Chapter Nine – Breath

I sat up cautiously and slipped off the bed just in time to see Edward suddenly spring up and gasp loudly. He started fighting to take huge, deep breaths of air. He looked confused and distressed, like he was having difficulty with the sensation of air in his lungs.

"Edward?" I said cautiously, "Edward, it's alright. Breath slowly; don't fight it." I tried to sound as calm as possible, like I knew what I was talking about (I didn't). Of course he'd breathed before, but now apparently he actually needed the oxygen to fuel a fully functioning heart and he seemed to be having a little trouble adapting. I took a step closer as he still dragged in unnaturally deep breaths. I didn't want to startle him.

"Edward, are you okay?" It was a dumb, inane question but I wasn't really thinking too closely about my word choices. "How do you feel?" Oh yeah, another beauty.

His breathing slowly settled into a regular rhythm but it still looked like he had to think about what he was doing; Breath in, breath out. Actually, it was good to have a little reminder of that myself.

"Edward?"

"How- how do I feel? Strange."

"Is it an unwell kind of strange or more different strange?"

"Different…I don't feel unwell. There's a uncomfortable tingling sensation in my fingers and toes, and head for that matter, but that's the worst of it."

Pins and needles; blood, unused for over eighty years rushing into every corner of his body I supposed.

"Do you remember…everything…me?" I asked, finishing in a tiny voice.

Edward looked at me with his beautiful shining topaz eyes and gradually his breathing became normal. "Of course; You are my Bella."

Suddenly he gasped again. He'd forgotten that pesky breathing thing again. I suppressed a smile as I sat back down on the bed beside him.

"You'll get used to it soon. New born babies pick it up pretty quick. I'm sure you'll have it down in no time."

He had the good grace to laugh at my very lame joke even though there was still an obviously worried expression on his beautiful face. I tried to reassure him. "So it seems to have worked, this whole cure thing."

"Has it? Am I human?" Edward asked in a fierce whisper.

"I think it must have. I heard your heart beating."

Edward looked at me as though he didn't comprehend my words. "Did you? I can't hear it. I can't hear your heart beating either. It's gone."

"Not gone."

I picked up his hand and held it on my chest so that he could feel the steady thumping of my heart. Then I picked up his other hand and placed it over his newly reawakened heart to prove that it was working, that he truly was human. We both looked at each other in quiet awe when we realised that our hearts were beating in absolute unison.

Tears sprang to my eyes at the sheer beauty of this perfect moment. I looked at Edward and was stunned to see tears in his eyes as well.

"See, that's a very human thing to do," I told him, smiling through the wet mistiness.

"Very," he agrees quietly and wiped the moisture from his eyes. He looked at the slick of liquid on his finger tip with utter amazement and I realised that this was going to be fun – seeing him experience new things as a human practically the first time. He fell into my arms and I held him tight to my breast. I ran my hands along the contours of his back an arms, amazed at the soft fleshy feel. It was strange and foreign to me. I felt a sudden pang of loss. I missed the hard marbled body I knew so well. I wanted my familiar Edward back. I knew the thought was a betrayal and unfair but it was human – we can, afterall, be contrary sometimes. We like the known. And then I remembered the days of agony that my Edward had endured so that he might be human for me and just as suddenly as my irrational thoughts had arrived they vanished and I was consumed with love and gratitude for the wonderful man in my arms. I kissed the top of his head. Sure, he might feel unfamiliar physically but the feelings I felt for him were still exactly the same.

Edward pulled out of my embrace. "Sorry," he said then hastened to explain, "I'm not upset; quite the opposite. Becoming human again….it's almost too incredible to believe. I never, not even in my wildest dreams thought that this was remotely possible…I'm in shock and wonder."

"It is incredible," I agreed. "Your hands are warm."

"Are they?" Edward looked at his hands then opened and closed them a couple of times. He seemed to find that small fact amazing. He looked back at me and I nodded. Then he asked, "What colour are my eyes?"

I didn't quite understand why he was asking but replied, "Golden brown, same as they usually are."

"Really?"

I nodded again which caused Edward to spring off the bed and race to look in the mirror. I followed him to the bathroom.

"They used to be green before, I thought they might have changed back."

"Guess you're stuck with Cullen brown. Lucky for you they're pretty," I told him with a smile. I was actually kind of glad they hadn't changed back. It would have been very disconcerting looking into eyes I didn't know and at least this way, even amongst other differences I still had Edward's eyes.

"I have colour in my face!"

I didn't contradict him though even though the 'colour' he could see was barely perceptible - he was still incredibly pale. Seven decades of no sunshine couldn't be undone in the blink of an eye.

"Do I look the same to you?"

"Yeah, exactly the same; why, do you think you look different?"

"That's just it. I look the same but I feel so…."

"Different?"

"Yes.

"It's just going to take a some time to adjust I suppose."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I've grown use to having certain….abilities. It will be strange to live without them."

We left the bathroom and went back into the bedroom. Edward sat back down on the edge of the Bed. I sat beside him.

"So, what do you want to do now?" I asked the question without meeting his eyes. My thoughts had, naturally, headed in the direction of the big bed we were sitting on as I grew rapidly accustomed to the reality of my human husband and his warm body.

Edward smirked. "Well," he said, tracing spiralling patterns on the back of my hand. "You know what I'd really like to do?"

"What?" I breathed.

"Eat something. I'm absolutely starving."

Down in the kitchen I set to making pancakes while Edward eagerly sampled the range of foods at his immediate disposal.

"So this is the cereal you eat most mornings?" Edward asked as he shovelled a spoonful of cornflakes into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed then gave his assessment, "I don't get the appeal. It has no taste. What about those pop tart things you eat? Have we got any of those?"

"Yeah, I think so. I'll cook you a couple." I watched in amusement as he worked his way through the contents of the fridge sampling everything he came across from tropical fruits to tinned salmon to potato chips and double chocolate fudge cookie dough ice-cream.

I finished the pancakes and set them before him with butter and syrup and scrambled eggs and bacon and then watched him devour the lot. Yeah, he had the appetite of a seventeen year old male alright. It was quite a sight. Everything got a rapturous review but, to be honest, he wasn't the most discriminating of consumers.

"Food is different now. Before…before I was sick, food was nothing like any of this. It was very plain, simple. Why didn't you tell me that food is incredible?"

I laughed, enjoying immensely his enthusiasm and amazement at this stunning revelation. "You don't know the half of it;" I told him, "I can't wait to give you your first burger."

I noticed Edward's cell phone lying on the bench. I picked it up and examined the large screen. There were no missed calls and no messages. That struck me as odd.

"Why do you think we haven't heard from Alice?" I asked. Surely Alice would have seen a vision of Edward's suffering or indeed, foreseen his change to human? Edward finished his mouthful and considered my question for a moment before replying, "I'm not sure to be honest. She would have seen it, if she were looking. Perhaps she's deliberately not looking – it is our honeymoon after all. Perhaps other things are keeping her busy at the moment. Who knows?"

"So your news will be a surprise to them all."

"Yeah, I guess it will if Alice continues to give us privacy."

"When will we go home?"

"So eager for our holiday to end?"

"No – it's just…"

"I'm teasing. I know exactly what you mean. This is big news with big implications for my whole family. I'm excited to share it too."

"So we'll go sooner rather than later?"

"Once I'm sure there are no adverse reactions to the antidote."

"Reactions? You mean like side effects or unforseen consequences? Have you noticed any?"

"Not as yet but its only been a few hours and its better to make sure that nothing goes wrong or that it is indeed a permanent change."

"Are those things possible? You never said anything about that!"

"Calm down Bella. I'm sure everything is going to be fine. I feel fine, better than fine actually, but there can be no harm in waiting a couple of days just to be perfectly comfortable."

"No, you're right. I'm just freaking out unnecessarily."

Edward laughed and kept on eating. I kept watching….amazed just to see him devouring food with such gusto. He showed a decided preference for sweet, although, to be fair, I hadn't been able to produce a great array of savoury treats. I couldn't help but recall the one other time I'd seen him force human food down his throat – purely to demonstrate that it was possible. It had caused a look of revulsion that had been down-right comical. But this – his eating anything and everything he could lay his hands was comical on a whole other level.

"Done?" I asked as I began clearing the remnants and plates away.

"Yes. And I feel…decidedly uncomfortable."

"Is it any wonder? You just devoured a weeks worth of food in one sitting. You should go and lie down for a while."

Edward took my suggestion; when I turned around from the dishwasher he was not sitting at the kitchen table. So it seemed that he could obviously still move with deceptive silence despite the new humanity. After I was done cleaning up I went upstairs to find him and hoping that he wasn't too ill from the over-indulgence. I found him, in bed, fast asleep. For some reason the sight of him sleeping caused tears to spring to my eyes. God, was I going to be this foolish and sentimental over every little human thing he did? He did look beautiful though, exactly like an angel. I found myself sitting down in the chair that was still next to the bed and simply watched him sleep, fascinated by his deep breathing, his movements, his flickering eyes as he dreamt. I wondered what he dreamed of. He didn't talk though; that was good, I supposed, one sleep-talker in the family was quite enough. For how many hours I watched him sleep I do not know but it was fascinating. For the first time I had an inkling of what Edward had felt as he's watched me sleep. It made me feel very close him. Unlike Edward, when he was a vampire, I couldn't watch endlessly; I needed sleep too. At some point my head must have fallen to the mattress because, some hours later, I woke up stiff and uncomfortable from sleeping in such an awkward position. Edward was still in deep slumber but it was pitch black outside with the waning moon offering the only illumination. I got up, pulled the French doors shut and changed into my pyjamas before slipping between the sheets beside my beautiful, human husband. It gave me quite a shock not to feel the expected coolness of his body against mine. Usually it provided welcome relief against the tropical heat, yet there was something equally nice about this warmer frame too – I was not complaining at all. Despite the temperature I snuggled in close and listened to the sound of his deep even breaths and the rhythmic beating of his heart. Yes, there was something very nice about this indeed.