I'm SO sorry for not posting on Monday, my Dauntless Muffins, but the flu hit me with a cannon ball and I slept throughout the day. It's so strange waking up thinking it is Monday, only to hear that it is already Tuesday morning O_o. Anyway, here's the next chapter! Enjoy and review to make poor little me very happy! xox


DARCY

"You shouldn't have done that." I pick a pillow up and toss it at Melanie's face.

"I'm sorry." She follows me as I step onto the next bed and throw that pillow at her too. "I always make them like that–I hadn't considered you would've never tried one before."

I look down at her as I step onto the next bed and pick up the pillow. "I embarrassed myself, I hope you're proud. I made a right fool of myself in front of Riley." She catches this pillow. "And now he probably thinks I'm total flake." My voice is too wispy for the emotional chaos I'm trying to convey. I'm all…. woo-ey… I sigh and turn to Melanie. "You're pretty and right now I just wanna…. wanna… eat something…"

She smiles up at me and starts laughing. "So you're not mad?"

"I… obviously can't conjure up that emotion right now, thanks to you." I blink slowly, "So I guess you're safe."

I turn and step onto my bed and flop down to bury myself under my blanket. I hear the door open.

"Give us a minute, Mel." Riley says. I pull my blanket tighter around my shoulders and glare at the wall. I'm so stupid. God. Just hearing him talk reminds me of how stupid I am. I hear Melanie leave and I become acutely aware of Riley's proximity when he sighs. He's standing at the edge of the bed.

"Darcy, turn and face me."

"No thank you." I mumble.

"Wasn't a suggestion."

I sit up and look at him, "What do you want?" I smile, why am I smiling? "To tell me I'm a gigantic fool? I don't need you to tell me anything. I said I was sorry. It won't happen again." The pain spreads down my arms and into my hands. I hate looking at him. "I hate looking at you." Fuck. I cover my mouth and look up at him. I'm still high. "I'm sorry. I mean.. I don't hate…" I sigh heavily and fall back to my pillow. "Just go away!" I hug my pillow dramatically and hear him laughing. "Stop laughing at me you handsome, bearded man."

His laugh deepens and I bury my face into my pillow. I get to my feet and press my pillow to his face. "Stop. Laughing." I say as soberly and calmly as I can.

"I think you need some fresh air," he mumbles into my pillow and wraps his arm around my waist. My pillow falls from my hands as he pulls me over his shoulder. And it's like I'm under some kind of Melanie brownie spell. I become docile at the scent of his…cologne? I hand limply and stare my hair hanging down. It sways back and forth as he walks. I don't particularly care where we're going. Swish, swish goes my hair. Hmm...


As I come back down to reality I realize I'm staring at Riley's face. I look around and can see over the city out into a darkened horizon. We are on a rooftop. "Why are we up here?" I ask quietly as I am munching on salty chips. Shit. These are good.

"To get you some fresh air," Riley says as he pulls a cigarette out and places it between his lips. I recognize my lighter as he strikes it and lights his cigarette. Smoke billows out from his lips in a tantalizing curl and I look away, back to the decrepit shadows of the city.

"You refilled it," I mumble.

"Yep."

"Can I see it?" I ask, glancing back at him. His eyes slide to mine and I don't try to put on a mask of innocence. He holds it out and I wipe my hands on my pants. His rough fingers place the lighter in my hand. I run my thumb over my name and turn it over a couple times, feeling the cold metal. Lift it to my ear and shake it gently to listen to the fluid inside. I hand it back to Riley.

"Why is this thing so important to you?" He whispers.

I shrug. "I'll tell you some other time." I look up at him. "Just don't lose it."

"That's it, you're not going to beg for it back?" He asks. I take a good look at him. A long look, "What?"

I've never been high. I've never felt this way. So I've never felt compelled to be honest and forthright with anyone before, "You have kind eyes and they are heavy on mine," I whisper, they make my feet be still. But not my heart. His beard is thick but not long. I can see glints of dark red in the auburn of it, like flecks of rubies when he turns his head toward me and the roof light shines on his face; casting half of it in a shadow as he exhales smoke through his nose. The hair on his head is darker. The hardened look on his face is only softened by his eyes. "They are like the sky, but only on certain days when the sun is coming up and it is burning off the overcast." And in every aspect his gaze is like that too; hot and cold at the same time. I blink slowly realizing I'm actually fucking saying some of this. "No, I will not be begging for it back. I trust you to take care of it." I decide I shouldn't be so close to him and slide myself off of the metal utility box. look up at him again.

"That was very poetic for a pyromaniac." I watch the glow at the end of the cigarette between his lips.

"Well, I'm still high so…" I scratch at my eyebrow then smooth it with my fingertips.

"You should write some poetry." He says, I press my lips into a line and shake my head, "No?"

"I was told once, you should never invest your time in something that can be burned so easily." My mind wanders back to my lighter in his pocket. "There's nothing I want to write about, anyways. It's a waste of time. And who's to say we even have enough of that. My god, I'm getting all… deep." I drag a hand down my face.

Riley smiles, "You'll be fine."

"Of course I'll be fine." I mumble. I look back up at him and he's staring at me like he's expecting some deep secret to pour from my lips and for some reason I just start talking. I don't know what it is about him, I just want to tell him everything. "I'm a hard worker, you know. Just because I'm…" I look down at the tracking device on my ankle. "a troubled youth." I say carefully, "Doesn't mean I won't go the extra mile. My father always said work hard, play hard. So I did. I worked hard. But no one remembers a perfectly graded student when you set the courtyard on fire. I still work hard, but no one likes the way I play." I shake my head as I've started pacing back and forth in front of him.

"So why do you lie?" Riley asks.

"Why does anyone lie?" I turn in a full circle, looking out at the darkness then back to Riley, "When I lie it's only because it's more beneficial than the truth." I shrug, "Now I admit, I have developed a habit of it and my lies feel like truths. But if I keep saying the same thing every day like 'see you later' and then you don't ever see me again… you won't hold it against me for not showing up. For never showing up. You won't think badly of me for leaving and I won't think badly of anyone that leaves me." I've just rambled into territory that I don't want Riley in, "Anyway, blend lies and truths and who's to know?"

"Who's to know? Everyone you lie to."

"I'm working on it, alright?" I run a hand through my hair and look at him. His lips part slightly as he stares at me.

"Did I–Is there something on my face?" I ask.

"No, you're fine." He looks back down to whatever it is he's fiddling with in his hands, "Your father sounds like a nice man."

I nod and have to look away again, "What about your father?"

"What about him?"

"Nice man?" I ask.

"He believed in tough love." He says. "But he thought tough love meant kick your kid around."

"Oh. I'm sorry." I fold my arms and think about my mother yelling at me to do the right thing all the time. "Were you an only child?"

"You could say that." He laughs lightly. I look over at him, but when he looks at me I look away.

"You have children?" I ask as I scoot a pebble around on the ground with my shoe.

"Probably." By his tone it's not something of interest to him so I don't push it.

I keep my eyes down and nibble at my bottom lip, "I don't want children." I mumble, "I know we're supposed to have them and all that, but… I've got four brothers and a sister and I'm just…" I clear my throat, glancing up through my lashes and see his gaze is still settled on me. I smile tiredly. "I should go." I point a thumb over my shoulder.

"Might I walk you back?"

"No." I shake my head, "It's alright." I clear my throat and just want to die right now.

"Let me rephrase that. I'll walk you back." he says as he slides off the metal box and smothers his cigarette against the side of it. I walk to the door and pull it open and wait for him. I keep my eyes on his boots as he approaches me.

I walk in front of him as we go down the stairwell. I cling to the railing tightly.

"Are you sleeping well?" Riley asks.

"Yeah. I sleep fine." Not really. I toss and turn all night.

"Just so you know, you didn't hurt me."

"What?" I look back at him and at the same time I turn back around and smack into something hard. Metal. A door. I fall back against Riley, "For fuckssakes…" I growl into my hands as Riley's hands hold onto my sides. He's warm. I look at Melanie. Perfect timing.

"Alright." I chirp, "Looks like my ride is here, thanks Riley." I smile with a red grin up at him and give a small salute with my bloody hand. I grab Melanie's hand and drag her down the next flight of stairs.

"What's…" I look at Melanie as we walk and there's something different about her. "What's that smell.. you smell like.. Eric." I grumble still feeling my embarrassment lingering in my nerves. I gasp suddenly and pull her to a sudden stop. "Youuuuuu…" I point a finger at her and then point it behind us.

She drags me into the dormitory and slams the door shut. I'm giggling and she looks pissed which makes my giggling worse.

"So how long have you and Eric been a thing?" I ask while trying to stop my giggle fit.

"We're not–well we haven't been... I mean..." She sighs. "I've never done that before."

"Well don't look at me. I've spent most of my time in detention and being yelled at for the past few years. Boys don't pay attention to me." I smile weakly and a new wave of shame washes over me. My shoulders fall and I look down at my feet. I'm so fucking awkward it hurts.

"What's wrong?" Melanie leans forward slightly, placing her hands on my arms. I shake my head.

"Nothing." I sigh. "I'm happy for you. Eric is terrifying and perfect for you," I mumble. "I need to wash my face and hands. She follows me into the bathroom.

"What happened between you and Riley?" She asks.

"Uhm. Uh not much. I… accidentally knocked him over in a utility closet while he was trying to hide me from Max. That's all," I say quietly as I wash my hands and then cup water and bring it to my mouth.

"You knocked Riley over?" Melanie says in disbelief. "I'm not buying it." She shakes her head, "Eric couldn't knock Riley over if he was pissed off and stabbed with adrenaline."

"I guess I took him by surprise." I shrug as I pull my shirt up over my head and wipe my mouth with it and then toss it in my designated clothes hamper. Melanie is quiet and I don't want to look at her, we walk back into the dorm.

"Oh. My. God," She gasps. "You did kiss him!"

I close my eyes and feel my udder humiliation returning full blast. "I didn't mean to," I say quietly. "He thinks I'm a total idiot. I can just see it in his eyes. I'm just.. going to not fucking," I drag a hand down my face, "look at him, like, ever again."

"What are you talking about? Riley likes you." She says.

"Melanie, no he doesn't." I roll my eyes. I'm growing tired and frustrated by this conversation. "I'm going to bed now. Goodnight."

"Not so fast, blondie." Melanie shakes her head and steps up onto my bed. I look up at her.

"What?" I tug at my blanket weakly.

"What–why do you think that?" Melanie asks.

"Think what?" I groan.

"Think that Riley doesn't like you." Melanie folds her arms and raises an eyebrow. I should've known better than to think she would just let me say goodnight.

"Because." I say, "I'm probably just, like, this little girl to him." There's so much more I could say, but she'd think I was being dramatic so I keep my mouth shut.

"You do not look like a little girl." She says. But I feel like a child. Whenever someone talks to me it's like they're either scolding me or trying to instruct to fix my mistakes. Which is also similar to scolding.

"I want to go to bed. I want to forget about today." I whisper. "Please."

She hops off my bed and lets me climb under my blanket.