A/N I changed oneline from Chapter 8 it's the second to last line. It changes the story in a small way that will make sense later. Ok here we go.

Ok think Emily you have to let Aaron know where you are. How are you going to do that?" She slowly sat up. Her muscles screaming as she moved. Ok so we still can't fight him. Think Emily think. There has to be something. From beyond the door she could hear someone moving. Crap here he comes again. Leave me alone. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but it her mental strength was fading fast. Being held captive, raped, separated from Aaron it was becoming too much. She tried to steel herself to what was coming.

The door opened, but she didn't turn to look. She knew who it was.

It was the silence that caused her to turn.

He was standing inside the room holding a syringe. He advanced slowly. He got to within five feet. A burst of fear and adrenaline hit Emliy she lunged forward grabbed the arm that held the syringe and jabbed it into his left arm. He stumbled back and slumped down against the wall.

Emily hobbled as fast as she could from the room. Her plan was different this time she knew she couldn't escape. But she could call her team and they could come get her. But first she needed a phone. She found an office she picked up the phone and dialed a very familiar number. The phone started ringing in relief she slumped against the wall.

"Hotchner."

At hearing the voice of the man she loved Emily let out a loud and contented sigh. "Oh Aaron you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice."

Aaron couldn't believe the voice he heard on the other end of the line. It had to be a dream. "Emily is that you? Please tell me it's you."

"It's me Aaron. I need a ride. Would you be so kind as to come get me?"

Hotch put his hand over his eyes, he couldn't believe she would make jokes at a time like this. "Where are you?"

"I odn't know. I'm at a farm somewhere. Have Garcia trace the call."

Hotch covered the phone as he ran out of his office. "MORGAN. get Garcia. Emily is on the phone. I need her to trace it and get us a location."

"Aaron stay with me. I need you to keep talking to me."

"I'm here. ... I love you. I should have told you sooner I know. But I need you to know. I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being."

"Emily closed her eyes and smiled. "I love you too. Just keep talking to me. Just keep talking."

"Emily what's wrong. You sound weak, tired?"

Silence was all that greeted Hotch's question. "Emily did ... did he ... did he hurt you?"

"Just come get me Aaron. I need you. Just come get me."

"Morgan where is she?"

"Garcia needs just another minute."

Horror gripped Emily's heart as she heard footsteps getting closer. No no this can't be happening not now.

Hotch could hear her breath quicken. "Emily what's going on? Emily?"

She could hear Aaron screaming in the background, but her focus was entirely on the man who entered the room. The man with a gun in his hand.

"AARON!"

A gunshot rings out. And for the briefest of moments. And for an eternity. Silence reigns. And then a scream is heard. A scream bourne of unmeasureable pain and sorrow. A scream that makes the hairs on you arms stand up. A scream that makes you regret the ability to feel.

No one moves.

The scream ends and a male voice on the other end speaks.

"There Agent Hotchner. Now we are even. I took her from you. Just like you took her from me."

Hotch's world lost all color. Wordlessly he collapses onto the floor. He can't speak. She's dead. She can't be dead. There's no world if she's not here. This is a dream. A joke. This can't be real. He looks up. "Dave tell me it's not real."

Dave can say nothing. He can only look sadly at the distraught man before him.

Hotch jumps up and grabs the lapels of Dave's suit. "Dave tell it's not real. Tell me she's alive. Tell me that madman didn't kill her. ... Tell me it's a dream Dave." He lets go of Dave and stumbles back. "It's a dream. It has to be a dream. It can't be real." He steadies himself momentarily on her desk. He stares at the unfinished paperwork, her computer, the few personal mementos on her desk.

They mock him. They remind him he failed. One more woman he loved that was dead. One more woman he couldn't save. And like before the rage instantly grew. Until in a few seconds all he can see was a red mist. His arm became a violent broom shoving all of her personal effects off of the desk. He grabs folders and rips them in half. He is screaming unintelligible words.

Morgan rushs forward and tries to grab him. He fights him off, and whirls around and punches him in the face. He is going to continue when he sees blond hair and a small woman in front of him. Someone he recognizes. Someone that breaks through the red.

He croaks. "JJ. Tell me it's not true. Tell me it's a lie JJ."

But she can't. He collapses into her arms a broken man. The tears flow from his eyes. The sobs the only sounds that can be heard in the bullpen. The team stands there, silent statues to the grief that he feels.

He cries.

Momentarily safe in JJ's arms. He cries.

He cries until there was nothing left.

He cries until he ceases to exist, and where once stood Aaron Hotchner. Now was only pain and sadness.

/

hold on to me love
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was, "I love you and I'm not afraid"
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

Closing your eyes to disappear,
You pray your dreams will leave you here;
But still you wake and know the truth,
No one is there...

Say goodnight,
Don't be afraid,
Calling me, Calling me as you fade to black.

Later the team gathers, JJ has put Hotch in his office. They stand around each waiting for the others to break the silence. Finally Dave speaks. "How is he JJ?"

"He's catatonic. It's like nothing's getting in. He just blankly stares ahead."

JJ walks over to Reid and he opens his arms for her. She mold her body into his. He says nothing just strokes her back and kisses her forehead. There are no comforting words.

Garcia nervously looks around. "What are we going to do about Jack?"

Fuck.

That was the team consensus.

What were they going to do about Jack? Had he met Emily? Were they close? How was this going to affect him?

Dave looked up. "We need to talk to Hotch."

"Dave he's not responding to anything."

"He'll respond to this."

The team walked in to the dim office moving slowly. Aaron was sitting on the couch looking straight ahead unblinking. Dave moved forward so he was in Hotch eyeline. "Aaron. Aaron can you hear me. Aaron has Jack met Emily?"

The words floated across the distance till they reached the far corners of Aaron's mind where he was hiding. Jack echoed through the vastness. What am I going to tell Jack? Is everyone he loves going to die? Is everyone I love going to die?

Hotch's eyes became focused once again. In a barely audible voice he replied. "Yeah Jack met her. He loves her. He told her ..." A mirthless chuckle escaped from his lips. "He told her, he wanted her around all the time. This is going to break his heart."

"Come on Aaron let's get you home."

/

It was late when they pulled up to Aaron's house. Jessica had waited up. "Aaron where have you been? ... Aaron what's going on? You look like Hell."

Hotch didn't say anything just walked past her towards the kitchen. Jessica watched him walk off and turned towards the team. "What was that?"

"Jessica, sit down. We need to talk."

/

He stood in front of the full bottle staring at it. Is this really how I want to deal with it? Is this really going to solve anything? ... No, but it will make me feel better. Or make me not feel anything at all. ... ... ... Fuck it.

He poured himself a liberal drink. He picked up the glass and downed the contents in one shot. He walked into the study, and sat down. He poured another drink. He downed it.

/

Dave walked into the dimly lit studio. He took in the room. Aaron sat in a chair, a Jack Daniels bottle about a third full sat on a small table next to him. Aaron didn't acknowledge his presence. Dave walked over and picked up the whiskey. He poured himself a drink, and sat down next to Aaron.

"Is Jessica mad?" His voice was calm. If you didn't know better you would think nothing was wrong.

"No."

"It's late. Where is everyone?"

"They're staying. Most on the floor or couch. JJ is sleeping in the guest room. ... Reid's staying with her."

Hotch's eyebrows rose. "Didn't see that coming."

"I don't think anything has happened or will happen. At least not for a while. I think they are just clinging to each other in this storm."

"Happiness is a wonderful thing. No matter where you find it." His voice had turned bitter. He took another drink.

...

"Is the alcohol helping?"

"It's not hurting."

...

"We say things like "taking the edge off"." He chuckled humorlessly again. "This ... this makes the pain a ninety-nine point nine instead of one hundred."

...

"When are you going to tell him?"

"In the morning. I'm going to break his heart in the morning." He took another drink.

They didn't say anything else. Just sat quietly and finished the bottle.

/

Hotch looked down at the peaceful form of his sleeping boy. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why can't he know peace?

He moved to stand over the bed. He softly put his hand on Jack's back and gently shook him awake. "Hey buddy. I need you to wake up. Daddy's got to talk to you."

Jack slowly stirred. He sleppily say up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "What's going on, daddy."

Hotch's voice caught in hs throat. "Buddy ... I ... got some bad news buddy." He put his hand over his mouth. Why do I have to do this? "Something bad happened to Emily. She had to go away. ... She had to go away like mommy. ... She's not coming back."

"Did she met a bad guy like mommy?"

"Yeah buddy she did."

"Are you going away too?"

"No buddy. I'm staying right here."

Jack said nothing just buried his face into Hotch's chest and cried.

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

A/N Review.