Scream Until Your Heart Stops

Poor Reno. Tell me what you think about the poor boy, kay?

Chapter 9 - Loss of Hope and Faith

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A Plea From Reno

--

I-I'm not alone. I can't stand to be alone. So, he couldn't have left me alone. He's my brother. He ... He knows. He knows how much I hate it when he leaves. After everything ... He's gone. I'm laying here in the dark, scared shitless, and he's not here. Why not?

"God damn Axel and his god damn boyfriend and his god damn friends."

I don't even care that Roxas is like a brother to me at the moment. I just want to be near someone. I want to have someone to hold, to hold me. Is that really too unrealistic? The city burns and I'm stuck on my own.

My friends all joined the war so my only hope is Axel.

"Why aren't you here, Axe?" I whimper into the dark, fisting the blankets that are drawn to my chin. I'm so tempted to reach out and turn the lamp on, but that one movement seems so ... cowardly. Like if I turn on the light, everything will come crawling from the walls laughing at my weakness. So I roll onto my side, facing away from the window.

"What am I even worrying about? It's not like I'm in any danger."

Distant screams chill my bones. "Axel, hurry back. Please." Whistles ring in my ears. "Axel, please." A tear rolls down over my cheek as the finality of the moment dawns. "Why did you leave me alone? I don't want to be alone. Axel, I'm gonna die." Orange light explodes through the room. "You chose Rox over me." Heat radiates from the light.

"Axel. Goodbye."

The house splinters and crashes around me. A single beam cracks through the ceiling, falling across my ribs. I cry out before feeling the true heat. I feel it lashing out, marring my body with its whip-like tongue. My own screams echo around in the chaos, mingling in with all of the others lost.

--

The younger blonde was the first to wake, shocked to find himself locked in Axel's embrace. The elder teen had his nose pressed firmly into the crook of his boyfriend's neck, trying to hide himself from the world beyond the walls that shielded them. When Roxas shifted, attempting to remove himself from the embrace, Axel stirred, a small moan dusting his lips. It was obvious when his eyes fluttered that he had not slept well.

"I-I looked, Rox. I looked."

Demyx and Zexion both began to wake at the sound of the redhead's hush. Tears rushed from Axel's eyes and he buried his face still deeper into Roxas' soft neck.

"W-We should go see, shouldn't we? What if ..."

"No. I-It's too late. He's gone. He's gone." Seeing that everyone was up, Axel began to wail. "Reno! Ugh. I can't believe it."

Zexion held his "I-told-you-so", finding that moment not the best to spring it on the grieving redhead. Roxas held him as Demyx rubbed his back in what he hoped to be comforting circles. The slate-haired teen slipped from his position of almost falling off the end of the bed to go out through the door to the roof once more.

Southern Twilight was in shambles. "No hope."

"You can't say that, Zex. Please, don't say that. It seems so final. There is always that one little spark." Demyx moved out beside his best friend, taking his hand as that was just the type of person Demyx was. He needed to know that someone was there for him.

"Did you ... hope ... I was alright?"

Demyx let his lips move into a smirk and turned to look at the dark-eyed teen. "Nah. I didn't hope. Because if I hoped ... it would mean that something was wrong. I believed you would be fine. I had faith."

"Is that not what hope is? Faith?"

"No, silly. Hope ... is when you wish for something to happen. Faith is when you know it will happen."

"So, you're telling me to have faith in Reno's safety?"

Demyx started, cringing at the reality of those words. Slowly, he shook his head. "He would have been here by now."

"No! No! He's alright! He has to be! Maybe he was just ... trapped! Or, went somewhere else! C'mon! We have to go find him!"

"A-Axel ..."

"No, Rox. The last thing he said to me," the redhead tore out as he joined the two on the roof, Roxas right behind him, still gripping his arm to hold him inside. "Was that he didn't want to be alone! He was scared! Roxas, I left my brother to ... to d-die...." The words flowed from the redhead's mouth and he drowned under their pressure. The fact that Reno was gone burned him so deeply, so completely that he fell to his knees, shrugging off the ice-cold touches of those that just wanted to help. "He's gone. H-he's ..."

"Demyx and I shall go investigate. We shall give you closure."

"Closure? What the fuck does closure mean to me, Zexion? My brother is dead. All you lost is your house. You still have Demyx. You have your Mom. You have a place to stay. You're set. You didn't lose anything of any importance."

Axel glowered at the slate-haired teen, shaking, looking as though he wanted to just take Zexion by the neck and strangle him. "Axel." His name was a sob from angelic lips. "Don't do this. Please." Roxas was at his side, kneeling while he forced his arm round to grip Axel close to himself. Zexion returned Axel's glare, but turned before the redhead could take his desired swing and gripped the elder blonde's forearm to drag him away.

"Where does he get off on talking all high and mighty? Reno's dead, Rox. And I bet'cha he died hating me."

Demyx cringed at the tone he could still hear in his best friend's voice. They walked in silence until stumbling on the rubble of once-proud houses. Zexion eyed up the wreckage before turning to the blonde. "Demyx, tell me. Do you still hope that Reno lives?"

Demyx forced a small smile, more to gather his courage to face the horror rather than confronting the elder teen. "Of course. What type of person wouldn't? I'll hope and hope until we've made sure."

"How can you always be so optimistic at the most crucial moments where everyone is breaking around you? I have yet to watch you fall apart and lose hope."

"Let's hope that never happens, either! What would you guys be without me? But, I don't wanna be a sourpuss like you, so I have to stay optimistic."

The elder teen felt a flare of admiration burn in his abdomen. "Demyx..."

"Now, c'mon! How would you like it if you were stuck after all this time? Reno, we're comin' to find ya'!"

The blonde laughed to try and lighten the mood and to cover his own loss of faith. After seeing the destruction, he clued in to the fact that no one could have survived something like that. Miniature infernos still lit up the already bright stone and wood and wreckage.

Zexion found himself pulled down what used to be streets, but now where so littered with rubble that they couldn't possibly be different from the shattered houses. They came to what Demyx believed was Axel's house and the blonde took a tentative step through the still standing front door. It was all that was left. Just the frame of a burnt away door. No more couch that the four had once been sprawled across watching television. No more hall that led to the bedrooms. No more kitchen that Axel had once almost caught on fire while he was making pancakes. No more really soft carpet that Demyx used to snuggle up on, claiming it to be far more comfortable than the couch, but never being able to convince his friends of this fact. No more large painting hanging above the television that had amused and intrigued the slate-haired teen every time he gazed upon it.

But worst of all ... No more Reno.

No possible way that Reno would have been alive there. But still, they had to hope. They had to cling to that last shred of hope and pray for the redhead's safety.

"Z-Zexion ... I-I ... can't hope anymore."

The addressed teen spun to face the one addressing him. Demyx had ventured towards the room he had once known to be that of the younger brother. "What makes you say this?"

The blonde was next to what might possibly have been a bed that had been snapped in two by a falling timber. Blackened sticks and rocks littered the bed. The only non-obsidian object was held in between Demyx's fingers. "Reno's watch. He never goes anywhere without it."

"Where was it?"

"B-Beside ... "Demyx gulped back the tears as he backed away, horror written all over his features. "Beside his body." He turned to run, crashing into his slate-haired elder who wrapped slender arms around him to steady the sobs.

"You're okay. Shh, it's okay. I've got you. Come on. We have to get out of here. Please, God, let us get out of here."

Zexion forced the blonde into motion, dragging him from the ruins. "It'll be fine, Dem. I've got you."

Did he really? Could he really support them much longer, both mentally and physically? All he wanted to do was go curl up in his own bed with his own mug of his own special hot chocolate while he reread his own signed copy of Reckoning with his own lamp flooding the pages with their light. He wanted to be home.

Even if he could be curled up with Demyx in his bed while the blonde calmed from a nightmare. He would be home. Safe. Not lost in the middle of a war.

"Z-Zexion."

That whimper brought him from his delusions. It was then that he realized tears were forcing their way down his cheeks, that he was being supported by Demyx. That he had failed.

"I-I guess ... I've lost hope too."

--

A Letter From Cloud

--

"So, now you know my side. Do I get to hear yours?"

I feel the last of my tears roll over my cheeks and onto his exposed chest. "There isn't anything left to say."

"What were your friends like? Family?"

He looks away, avoiding my prying eye. "I'd rather not talk about it. I want ... to forget all that."

"But, what's living if you forget everything you hold dear?"

"What's living if you have nothing to hold dear?"

I feel the heat rise in my chest as something clenches my heart. "So, you have no reason to live?"

"I- ... Oh. Um, I didn't mean it like that! I-I'm sorry, Cloud!"

"It's alright," I lie. "What about 'Squall'? Tell me about that."

Again, he averts his eyes. Slightly annoyed, I slip from his embrace and cup his chin in my hand, forcing his eyes on me. "You should just tell me if you aren't ready. We've known each other for a good time now, we've made out, had sex, but, I guess ... It's up to you how much I get to know about the one I love."

"C-Cloud ..." he gapes as I smirk.

"You ... mean more to me. You make me feel so much more than what she did for me. You make me ... whole. You understand me. Let me understand you, too."

"Cloud." His voice is so filled with sorrow it tears at my chest. I press my lips to his in reassurance. He pulls me closer, lacing his arms around my bare back. "I-I ... I want to tell you. God, Cloud, I want to tell you everything."

"Then why don't you?"

"You'd hate me."

"Can you honestly see me hating you? Leon, right now, you're what is keeping me going. I'd be dead ten times over if you didn't come in and save my butt."

"You'd be surprised how easily you could hate me."

"Don't tell me how to feel."

I nip at his lower lip, causing him to let out a low groan. "Can I tell you how you make me feel?"

A hiss escapes my lips, long and low as he grips my hips, pulling them down on his own. "Once you tell me ... what I want to know. Satisfy my mind before my body."

"Mmm, but I would rather do the latter."

I sit back, squirming away from him. "You're a horny bastard."

"Told you that you could hate me."

"Being grumpy and hating your guts are completely different."

Roxas crows softly behind me and I jump, completely forgetting the bird was there. With a yelp, I crash back into the brunette. "Okay, so, you're a pervert now too?!"

"C'mon babe, lighten up."

"I want to hear your story. Once I do, you can do whatever you want."

"Mmm," Leon licks his lips, trying to seduce me. "That sounds really tempting."

"Well?"

A sigh. "God, Cloud. You really are persistent, aren't you?" I nod, brushing my lips against his once more. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"I want to know about 'Squall'" I hate the fact that just mentioning the name causes him to cringe. "You talk while I take away the pain?"

He moans, nodding.

-

To Be Continued

-

Is it sad that I just realized how perfectly Leon and Cloud fit. Leon is 'Squall', right? Well, a squall can be a type of storm. In a storm, there are Clouds. They fit wonderfully. Sorry for the slightly in depth stuff about faith and hope but I think I was feeling crappy that day. -sadface- But, yeah, tell me what you think, okay? I would love to hear from you!

Never gonna regret, watching every sunset, listen to your heartbeat - Rooftops

The Lost Prophets

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost it's empty and cold without you here. - Seize the day

Aevenged Sevenfold

~xbuttonsx~