Into The Shadow
By The Last Evenstar
A/N:
I'm quite sure that the world is conspiring against me. I go through all the trouble of borrowing a laptop to take to California, and what happens as soon as I try to turn it on? Yup, the battery dies. I'm not kidding. Regardless, I will do all I can to keep my promise and give you all one chapter a day for five days. Again, I apologize for my absence, and pray that I have not lost too many readers due to it.100 reviews! I'm overjoyed!
Journey Update:
Leaving Lothlórien through the Fields of CelebrantChapter Nine:
Namáarie, Meleth NinMelthainin Estel, mela en'coiamin,
I cannot find words to begin this letter with, for I know that no words can fully explain to you what I did and why I did it. I know that this may not be much, if any, consolation to you, but I could not leave you with no parting words.
For near to three thousand years a tarried, lost and alone, until by chance or destiny you walked into my life. The love I have known since, Estel, is the reasoning behind my rash action, for if you are not saved from this darkness there will be no future in which people may be free to love agai.
I love you, more than anything else in this world and beyond, so much that somewhere inside me I have always known that it was too good to be true. I have oft wondered what role I was destined to play in these games of malice and death, and finally I know the answer.
Mayhap I should be known in song or in legend as the elleth who gave herself to the Shadow for love of the King, yet I beg you not to hold my memory in your heart, lest my sacrifice should be for naught.
You will rise up to become a great king of men, for this is not the end. Over the Lost Realm you shall preside with honor and glory, and you shall need a Queen. It breaks my heart to do so, but I release you from your pledge of troth, so you may be free to love another.
I cannot go on, lest I should become too weak with sorrow to save you at all. Know only that for love of you I made the choice of Lúthien, and 'tis something that to this day I do not, and will never, regret. Both the sweet and the bitter have been mine, my Estel, but forever in my heart shall live the sweet, the times of love and of laughter that drew me out of darkness to know the meaning of love.
Namáarie, meleth nin,
Undómielle
[Your Evenstar]~~~~~~~
Galadriel sat by her Mirror, deep in contemplation. Whichever choice she makes shall decide the fate of the world as we know it, yet deep in my heart I fear that love for my granddaughter, my only living remembrance of dear Celebrían, has obscured my judgement too deeply.
She gazed into the crystalline surface and saw, reflected back at her, not the face of a great and powerful queen but that of one old and helpless. What am I to do? she prayed. Ai Elbereth, in my youth I was foolish enough to turn away from your counsel, but now in my hour of despair I call again with an open heart. Guide me, queen of the stars, so that the innocent lives which hang in your great balance will not be lost in vain!
She stared deep into the silvery depths of the Mirror, but it remained smooth and opaque, save for the single tear that fell from her face to mar its perfect surface.
The sound of footsteps told her that Celeborn approached. She turned to see him standing there, hesitant, with age and regret first appearing in his deep gray eyes. "She has gone."
Galadriel felt her heart skip a beat with fear for her beloved granddaughter. "Surely the border patrol will apprehend her."
Celeborn shook his head and came to sit beside her. "You know as well as I do that Haldir would not dare to stop her." He smiled wanly. "Our little Undómiel can be quite conniving when she needs to."
"Then get a message to him!" she cried. "Oh, Celeborn, is it not enough that I lost my daughter to this evil? Must it take Arwen too?" She buried her head in his shoulder, weeping.
The Lord of Lórien frowned sadly. "Meleth nin, in our lives we have seen so much misery and suffering come to pass for the greater good. Who is to say that she chooses rashly? Only time will tell."
She looked up forlornly. "Yet it is with the continual passing of time that my heart shall break."
He embraced her, knowing her lamentations only too well.
~~~~~~~
"Haldir, I command you to let me pass!"
The March Warden of Lórien look up reluctantly at the regal, imposing figure sitting astride the large gray horse. "Lady Arwen, I have it on good faith that you ride to your death for a mortal's cause. I am not letting you through!"
Her eyes flashed dangerously. "And who told you this? My brothers?"
He gulped. "Yes, my lady."
She narrowed her eyes. "Haldir, do you care about the fate of Middle-earth?"
"Not particularly, my lady." He cowered under her fierce expression. "I mean, of course I do!"
"And do you care that my leaving is the only way to save Aragorn, son of Arathorn, the heir of Isildur whose destiny it is to unite the peoples of Middle-earth in an attempt to conquer the Shadow once and for all?"
His expression was pained. "Lady Arwen, I've known you practically all your life. I've met this mortal man perhaps twice. Who would you have me care about?"
Tears sprang into her eyes unbidden. "Haldir, have you ever been in love?"
That caught him off-guard. He looked at the Evenstar astride her regal palfrey, more than traces of her old beauty shining through the Shadow that seemed to haunt her. He gulped. "Yes, my lady."
Her eyes softened. "And are you familiar with desperation when he who you love is in danger of death, and you would sell your very heart and soul to rescue him?"
"Well, my lady, I cannot say I have ever loved a 'he', but –"
"And have you never known the pain, the true pain that lets you know once and for all that this man is your world, the sole most important thing in your life, and that your heart has not mislead you after all but given you the priceless gift of a few short years knowing that you have experience true love?"
He felt his heart twist over. "Perhaps, my lady, perhaps."
A single tear made its way down her cheek. She spoke softly, all of her passion and enthusiasm disappearing. "Then will you let me pass?"
He looked down at his feet for a very long time. Finally, he lifted his head and said, "Yes."
~~~~~~~
She heard the heavy thumping noises echoing all around her, and it took her a moment to realize that they were not hoofbeats, but in fact the sound of her own heart, reverberating through the still forest. The thought of imminent death had heightened her senses so painfully that she seemed to see, hear, and feel every moment of being alive.
She felt a wetness on her cheeks, and only when she looked up at the azure sky did she realize it was not rain, but tears, that flowed softly and steadily from her eyes.
"Noro lim," she whispered, and rode on to face death, the face of her Estel bearing ever-present on her mind.
She stopped some ways outside Lothlórien when she saw the dark shape in the sky. As it drew nearer and nearer, the pangs of fear in her heart grew so large and so frequent that she felt she would keel over with sheer terror.
"Go," she whispered to the gray horse, slipping off. "Run and do not look back." The animal took off across the plains.
She looked up and saw the Ringwraith swooping down toward her. All instincts told her to run, but with a picture of him in her heart she instead looked skyward, trying desperately to quell her fear and fight against the want to take her last chance of turning back.
