Note: This chapter has been edited from it's original form for compliance with the M rating on FanFiction. For the full, MA version of this chapter please visit this same story on Archive of Our Own. The story title and chapter title are the same. The author name is DeepLittleSOB. The link to my Dashboard is in my profile.


September 4th, 2008


He feels the solid surface of the wall against his back as he's pressed into it with force. This demon is one son of a bitch, Bobby thinks as he finds himself pinned to the living room wall by the demon's unseen power. And strong, too. Much stronger than either he or Rufus had previously though.

"Shit," Bobby coughs out while trying to regain his breath. He thought this would be an easy one. Rufus mentioned he tracked a low level demon to a town outside Reno and could use a hand catching the bastard. Now he thinks his buddy wasn't completely forthcoming with his intel.

"Ah, Bobby Singer. Good to see you out and about again," the demon grins while slowly making his way to him. "I thought after Dean's descent you would be a useless piece of shit. I underestimated you."

"Yeah, well, next time maybe you'll estimate me," Bobby quips while unable to move.

"There won't be a next time," the black-eyed man returns while looking up at the frozen hunter and grinning. "You have been an unwelcomed dick in all of our asses for far too long, old man. I think your bill has come due today." He winks quickly and suddenly Bobby is filled with the all-consuming pain of his internal organs and bones crushing under a tremendous weight. It never lets up, burning and searing through him. He wishes he could say it was the first time he's felt this, but sadly it wasn't… not even close.

As suddenly as it began, the pain stops when he hears the demon screaming out. Opening his eyes, he sees the white cloud of steam rising above the demon as it's doused with holy water.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii."

Bobby drops to the floor with a thud as the demon's powers are weakened, landing on his side and causing him to curse with the pain shooting through his arm. He hears the demon yell out again as Rufus continues to spray it with blessed water shooting forth from a bright, multi-colored Super Soaker.

"Omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te. Cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare... shit!" Rufus shouts as the large water gun is flung from his hands. The demon, staring him down through eyes as dark as night, takes a couple quick steps in his direction.

"I don't fucking think so, Rufus!" the demon booms as it swipes its hand through the air, sending him sliding with rapid speed across the wooden floor and into the far wall. He stops abruptly when his body cracks the drywall on impact.

"Damn it," Rufus says in a labored voice, struggling to at least sit up and face his attacker, but the pain is too much at the moment. His head spins as heavy footsteps slowly make their way closer.

"I had always hoped I'd get the chance to rip you a new asshole after what you did to me," the demon confesses. "You sent me back. I've been stuck down there for years, burning, screaming, and I owe it all to you." He leans over and reaches out for Rufus, gripping his collar in his strong hands. "Now, I'm gonna kill you. Nice and slow…" but before he can do anything to the hunter, the demon cries out in anguish again, releasing its hold.

"Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis..." Bobby begins picking up where Rufus left off from his spot standing behind the demon. He managed to get up and grab the Super Soaker. Now he douses the evil being and tries his best to finish off the exorcism. "Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei; contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine... quem inferi tremunt..." Bobby pauses when he realizes he's out of holy water. The gun is empty and he's left sans weapon. He tosses the plastic toy off to the side and takes out a large hunting knife from the sheath on his belt, holding it in front of himself as the demon turns to him. He begins reciting the exorcism even faster. "Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine. Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire."

The demon reaches Bobby in no time and grasps tightly onto his throat. He begins to raise the hunter off of the ground with its tremendous strength.

"Te… roga… mus," he struggles out as his windpipe his constricted more. "Audi… nos!"

The demon lets go and Bobby hits the ground hard for the second time in mere minutes. He takes a quick second to recover and find his breath before jumping to his feet while the black smoke fills the room, covering the ceiling. He rushes to Rufus, checking him over and making sure he's alright.

"Rufus!" Bobby shouts to him while pulling him up to a seated position. "You ok? Talk to me!"

"Yeah, yeah," Rufus says, brushing off the alarm in Bobby's voice. "I'm fine. Let go of me, damn it!" Rufus swats Bobby away and begins to slowly stand up, struggling with the ache of his impact with the wall. "That demon was an asshole when I exorcized him last time. Nice to see that some things never change."

"No shit," Bobby comments while walking to check the now demon-free body on the floor. He presses two fingers to the limp form's throat. "Fuck. He's dead."

"Figures," Rufus remarks while kicking the empty water gun into the wall.

"Super Soaker, huh?" Bobby questions with a slight smile.

"Found it in the garage. Looked like fun to me."

"It was, actually," Bobby laughs quietly. "Ah, thanks, Rufus."

"For what?" Rufus looks over at him with a confused face.

"I'm not an idjit. I know you were tryin' to get me outta the house, get me huntin' again."

Rufus laughs a little. "I just needed someone to back me up is all. All the good hunters were busy, so I had to call your old ass."

"Yeah, right," Bobby shakes his head. "Well, either way thanks for lettin' me in on this one. I needed it."

"Whatever, Bobby," Rufus comments while gathering up any weapons that had been strewn around the room throughout the struggle. "Just remember who taught you everything you know, huh?"

"Well then I guess you're a pretty shitty teacher," Bobby laughs.


He feels the solid surface of the wall against his back as he's pressed into it with force. Sam smiles wider than he has in longer than he can remember as the petite blond woman uses the palms of her hands against his chest to keep him there. She smiles something mischievous up to him.

"Mmm, been waiting way too long to have my way with you again, Iron Giant," she winks while running her hands over his t-shirt, sighing with the feel of the hard planes of his chest and snaking them up to his neck. She pulls him down to her much shorter level and kisses him with sheer intent. Her lips move softly, her tongue making its way to his and she quietly moans while melting her body against him. Sam places a hand to each side of her face and pulls her back a little, wanting to see her just for a quick moment, make sure it's really her.

"God, I've missed you, Lou," he says while looking into her bright blue eyes. She was beautiful, he'd always thought so. It may have taken some time for him to come around to the very forward and bold woman, but once he gave into her he'd never been the same. He wanted her and just her.

"Missed you too, Sam," she smiles warmly before licking her lips. "All of you." Her hands find the button of his pants and her eyes widen playfully. Sam brings her back in for another kiss as she sets to work. It's surreal, the feel of her, the taste of her. Ever since she died, he's been lost. He couldn't have her, any of her, and it crushed him. Right now however, he isn't lost at all. He's been found.

"Sam," she says against his lips. "Oh, Sam."

This time Sam's pulled out of the moment with the sound of her voice. It's off, something is wrong.

"Hey, Sam!"

What the hell? That's not Lou's voice. Sam blinks rapidly with the surprise and when his focus returns he's in the same motel room he remembers falling asleep in, but it's a different woman he's looking at.

"You in there?" Ruby questions while leaning over him. The room is dark and he now remembers lying down next to her. It was a dream, a very real dream none the less, and waking from its blissfulness is the biggest let down of his life.

"Yeah, here," Sam quietly replies while staring at the ceiling, his tone saturated with disdain.

"Man, you were making some crazy noises there," Ruby tells him while swinging a leg over him and sitting on his hips. "Care to share that fun little dream of yours?"

"Not really," Sam responds while Ruby drags her tongue up the side of his neck. Sam rolls his eyes, the anger building with the disappointment. This wasn't the first time he's dreamed of her like this and he's sure now that Lou's going to haunt him for the rest of his damn life at this point.

"You want to reenact some of it then?" Ruby asks while nipping at his ear. Sam quickly decides to take advantage of the situation and flips her onto her back with himself hovering over her. He lowers himself to bring his lips to hers. It isn't the woman he wanted, but she was there and his frustrations were on serious high. Time to use Ruby for all she's worth once more.


She feels the solid surface of the wall against her back as she's pressed into it with force. The man in front of her, pinning her, has his forearm across her neck. He could be crushing her windpipe if he wanted to but she knows he won't. Thinking quickly, she brings her right arm up and grasps onto his wrist, pulling it harshly out to the side of his body and twisting it with brute force. She stops before going too far and inflicting any real damage. Lizzy then uses her left hand, palm open, and thrusts forward into the man's ribs, pushing him back and setting herself free from his hold. She smiles brightly while returning to a ready stance, thinking just for a split second of how proud Dean would be of her. She's still good, still got it. She knows he'd grin like an idiot over the show she puts on and she swears she can hear his voice in the back of her mind… 'That's my girl!'

"Nice work, Lizzy. Quick thinking," the man says to her as he backs up.

"Thanks, Mike," she returns with a sad smile, the brief thought of Dean pulling her back to a somber place. She drops her prepared-for-attack position. She's come by the self-defense complex a few times now. Without Lou around, she has no one to work on hand-to-hand combat with so she needed to find a way to keep up with her fighting skills. She may be out of the game for the most part, but you never know what's around the next corner and she never wants to be caught with her pants down. And most importantly, she's found that it helps with her frustration and anger, which she's always had a hard time controlling.

"Damn, you should do this for a living, you know that?" Mike says while wiping the sweat from his forehead. "You give me a run for my money every time you come in."

"Yeah I do," Lizzy says with a small grin, her good mood still not fully returning. "I mean, you are kind of a pussy so it's not like it's hard to take you down anyways." She adds in a wink for good measure.

"Wow," Mike says with wide eyes and a smile. "You're lucky I have another client coming in or else I'd have to prove just how wrong you are."

"Yeah, right," Lizzy brushes off with a serious tone as she takes a sip of water from her water bottle. Once upon a time she used the container for holy water, the spout on it perfect for long distance strikes, but now it's found a new use for her, the use it was meant to have.

"Seriously though," Mike says, changing the topic back to what he'd wanted to say before. "Here, takes these. You know how to kick some ass, Lizzy. And you're very well trained with some killer instincts."

"I'll have to let the sensei know you said that," Lizzy laughs small, referring to Bobby. She mentioned to Mike before that she had a trainer that she affectionately called sensei, but never revealed that he was an old, grizzled hunter living in a huge, broken down house on a salvage yard. Seemed to her that most would laugh off the idea.

"You should! And if you very wisely decide to take my advice and get certified, I'll always have a place waiting for you here." He hands over the pamphlets he brought out to give her. "And honestly, it feels like you need something like this in your life."

Lizzy glances down and reads the heading; 'The Guardian'. It's a self-defense certification program. She then returns her gaze to Mike, her face showing the surprise of his correct assumptions.

"I'm sorry if I said too much," Mike apologizes, getting the feeling that he went too far.

"No," Lizzy shakes her head, "It's fine. And you're right. I could use the distraction. Yeah, I'll think about it," she promises before saying goodbye and grabbing her things. So far, this was the one thing that she's found that can take away her pain and distract her from the usually depressing thoughts that constantly rule her mind. And she was damn good at it. Beating the crap out of people, or more likely things, always made her happy, feel accomplished even.

She walks out of the building and into the bright sunlight while thinking that maybe she should give it a whirl. It could be good for her in the long run. It'll keep her in shape and sharp, and it made her happy, even in the midst of her depression. Plus, she thinks it'd be something Dean would want her to do. He's love for her to find a way to stay ready and remain an ass kicker.

Lizzy puts the key into the door of the old Mustang and sighs. Back to reality and back to constant reminders of what she's lost. Every time she gets into the car, it makes her sad. Louie loved this car and it meant so much to her. At least now it's still in the hands of a person it has profound meaning for. Lizzy starts the engine and turn on some Petty, thinking of her friend as she drives home to get ready for the late shift at the bar.


He feels the solid surface of the wall against the back of the man's head as he slams it down onto the rack with force. Dean's angry, very angry.

"You want to say that to me again?" he challenges in a low, gruff tone of voice with sheer ire. How dare this man, this piece of shit, this soul sold for such a selfish and petty reason, talk to him in that way?

"Go fuck yourself buddy," the man says back with little concern for his own safety. "I've been here for years now. I've seen it all. So go right ahead, give it your best shot, bad ass."

Dean brings his face close, so close his nose presses against that of the clearly stupid man on his rack, and he shakes with anger. He's noticed that over the years of being a tormentor his level of rage within him has grown to epic proportions. It's what drives him to do what he does every day, even if deep down he knows how wrong it is.

"You are seriously going to regret saying that to me," Dean warns through a clenched jaw. "You may have been down here for a while, but you've never seen anything like me."

"Oh, I'm sure I haven't. What, you think you're the big hot shot around here? Please…" the man rolls his eyes.

He hears the words and backs up, turning away from the mouthy man and pausing for a second. Hot shot. It makes him think of Lizzy. She's always there with him somehow, buried deep and just creeping up on him now and then, but he does what he can to suppress her presence in his mind. It makes his job too hard to do. He grips tighter to the razor in his hand and he realizes he's still shaking, but now it's not from anger. It's from total anxiety. This guy is doing a number on him unintentionally. First his ridiculous lack of fear and now the use of her nickname for him, he can't do it.

"C'mon, dude, let's get this show on the road already," the strapped down man shouts to him. "What, you can't get it up for me?" Dean hears the laughter and shakes his head. He's right, Dean can't do it.

"Fuck," Dean laments and drops the razor. In a flash the man on the rack is gone and Alistair is at his side.

"Grasshopper, what is this?" he questions Dean with impatience and disappointment. "Since when do the whiny, all be it mouthy, little bitches I hand over get the better of you? This is unacceptable, Dean!"

"I'm sorry," he responds quietly, surprised by just how saddened he is to let the Grand Inquisitor down. "I don't know what's wrong. I just…"

"Oh, knock it off," Alistair pokes fun. "This self-loathing bullshit is about to make me puke. Cut the weak shit and get back in there." Alistair hands back over his razor and Dean grasps it in his hand. He stares down at it for a moment, thinking how wrong it felt in his hand for the first time since taking it up, and blinks rapidly. He tries to clear his mind of such thoughts and get back on track. He made a deal, off the rack to put souls on. That's what he has to do.

"Now," Alistair begins while turning Dean by his shoulders back in the direction of the rack. A new soul is on it, waiting with terror and horrid anticipation in her eyes. Dean feels the pat on the ass as it propels him forward. "Get back in there and make big daddy proud!"