhar one will weep
wa' ko-mekh - especially a mother
pak weht do veh shal - loss greater than one's self
S'ti th'laktra - I grieve with thee
Lakota Translation:
Caniwahu - Sawbones
Wacignunihehaka - Wandering Elk
Iyaelainila - Speaks in Silence
Miye ceye kici niye - I cry with you (but lets just say it's 'I grieve with thee' for dramatic purposes)
Mniohkateinyan - Water Under Stone
Petamato - Fire Bear
Wahacaka - Shield
Glietahawicate - Returned From Death
BONUS!!! Hey here are a couple recipes from this chapter.
Firehouse Flapjacks
1 Cup all-purpose Flour
1 Teaspoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Baking Powder
2 Tablespoon Sugar
1 Egg (Beaten)
1 Cup Milk
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1 Tablespoon Vegetable Oil (Or meat drippings)
Mix first four dry ingredients then stir in liquids and Egg. Beat until the batter is smooth. Batter should be about the consistency of thin honey. If necessary, add milk or water in small amounts to should be very hot. Test with a drop or two of water on the greased surface. The water should dance around while taking about one or two seconds to evaporate. Pour or ladle the batter on the hot griddle surface. When bubbles begin to quit rising (about 45 seconds) flip the flap-jack over and cook about another 30 seconds. Lightly grease griddle between each batch if necessary. Above receipt is enough for 3 servings or 1 hungry Firefighter.
Note: A firehouse Flap-jack should not fall apart when syrup and butter is added.
Recipe by Firefighter: Jim Noah Station #10 Ft. Worth Fire Dept
Mary's (yes MINE!) Pasta Primavera
Take One Bunch of Cut Up Fresh Broccoli
Diced Fresh Olives
One Cup Fresh sliced Mushrooms
One Sliced Zuccini
Diced Fresh Tomatos (can be substituted with diced canned tomatoes)
Add Garlic, Salt and Oregano to Taste
Place all vegitables in large pan with oil, saute lightly or until all veretables are tender. At the same time boil a second pot of water with a tsp of salt and olive oil. Once Boiling place 2 pounds of (any kind) noodles and cook them as directed on package. Drain Pasta when finished cooking and add it to a pasta bowl. Either mix sauce all ingredients together or serve pasta with sauce over top. Add shredded, chunked or grated cheese of choice at will.
Optional: Saute some shrimp in garlic and butter and add it to the finished product or Grill up some Bonless Chicken on the Grill then slice it thin and add it to the Pasta. This takes about 45 Minutes to prepare.
So let me know what you guys think. Of the chapters and/or the recipes. Much Love. Mary.
SP (as in Self-Promotion): I also uploaded the first chapter of my SUPERNATURAL/ STXI crossover Salt of the Earth. It is finished and I'll just upload the chapters every couple of days. There are only four chapters and it s not a part of the Native Sky series but check it out.
