"You ok?" asked Jack, as Harleen stood up and gathered her clothes from the floor. "Harley?" he asked, sitting up on the therapy couch. "You ok?" he repeated.
"I'm fine," she murmured, dressing slowly. "Better than fine, actually," she added, turning to smile at him.
"Good," he said, smiling back. "You just went kinda quiet, is all. I thought you might be regretting what we did."
"I'm not," she said, buttoning up her top. "I should be, but I'm not. I guess that makes me a bad person, but I don't feel guilty about what happened. Even though I technically took advantage of a patient…"
"Oh, is that what you did?" he chuckled. "Yeah, clearly I wasn't into it at all."
"You know what I mean," she retorted. "I'm meant to be a professional, and you're meant to be under my care."
"Well, I've got no complaints about my care," he chuckled. "I'd kill for a smoke, though."
"I'm sorry I don't have one," she said, putting her blonde hair back up in its usual bun.
"Of course you don't," he said, smiling at her. "You're a good girl who would never do a naughty thing like smoke."
"Mmm, I just did you, and you're pretty naughty," she retorted, planting a kiss on his lips. She tried to draw away, but he captured her lips with his own again.
"I've never felt this way before," he murmured in between kisses.
"It's called an afterglow, and it'll go away in a little while," retorted Harleen, grinning.
"Funny," he said. "But I'm serious. You know I'm crazy about you, right? Your looks, your smarts, your smile, your sense of humor, everything. I never thought…I'd ever feel this way about anyone."
He chuckled suddenly. "What's so funny?" she asked.
"Just…the guys say nothing I plan ever works out the way I say it will, and they're right again," he said, nodding. "My plan was to charm a shrink to help us bust outta here, and instead I end up falling in love with one so I don't ever wanna leave. That's quite the joke, when you think about it."
"Jack, we can't keep doing this," she said, the sensible part of her brain suddenly reasserting itself as she pushed herself away from him. "I mean, it was fun, and I loved it, but…I'm your doctor, and you're my patient. If we continue on like this, we could be caught, and I could lose my license. Becoming a shrink has meant everything to me, and I can't throw it all away now."
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because…then I'd be a failure…" she began.
"Like me," finished Jack.
"No, that's not what I meant," she said, hastily. "I just…don't know what else I'd do with my life. I'm having a hard enough time as it is finding a real job with shoplifting on my record – imagine how much harder it would be with something like gross misconduct with a patient. I'd never be able to work again…"
"And that thought is so much worse than your situation now, is it?" asked Jack. "Scraping out a living, wasting your talents on a minimum wage internship when you should be running this place?"
"I have to be smart…" she began.
"You are smart," he interrupted. "And so am I. But I'm happy, and you're not. Well, I hope you were a little while ago," he added with a grin. "But I can see you crawling back into your shell now, I can see your happiness dying as you try and cram yourself back into this role that people consider to be sane and sensible. It's not going to work, Harley. Sooner or later, you'll snap, because you're too smart to be wasting your life like this when you know you deserve better."
"And what would better be, with a criminal record?" she demanded.
"Well…you could come with me," he said, slowly. "You could be a criminal, with me…"
"I see," interrupted Harleen. "I could bust you outta here and we could be together forever, is that what you're saying? Because honestly, that sounds a lot like that little game you were playing about charming a shrink to help get you outta here."
"No, Harley, I'm not playing a game," he said, seizing her shoulders. "I just want you to stay with me. And if you're not happy here, we'll go somewhere else together, just the two of us. But I just want you to be happy – that's all I want anymore. I…never saw you smile, really smile, until just now," he said, touching her cheek. "And I wanna see that every day. I want that to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I see when I go to bed every night. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
"You are a very charming man, Jack Napier," she murmured, kissing him. "And I like you very much. But please understand that I can't sacrifice everything for you. That's not what a smart, strong, sensible, sane woman would do."
"So go crazy for me," he said, smiling at her. "That's what I've done for you."
"I can't," she said. "I can't just let go of my sanity like that, of everything I've worked so long and hard for. I can't let go of this job, however much I'd like to, because then…I'd have nothing left."
Jack nodded slowly. "I didn't realize I was nothing," he muttered.
"Jack, I didn't mean that," she said. "I just meant I'd be left with nothing to recommend me but a criminal record, and what sort of future can I expect with that? My life would be over."
"What sort of future do you expect now?" he asked. "Work as an intern for years until someone finally gives you a real job, but by that time you're in so much debt that it'll take you the rest of your life to pay it off? Wasting every day trying to help people who don't wanna help themselves because that's the only way you can scrape out a living? I think you're bound to be disappointed with a future like that."
"While my future with you, a criminal, would be all sunshine and roses, would it?" demanded Harleen. "Hiding from the cops, stealing to survive, hurting other people to sublimate our own hated of ourselves? It doesn't sound like freedom to me, or a future that would make me very happy."
He said nothing, but stood up slowly to get dressed. "Well, I'm…sorry this happened," he said, pulling on his clothes. "It won't happen again, if that's what you want."
"I didn't say that," she said. "And I didn't mean to hurt your feelings – I told you, I like you. And I liked…it. We just have to be very careful that we're not caught doing it."
"And that's all you want, is it?" he asked, rounding on her. "Forbidden, meaningless sex that we have to hide from everyone? You're the one using a dangerous thrill as a substitute for your own real emotional connection now."
"I can't have a real emotional connection with a patient," she snapped. "And we don't have to keep doing this if you didn't enjoy it, or if you're offended that I'm just using you for sex. But we can't have a deeper relationship than that, and I don't think you want that anyway. Do you?"
He said nothing. "You said you think I'm a bad girl," she murmured. "Well, this is something bad girls do, isn't it? It's so wrong and naughty that it has to be hidden from everyone, but it's just too irresistible to stop."
"I thought you said I wasn't that irresistible," he murmured.
"I'm not always right, you know," she replied. "Because if you were, and if I were completely sensible, I'd say that this was a mistake and that it has to stop right now. I'd get you transferred to another doctor so I'm not presented with the temptation again. But Harley really, really wants this to happen again. Doesn't Joker?" she asked, kissing him.
"Mmm, but don't get him all fired up when our time's almost over," said Jack, glancing at the clock. "Unless you're in the mood for a quickie."
"No, I told you, we have to be careful," she said, pulling away from him. "And that means not cutting things close like that. We have to have time to recover so we don't look flushed or like we've hurried to get dressed," she said, adjusting his collar. "We can't give anyone cause to suspect a thing."
She smoothed her hair back. "Do I look ok?" she asked.
"You look beautiful, Harley," he said.
"Dr. Quinzel," she corrected. "Nobody here calls me Harley, remember?"
"I remember," he said, nodding. "I'm not gonna blow this, Dr. Quinzel. Our secret's safe with me."
"Good," she said, smiling at him. "Then our secret should be safe."
She kissed him again. "I'll get the guard," she said, heading over to the door. "Have a good afternoon, Mr. Napier," she said, as the guard entered.
"You too, Dr. Quinzel," he said, gazing at her as he was dragged off. Harleen shut the door and headed back over to the therapy couch. She took a seat and shut her eyes, remembering her time with Jack. Remembering how he had felt, the electric thrill as their bodies connected and joined, his hands and mouth and tongue doing magical things to her body, things she had never experienced before from anyone...
A knock on the door interrupted her fantasies. "Come in," she said, standing up and hoping she wasn't blushing too much.
"How did things go today without the camera?" asked Dr. Leland, entering the room.
"Oh…they went fine," said Harleen, casually.
"I thought he might have tried to see how much he could get away with since he wasn't being recorded," said Dr. Leland. "He wasn't disrespectful to you?"
"Oh no, nothing like that," said Harleen, her brain recalling images of how respectful Jack had been, ensuring that she was satisfied multiple times before he finally was…she tried to repress these because she knew she'd be blushing involuntarily remembering them. "He's…not so difficult to handle," she finished.
"Well, I'm glad," said Dr. Leland, smiling. "I've gotta admit, you do seem to have a knack for difficult patients, Harleen. I should send Bronski over to you too and give Dr. Bartholomew that sabbatical he's been talking about."
"If you want," said Harleen, nodding.
"I think I do," said Dr. Leland. "Especially since I've just been authorized to raise your salary, and offer you a job as a permanent psychiatrist here. If you want it, of course."
Harleen stared at her, not believing her ears. "Y…yes, of course I want it," she stammered. "Thank you so much, Joan!" she exclaimed, hugging her. "How did you manage that?"
"Well, I proposed Dr. Bartholomew's sabbatical as a way of cutting the budget, and replacing him with you full-time," said Dr. Leland. "When you pitch these things as making good financial sense, the suits buy it."
"Thank you so much!" repeated Harleen. "Gosh, this has really been the best day of my life! This job, and…"
She trailed off, realizing that she had been about to blurt out about her and Jack.
"And?" prompted Dr. Leland.
"And…getting another patient in Mr. Bronski, of course," finished Harleen. "I'm betting he'll be a real challenge."
"Yeah, good luck," agreed Dr. Leland, heading for the door. "Oh, and one more thing – the DA's office wants to know if you're recommending Miss Kyle to be released from her house arrest. Do you believe she's cured of her kleptomania?"
"I do," said Harleen, nodding. "She seems sincere in her reformation to me."
"I'll pass that along," said Dr. Leland. "Congratulations again, Harleen. I hope you'll celebrate tonight with someone special."
"Not tonight…but maybe tomorrow," murmured Harleen with a grin as the door shut.
