WARNING! This story is rated M because of the strong lesbian theme throughout, and because there are occasional explicit depictions of lesbian sex at various points in the narrative (although not in every chapter). Read at your own risk.
DISCLAIMER! I do not own any part of the K-On! franchise. Ownership belongs to Kakifly, Hōbunsha, and Kyōtō Animation. I do, however, own all original characters appearing in this fiction, and they may not be used elsewhere without my express written consent.
NOTE ON FORMATTING: Even though this story is written in English, the characters' default language is understood to be Japanese. [Bracketed text like this denotes that the words are either spoken or thought in English.] Internal monologue, written/electronic communications, and song lyrics are italicized.
Chapter 9: Refugee
5/28/2016, 12:48 pm
Aboard the JapanRail Yokohama Line Rapid, Leaving Hachiōji-Minamino Station
As the train pulled out of the station, Miyashiro Ui huddled against the window next to her seat, staring vacantly out of it at the passing cityscape. A late-spring rain poured out of the overcast sky, beating relentlessly against the side of the carriage, but she wasn't really paying attention to it, or indeed to much of anything else around her, except for the pleasant, feminine voice sounding from the loudspeaker overhead.
"The next station is Hachiōji. The next station is Hachiōji. The doors will open on the right side. Please change here for the following lines…"
The announcement was a signal that in five minutes or so, the agony of Ui's hours-long train trip from Fukuoka would finally end. It was none too soon. She was woozy, her head was pounding, and she could no longer ignore the cramping ache that gnawed at her left side. Her swollen left eye, which she could barely see out of, throbbed mercilessly, and its patched-up eyebrow stung as if jolts of electricity were running through it. The medicine they had given her at the emergency room would have helped greatly, but she was afraid of falling asleep on the train and missing her stop, so there was nothing for it but to grit her teeth and push through the pain until she could get to Yui.
Yui would be her refuge.
The condition of her face kept drawing speculative stares from the other passengers. It made her feel dirty, as if the entire incident – indeed, everything that had gone so horribly wrong over the past 13 months – was all her fault.
To avoid the curious glances, she kept her head down, focusing on the single roll-away suitcase that held what little she'd brought with her from Fukuoka. There hadn't been time to pack anything more, because she'd had to leave town quickly to get away from the man who had inflicted these injuries on her: her husband, Miyashiro Yasuhisa.
The previous night, he had been out drinking with his business colleagues, as was usual for a Friday. To pass the time, Ui had been practicing with her acoustic guitar, the custom Yamaha that Yui had given her as a college graduation present. Yasu had let her bring the guitar with her to Fukuoka on the condition that she never play it in front of him, and to this point, she'd been very careful not to do so. Unfortunately, he came home earlier than she'd expected, and caught her in the act. She was so absorbed in the music that she hadn't even heard him come in.
In his drunken rage, he tore her guitar out of her hands and smashed it to splinters as she looked on in horror. He cursed her for playing it, cursed Yui for giving it to her, cursed their strong bond as sisters, and cursed the music that was Ui and Yui's shared passion.
And then he punched her in the face, and everything went dark.
The next thing she knew, she was on the floor, her head spinning. There was blood everywhere – her blood. As she was lying there helpless, he kicked her in the side for good measure before staggering over to the sofa and collapsing into a stupor. Somehow she managed to call 119, but after that, everything was a blur. All she could remember was police officers dragging Yasu off to jail as the paramedics swarmed over her, shining lights in her eyes and poking needles into her.
At the emergency room, she was told she had a mild concussion, a blow-out fracture of her eye orbit, a deep laceration to her eyebrow, and a bruised spleen. That's what the paperwork said, anyway. She didn't really remember her actual conversation with the doctor, other than that he told her she was lucky Yasu was drunk and not in full control of his body. The damage could have been a lot worse, he said.
After the doctor was done with her, the prefectural police detective who took Ui's statement told her that because Yasu had no criminal record and his family was so influential, he would likely be allowed to post bail as soon as he sobered up, despite the seriousness of the charges against him. Without a court order, no one could keep him away from her. The thought that he could be released so soon was frightening. As the doctor had suggested, if he had hurt her so badly while drunk, then what would he do to her if he was sober? Ui didn't intend to wait around to find out.
Against medical advice, she checked herself out of the hospital, gathered a few belongings, withdrew what little cash there was in her household checking account, and bought a ticket on the next bullet train for Tōkyō. Instinctively, she ran to the one person she could count on for protection.
Yui.
The train pulled into Hachiōji Station and ground to a halt. Feeling as though she was strapped with lead weights, Ui dragged her suitcase through the open carriage door, wincing as her fellow passengers bumped and jostled her in their hurry to disembark. She trudged wearily along the platform, glad that it was indoors and sheltered from the pouring rain, all the while scanning the crowds around her, looking for Yui.
Onē-chan, where are you? I need you to be here, more than anything!
By the time she reached the station's main concourse, she was fighting the temptation to panic. There was no way Yui had forgotten her, she reassured herself. If she was late, there had to be good reason. The sensible thing, she decided, was to try to call her sister to tell her she'd arrived. While she was rummaging around in her purse looking for her cell phone, however, her search was interrupted by a familiar voice.
"Ui."
At the sound of her name, she looked up at the woman who had suddenly stepped in front of her. The leather jacket, scarf, and tinted glasses might have fooled most observers, but not Ui. There was no mistaking her beloved sister's voice. It was burned into her earliest memories, and lately it had spoken to her in her dreams, urging her to be strong.
"Onē-chan…oh, God, I'm sorry…" she quavered, unable to say anything more. All she could do was stand there gazing at Yui, oblivious to the stares of the passersby, as the tears she thought had finally run dry suddenly returned with a vengeance.
Her face white with shock, Yui slowly, gently, reached out a trembling hand toward Ui's battered face, stopping just short of touching it, as if she was afraid of injuring her further.
"Ui…what's happened to you? That bastard…what's he done to my precious little sister?"
With that, she swept Ui into an embrace. It was such a relief to be back in her sister's arms…at least until they wound around her waist and squeezed. It felt like someone was driving a spear into her side, and her knees buckled in response to the searing agony.
"Too…tight…Onē-chan…" she groaned.
"Dammit," Yui apologized, releasing Ui and helping her regain her balance. "You're hurt. Here, let me help you out of traffic."
Still wobbling on unsteady legs, she allowed Yui to tow her out of the sea of train travelers toward a nearby bench. As they approached, the three women who had been sitting on it slowly rose to their feet. One, tall and beautiful, Ui didn't recognize. The others, however, were a sight for sore eyes.
"Azusa-chan…Jun-chan…"
Gaping in stunned disbelief, Azusa stood frozen in place; her mouth worked, but she seemed unable to form words to answer. Jun, however, couldn't contain her rage.
"That son of a bitch!" she hissed. "I'll tear out his throat! I'll-…How could he-…to Ui…" Unable to continue, she buried her face in her hands, and her shoulders began to heave. In response, the unknown woman placed a comforting hand on Jun's shoulder and leaned over to whisper into her ear. Whatever she said appeared to have an almost magical effect, because with a deep, shuddering breath, Jun was back in control, wiping her face on her sleeve.
"Sorry, Ui," she mumbled remorsefully, looking away in embarrassment. "That little outburst…it's like I'm a little kid or something. I didn't mean to make things worse for you."
"It's okay," the younger Hirasawa assured her, clasping her distraught friend's hands affectionately. "You don't know how glad I am to see you, Jun-chan. And Azusa-chan, too. I've missed you both so much."
"We've missed you, too, Ui," Azusa answered quietly. "But to see you like this…I'm really sorry…"
As her petite friend's voice trailed off, Ui merely nodded, afraid she'd cry again if she tried to respond. Instead, she turned her attention to Jun's tall companion. Uncomfortable at showing such weakness in front of a stranger, she eyed the woman warily. Despite her caution, something in her muddled brain told her that this was no casual acquaintance of her sister or friends, and that the woman's presence was anything but random. Ui felt as if she should know her.
"Takeda Natsumi," the woman said somberly, seemingly reading Ui's mind. "Please, call me Tori. Nice to meet you."
The light of recognition dawned in Ui's mind. This was Azusa's friend from junior high, the one she had recruited for the new band.
"Miyashiro Ui," she replied, forcing herself to speak the now-detested name. "Nice to meet you, as well. I'm sorry for my appearance. It's just disgraceful."
"Please, it's no problem," was Tori's earnest rejoinder. "You're Jun's important friend, and Yui-san's sister, so it's an honor."
Ui noted her omission of the honorific from Jun's name, then immediately wondered why that should surprise her. As she glanced at her pigtailed friend, who was wrapped around one of Tori's arms, she kicked herself mentally for not remembering sooner that the two women were in a relationship. Then again, she wasn't currently at the peak of her reasoning powers. In fact, she was feeling worse by the minute.
"I didn't mean to overwhelm you with people," Yui apologized. "It's just that I thought you'd like it if we were all here to meet you."
"No, no, it's okay," Ui insisted. "Thank you for bringing them, Onē-chan. It's so good to see everyone again…you have…no…idea…"
Her knees buckled again, and she clutched at her sister in an effort to keep from falling.
"Oh, no!" Yui gasped. "What am I thinking? You need to sit down!"
With Yui and Jun's help, Ui sank to the bench, grateful that she didn't have to stand any longer. She was bone tired, and her injuries hurt to the point that the pain was intruding on her ability to think clearly. The exhausting journey from Fukuoka had finally caught up with her, and she needed medicine and rest. As much as she didn't want Yui to worry, she didn't think she could hide it any longer. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Instead, the station concourse began to tilt and rotate around her, spinning ever faster by the second.
"Hey, are you okay?" came Yui's anxious question. "Ui? Ui!"
"I'll…be all right…just a bit…lightheaded…"
Even as she said it, she knew it wasn't true. She had reached her limit. As her vision began to tunnel to darkness, she managed to say one last thing.
"Onē-chan…hospital…"
5/29/2016, 9:11 am
Yui's Suite, The Carriage House, Kotobuki Family Estate, Naganumamachi 598, Hachiōji
It was one of those mornings where Ui's brain needed to catch up to her body. By the time she finally realized she was awake, her eyes had already been open for some time, staring vacantly at the ceiling. Unsure of where she was at first, she spent a moment or two racking her foggy brain for clues, until the memories of the previous afternoon and evening began to return.
One moment she had been sitting on a bench on the railway station concourse, talking to Yui and the others; the next thing she knew, she was lying on that same bench with four anxious faces hovering over her. That much she remembered clearly, but the images in her mind of what happened afterward were fuzzy. She was dimly aware of being treated at the hospital, and of hearing the words "dehydration" and "exhaustion," but the exact details eluded her. The only other thing she could recall clearly was Yui tucking her into bed and promising to stay nearby while she slept.
Ordinarily, she would have long since been up and about her morning routine, but the mattress was so soft, and the covers so warm, that she was content simply to lie there doing nothing. The lack of motivation was directly related to the pain medication, she knew, but although her rational mind pushed her to get out of bed and clean herself up, her body didn't seem to want to take the advice.
"What time is it?" she wondered aloud, not addressing anyone in particular.
"A little after 9:00."
With effort, Ui rolled over to look at the speaker, who was sitting in the easy chair on the other side of the bedroom.
"Onē-chan!"
Yui rose to her feet with a welcoming smile that instantly bathed Ui in comfort. How she'd missed the sight of her sister's face during her bleak sojourn in Fukuoka.
"Good morning! Man, you sure slept for a long time. That's some pretty serious stuff they've got you on."
Ui yawned and stretched, then sank back against the pillow.
"How long have I been asleep?"
Tapping a finger against her chin, Yui did a bit of mental figuring.
"Let's see…I think it was around 18:00 last night before I finally got you settled. You've been out like a light for about 15 hours."
After taking a second look at Yui, Ui realized that she was still wearing the same clothes she'd had on at the train station.
"Onē-chan , you've been sitting there this entire time?" she gasped.
Yui rubbed the back of her head and giggled sheepishly.
"Well, not exactly. Azusa, Mugi-chan and I all took turns watching you. Azusa's sleeping in one of the guest rooms, and Mugi-chan went back to her own apartment down the hall after her last turn ended. That was, oh…a couple hours ago, I guess. But yeah, when I wasn't in here, I was sleeping on the couch in the other room."
"Ts-tsumugi-san was here?" Ui stammered, hoping Yui wouldn't notice the sudden rush of blood to her cheeks. "Oh, no. She saw me like this, too. I'm so ashamed…"
Yui crossed the room and sat on the side of the bed. With a gentle touch, she smoothed a few stray locks away from Ui's swollen, blackened eye, then continued to stroke her sister's hair tenderly.
"Sure, you look a bit worse for the wear, but come on! After what happened, none of us think any less of you for it. Especially Mugi-chan. She was the only one Azusa and I couldn't talk out of helping us take care of you. You know her – there was no way she was going to take no for an answer, especially because it's you."
At Yui's revelation that Mugi had sat up part of the night with her while she slept, Ui's cheeks got a bit pinker. It was a complication she hadn't foreseen, because in her rush to leave Fukuoka, she had completely forgotten that Yui was living with Mugi. After what had happened between her and Mugi back in college, Ui was so overcome with guilt that she hadn't been able to face the blonde. The only time the two had communicated in over two years was at Ui's wedding reception, and it had been so hard to deal with the hurt in Mugi's eyes on that day that Ui had found it easier simply to cut off contact completely. After Ui had turned her back like that, Mugi had every right to resent her, yet here she was, not only willing but eager to extend Ui a helping hand. To aid someone she was at odds with was exactly the sort of thing Mugi would do, and it heaped further guilt on Ui like a load of hot coals.
Realizing that this line of thinking would only lead her into a death spiral of regret, she decided to change the subject away from Mugi before Yui started asking questions she didn't want to answer. Fortunately, her sister was the type who was easily distracted.
"What about Jun-chan and, uh, what's her name…Takeda-san?"
"Tori-san took Jun-chan home when we left the train station for the hospital. Jun-chan's really struggling over this, and so's Ricchan. She and Mio-chan were here with me for a while last night while you were sleeping. I haven't seen Ricchan get that angry in a long time. It was a little scary."
Ui let out a long, frustrated sigh. Suddenly, she felt weighed down with remorse over making everyone worry. The sense of worthlessness Yasu had beaten into her, literally and figuratively, began to cover her mind again like a black cloud.
"You guys don't need to make such a fuss over me. I'm not worth the trouble."
"No more of that kind of talk," Yui quickly countered, her tone uncharacteristically sharp. "You are worth the trouble. You're my precious Ui, my only little sister. When we were growing up, you were always the one to take care of me, and now I'm going to protect you the way I should have all along. And it goes beyond just me. Azusa, Jun-chan, the girls in the band…everyone you've given so much to, they could never abandon you, not any more than I ever could."
Ui looked away so that Yui couldn't see her fighting back tears.
"Thank you, Onē-chan," she murmured.
"For what?" was Yui's perplexed response.
"For taking me in. For not saying it's my fault. For not judging me for marrying…him."
"It's okay," Yui said soothingly, her fingers stroking Ui's cheek. "We'll get through this. Forget about him for now, and just relax. How are you feeling?"
After dabbing at her eyes with a corner of the sheet – and grunting when she pressed a bit too firmly on her injured eyebrow – Ui took a moment to do a quick inventory. The discomfort from her injuries was barely noticeable, and although she still had a bit of a headache, she felt neither disoriented nor lightheaded. The long hours of uninterrupted sleep, combined with the medication, had helped immensely.
"I'm doing pretty well, certainly better than yesterday. At this point, I just need rest more than anything."
Yui patted Ui's hand encouragingly.
"You certainly look comfortable right now. Geez, you don't know how tempting it was to crawl in next to you. I mean, you looked so lonely in that bed by yourself. But then grown-ups don't do that sort of thing, right? So I just stayed here in the chair in case you needed me."
As childish as it seemed, the thought of them lying in bed together, something they hadn't done since Yui left for college, suddenly appealed very strongly to Ui. Wordlessly, she slid over and pulled down the covers, patting the mattress next to her. Yui looked at her in momentary surprise before climbing into the bed, snuggling against her and wrapping her arm around Ui's waist, taking care to avoid putting weight on her tender left side. Ui wound an arm around Yui's neck and pulled her close, taking comfort in her sister's warmth. Cuddling with Yui for the first time in years made her feel both secure and wanted in a way she never had with Yasu.
It felt so nice to be held like this. For someone like Ui, who like Yui tended to demonstrate her closeness to others through skinship, life with Yasu had been miserable. He had seldom touched her, except when he was physically abusing her, or when they engaged in the uncomfortable and unfulfilling act of submission he referred to as "sex." A single affectionate caress, even if it was platonic, was worth far more to her than hours of lying under a man whose only thought was to please himself.
Neither woman spoke as they lay in each other's arms. For Ui, her sister's mere presence was enough, and she was in no hurry for the moment to end. Unfortunately, before too many minutes had passed, the quiet of the bedroom was disturbed by a loud, growling noise from Ui's stomach. Before she could apologize, Yui giggled.
"Oops! Sounds like someone's hungry. I guess you would be after sleeping for so long. I'm hungry, too. Some of the chef's special miso soup would really hit the spot right now. How about I ask the kitchen to send up some breakfast?"
"Oh, I wouldn't want them to go to the trouble," Ui replied anxiously.
"It's the kitchen staff's job to cook for guests," Yui reminded her as she rolled over and sat up, dangling her legs over the side of the bed. She shot a warning look over her shoulder at Ui. "Don't even think about going down there and fixing your own food. You need to let someone else to do the work for a change. How else are you going to rest?"
With a nod and shrug, Ui capitulated. Yui's logic was unassailable in this case, and besides, she was starving.
"Okay, then, why don't you get washed up while I call downstairs and see what's on this morning's menu?" Yui suggested, although it was really more of an order. "After you're done, I'll jump in the shower. Azusa told me to let her sleep if you woke up early, so it'll be just the two of us."
Ui smiled gratefully up at her older sister.
"Just us? I'd like that. It's been so long."
It was Ui's first exposure to the cuisine at the Carriage House, and she was unprepared for how good it was. Everything about the traditional Japanese breakfast was perfect, from the rice to the grilled fish. The miso soup, which she had heard Yui praise many times, was unlike any she'd ever tasted. The stock was so rich, and the tofu and shiitake mushrooms added such interesting texture, that she thought about asking the chef to give her some pointers so she could duplicate the recipe in her own kitchen.
Then it hit her: she no longer had a kitchen to prepare meals in. Her days as a homemaker were over, at least for the foreseeable future. She had mixed feelings about that, because although she had been cooking and cleaning for a man who didn't appreciate her efforts, she still got a sense of satisfaction out of keeping a tidy home. To sit around and have someone else do all those things she was accustomed to doing herself felt strange.
With more than a hint of bitterness, she told herself that she might still be cooking breakfast in her own kitchen in Fukuoka, if only she hadn't been so greedy about wanting to play her guitar. If only she'd worked harder to make herself more appealing, or done more to live up to Yasu's expectations. If only she'd taken the time to find a man who truly valued her. If only, if only, if only.
It's all my fault. I'm so stupid. Who would want the likes of me? No wonder he beat me up.
Yui picked up on her mood shift instantly.
"Are you all right? You look sad again."
"I'll be fine," she answered, shaking her head and forcing a smile. The reaction came almost automatically, conditioned into her from years of shielding her problems from others. Yui, however, was not buying it.
"You're not fine, Ui. I won't let you get away with stuffing everything inside anymore. I can't help unless I know what happened, so why don't you take some time and tell me, okay?"
She led Ui from the table to the sofa, and as the two women sat down next to each other, she took one of Ui's hands in hers. Not only was it a comforting gesture, it was also a silent signal that Yui would still accept her, no matter what sordid details she revealed.
So Ui told the full story of her ordeal, and held nothing back: the constant belittling she had endured, to the point she felt utterly demoralized and helpless; the suffocating control Yasu had imposed on her, and the crushing sense of isolation that came with it; and worst of all, the alcohol-fueled physical violence that had escalated bit by bit until it finally put her in the hospital and made her fear for her life. It was traumatic to let out all the pent-up hurt and anger and shame, but she forced herself to do it, because she wanted Yui to know every detail. By the time she was done, there was a pile of damp, crumpled tissues on the coffee table.
"I felt my only choice was to come here," she finished, staring down at the latest tissue, which she twisted idly in her hands. "But now I've made my problems your problems, and it isn't fair to you. Oh, Onē-chan, I feel so worthless!"
Her lower lip started quivering, a sign that she was perilously close to tears again. She looked up into her sister's face, searching it for a reaction, and saw there not only the reassurance and understanding she so badly needed, but also sadness and anger. After a long moment, the tears filling Yui's eyes finally spilled over, running down her cheeks in long, glistening tracks.
"Why didn't you tell me he was hitting you?" she choked. "Why?"
As Yui threw her arms around her, Ui's frail curtain of composure was instantly torn to shreds. Unable to respond to the question even if she wanted to, she simply clung to her older sister, ignoring the pain that drilled into her side as the sobs wracked her body.
Despite how overwhelming the emotional release was, for Yui to hold her and cry along with her made her feel as though she'd taken the first step toward healing. As Azusa had always said, Yui had the power to make the bad things in this world fade to irrelevance with a single hug. It was certainly true in this case, and the flood of emotion soon ebbed away as Ui rested in Yui's warm embrace.
"I'm really up against it," she finally managed to say as the two women let go of each other and wiped their eyes. "It's humiliating to be so blunt, but I really have no choice. I have maybe ¥10,000 to my name, and not much more than the clothes on my back. I need a permanent place to stay and a job. And I need a lawyer, a really good one, so I can deal with Yasu."
"The first thing we need to do is make sure you're safe," Yui replied. "That's what Azusa said, anyway. She went online last night and found out that if you go the prefectural women's shelter to report what happened, they'll help you apply for an emergency restraining order. We can do that tomorrow morning. As far as a place to stay, this is pretty much it, since Mom and Dad sold the house when they moved to the States. Mugi-chan said she'd set you up in one of the guest rooms."
"Oh, I could never accept that kind of generosity," Ui immediately objected, the blush once again creeping over her cheeks at the mention of Mugi's name. "I'm grateful I got to stay here last night, but Tsumugi-san doesn't need to-…"
Yui cut her off abruptly.
"Ui, stop it. Mugi-chan wants to do this. Like I told you, she insisted on getting involved from the very beginning. When I asked her why she was pushing so hard, all she'd say was that she was trying to make things right. I don't know what that means, because I've stayed out of things between you two, but this is no time to dig up past drama."
Ui knew she was right, but it didn't make her feel any better. She wondered about the blonde's motives. Why would she want to make things right? I was the one who hurt her, not the other way around. This is just making things more confusing for me.
"Besides, there's something else you should take into account," Yui continued, appearing not to notice Ui's sudden attack of uncertainty. "This compound is one of the safest places to live in Hachiōji. That's why Mio-chan, Ricchan and I live here in the first place, remember? If Miyashiro decides to violate that court order, he'd never be able to get past the Kotobuki security contingent."
The possibility of Yasu coming after her was something Ui hadn't considered, and it sent a thrill of fear through her. Suddenly, dealing with the complicated situation with Mugi seemed a lot less intimidating than facing potential violence from her estranged husband.
"All right, I agree that staying here is the safest option," she conceded. "But what about hiring a lawyer? I couldn't ask you to pay for that. That's why I need to find a job."
"My frugal sister hasn't changed a bit," Yui chuckled. "Mugi-chan's father is going to hook us up with a classmate of his, a really high-powered lawyer. I'll pay the fees. Trust me, Ui, I'm not exactly struggling financially. I learned how to save money from you, of course, and now I have a ton of it. It's just going to sit in my investment account if I don't spend it on something. Besides, since Mom and Dad aren't around, you're my responsibility now that you've left…that guy. You need to let me take care of you."
"But I should at least contribute in some way," Ui protested.
"You'll get your chance," Yui assured her. "We'll need to find you a job, anyway, because otherwise you'll go crazy sitting around doing nothing. But you need to heal first before there's any talk of that. Until then, I've got things covered. I'll buy you all new clothes, a new phone, another acoustic to replace your Yamaha…everything you need. After what you've been through, you're long overdue for some pampering."
With a sigh, Ui capitulated. Yui was simply too determined.
"Thank you, Onē-chan. I'll repay you someday, and Tsumugi-san, and everyone else, too."
Yui waved a hand dismissively.
"I'm just trying to be a proper big sister, that's all. Hey, it's almost 10:30, and I should probably go wake up Azusa. She wants to spend some time with you, and so do Jun-chan and the others. If you're up to it, that is. I don't want you to overextend yourself."
The thought of being surrounded by friends again felt liberating to Ui, as though her soul was emerging from a dungeon after a long imprisonment. In particular, she longed to see Azusa and Jun again; she'd barely gotten to do more than greet them at the station.
"I'll be fine, Onē-chan, really."
5/29/2016, 8:55 pm
Ui's Guestroom, The Carriage House
With a satisfied sigh, Ui loosened the belt on her bathrobe and sank into the soft, overstuffed cushions of the easy chair next to the bed. Although her head and side still throbbed, the ache wasn't enough to disturb the serenity that came from her first proper bath in three days.
Once she got situated, she reached for her tablet computer – miraculously, Yasu had spared it during his rage – and tried to resume reading the josei manga she had been engrossed in earlier. Unfortunately, she had trouble focusing after that long-overdue soak in hot water. After a while, she gave up trying to follow the story, and put the tablet aside, choosing instead to stare into space and simply relax.
The staff had set her up on the top floor, in a western-style room with a private bath right down the hallway from Yui's suite. It was three times the size of a typical Japanese bedroom, but it still felt cozy to Ui. Although it wasn't as luxurious a set-up as her sister enjoyed, it still felt as though she was vacationing at a large inn in the country. She decided she could get used to this kind of life, at least for a couple weeks while her injuries healed; at that point, she'd need to find work somewhere. Even if Yui refused to let her pay for anything, she still needed some activity that would distract her from her troubles. Besides, it was against her nature simply to lie around doing nothing. For now, though, it was enough to rest and recuperate, and to enjoy Mugi's hospitality.
Ui wondered when she was finally going to come face to face with the ojō. Despite Yui's report that Mugi had helped care for her that first night, the blonde had not been among the constant parade of visitors she'd had all afternoon. Ui didn't mind that so much; she was in no particular hurry to see Mugi, because she remembered how painful it had been the last time, and wasn't sure she could go through it again. Still, they couldn't avoid each other indefinitely.
The tablet began to buzz, signaling that it was time to take her medications. After tapping at the screen to shut off the alarm, she gingerly pulled herself out of the easy chair and began to open her collection of medicine bottles. Just as she washed the pills down with a glass of water from the carafe on the nearby dresser, there was a knock at the door. That must be Onē-chan checking up on me, she smiled inwardly.
"Come in," she called.
"Sorry to intrude." The voice was definitely not her sister's. When Ui saw who her visitor was, she nearly dropped her water glass. The cry of recognition burst out of her before she could stop it, more of a gasp than actual speech.
"Tsumugi-san!"
Although Ui had seen plenty of online pictures and video clips of Mugi over the past 13 months, no image on the internet could ever compare to the real thing, and in this case, reality was as spectacular as ever. Mugi's honey-blonde hair was hanging in a long, heavy braid that looked like spun gold. Clad in a simple white dress with navy-blue trim, her skin as pale as fine porcelain, she looked almost angelic. She was so beautiful it made Ui's heart hurt.
The stunned brunette stood frozen in place, wanting to look away but somehow not able to. Her face felt as if it was on fire. For her part, Mugi gazed back at her with an uncertain smile, her cheeks as rosy as Ui's must have been. There was no sign of anger or contempt in those sapphire-blue eyes, as Ui had feared. On the contrary, they held an ocean of warmth and affection, the way Ui remembered them from the old days, back when her friendship with Mugi was at the peak of its intensity.
"Ui-chan," came the return greeting. How musical her name sounded when Mugi spoke it. Part of her wanted to respond by running to the blonde and clasping her hands affectionately, the way she used to, but it was as if her shame had anchored her in place. All she could do was stand there, staring.
"Ts-tsumugi-…s-san…uh…w-what a s-s-surprise…" she stammered.
The blonde twiddled her fingers nervously.
"I'm really sorry to impose like this, but…well, I know that you were probably expecting Yui-chan…but, um, Ricchan and I both wanted a turn, and when Yui-chan said 'no'…well, we, uh…sort of challenged her to a game of jan-ken-pon…and the winner got to come remind you to take your medicine."
"Jan-ken-pon…?" Ui repeated.
The pink on Mugi's cheeks deepened to scarlet.
"Uh…yeah. As you can see, I won. Yay, me!"
With a nervous laugh, she weakly pumped her fist.
The mental picture of the three women playing the traditional game like a pack of squabbling elementary-school girls, with Ritsu and Yui pouting after their inevitable loss, was so funny that Ui began to giggle in spite of herself. After a moment, Mugi joined her, her laughter sounding like the tinkling of bells to Ui's ears. The awkwardness between them seemed to evaporate into thin air.
"Onē-chan and Ritsu-san never beat you at that game," Ui chuckled.
Mugi smiled knowingly.
"That's why I challenged them. I wanted to come visit you. In fact, I've been holding back since you woke up this morning, because I was afraid you didn't want to see me. Yui-chan told me I didn't need to worry, but, well…I still felt I needed a purpose for dropping by. I was being silly, wasn't I?"
"You really didn't need a reason," Ui agreed.
"Well I guess it doesn't really matter, now that I'm here," the blonde said, her tone still a bit self-conscious. "Anyway, Yui-chan said you were due to take your medicine at 21:00, and that you'd be going to bed right after that."
Ui gestured toward the pill bottles.
"I was just taking them when you got here."
"Are you doing well?" Mugi asked, wringing her hands anxiously. "I've been so worried about you. This is such an ugly business…and of all the people for it to happen to…"
Ui put the empty glass back on the dresser and smiled gratefully.
"Thanks for being so concerned, but please don't worry about me. I may look a bit rugged, but my head's clear, and that's the main thing. I'll be okay as long as I rest."
Mugi nodded her understanding.
"I won't keep you from it, then. Maybe we can catch up over tea when you're feeling a bit stronger. In the meantime, if there's anything you need, call me any time, day or night, okay? You have my number now. At least that's what Yui-chan told me. Sleep well, Ui-chan."
As Mugi made her way to the guestroom door, Ui wondered how she should react. The brief visit had not gone how she'd expected. Mugi's gentle, accepting demeanor had blown her fear of rejection away like fallen leaves before an autumn wind. In fact, it didn't seem as though Mugi bore her any ill will at all. Impulsively, she decided that now was as good a time as any to begin to clear the air between them.
"Tsumugi-san, wait. Don't go."
Mugi turned toward Ui, her bushy eyebrows raised.
"Are you sure it's okay? I wouldn't want you to push yourself too hard."
This time, Ui met her eyes without flinching.
"Please…I want you to stay."
A relieved smile crept across Mugi's pale features.
"I'd like that."
The two women sat at the dining table near the door. For a brief moment, the awkwardness returned as Ui fumbled with the tie of her bathrobe, frantically trying to think of something to say. It had been so long since she and Mugi had had a proper conversation – over two years – that she really didn't know where to start. I need to apologize, but I'm too scared to come right out and do it. I need to ease into it. Maybe I should start by-…
"I'm sorry, Ui-chan."
The choked-out words brought the brunette's racing thoughts to a screeching halt. Were those tears in Mugi's eyes?
"Tsumugi-san…I don't understand…"
Mugi's response poured from her like a raging river through a broken dam.
"I'm sorry for what happened back then…for confessing to you when I knew there was no way you could accept me. I was so selfish. I thought if you knew my feelings, it might make a difference, but it seemed that all I did was hurt you. When you started avoiding me, I knew I'd destroyed our precious friendship. I never bargained for that. It was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made. I never should have said anything…never should have added to your burden. I'm really sorry to unload like this, but I've wanted to make things right for so long that…oh, Ui-chan…can you ever forgive me?"
As Mugi dabbed at her moist cheeks with a handkerchief, Ui slumped back in her chair, dumbfounded. Normally, to see the ojō upset like this would have gutted her, but she was too shocked by the blonde's statement to react to her display of emotion. Never in a million years had she expected this. Mugi wasn't the guilty party here; she was.
"But…but…I'm the one to blame for everything, not you," she objected. "There's no way you could ever hurt me with a confession like that. It was one of the most beautiful things that's ever happened to me. I wanted to accept you, I really did, but you know why I couldn't. I had a duty to my parents, and I needed to protect Onē-chan's dreams. But that look on your face when I refused you…I couldn't handle it, so I ran away. I'm the one who deserves the blame for what happened between us. I'm the one who needs to apologize to you. I'm really sorry, Tsumugi-san. I never meant to hurt you. Please, forgive me."
Now it was Mugi's turn to gape at Ui. The two women stared at each other, speechless for a long moment, until the truth sank in. It was the blonde who broke the silence.
"So you thought it was your fault, and I thought it was my fault…"
"…and because of that we wasted two years," Ui added lamely. "We're both idiots, aren't we?"
Gently, almost shyly, Mugi reached across the table and covered Ui's hand with her own. Her touch felt as soft and warm as ever, and the brunette's mind immediately went fuzzy around the edges. It's the medicine, she told herself. It's got to be the pills. There's nothing left from that time…is there?
"My feelings for you…well, they're not something I could let go of so easily," Mugi continued. "But two years is a long time, and with all you're going through, I don't want to distract you or push myself on you."
She looked at Ui hopefully.
"We're probably never going to get back to where we were the night I confessed, but do you think that maybe we can start over? You know, from the time we became friends?"
With this tacit confirmation of Mugi's unconditional forgiveness, Ui felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. All the same, her mind was in overdrive as she tried to process what had happened over the past few minutes. Reconciliation aside, people didn't simply fill in two years of space in an instant. It had taken her a lot of effort to get over what had happened back then. Now that they were back in each other's lives, Ui was not at all sure how the process of reviving their friendship would go, or even how she wanted it to go. Mugi was a passionate woman, the only true romantic Ui had ever known. Back in college, she had been swept along with the blonde's tide, falling for her faster and harder than she'd expected. But that seemed like a time long ago, back in the days before she and Mugi lost their innocence to the real world that lay outside the shelter of the JWU campus.
Things were different now. Facing a nasty divorce and needing to rebuild her life from scratch, she wasn't sure she wanted to head down that same road. And she knew that's what Mugi wanted. She could see in those sparkling eyes that despite all that had happened, the blonde had never stopped loving her, and never gotten over her. That knowledge threatened to awaken something within her she thought was long dead, something whose presence she wasn't sure she wanted to deal with.
I can't handle this, she protested inwardly, willing her fingers not to tremble under Mugi's. Not now, not with my life a shambles. It's too much. Besides, this is Tsumugi-san. She deserves the best, someone worthy of her, not damaged goods like me. I don't want her to think I'm rejecting her again…but she needs to understand that we can't go back to where we were so easily.
Moving deliberately so she didn't give the wrong impression, she removed her hand and hid it in her lap, where the blonde couldn't see it shake.
"There's just so much going on in my life right now, and it's all so confusing. Can we take things really slowly?"
Thankfully, rather than showing discouragement as Ui had feared, the blonde was practically glowing.
"We can," she promised. "Just the fact that we're speaking again is more than I ever expected. It's enough for me to stay in the background, helping you when and where I can. Maybe we can start with that?"
That sounded fair, Ui decided, so she nodded her agreement. In response, Mugi stood, preparing once again to leave. Trying to be polite, Ui stood along with her, only to lurch against the table as the dizzy spell hit her. Steadying herself, she smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry…those pills…"
"You're looking a bit pale, so you should probably lie down," the blonde worried. "I guess the drugs are working, huh? Well, I need to be a polite guest and leave you to your privacy."
She headed for the door, but before leaving, she turned to Ui one final time.
"I've missed you, Ui-chan, probably more than you realize. What's happened to you is simply awful, but…maybe something good came out of it. For both of us, that is."
"I've missed you, too," Ui answered truthfully. "Thank you for everything. I'll repay you someday."
"Don't even think of it as an obligation," Mugi countered. "I've always been generous to my friends, and never expected anything in return. It's how I show that I…care for them."
With another of those gentle, upper-class smiles, she excused herself. As the door closed behind her, Ui felt a sudden flash of disappointment that Mugi hadn't stayed longer. Shaking it off, she crawled wearily into bed, giving up the fight against the effects of the medication. As sleep descended, Mugi's final words echoed in her mind.
…maybe something good came out of it…
Ui thought she just might be right. There was a silver lining to every cloud, after all.
A/N:
− As always, thanks go to my faithful editor, Musician74, for beta-reading this chapter.
− An eye orbit blow-out fracture is a crack or break in the floor of the eye socket. It's usually caused by blunt force trauma to the eye area, such as a punch. In the case of a simple crack, ice and medication are the usual treatment. Surgery isn't usually necessary unless the break is significant enough to affect the motion of the eye. For the purposes of this story, Ui has the simplest kind of blow-out, and it serves more as a source of lingering discomfort than anything else.
− In 2001, the Japanese government passed a law giving protection to victims of domestic violence. Without going into too much detail, the law provides for prefectural-level shelters victims can go to for refuge, and they can apply for a six-month no-contact order, and the aggressor can also be banned from the shared residence for up to two weeks so the victim can recover their personal belongings. Unfortunately, the law still places the burden of proof on the victim. Sadly, few victims, particularly women, take advantage of the benefits of the law. Many are pressured to keep domestic disputes private, and to resolve them within the family. Often, this does little to break the cycle of abuse.
Thanks for reading this chapter! Like it? Have some constructive criticism? Submit a comment below!
