It's time. Time to complain. I don't own any characters, nor do I own any specific places. Ask yourself, can you really own anything outside your own mind? Well, whatever the answer may be I don't earn anything by writing this in this day and age. Don't sue me. Be grateful for J K Rowling who wrote the Harry Potter books that made this fan fiction possible. And while you're at it, be somewhat grateful to me for writing at all, and for all other authors and other artists out there. And the rest of the creation we know as the universe. If it is a creation…. Whatever.

The Talk.

Dumbledore had sent an owl to Harry several days ago requesting the meeting that was soon to commence. Harry had fretted since the moment he received the note. Dumbledore had written; it's time for the talk. Meet me this Friday in my office after classes.

Harry had heard awful things about The Talk. And really, he knew those things… birds and horses right? Babies grew in laboratories, so had the TV claimed that one time so long ago…

The situation would never have occurred if Albus had been a little more in contact with the times and the muggle world. But you can't have everything.

Harry walked slowly out of potions. He had tried everything he could think of to make the class last as long as possible, and when it was over he tried to stay as long as he could in the classroom. He was the first one out. There was more then half the lesson time left.

Who ever would have thought that his intense focus and shifting of ingredients to make a mess on purpose would lead to a major breakthrough within potion making? There was from this day forward a solution called Presto, which halved the stirring time with all potions. Oh well, it obviously wasn't his day. Snape had even chosen to reward him by allowing him to leave class before the bell rung. Great, he didn't even receive points. And his entire potion kit was being confiscated…

Now there was only the Meeting to look forward too. He walked as slowly as he could. He stumbled on one of the armours on purpose so that he could be delayed. It sort of fell, but then caught itself and revealed a secret entrance. Feeling just a bit exited at the new find he entered and walked in normal speed for the suspiciously short length of secret corridor. When he then stepped out of a stone arc that was reversible and noticed that he had ended up just inside the headmaster's stairwell he stopped and banged his head to the wall a few time.

This really wasn't his day. Or it really was… who knows?

In his office Dumbledore was writing in his candy journal. Today I have eaten candy. It had been a free gift at the ACA, Anonymous Candy Addicts, meeting he was forced to attend. It had all started with a sudden need for sugar on a vacation to muggle candy factories. He had forgotten to bring his own, and had proceeded to rob the place. He had apologised and all, but he really wasn't such a good person when low on sugar. That was why he didn't stop eating sweets. People sometimes thought he was being overly dramatic about it, but really, last time someone refused to give him candy for an extended period of time he had killed that person. It had been his best friend, who went by the name Gellert Grindelwald, and by some stroke of luck it turned out he was a dark lord so no one pressed charges. Not that he would ever tell anyone the real reason Grindelwald died, if he did he would probably lose his job. And besides, wasn't it punishment enough that he had to live with the knowledge of the murder?

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and it opened before he had the chance to say anything. It was a great shock for the both of them. Albus hadn't had unexpected guests in the last sixty years, since the griffin always informed him of who came and went, and Harry had never seen an old man have a heart attack before. Luckily for Dumbledore he fell on one of his little silver instruments and it gave him such a jolt that his heart started beating again.

The instrument was ruined though, which had to be kept secret at all costs. He had borrowed that one from the ministry, it was meant to check any magic cast at number four privet drive Surrey. If Harry ever found out it was gone… but he wouldn't.

"Harry!" *cough* *cough*

"Headmaster… is this really necessary? I saw it on TV a few years ago you know."

"You what?! But how can they have found out? And they are only muggles surly not…"

"Err, Sir, muggles reproduce as well."

"Reproduce? What are you talking about my boy?"

Harry didn't answer; instead he sat down in a comfy chair and pretended he hadn't spoken a word since entering the office. He was also beet red.

Dumbledore looked at him suspiciously before he sat down carefully in his own chair. He took a piece of candy from the bowl on his desk, like always when he felt a bit homicidal.

"Harry, last year you brought back the dark lord. I figured it was time you knew the whole prophesy." He used his stern voice.

"There's a prediction?"

"I knew I had forgotten something." "There is."

"Well, as long as you're aware of that I don't believe in fate."

At this point the headmaster began to wonder what he ever did to deserve this student, hadn't he done everything possible to make the child listen to him? He explained about the prophesy to Harry, and that it didn't matter whether he believed in it or not. If the dark lord did, he would come after him. He'd thought he'd finish of with a flourish, and tried to with a few well selected words.

"The power you hold my boy, the power the dark lord cannot understand and thus do not know, do you know what it is? I imagine you do not. It is love Harry. When Lily sacrificed herself for you her love left a mark on you, a mark that will always be there, almost as if it was a layer of skin that protects you from harm."

Harry was staring at him.

"I see that you do not believe me, but it is the simple truth."

"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but while you told me about this prophesy thing I thought it was pretty obvious what my power is."

"Oh, do tell."

"Well, I, Hermione and Ron have been talking about this problem during the summer holiday and…"

"But you didn't find out about it until a few minutes ago."

"Not the prophesy thing, the dark lord. We figured he was after me and has been for some years now, but I always manage to escape through some weird happenings. The thing is I have no control over it, and that needed to be corrected."

"I'm afraid I'm not quite following."

"Surely you have noticed it headmaster. Even Luna did."

"You cannot mean to…"

"I already have. I've created a spell to make them."

"Harry…"

"I can make buttons everywhere! Wha ha ha ha ha!"

Harry got out of his chair and left for an unknown destination.

"Oh no, what has he done. Fawks, have we lost another one?"

The majestic bird remained silent but its' eyes were sad. Albus sighted deeply, and started planning for the fall of the next dark lord. The question was who would be willing to get rid of a major source of Entertainment. The current students were all lost to the fun lovers…

Later that evening in Gryffindor common room a chess tournament was taking place. Ron was banned from it, it was a yearly tradition and when Ron won in his first year they decided on a new rule. No previous winners allowed. It wouldn't have come to this is the poor boy had simply won. But since it had been a downright slaughter that year, some of the sixth years still had nightmares from the carnage, the rule was a necessary evil. Another rule was put into place at the same time; it was no longer allowed to charm the pieces to bleed. Ron still claimed that it was the blood that caused the nightmares and not his strategy but Harry didn't believe him. After all, he had never won a game between the two of them.

The current crowd gatherer was the game in-between Harry and Hermione. Not because of the excellently preformed manoeuvres, that just wasn't there, but because of the discussion that was taking place.

"So it wasn't about birds and bees then?"

"I thought it was horses? But no it wasn't"

"Maybe someone should have that conversation with you Harry."

"It's not necessary I tell you, I've seen it on the telly years ago. All about test tubes and small needles, then you put the babies inside the mothers…"

People were staring at the poor boy, but he didn't notice.

"Harry… *sight* what did you talk about then?"

"Just things, it seems as if I'm the only one that can off Voldemort if we let some prophesy decide what to do. Headmaster was trying to make me believe that love is a special power. I think it's quite obviously not. Buttons are."

"You told him?! Have you even tested it yet?"

"Well see how well it works tomorrow morning. Look at the staff table."

"Sorry for interrupting, but what are you on about?"

"Hi Gred, it's a new spell I made. It creates buttons, I'm going to defeat Voldemort with it."

"But don't you usually create buttons without the spell? It seems a bit unnecessary to do a spell for something that happens anyway, doesn't it?"

"Well, now everyone can do it! Not just me. Want to learn?"

"…"

"You're my favourite fake brother you know."

"I can't learn, Fawkon will kill me if I do."

"Oh please Ron, what can one little phoenix do?"

"You don't want to know."

The End.

Which raises the question, how did Harry create the great spell? I was thinking, and I decided all by my lonesome to write it down, just for you guys. (Whoever you are…) But before that, a slight morning after.

The morning after.

Hermione Granger had become resign with the fact that her dubious friend Harry Potter was more then likely to ask one Luna Lovegood to marry him. She had seen all the signs, the need to impress the lady, the way he sought out her company and many other little details that formed her theory. And she was somewhat glad for them, truthfully they were both good people, but a frightening image of their future children disturbed her feelings of well wishing for them. That, and the nagging worry she held that Luna might not treat Harry in the best of ways. Harry needed the best after all; he was her friend more so than Luna ever was.

This was the reason she approached the Ravenclaw table at breakfast, to speak some sense into the girl. Make her understand that she would have to treat Harry with respect even if she didn't feel like he deserved it. He could be rather taxing at times.

She slid into a seat opposite of Luna, and greeted her for the day, as she plucked her breakfast from the assorted dishes on the table.

"Did you want to ask me something, Hermione Granger?"

Luna wasn't even looking at her as she asked the question, instead choosing to focus her gaze at the head table. It instantly reminded Hermione of something Harry had said the previous day, but for the life of her she couldn't remember what it was. She shook of the disturbing feeling and turned back towards Luna.

"It's about Harry."

"Isn't it always?"

"Is it? I haven't thought about it."

"It is. You refuse to talk about the crumbled horned…"

"Anyway, as I was saying."

"About Harry."

"Right, if he asks you to marry him…"

"I'd say no."

"… and after you've said yes…"

"Won't happen."

"…then you'll have to, WHAT?"

"Really Hermione…"

Luna tore her gaze from the head table who had disappeared in a cloud of smoke, and looked Hermione in the eyes.

"…I could never marry a man with a prettier earring than me, you should know that."

"But, you're perfect for each other."

"We are not. Can you imagine how the crumble horned…"

"What does it got to do with any of this?"

"Why in the world do you think I've been looking for it? I intent to marry it of course. It is the perfect mate after all. I even promised Harry, that if the first specimen we found is a female, he can take it out on a date first."

"The first…"

"I don't care much if it is male or female, that's what magic is for after all."

"But, it's an animal, isn't it? It's not right…"

"An animal? Did Harry try to trick you again? Crumble horned is a family name. I'm looking for a very rare family of people. They're very good at hiding. But daddy promised me the perfect mate when I was little and we have been searching for him or her ever since. They are legendary! You could ask anyone."

"But I thought… And what about all the other things you talk about?"

"Just because the world we live in choose to ignore them doesn't meant they don't exist. Most of them simply live in the infrared spectrum. Have you heard of it? Even the muggles know about energy levels and wavelengths…"

"I have to talk to Ron, buy Luna."

Hermione hurried towards the Gryffindor table, spotting Ron she quickly took a seat nearby.

"Ron!"

"Hermione, did you see that, it was hilarious!"

"Not now Ron, this is important."

"You missed it? I can't believe it, the first time ever the teachers…"

"Ron! Luna, and all those creatures… are they real?"

"Oh those… well, they exist and all that, but it's not like they make any difference. Not many people bother to gather knowledge about something that can't affect the ordinary world…"

"So all this time Luna's been telling the truth?"

"I guess, but she's a bit loony you know, memorizing all that unnecessary stuff."

"I can't believe it… and crumble horned…"

"That is just a fairy tale. Everyone knows they're not real! So what if they claim the ministry have a hidden family tree somewhere, no one seen any proof for like, a hundred years."

"And why are they so special?"

Ron blushed quite a bit as he answered.

"Um, that is, they are said to be very good… at the marriage part thing…"

"You mean…?"

"Yeah, their cooking is supposed to be unparalleled."

"RON! Don't mislead me!"

"What did you think I was talking about?"

"Oh nothing, forget it. You know something?"

"What?"

"Didn't Harry say he knew how to cook? Why would he need to marry someone that was good at it as well?"

"Hermione, you know Harry. Do you actually believe him when he claims he knows cooking? He also mentioned that his relatives wouldn't eat anything he had touched for any reason."

"I didn't really consider it. But Ron, those creatures, I haven't found any reference to them anywhere. At all, isn't that a bit strange?"

"Erm, Herm, they have their own science paper? Have you herd about the Quibbler? It's like, the top of the line news on resent discoveries… maybe you should read it sometimes?"

"My world image is destroyed. So utterly obliterated…"

"Cheer up, I'll tell you about what happened to the teachers!"

The Most fantastic and Wonderful Invention in the life of one Harry Potter.

Harry had escaped the Dursleys'. The rest of the summer was in front of him and his friends were coming over. But not until tomorrow. Right now, he had the remaining Marauders all to himself, and he decided to ask them something he had wondered about for a long time.

"Hey, Paddie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what my first button was?"

"Um, what makes you think that?"

Sirius was flustered and looked everywhere but at Harry.

"You're not a very good liar are you?"

"I am too! It's just… those eyes. Lily's eyes, she could get anyone to confess."

"Oh, so about that button."

"Don't look at me! Stop! Oh alright I'll confess!"

Padfoot's memory.

Sirius stepped out of the floo, before him was his best friend James Potter, wielding a camera and looking mightily disappointed.

"That's so unfair! I'll get you next time."

"Humph, not all of us are klutz's when it comes to flooing."

"What are you implying?!"

"Nothing Prongs, but the truth."

They walked into the living room where Lily sat with Harry in her arms.

"The contract is on the table you two."

"But Lily! I'm his father."

"Don't James. Just don't. If you two are going to baby-sit him today you will sign that contract. It's necessary, trust me on this James."

Grudgingly the contract was signed. Sirius read it through before signing. No magic? Was all this necessary? Not even for diaper change?!

A few minutes later Lily had left, to attend her sister's wedding. The rest of the family wasn't invited. James and Sirius were alone with a baby.

"Is it really that bad if we use a little bit of magic?"

"Better not old friend, she spoke of impressionable magical cores or what not. I was totally gone when she reached the point, but as always with Lily; better safe then sorry."

"For you maybe…"

"And so we babysat you like normal responsible parents the whole day."

"That really doesn't really tell me anything about the button though."

"We're getting there…"

Sirius was preparing to leave, Lily would be home in a couple of minutes and everything was fine. As a final farewell to his godson he thought a prank would be just perfect.

He reached out his hand to Harry for a shake, and when little Harry grabbed his hand the magical buzz-button was revealed. The child received a good chock, but took it well and laughed. James saw the whole thing and laughed as well.

They said their goodbyes and Sirius stood up to leave. He met Lily in the door.

"Mama! Look!"

Little Harry had apparently taken quite a liking to buttons, both in appearances and magic. His first accidental piece of magic created a little yellow button on his mother's favourite shoes. After the boy pushed the button they where gone. Replaced by pretzels. Harry was overjoyed. Lily was not.

"If I find out that any of you are behind this…"

"Needless to say, we never told anyone about it. Not even Remus."

"So you're the one… Thank you so much Padfoot!"

"Sure, no worries. Just don't mention it to Lily in the after life kiddo."

Later that summer Harry recalled his strongest memory of his mother, the one were she showed him some wand motions; Hermione helped him come up with a nice word for the spell. Ronald came up with a plan to hide this information from himself so not to anger his temperamental bird. Fawkon didn't like buttons for some reason.

Thus the Button-spell was created.