His Name is Beloved

For a week, Dave couldn't decide between staying away from Sam and following him. He wanted to forget it ever happened and go up and apologize. Sorry I'm a fucking queer. Sorry I'm a coward who can't stand myself. Sorry I don't have any self-control. Sorry I'm a freak. Everything sounded stupid in his head, so if he got to close, he shuttled past or turned around. Saturday night, after winning the hockey game, he felt confident. He wanted to talk to Sam, but he didn't have the guy's number. It wasn't too late, only nine, so he drove over, still hung over on happiness.

Luckily, Sam answered the door. Sam smiled, but it wasn't a huge smile, not like the one he used to have plastered to his face.

"I wanted to say I'm -"

"Let's talk about this upstairs, okay?" Sam said.

"Yeah, sure."

"Who is it, Sam?" Mr. Evans called.

"My friend David," Sam answered. "We're gonna go hang out."

"If you need anything, just ask."

In his room, Sam sat on his bed. Dave sat on a chair in front of Sam's desk. This week, the room was clean. Then Dave saw the opened package of condoms on the nightstand.

"You had sex with Santana."

Sam blushed and shrugged. "She's my girlfriend."

"Does she know about..." He wasn't sure what to say.

"... what happened?" Sam finished. Dave nodded. "She knows I kissed someone else. All she said was that I have to buy her a gift every time I'm with... them."

"I don't want you to fuck her."

"Jealous?" The smile was back.

"No!" Dave crossed his arms.

Sam kissed him, his hands very lightly resting on Dave's chin.

"You can't be homophobic and grossed out by straight sex – unless you're asexual, I guess."

"Fine! I don't like thinking about you and her."

"You didn't mind last week. What did you think would happen, I would dump her and stand outside your window with a boombox?" Dave blushed. "Look, Santana doesn't care about us except for her image, and if you want to stay in the closet, this is the perfect cover, isn't it?"

"Is this going to turn into a thing?" Dave asked quietly.

"Do you want it to?"

That was the problem. Dave wanted to say yes, at the moment he honestly believed he would work through all of his problems and it would be over in a week. He couldn't get his mouth to work; he was too scared. He nodded, instead, and Sam leaned in again. He didn't kiss Dave, though, he just sat there, looking into Dave's eyes. Dave had always thought they were blue, but up close, he could see that they were this green sort of gray. He started shaking – was he really going to do this?

"Are you going to run away tonight?" Sam asked. "Because that made me feel like shit."

Why wasn't Sam blinking? He couldn't move until Sam blinked.

"I'm sorry. I should have stayed, I just... I have problems. You know that."

"Yeah. I guess there aren't any excuses after tonight, huh?"

Sam's lips were soft. His hands weren't, as Dave found out when he dug them into Dave's hair. Dave didn't have to push Sam onto the bed because he pulled Dave on top of him. Kneeling over the blonde, Dave slid his hand over Sam's abs (under the shirt this time!). Sam grunted and broke the kiss, going for Dave's neck.

"Sam," Dave said quietly.

"Mm."

"Sam, you can't mark my skin."

"Everyone will just think you hooked up with someone."

"Yeah, and I won't be able to say who."

"Fine." Sam bit his neck playfully. "What about on your chest?"

Dave blushed thinking about Sam sucking on his chest. He wasn't sure if he should be embarrassed of the boner he was getting or just go with the flow.

"Locker room after practice."

"Oh, right. You know," he whispered, "I know a place they wouldn't think to look..."

"Sam..."

"Like you haven't thought about it."

He was definitely embarrassed now. Sam let go of him and laid down. Dave followed suit but face-down with an arm draped over Sam.

"Do you like me, David?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Do you, y'know, like me?"

Dave hid his face with his arms.

"Yeah," he answered. "I think you're adorable – and brave and strong and talented and dorky." He swallowed. "And s-s-" He couldn't say it.

"I get it."

Dave peeked at him through the crook of his elbow.

"Really?"

"I like you, too. I guess we frustrate each other sometimes, right?"

Dave nodded.

"You don't have to be scared around me, okay?"

Dave nodded, and he knew Sam couldn't see it, but he was grinning as widely as he could.