Chapter Nine
After an uncomfortable flight and the emotion of the day, Ruby had cried herself to sleep. Joey had tucked her up with a blanket on the sofa and sat beside her, her elbows on her knees as she looked through Charlie's letters. She'd read the first one, dating back to the first time they had kissed. From flicking through them, they seemed to range from then up to only a few months ago. Had she really been thinking of her all that time?
Dearest Joey,
I can't even begin to tell you how unhappy I am. You left Summer Bay today because I hurt you so much and I can't blame you. You said you'd be back in three months and I desperately hope you will be. I am desperate for the chance to prove myself to you. If only you'd come home, I could be the person you need me to be. I would do whatever it took to prove my love to you, after so long of messing you around.
Ruby told me to fight for you today and that's what I intended to do. But when I found you, ready to sail away from me, I didn't try as hard as I could. And that's not because I didn't love you. I love you more than anything and I wish I could take my awful mistake back. But I didn't argue hard about you staying because I saw in your eyes that it's what you needed to do.
You've been through hell these last few months. You were raped and nearly murdered and then the woman that was supposed to be taking care of you, messed you and your feelings around. And then, when we finally decided to make a go of things, I cheated on you. It was the worst mistake of my life, which is quite a feat really. Sometimes it feels like my whole life is one big error.
After all of that, you needed to do what was right for you. You need to get away and clear your head, heal your wounds and because I have caused so much pain for you, I know you can't do it with me around. Now all there is for me to do is to sit and wait for you.
I miss you so much already that I feel like I can't breathe. I've just cried and cried. Please come home to me, Joey. Please don't let this be it. I love you. I'm sorry I didn't show you that sooner and better. Please give me another chance.
Love always,
Charlie x
Joey put the letters to one side so as not to wet them with her tears. Staying in the same position, she pressed her palms to her eyes until she could see spots. Sitting back up, she rubbed her face but the tears still flowed.
"I'm so sorry, Charlie," she whispered. "I'm so sorry I didn't come home."
Taking a deep breath, she picked up the next letter from the pile. It was dated July 2009, just before Joey was supposed to come home.
Dearest Joey,
I'm currently stuck in the hospital with a badly damaged hip. Brett ran me over, although I do think it was an accident. And to be fair to him, I was standing in the middle of the road in a state of distress.
Today was Aden and Belle's wedding day. I went with Ruby and my Dad and Morag and there was a big part of me hoping and fearing that you would be there. I don't know if Aden is still in touch with you or not but I know you meant a lot to each other.
I was longing to see you and if I had half the chance, I'd tell you exactly how I feel about you and we'd get back together. But I was scared too.
Although I still live in hope and that you still have a few weeks to go until you're officially not coming home, that's what I think the reality is. Even before Brett confirmed that you were never coming home because of me, I believed that I had seen you for the last time. I can still feel that final kiss on my lips and every time I think about it, I just break down.
My reason for fearing your return, as well as dreaming of it, is because I've started dating someone else. As far as I'm concerned, it is casual and although it probably makes me a terrible person, I'd drop him in a heartbeat for you.
The guy I'm going out with is my ex-boyfriend, Angelo. I know I've told you about him before and considering what happened when he left town, you'll be shocked to know we're back together. He got off for Jack's death and he's been reinstated at the police station.
I wasn't alone in my horror at his return and the last couple of months have been really difficult. He's the Bay's most hated man and I experienced a lot of judgement for being with him.
I don't love him. I can't see myself ever loving him. I fully believe that you will be the first and last person ever to make me feel so strongly. But I'm lonely and I hate myself and Angelo is going through the same thing so I guess that pulled us together.
He was the only person living here that wasn't invited to the wedding so he collected me afterwards with the intention of taking me on a date. Unfortunately, his plan had been to take me out for a picnic on a boat and I just couldn't do it. Boats are your thing and they hold so many precious memories for me. I felt like I was cheating on you all over again.
So I backed away and got hit by the car. Angelo was suspicious when Brett called you by name and said you weren't coming home. I was awkward with him and he concluded that my state of mind was to do with you, only he thought you were a guy. I corrected him and he dumped me because he was so shocked that I could keep a secret like that from him.
I'm sad that my consolation prize is ruined now too. If I can't be accepted by the town pariah then what chance do I have? I know I've lost you. And that means I've lost everything. I don't know how to live without you, Joey. Please come home.
Love always,
Charlie x
Joey put the letter down again and stood up quickly, hurrying to the bathroom. She washed her face, leaning on the sink and glaring at herself in the mirror. She apologised all over again, breaking down in tears.
Next time… Joey and Ruby read Charlie's perspective on the revelation that Ruby was her daughter…
