"Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dear Dawnie,
Happy birthday to you!"
At the head of a table laden with food normally associated with children's parties sat Dawn. In front of her was a cake, a cake with seven candles ready for her to celebrate her seventh year by blowing them out. So many things had shifted and changed since she was five years old. Her father, Hank had gotten a new job. It was a higher position that appeared to require him to be around far too little during the week and far too much during the weekends. Joyce was struggling to find her footing in the working world again, now that Dawn didn't need her 24/7. And Buffy—Dawn's beloved older sister—was now twelve years old; twelve years old with long blonde hair and a friend attached to her side at all times. She was constantly getting into arguments with her mother about makeup and clothes and if Dawn were to enter her room now she would find posters of various heartthrobs and stashes of Valentines.
Buffy was a stranger to her now, and that was the biggest difference of all.
First there was her lack of apology, and then came the fighting. If Dawn so much as touched her finger to the doorknob of Buffy's room she would be verbally attacked. Buffy's friends ignored her, and when Buffy wasn't yelling at her to go away, she followed suit.
For awhile Dawn had hung on, choosing to follow her sister like a shadow. She had slept with Carrot clutched to her chest every night, sometimes hearing quiet music from Buffy's bedroom and using Carrot's ear to wipe the small tears away. It had been hard to accept not being wanted anymore, it had been lonely.
But in the months that followed Dawn had begun to realize that she had her own life. There was Laura with her temper to match her hair and a tendency to state her honest opinion very loudly with no shame. There was Dani, the thoughtful one who was learning to bake with her mother and would play Peter Pan with Dawn if she wanted. There was school, which Dawn now loved. There was learning to read on her own. Learning to write her own stories. Dawn was busy, busy being independent. Independent and happy.
"Hip hip hooray!" Dani cheered as Dawn blew out her handles. "You get a wish, you know."
"When I turned seven," Laura announced. "I wished my parents would let me buy my own horse. But when I asked after they said no. Wishes don't work."
"They do so!" Dani argued. "My wish came true."
"What was it?" asked Dawn.
Dani smiled. "New hair slides" she said. "My old ones broke." And she pointed at the butterfly slide currently in her hair. "Cool, right? I also wished to be the best chocolate chip cookie baker in the world."
At that moment Joyce walked in from the kitchen, collecting some plates left on the table by the other party guests. These guests had since run off to play with the Summers' recently acquired kitten, Jelly Baby.
"Nope" Dani informed Joyce, her eyes intense as if this was the most important thing in the world. "And time is running out."
"Okay, okay" Dawn waved her hand, kicking her feet under the table and trying to think of something she really wanted.
What did she want? Dawn didn't want a horse or hair slides, nor did she want to be able to bake chocolate chip cookies. What Dawn really wanted was something she doubted a wish made to something edible could give her. Despite everything, Dawn just wanted her sister back. Today was Dawn's seventh birthday party and Buffy had only uttered rushed birthday wishes before ducking out the door. If Dawn could wish for anything, it would have been Buffy.
"If you haven't made that stupid wish in five seconds, I'm going to wish for a horse again," Laura snapped, impatient while Dani glared at her.
"Shhh," Dani hushed. "It's Dawn's wish. She's just trying to think of something good. Right, Dawnie?"
Dawn nodded, and the nickname solidified the wish in her mind. Within seconds she had leaned over the cake, taken a deep breath and blown out her candles.
Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, she thought as hard as she could. I just want my sister.
Then, ignoring the cheers and chatter from her two best friends, Dawn sat back in her chair, feeling sadder than one should amidst celebration.
By 9:00pm that night Dawn was already asleep with Carrot clutched to her chest for comfort. She didn't stir when someone creaked open her bedroom door and crept across the floor towards her bed.
She didn't stir when the person leaned over her, and pried Carrot from her arms.
Dawn didn't stir until a hushed voice whispered a song into her ear.
"Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dear Dawnie,
Happy birthday to you!"
Groggily, Dawn rolled over so that she was looking up at the singer.
Long, blonde hair, a beaming smile, Carrot in one hand and something else behind her back – Buffy, her older sister, her wish.
"Buffy?" Dawn asked, voice soft. It was all she could think to say, she was too surprised. "What are you doing here?"
For the first time in far too long, Buffy's smile was apologetic. She motioned for Dawn to make room and then slid into the bed beside her, making sure to place the mystery item on the floor so Dawn couldn't see.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there today," she said, placing one arm around her younger sister.
Dawn just shrugged. She hadn't really expected her older sisters' presence at a seven year olds birthday party. Surely she'd have something better, more grown up and Dawn-less to do.
"I was trying to find you a present, actually. Brenda's mom dropped us off at the mall and I dragged her around looking for ages. I couldn't find anything though, I'm sorry."
Once again, Dawn shrugged. On her face there was the widest smile. She hadn't expected a present from Buffy. Joyce gave Buffy an allowance but Dawn had just figured that she would spend it all on clothes every week, or cassettes or shoes. Buffy really did sound sorry, and she'd tried. What more could Dawn ask for. Her wish had come true. She had Buffy. Buffy was here. That was all that mattered to her right now.
She rested her head on her older sisters' shoulder, still smiling. "I don't mind," she told her. And she really didn't.
"Actually, I just mean I didn't find anything at the mall," Buffy continued, laughing a little. "Nothing was special. You're seven, Dawnie. That's awesome!"
"Seven's not that awesome. It's not special."
"What? Of course seven's special. Every age is special. Birthday's are meant to be special."
"Oh?"
At last, Buffy reached down the side of the bed to where she had left whatever she had previously been holding. It hadn't even occurred to Dawn that the mystery item might be a present for her.
When the present was visible in her line of sight, she recognized it immediately.
"Buffy's Big Book of Bedtime Stories," she said, her voice quiet and devoid of emotion. Suddenly she wasn't so excited about getting her wish. Buffy was giving her the book, her book, their book. If Buffy gave her the Big Book, then it wouldn't be theirs anymore. There would be no more them. There would be no chance that Buffy would look at it one day and think of Dawn, maybe even come and read to her. Buffy was giving their relationship back to her, or at least that was how it felt.
But Buffy's face was smiling, as if she had thought of the perfect gift idea for Dawn.
"You can read the stories on your own now," she explained, placing the book on Dawn's lap. "Peter Pan, Goldilocks, Cinderella…whatever you want. You don't need me."
How could Buffy keep smiling like this? This wasn't a present, this was a curse. No matter how fine Dawn had become without Buffy's overwhelming presence in her life, nothing had prepared her for this. Her older sister letting go of everything they'd ever shared together hadn't been her wish.
"Thanks," was all she said.
Soon Buffy was gone, giving Dawn a quick hug before she left. Dawn was left alone in the darkness holding a book of forgotten memories.
Laura was right; wishes didn't work.
