Jackie sat on the basement couch, like she had done a million times before. Hyde had gone to Grooves for a few hours to check on things. He didn't want to leave her; he had barely left her side in the day or so she had been back. In the basement, watching TV on the couch. Except now, while she sat there, she couldn't help thinking that she should be grateful for being alive to be there. Sitting on, what she used to refer to as a smelly, old couch. And what she couldn't help thinking of now, as the largest piece of furniture in some of her happiest memories.
She was grateful to be alive, but still got scared. What would happen if she & Steven had a fight? That part was inevitable. Would they break up? Would she still feel so miserable that she tried suicide again? Would he talk to her before things got out of control?
She figured that talking was the only way to solve anything. Now it was just a matter of whether or not he would listen. Steven didn't like talking about his feelings. No, it was more like he didn't know how to talk about his feelings. He'd gotten better at it, but it was difficult just the same.
Jackie smirked to herself, "like you're any better at communicating your feelings." Instead of talking to those who cared about her, she swallowed 60 pills to end the pain. "So much for being a great communicator."
But in fairness to them both, since her hospitalization, they had both been doing better communicating. Steven has been so attentive, she thought. So worried, so loving. It sucked that it took something like this to bring out the nurturing side of him. And they had both started having those difficult conversations with each other. About Chicago. About Sam. About her suicide attempt.
Sometimes the conversations just went in circles….
"I didn't sleep with Michael"
"I know that now"
"So why didn't you stay"
"I was angry, so I left"
"Well, you shouldn't have"
"And you shouldn't have left without hearing my answer to your ultimatum"
They were both guilty on all charges with that one.
"I know why you stayed married to Sam. You didn't want to be like Bud. You wanted to be the 'honorable' guy who did the right thing. But after she was gone, why didn't you try?"
"I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want me to be hurt anymore. And I'd been such an ass, I was too afraid to try to get you back. Everything hurt."
"You knew I still loved you"
"I didn't know anything at that point. You thought you were hung up on Fez. And I couldn't see you caring about me after everything that I'd done. I really didn't know how you still felt until I read your note."
So as Jackie sat there, deep in her own self-analysis while watching program after program run by, she realized something.
She & Steven could have gone the rest of their lives without knowing how the other one felt about each other. And that was something that could never happen again.
"Hey" Hyde came in through the basement door. "How have things been?"
Jackie jumped up and ran into Hyde's arms "Baby, I love you" as a tear came down her cheek.
"Hey, doll….what's the matter?"
"I was thinking, about that we could have spent the rest of our lives being miserable, all because we….were scared and couldn't tell each other how we felt. How we still feel."
"I know. I know" Hyde smoothed the back of her hair and kissed her lips gently. "We almost lost each other. Forever. And I'd never forgive myself for losing you."
"No matter what, I'm never giving up on us again."
"No matter what, I'm never giving up on us again. Either."
Hyde pulled Jackie tight against his chest. He could feel her breathe (a feeling he never got tired of), and he could hear her crying as he rubbed her back. "Please don't cry, Jackie"
Jackie pulled away from Hyde's tight embrace, knowing that he never could stand to see her upset. Except this time, they were happy tears.
"I need you. I can't imagine my life without you. I love you."
Hyde never claimed to understand women. And he wasn't sure that he'd ever COMPLETELY understand how the female mind works. Happy tears, what the hell was that about? But he was pretty sure, he'd never hear sweeter words in his lifetime.
"Jackie, if I've learned one thing from the past year or so, is that you are everything to me. I can't function without you. And I'll spend the rest of my life making the past up to you."
"No."
"No?"
"You can spend the rest of your life making me as happy as you've made me right now. But we have to let go of the guilt. The pain. From Chicago, from Sam, from my suicide attempt…." Her voice trailed off a bit. She didn't like saying that word very much. But they had to start healing. "We can't forget, because if we forget we can't learn from what happened. But we can't keep reliving it either. We'll just keep going around in circles."
Hyde just looked at Jackie. Dumbstruck. When the hell did she get so damn smart? He pulled her back to him and attacked her mouth with kisses, then moving on to her neck. Oh God, had he missed this. He looked at her eyes. Those beautiful, mismatched eyes.
Hyde took Jackie by the hand and pulled her back to his room. Red & Kitty were still at work and Eric was somewhere off with Donna. And he needed to be with Jackie. Completely with her.
He locked the door behind them, and looked at her with so much love, Jackie thought she was going to burst. They hadn't really done anything, some making out, but they hadn't had sex since she had gotten out of the hospital. And they both needed this. Physical had NEVER been a problem for them. But emotionally, they knew they should wait. Until the time was right. And things had never been as right as they were right now.
The first kiss melted into another kiss, as their tongues explored each other's mouths. As the passion grew between them, the space between them became non-existent. Slowly, they moved as one towards the tiny cot in Hyde's room.
Hyde gingerly took off Jackie's platform heels, loving every minute of seeing her pink toenails. Jackie looked at him with a devilish smile, beckoning him to close the gap between them. He pulled off his boots in two seconds flat, judging by how far they flew across the room.
She grabbed his T-shirt, and pulled him closer to her. As he began kissing her neck and gently biting her ear lobe, she had never been on such a high. He was intoxicating. And she needed more. More of him.
The next morning…..
Hyde awoke after a brief nap to Jackie, nuzzled up against him. They had made the most of their time alone together. All four times, Hyde thought to himself with a grin reminiscent of a Cheshire cat. They hadn't gotten much sleep, and he did not care.
He wasn't going to move. He wasn't going to bother with anything. Just being there, with strawberry scented hair sprawled across his shoulder & bicep. He drank in the aroma that was still present. Jackie began to stir, and pulled him tighter to her.
"Mmmm…Hi"
"Hi yourself." He gave her lips a gentle kiss. She was still an acrobat in the bedroom and HAD to be sore today after the previous night. "How do you feel?"
Jackie gave him a deliciously wicked smile. "Very, very happy…couldn't you tell?"
"Didn't want to sound like a jerk, but oh, hell yeah. I just wanted to make sure you weren't too sore. We might have to do a repeat performance later."
"Repeats are always good. That way you get to experience the best parts more than once."
They leaned into each other for a searing but delicate kiss.
"Steven"
"yeah, baby?"
"I'm hungry"
"Me too" He leaned in closer to give some attention to her beautiful neck.
Jackie let out a giggle and a squeal of delight as Hyde gently nipped at various places on her neck. "I know….but we need to eat….food"
"I know, come on, we'll raid the fridge upstairs and then pick up a couple of things for tonight."
As the lovers sat up on the tiny cot, they couldn't help laughing at the clothing strewn about the tiny room. It honestly was spread from one end of the tiny room to the next. They playfully chased each other, looking for various items that had ended up in very strange spots. Jackie found her bra dangling by some cement blocks near the outside wall and Hyde's socks had ended up attached to the furnace vent.
After getting cleaned up and dressed, they headed upstairs to see what they could grab quickly, before the need to be together again was too great. They hadn't eaten anything last night because they were too distracted being together.
Jackie & Hyde put together a couple of plates for themselves to eat and moved over to the table. Just as Jackie was about to sit down next to Hyde, he pulled her unto his lap and passionately kissed her.
"You're all mine" he growled as they came up for air.
"Yes I am…and you're all mine"
"Finally" They started kissing again and only stopped when they heard the screen door open to Eric's (still girlish) shriek.
"Good God, you two"
"Good stuff man, can't keep my hands off of her" Hyde leaned back in the chair, and kept running his hands on Jackie's thighs while she started eating.
"As long as you're not putting anything else on her while you're sitting there, we'll be okay. Mom & Red still can't get over me & Donna getting it on right there."
"Yeah, that was pretty sweet"
"Where's Donna, Eric?" Jackie asked in between bites.
"She's on her way. Bob had to finish his little speech about why he shouldn't be finding me in her bed every morning."
"Have you ever not gotten caught by him over there?"
"Don't think so. What are you two lovebirds up to today?"
"Oh, I think we'll have plenty of things we're up to today. But first I have to stop by Grooves for a sec. See what they've done to screw things up."
"And I was thinking of having Donna show me around Point Place junior college today. There's a couple of classes I was thinking about taking."
Hyde looked at his tiny doll. "Really?"
"Yeah, I think so. Some fashion merchandising & design classes. I might as well stick to what I know and am good at." Jackie sheepishly looked at Hyde. They hadn't discussed her future career plans, so she wasn't entirely sure what his reaction would be.
"I think that's perfect." Hyde was so proud of her.
"And you can go to work when I'm at class and then we can come home and talk about our day." Jackie was really starting to get excited.
"You can talk, I'm going to watch you bounce around."
"Does everything with you two come back to sex?" Eric asked.
"Pretty much" "What do you expect?"
"I'll leave you two to your breakfast; I think my work here is done for a while." With that, Eric turned and left the kitchen, to head upstairs. It was good to see them so happy together.
"You really think that's perfect. I mean, we didn't really talk much about plans, we talked about some ideas, but I wanted to be sure this was something I could do first."
"Yeah, I do. Doll, you don't have to ask my permission to go to school. We talked about you going to school instead of work and I think that's something you need to do for yourself. Something you'll enjoy."
"Oh, Steven"
"And I want to hear about your day too. I want to be part of your whole life. But I'm still watching you bounce around" He smirked.
"I'll even model my designs for you personally." Jackie leaned in to give Hyde a huge kiss.
"You better."
Hyde & Jackie finished their breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen quickly. By the time Donna arrived, Jackie was giddy with ideas. It was so good to hear her talk about something that made her happy, Hyde thought.
Just before the girls took off for the college, Hyde gave Jackie a delicate kiss. She hugged him, seeming knowing what he was thinking, and whispered in his ear.
"And you make me the happiest of all"
Hyde knew the grin he had on before was back and Grooves wasn't going to be the only stop he made that day.
