WARNING: This chapter will contain themes of torture, memories or torture and child abuse, and mention of death. If you do not wish to read such a dark chapter you may skip to the next chapter where Severus will give his report to Dumbledore, the basics of what happened will be in that report so you will not miss the important parts of the chapter.
I do realize that my previous chapters have not been as dark as the rating and that is why I am making sure that my warning is updated at the top of these chapters that contain the darker content.
Please be advised that this chapter is not for every reader and read at your own discretion.
CHAPTER NINE: The Beauty of Pain
Severus hissed at the burn under his skin. He had so rarely felt this degree of pain when he was called. Even as he walked down towards the forest and the boundaries that would allow him to apparate out of here he could feel the skin crawling beneath his arm and burning intently. It felt so similar to the Cruciatus curse that Severus wondered just what fresh hell he would face when he arrived. At least he would be on time. He pressed his hand over the mark and a graveyard of all things swam into view in his mind. Not even bothering to think on this he apparated away. Landing smoothly he had just drawn his robes and mask on when he heard the first shriek pierce the night. Blinking at the not unusual sound at their meetings, but wondering why he was hearing it before he even arrived Severus quickened his pace not daring to be even a second behind schedule.
He arrived to see that only a handful of the Death Eaters were here. More were coming in quickly. Severus slid into his spot next to Lucius, barely sparing a glance to his friends eyes noting the hint of panic in them. His eyes traveled towards the figure hunched over something on the ground in the centre of their forming circle. Only to realize it wasn't something it was a woman. Disgust welled up in Severus and he had to scold his features and occlude his mind to insure none of his true feelings showed as he took on the same bored stance and ice cold dispassionate boredom in his eyes. The cold mask he had come to wear when these sessions of torture were called. Though the Death Eaters often participated Severus rarely did. He only did when he was specifically asked to participate and then he only did because otherwise it would be far to suspicious. When he had been young and naif he had been more willing to participate until he was faced with a child to kill and then he had been disillusioned of what he really had become. His willingness to participate in the sadistic torture of prisoners had fallen and he'd taken on the bored exterior.
The Dark Lord was clearly already using the Cruciatus curse on the woman who was screaming again her back arching up and the long white fingers of the Dark Lord running down the blood darkened side of her cheek as a lover's caress. This sent a chill down Severus's back as he watched the disgusting display. Wishing he could look away, but knowing he couldn't without incurring suspicion. He could feel the bloodlust and excitement flowing from those around him and he let his mind drift away from the torture as names were called by the Dark Lord to join him. A long forgotten memory swam up in his mind reminding him of exactly why he had come to hate these evenings.
Severus was barely eighteen years old. Young and strong and in control he had walked with Lucius by his side into the manor where the family the Dark Lord had ordered them to kill resided. The father had once been a supporter who had turned from the Dark Lord and betrayal was not taken lightly. Severus felt pride that he had been chosen to show the traitor the wrath of the Dark Lord. It was a prestigious assignment indeed. A quick spell blasted the door open. The two strode into the home uninvited to hear a woman screaming somewhere in the den and the sound of crying.
There was only one entrance into the den and the male they had come to teach a lesson stood in the doorway glaring defiantly at them. Severus smirked at him. Lucius's spell caught the man and sent him to the ground twitching and in a few minutes screaming out in pain. The spell broke and Severus spoke.
"You betrayed the Dark Lord," the cold words echoed in the sudden silence as terror became evident in the man's eyes, "now you will feel his displeasure," Severus concluded rising his wand and whispered into the silence "Crucio," with a flick of his wand at the prone man. His shrieks filled the air and it seemed so easy. Until Severus heard the cries of the woman join the man's. His eyes snapped away from the man and looked up to where Lucius had sent the Cruciatus curse at the woman. It was the expression on the aristocrat's face that made him pause. The man forgotten.
There was disgust on his features. Severus stared openly at him. Lucius met his gaze and he was left wondering why Lucius didn't appear to enjoy torturing the woman. The question was evident in his eyes, but no answer was given. Severus's eyes fell away from the woman as she slumped down trying to shield something from view. A small child of three years of age was crying openly clutching himself in the corner. That single image shot him back to when he was a child and he started to back away. Severus didn't realize he was shaking until he hit the wall with his back and heard the clatter of his wand hitting the wooden floor. Locked in a memory
He had just turned four years old and had been sitting quietly at the table as his mother cleaned after their small supper. She had told him to sit at the table quietly so she could finish her work before she got him ready for bed and those rare times when he was tucked in by his mother were moments he treasured so Severus had been happy to sit at the table and read quietly.
Not even ten minutes later their front door was slammed against the wall startling Severus into rising the book clutched tightly to his chest his eyes wide and wildly looking around. He made a dash for the stairs knowing that entrance and the heavy footfall that fallowed. He was not fast enough as a fist grabbed the long black hair and yanked him painfully back. A cry of pain escaped his lips even as he tried to not show the pain. He was sent sprawling no doubt having lost some hair in the process. Laying on the floor on his back trying to catch his breath he looked up at the man who was his father.
"wha yu-got tere boy," the man's drink slurred words and the reek of strong liquor washed over Severus and he was left trembling as the man grabbed for the book clutched to his chest. He refused to let it go and desperately Severus tried to fight the man to keep his book. It resulted in the man's strong hand closing over his wrist and throwing him through the door to the small den where a fire was merrily dancing in the fireplace. Severus landed hard nocking into the couch that sat there and falling to the ground while the book he had been reading was clutched in his father's fist.
"Teach yur place," Tobias snarled at the boy.
The man didn't even look at the book he held as he threw it into the fire. Severus watched with frightened eyes as the man rounded on him and proceeded to teach him why he shouldn't be reading in an open space. All the while Severus's eyes never left the book and finally when his father was done with him he found himself curled up against the wall watching the fire finish destroying the precious book he had been reading. Tears falling silently down his cheeks.
"SEVERUS," A voice thundered in his ear and he was drawn out of the nightmare of his memories realizing he was crying kneeling on the floor with his head bowed down trembling uncontrollably clutching at his head. The voice which had barely raised in volume was coming from right next to him and he flinched away glancing over at the man who was kneeling next to him. Lucius. Slowly realization of their location dawned on him. Where he was and what had just happened.
Swallowing he looked up and noticed the bodies lying where they had been before his nightmares had risen. He blinked as he took in the dead child. Why had he ever thought this was a good idea? When had he become his father? Sickened by that thought he was certain he would be violently ill for a few moment until he felt Lucius's hand fall on his shoulder and jumped almost out of his skin at the contact. Whirling back to face the man he drew himself tightly into a defensive position and grabbed his wand tightly pressing his back against the wall.
Lucius raised both hand to show they were empty his words soft, "Sev, what's going on?" He asked clearly concerned. The answer he got would shock him for years to come.
"When did I become my father?" The soft words that left the young man was enough to make the truth clear to Lucius. It wasn't the first time Lucius had seen his friend have a flashback to his past, but it was the first time in the year they had been Death Eaters together that Lucius realized just what they were doing. Suddenly the purging the Dark Lord claimed they were doing of the impurities that polluted the pureblood lines become what it truly was, torture and depravity. How could they have missed that?
The final death scream was enough to snap Severus back to the present and out of his dark and morbid thought and memories feeling as ill as he had that day and glad he had not eaten since breakfast. He carefully avoided looking at the woman not wanting to see the result of the 'night's amusement' as the Dark Lord called this. The man himself was standing in the centre of his circle looking at each of his Death Eaters with a savage look of pleasure on his face his hands still lightly coated in the blood he had touched and Severus avoided looking at them as he met the blood red eyes. He felt the same burning hatred swell inside his mind until he was certain he would lash out. The only thing that kept him standing still in that same bored stance was the knowledge that if he acted now he wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing the bastard fall.
Lily had been the final straw that drew him away, but his loyalty had started to waver long before that. No the man before him hadn't been so stupid as to think he could force Severus back into enjoying the purging. No after that night Severus had refused and no amount of torture had changed his mind. Severus could remember when the Dark Lord had finally realized that unless he wanted to kill Severus he would have to change tactics to bring back the loyalty that had wavered. He still needed Severus's unrivalled skills for potions. So he had used the man's strengths against him. Sent him to spy on Dumbledore, and on others of course, demanded potions from him, had him work on projects of interesting results.
"I tired of the failure I see before me," The Dark Lord spoke in that angry hiss that told those around the circle he was quite displeased. "The woman," he spat the word, "was the undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, brought to me by Avery. She was quite fun, but now we will need to replaced her and I want someone I can control in that station. Malfoy you will see it done," The blood red gaze focused on the man next to Severus with a wicked smile curving his lips. "I need more control in the ministry Malfoy. I trust you will use that wonderful influence of yours to achieve this."
"Yes my lord," Lucius replied smoothly. His tone blank and respectful. Every inch the aristocrat.
"Good, now Severus," he said turning his gaze to focus on the black obsidian eyes. Those cold orbs reflecting no emotion. The Dark Lord knew the other hated these sessions of sport and the Dark Lord relished how he could make Severus have to observe them and torture him in the same time he had the pleasure of purging another from his path. He continued, "tell me what the muggle loving fool knows of my stone!" He demanded.
"I have been able to discover that the stone is supposedly kept in a vault in Gringotts, my lord," Severus stated simply. He didn't wait for the man to ask if he knew which vault he simply stated it. "Vault seven hundred and thirteen, my lord."
"Well, well, well," The Dark Lord said spinning around to face the rest of the circle with a smile curving his lips, "I wonder if you will scream for me tonight Severus," he finished as he turned back to Severus and his wand flicked towards Severus with a whispered, "Crucio."
Severus stiffened trying to keep his knees from buckling as his body flinched in response to the excruciating pain. As the spell built and his body began to tremble more noticeably unable to control the twitching of his muscle, Severus found himself bitting his lip to keep from screaming. His back arched back slightly and his knees buckled. He found himself falling until he hit the ground with a solid thud barely catching himself before he could fall further then his knees. His eyes closed and a few traitorous tears leaked from his eyes as his breathing became erratic. Still he did not scream.
Finally the spell broke and the Dark Lord looked quite satisfied with the result. Without another word he turned away from Severus and it was a few minutes before he could push himself up to standing and many minutes more before he realized what was happening around him. A few more of the Death Eaters were on the ground and he had no idea why. What had they done to anger the Dark Lord? Did he even have a reason? Somehow Severus doubted it. That was how the meeting ended and he quickly staggered away to apparate back to Hogwarts where he could eventually seek refuge in his quiet and dark chambers.
