Cesca
She called after him but her efforts were in vain. Her eyes filled with tears that she refused to shed; she couldn't cry over this boy any more, she shouldn't. He was right of course, every single word. She did have feelings for him, feelings she didn't yet understand fully herself, but feelings all the same. When she woke up this morning, she honestly thought she could handle it, be able to see him and treat him as though he were any other student. Well they'd done it once before so why should this time be any different? How wrong she was. It was impossible, she had only seen him, been with him for 10 minutes; yet for that 10 minutes, her heart beat increased, her breathing was fast and shallow, she had an overwhelming feeling to cross the room and embrace him once more. How did he have this hold over her?
The first two lessons were a blur, she had completely zoned out of reality, residing inside herself. It was almost as if her body turned on to autopilot, it continued doing her Miss Montoya duties, but her mind was completely focused on her current dilemma… Jonah. Was he worth the risk? Was he ready for this? These thoughts completely consumed her, so much so that she didn't realise Karen Fisher staring at her from the doorway of her Spanish classroom. "Cesca?... Cesca!" she called "Huh What?" she replied crashing back to reality with a bump. "Are you alright Cesca? You've seemed a bit distracted, is everything okay?" she seemed genuinely concerned, it was nice, if not a little patronising. "Erm yeah… Yeah I'm fine, I guess I just have a lot on my mind" she replied with a fake smile. "Okay good, I actually came here to ask you something" "Go on…" "Well it's more of a favour really… As you know, the sixth form biology trip to wales is next week and well… I was wondering if maybe you would consider supervising?" she said with a smile that was supposed to entice her into agreeing. Admittedly, it kind of worked. A week away would do her good, give her chance to align her thoughts, get things clear in her head, and make a decision. "Sure, I'll go, just email me the details of everything I'll need" she said with a genuine smile this time. "Who else is supervising?" "Chris Mead" Karen turned to leave the room, "Thanks Ces!"
The end of the day couldn't come quick enough; her thoughts had been drowning her all day. She tried to find Jonah, to talk to him, but something told her that he didn't really want to be found, and besides, she had no idea what she would say. He was hurt and confused and it was her fault. She lead him on, at least she thought she did.
Before she knew it, she was packing. They were to travel to an adventure centre in north wales called Ty Carreg, she had no idea what the class had to do there, but apparently it involved streams and wellies, not her idea of a holiday but it would suffice. She walked over to the coach that would be taking them to Wales, with her oversized suitcase – after all she was Cesca, packing lightly was a completely foreign concept to her. There were only a few students waiting outside the coach, the usual suspects; Jess Fisher, Bex Fisher, Finn Sharkey, Lauren Andrews, Sam Kelly, Ronan Burley and attached to his face Vicki McDonald. Along with them was an over-enthusiastic Chris Mead, clearly loving the fact that there was a whole week dedicated to science. She half-heartedly hoped to see him in the line, but she knew she wouldn't… she hadn't seen him since their conversation, over a week ago.
Everything was loaded onto the coach, so they prepared to set off. As the driver released the hand break, there was a thudding sound on the coach door. Chris went to deal with the situation, then entered an out of breath, apologetic, Jonah Kirby. She felt the corners of her mouth curve to form a smile, much to her annoyance. This was supposed to be her time to think over everything, think about them. How was she supposed to do that with him there for the whole week? She sighed quietly as their eyes met, her heart beat reached new heights, and her stomach filled with butterflies.
This was going to be a long week.
