Author's Note: I am changing this rating to M so I just wanted to give everyone a warning (but I am definitely not saying there won't be any sex scenes later if that is what viewers want). Sorry this story just suddenly turned depressing… Anyway, I won't put another note at the end, so enjoy!


HERE TO STAY

PART 1: Change


Chapter 8

TOBIAS

Orange and pink streaks had begun to light up the sky, signaling that once again, the sun was about to go hide behind the horizon. It had taken them a while—two hours of walking to be exact—to get to the surprise Tobias had been mentioning. Partly because Tris had to walk blindfolded which dampened how fast they could go, but mainly because, it was a hard place to get to.

They were now standing in front the biggest Ferris wheel he had ever laid his eyes on. It was white and he could see rust snaking its way up the heavy metal rods. Scrapes and small breaks travelled up the metal as far as the eye could see and beyond. It was no way in condition to be ridden, which was why there was a warning sign and metal bolted chains surrounding the area. The big blazing orange rectangular post read, 'Safety hazard. Please do not enter.' He avoided the actual wheel; he didn't intend to ride it—he didn't actually have a death wish—he was more interested in what was behind it.

Whilst still holding onto Tris' hand, he navigated his way in and out of the Ferris wheel, entering one side and coming out the other completely unscathed. This was the easiest way to get to the secret location, that didn't actually involve real trespassing. Besides, he had done before and it was totally safe. (Granted, it was by accident this morning. And truth was, he was just making it up as he went. In reality, he knew nothing about this place.)

She gripped onto his hand tighter when they heard sounds of drilling and construction works nearby. Tris pulled herself closer to his body; and he could feel the heat flushing to every single part she touched. Beneath her fingers, he could feel his blood rushing but he looked away, trying to resisting the urge to hold her close. Trying to ignore the unstable feeling, he continued to lead her the rest of the way there. Tobias made double sure to not let Tris fall. (One, because he would have to listen to her whine about it for the next few hours. Two, he didn't want to see her hurt.) So, his fingers coiled around hers more tightly.

"Almost there." He consoled her.

He could hear her rapid breathing. Her lips were so close to his ear that he could feel each moist breath she took and each cool exhale that left. This made him shiver slightly.

"And..." He drew it out in suspense, "we're here!" His voice was bursting with excitement. Tris herself began to jiggle with nerves, waiting impatiently as Tobias struggled with the blind folds.

"Hurry up!" She snapped, "I want to see where we are." Her feet danced under her and her fingers twitched with nerves.

He slowly and purposely took the blindfold off painfully slow, making her huff out in anger. He chuckled when he saw her pout. Once the blindfold was off and her eyes began to re-adjust to the different lighting, she opened her mouth in amazement. "Wow." She mumbled, "this is beautiful Tobias." This was a little more gentle.

They were now standing on the rooftop of a twenty story building that overlooked the coast. From here, she could see a clear view of the horizon and the lights that lit up the town. It was all so breath taking and a little exhilarating. Tris could see as far as the airport; the small flickering dots of the runway and she could even see her motel room clearly from where she was standing. Christina was obviously back at the room. The flashing lights that reflected off the window pane suggested that she was having a party. However, the dancing bodies that could be seen through the sheer curtains definitely made it clear that there was a rager on. Tris giggled to herself, glad that Christina got to have her own fun too tonight.

"What do you think?"

Tobias was now standing next to her and Tris could feel her cheeks starting to heat up. She tried to keep her stare straight ahead but she could feel it wavering. As if, like the very first time they met, something was making her look at him. She turned to face him and their eyes met. They locked on to each other, afraid to look away. The moment was like nothing she had ever felt before; there was mystery, warmth, fire and passion. It was strange and odd... But she found it comforting.

"I think it's beyond words. Nothing can ever describe this..." She whispered. Her words felt like they were floating on clouds. Her words felt weightless and she did too.

"It's quite the beauty isn't it?" He replied, "actually stumbled onto this by accident. Was going for a run this morning—and didn't know when to stop—so I found myself here. Climbed up to the top to get a good look at where I was. That didn't turn out so well but nonetheless, we're here. Aren't we?" He gestured to everything around them; the metal bars that their hands rested upon, the beautiful scenery and town they had just come from and of course, the clear night sky.

"Yes we are." She closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. "And I'm glad I got to share this with you."

"Me too." He replied and he meant it. He would not trade this moment for anything.

...

The night had sprung upon them, but neither made any move to leave. They had spent the last couple hours speaking about menial things; hobbies, interests, family members and the sort. It was small chit chat but only the beginning of a much deeper friendship.

When he looked over at her, she was perched on the ledge, her arms stretching out beyond. He watched as her eyes sparkled with pure happiness. She was staring up at the night sky, her arms above her head as if she was reaching for the heavens. She gleamed with beauty and radiance. He would never forget the way she smiled contently as she gazed into the stars. He had never seen someone so taken by something, it was a captivating sight -one to remember.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" She whispered, slowly lowering her back into the grass. "I hadn't noticed they were so bright tonight."

Tobias made himself comfortable next to her but remained silent.

"I always make an effort to look up at the stars each night. It's a constant reminder that while everything else on Earth is rotten and evil, there is something that is still beautiful and pure in my life." She blinked, but her gaze never shifted. "I wonder what it would be like if I died. Would I not feel anything at all? Or would I just fade out of existence?" She asked but she seemed to only be looking for an answer within herself. "When I die, I hope to become one of those." She pointed at the stars, "I want to rest in a place where everything is not spoiled. I want to remain pure and happy." There was silence, "But I know I won't be. I'm already defective."

It was the first time he ever heard such a thing from, well, anybody. Normally people denied speaking about the afterlife, simply because they knew they would never end up happy after this life. But she was in no way like the others; the way she spoke about dying was different. It was almost as if she was embracing death and greeting it like it was a friend. While she talked about the stars and their eternal happiness, there was a depressing undertone to her words. And it shook Tobias to the core.

"Well it's my belief that when you do die, you'll get to choose who or what you'll be. I know I have probably lived a thousand lives, but I don't think I could bare to live another one. Not after what I've witnessed in the world. This world is far too gone to be saved." Shivers raced down his spine and he looked at her quizzically.

"Not everything in this world is destructive Tris. Humanity, us, we have the opportunity to achieve greatness. In the past, we have lacked a great leader. But when we do find one, one that can inspire goodness and equality, we will not all be terrible beings." He spoke softly, "But right now, not all of us are the horrid creatures you make us out to be. There are some good ones out there, like you."

"I'm in no way good." She whispered, "I'm broken and impure. There's nothing in me that's good." She replied a little louder.

"Everything I see in you is good, Tris. You have this way of seeing beauty in everything, so why can't you do that to yourself." He breathed, "Why can't you see the beauty in yourself the way I can see it?"

"You think I'm beautiful?" She asked surprised.

"I think you're all sorts beautiful Tris. You're wonderful, you're amazingly talented, you're the embodiment of everything that is good in the world." He mumbled under his breath, "I only wish that you can see it too."

"I wish I can see it too because all I can see now is a cracked shell and a broken inside."

"Maybe you've got to look harder." He insisted, "or maybe you're too stubborn to see that you're beautiful to everyone but yourself."

"Maybe." And that was all she said.