"We're about forty minutes out from home base, sir," Clint hears the pilot say, and Phil takes his headphones off, standing up from the comm center and heading back to where Clint and Steve were sitting.
"This a private conversation?" he asks, leaning up against the bulkhead near where Steve is sitting. Clint takes in Phil's posture and bites back a smile. Phil is a study in feigned nonchalance, leaning against the bulkhead, arms crossed, trying to look casual. But Clint can see the slight tension in his shoulders and the subtle lines at the corners of his mouth where he's trying to suppress a goofy smile. Clint grins up at him.
"I was just informing the good Captain of all the great advances in gay rights in the last seventy years," Clint says cheerfully. Shock passes over Phil's face for a split second before the professional mask comes down. Clint smiles at him reassuringly and Phil relaxes.
"And is this a good thing?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. He's looking at Clint rather than at Steve, but he no longer seems worried.
"I think it's a very good thing, Agent Coulson," Steve says firmly, a hint of the righteous determination that rarely fails to motivate the most reluctant of heroes in his voice. "Like I told Agent Barton-"
"Clint," Clint corrects firmly. The smile Steve gives him both sweet and wistful.
"Clint," he agrees, before turning back to Phil.
"Like I told Clint," Steve pauses and takes a deep breath, "I had a friend I would have liked to have been more, had such a thing been at all acceptable." Steve's cheeks and the tips of his ears are red, but he looks up at Phil earnestly. Phil looks poleaxed.
"Bucky," he whispers, almost to himself, and Steve goes white. Phil realises his mistake immediately and he pales, dropping down heavily into the seat next to Clint.
"I'm sorry," he says quickly. "I'm so sorry, I had no right to say that." Phil looks miserable, and Clint edges closer, shoulder to shoulder and puts his hand lightly on Phil's thigh in comfort and reassurance.
When Clint first discovered Phil's Captain America obsession, long before they were married, but well after he'd admitted to himself he was head over heels for his handler, he'd taken the time to learn as much as he could about the good Captain, or at least about the character as he was presented. The comics had started back when Steve was still doing USO shows, and had continued sporadically ever since. Phil's childhood had coincided with a resurgence of all things Captain America and for Phil, a skinny kid prone to illness himself, Steve Rogers had been the ultimate role model. The fact that the comics were based, however loosely, on an actual person who had fought and died for his country only gave Phil's obsession legitimacy. Other kids might have their Superman or Blue Beetle, but Captain America was real.
From what Clint has read, it's not surprising that Phil guessed the identity of Steve's 'friend' so easily. Bucky had pretty much always been portrayed as Captain America's faithful sidekick in the comics, and Phil, whose comprehensive nature and attention to detail were inborn, not trained, had learned as much as possible about the real lives of the people the comic was based on.
Steve takes a deep breath and manages to look Phil in the eye, which takes effort, seeing as Phil is trying to look anywhere but at the Captain.
"It's ok," Steve says finally, when he has Phil's attention. "I just didn't think I'd been that obvious."
"You probably weren't," Clint assures him. "You know there are comics about Captain America, right?" he asks Steve, which serves the dual purpose of explaining and getting Steve's attention off Phil so the poor man can get his equilibrium back. Steve blushes bright red, but nods.
"Kids used to come up to me after the USO shows wanting me to sign them," he says. Clint nods.
"Well, the comics continued, and your epic bromance with Bucky Barnes was a big part of a lot of the stories. They kinda made him out as your sidekick."
"Bucky was not a sidekick," Steve mutters indignantly, but without any real heat. "And what exactly is a 'bromance'?" he asks, a small frown of confusion on his face. Phil must have gotten his composure back, because he's the one who answers.
"It's a modern slang term for a close, affectionate, lifelong friendship between two men. It's more formally called a romantic friendship. Not generally considered to have any kind of sexual element, but there will always be people who read into things," Phil explains, and Clint loves it when Phil sounds like a dictionary.
He's still a little amazed that this incredibly smart, highly educated man could want to be with Clint, who never actually got past fifth grade, at least officially. Clint knows he's not stupid. He'd breezed through his GED his first year with SHIELD, and Phil has told him several times that what he's taught himself about computer programming and systems would be enough for a PhD if he'd ever bothered to get the credits, but inside, Clint still thinks of himself as the rough, uneducated circus kid. It drives Phil crazy, but old habits die hard. Despite his background, or perhaps because of it, Clint has always found Phil showing off his book-learning incredibly hot.
Steve just nods and there's an awkward silence for a few seconds before Clint turns to Phil.
"Who are we expecting back at the carrier when we land?" Clint asks, and both Phil and Steve look grateful for the change of subject.
"Tasha should be back with Dr. Banner," Phil answers. "Sounds like it went well," he says with a conspiratorial smile at Clint, who grins back.
"So, this Dr. Banner was trying to replicate the serum they used on me?" Steve asks, picking up the tablet again to flip through to Bruce's file.
"A lot of people were," Phil answers, slipping right back into lecture mode. Clint smirks and leans back to enjoy. "You were the world's first superhero," Phil continues, "Banner thought gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine's original formula." Clint can hear the Hulk roar from the footage Steve must be watching on his tablet. From experience, Clint knows that particular sound is more pain than anger, and he balls his fists and grits his teeth against the surge of protective empathy it provokes.
"Didn't really go his way, did it?" Steve asks grimly, eyes still glued on the screen.
"Not so much," Phil replies, his eyes seeking out Clint's and calming him with a single understanding look. "When he's not-" Clint can hear the slight hesitation as Phil tries to come up with a non-offensive term, "transformed though, guy's like a Stephen Hawking."
Steve looks up at Phil blankly. Realising that Steve has no idea who Stephen Hawking is, Phil's cheek colour slightly as he explains.
"He's like a . . . smart person," Phil finishes awkwardly, apparently unable to come up with a decent analog Steve might have heard of. Clint raises an eyebrow to show his incredulity.
'Thomas Edison,' he mouths at Phil, 'Alexander Graham Bell. Einstein.' Clint clucks his tongue and shakes his head with disappointment. He gives Phil a look that clearly says 'I expected better out of you,' and Phil rolls his eyes, but the small twitch at the corner of his mouth shows that he appreciates Clint's teasing.
Steve is watching them with amusement when they turn back, and something about the slightly fond look on his face makes Phil straighten up.
"I gotta say," Phil starts, cheeks and ears red, "it's an honour to meet you, officially." Steve's smile turns bashful and a little strained. Clint sees Phil start to open his mouth to say something else and delivers a sharp warning kick to Phil's ankle. Phil swallows whatever he was going to say, covering it with a slight clearing of the throat, and throws Clint a grateful glance. Clint just smiles smugly. Phil should know that Clint will always have his back, even when it comes to making sure he doesn't embarrass himself with his fanboy tendencies.
Steve stands and makes his way to the front of the plane, peering down to look out the windshield at the ocean below.
"I just hope I'm the man for the job," Steve mutters, and Clint can hear the doubt and insecurity in his tone. Phil must too, because he glances at Clint a split second before turning back to Steve.
"You will be," Phil says quietly, and in his voice is the calm certainty that has pulled Clint back from the brink more times than he can count, backed by the awesome power of Phil's faith. Steve straightens immediately, instinctively, and Clint catches a glimpse of the leader Clint knows he will become.
Phil turns the look that goes with that voice on Clint, and it warms him down to his toes. Seeing those three words from Phil banish the shadows of self-doubt from Steve's face, Clint has never been so proud.
