A/N: Okay ladies...I have made some decisions about this fic. In order to be able to post updates sooner, I am not going to be making them quite so long. In fact this update is considerably shorter than the last couple have been. It takes a long time to plot out chapters that long and then even longer to write them. School will be out for the summer in less than 7 weeks so that means that I will have my oldest son here everyday in addition to my stepdaughter who recently came to live with us plus my two littlest ones and chances are pretty good that I won't have as much time to write. Another decision I have made is that each chapter is only going to have either Loren or Eddie's POV and not both. Other people may be added in occasionally but mostly from here on out the story will either involve one or the other. For instance this chapter is strictly Loren POV and the next will be Eddie's. Since I am doing that...I will be having two parts to each chapter. This is part 1. I will have the next part up next Sunday :) I hope that you guys will understand why I am doing things like this.
Also, a lot of you questioned where Ian was in the last chapter...don't worry...he's in this one. I didn't forget him. He will be playing a pretty big part in the upcoming chapters...lets just call him our little Chloe wrangler shall we?
I had planned to check this out for grammer and spelling earlier today but I didn't get the chance because I was sorting through a mountain of laundry. I imagine that there are a million mistakes. I am so sorry but please look past them.
One last things for those of you who have emailed me about Veronica Mars...the movie is being made and it will be out sometime in 2014 :) The kickstarter fundraiser was a huge sucess to raise the money needed to make the film and we met all of Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas ( the creater of Veronica Mars) goals. According to the last email update I got from Rob ( yes I donated to the fund and became a backer of the film ) the script is finished and most of the key cast members have signed on to do the movie :)
As always, I do not own anything but the plotline :)
Please review...I am very nervous about this chapter.
As if things weren't already awkward enough in the room, everyone's eyes fell upon me as Eddie's question challenge hung in the air. Even Chloe had her eyes trained on me, granted they were full of hate, but still on me. But my eyes, they were focused on one thing only, Eddie's eyes. I couldn't look away even as I raised my glass to my lips and swallowed a mouth full of the red liquid. I didn't know if anyone else took a drink or not, and honestly it didn't matter because this was between Eddie and I now and every single person at the table knew it.
" Wow, I am surprised you did that, " Eddie admitted not taking his eyes off me. I could see that he was testing me, the tone of his voice and the slight flash in his eyes told me so, but I wasn't going to let him get to me. He already knew too much.
I raised my glass again and put it towards my lips, " It's a game about telling the truth. "
He snorted. Eddie Duran snorted. " Exactly."
Okay so now he was baiting me. Did he really want to do this in front of all these people? Of course it's not like any of them don't know what is going on so I guess it doesn't really matter. " So you called me out. How do you know it's you I lied to? "
He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a sexy smile. Way too sexy, because I felt that fimiliar feeling in my stomach. The one that reminded me just how much this guy affected me and that there would probably never be another to do the same. " I know you aren't being completely honest with me, Loren. What I don't really understand is why. Why can't you just tell me the whole story?"
" I did." I wasn't a fan of lying and I really did hate myself for it, but this is for the best. Eddie doesn't need to know how I feel about him. Especially because he doesn't feel the same way. And I don't need to see him pretend like he feels something for me when he doesn't. " Why can't you understand that and just leave it alone?"
He looked around at the table, " Probably because every single person at this table knows more about my life than I do. Every single one of them knows that you and I were together."
" You were never officially together, " Chloe interferred.
"Shut up Chloe, " Melissa, Adrianna, Veronica, and Phil shouted in tandom. Of course they never took thier eyes off me. I guess I couldn't blame them. They have been waiting for this showdown for awhile now.
" I don't know what I can do to convince you. " Hopefully he would just decided to believe me. I knew that wouldn't happen but I was a dreamer at heart. I hated lying to him, but what choice did I have? I couldn't bare to know that he knew the truth and he still choose Chloe over me, because in my mind undoubtedly that is what will happen. Right now he is angry about the lies and the whole Tyler debacle but it will wear off and Chloe will be able to convince him of her love and thier love together and then once again, I will be on the outside looking in. So I may as well just stay there right now and save myself a whole lot of time and heartache.
He shook his head, obvisouly distressed that I wouldn't just open my mouth and tell him every single detail of his life since he came back to California after his tour. He was about to say something when there was a knock at the door. Before I could get up to answer it, Mel jumped out of her seat and practically ran to it. She swung it open and pulled the newcomer inside. I didn't look away from Eddie and he didn't look away from me, but I could tell that Ian had arrived. I could smell his coglone...it was a spicy woodsy combination.
He took in the mood of the room rather quickly without anyone having to tell him anything as he took a seat next to Logan. " Do I wanna know what lead up to this," I heard him whisper as he poured himself a glass of wine. " I knew I should have never answered that call from my mum. I always miss the good stuff. " He seemed to be enjoying this as much as everyone else. It was rather annoying.
" So you are just going to keep lying to my face?" Eddie asked with a look that told me that no matter how many interuptions we have, this is never going to go away. " You and everyone esle." He used his hand to sweep around the table to indicate that everyone was lying to him. " Every single person at this table, with the exception of Logan, has lied to me every day since I woke up. Because you told them to. They did it for you, not for me. You. "
I didn't know what to say to that because he was right. I asked them to lie. I thought it was for the best but now that I could see that it Eddie Eddie, I could admit that it was a bad idea. I never should have asked Ian and the others who now considered Eddie thier friend to choose sides. In retrospect that is exactly what they did. They chose me because otherwise they wouldn't have lied. They would have just told him the truth and not cared how I felt about it. " I am sorry, Eddie. I never should have asked everyone to keep our friendship a secret from you."
" Friendship, " he raised his eyebrows at me, " come on Loren, we have never been just friends. "
Was it getting hot in this room? It certainly felt as though it was 100 degrees in here all of a sudden. Or maybe it was the fact that I felt on the hot seat and from the determination, among other things, floating around in eyes eyes, I wasn't getting off of it anytime soon. He wasn't going to drop this and I couldn't keep letting the others hide things from him. It wasn't fair then and it's not fair now. " What do you want from me?"
" I want the truth Loren. "
" Ok, look mate, things were complicated. " Ian broke into the converstation and I pulled my eyes from the grip Eddie's seem to have on them to look at him. " It's not Loren's fault ok. She came into this by circumstance. "
"What does that mean, " Eddie asked with anger radiating from his voice as he too looked at his best friend.
" It means , " he stopped to glare at Chloe before continuing again, " she made it possible for you to turn to Loren for comfort after your relationship blew up. Loren did not ask to be brought into this life but she earned her way in and got to be friends with you as a conselation prize, " Ian smiled at Eddie and joked, "and from years of experience I can attest that it is indeed a conselation prize." Becoming serious once again, Ian focused his attention on me. " Loren did what she thought was best. She was by your side in that hospital every single day, mate. She only left because her mother practically carried her out. She didn't keep things from you because she doesn't care about you, she did it because she does. "
I gave him my best smile to thank him for defending me but noticed that Eddie was narrowing his eyes at his best friend. Oh no. He was mad at Ian for defending me. I couldn't let that happn. I couldn't be the reason that Eddie was upset with Ian. " Thank you for defending me Ian, but it isn't necessary. I asked all of you to keep my relationship with Eddie a secret and it wasn't fair. I am so sorry to all of you. " Turning my eyes back to Eddie, I gave him a small smile, " and I am sorry that you were hurt my the choices that I made. I really do believe that it was best for you not to know because it doesn't change anything. "
"It changes everything, Loren. " He was back to giving me that intese stare of his. It seriously made me crazy that he could make me feel so much with just a look in his eyes. " How can you not see that?"
" Because Eddie, you still don't remember. " Chloe butted in again, " She doesn't want to be with you if you can't remember her. Loren is selfish like that. But I want to be with you no matter what."
" Loren is selfish?" Melissa made her way into the conversation now and I just knew it was about to turn into a free for all. " You can't really be serious right now. You begged Loren to not tell Eddie that the two of you were broken up before his accident. You begged her to just sit back and let you destroy his life again. "
" And she made the choice to do that. " Chloe defended with an eyeroll to Mel.
" Wait, " Eddie's voice was raised as he turned towards Chloe, " you and I weren't back together before that night?"
Realizing her mistake, Melissa shot me a look that screamed her apology and sat back in her chair. Great. I guess the truth was gonna be all out by the end of the night.
Chloe seemed to be searching for something to say but Veronica jumped in to save the day, " Ok while this is interesting and all, can we please get back to the game. You guys are giving me a headache." I knew it was her way of rescuing me from this and I sent her a relieved smile across the table. She didn't smile back. I still had a lot of ammends to make where she was concerned. " Never have I ever, gone skinny dipping."
Logan chuckled and Veronica sent him the death glare but it didn't seem to phase him. " Wow Ronnie, that's orginal. "
" Do not call me Ronnie, and shut up. " She lifted her glass to her mouth and took a long sip.
As did everyone else at the table. Except me. And Cameron. Well...wasn't that ackward. He smiled at me and I gave him a smile, which Eddie noticed because it was his turn to use the death glare and he sent it out to Cameron. Cam was still looking at me though so he didn't notice. Chloe did though and I was rewarded with a death glare of my own. Yes, this dinner had been a great idea.
" When did you go skinny dipping? The last time we played this game you hadn't" Logan bellowed to Veronica with nothing but jealous in his voice. "More importantly who did you go with?"
Veronica rolled her blue eyes and smiled at Melissa, who she was looking at in an attempt not to look at Logan. " That was a very long time ago, Logan. Lots of things have changed since then. And just so you know..I didn't do it with anyone. Troy waited in the limo."
" Troy? VanderGraff? For the love of god, Veronica." Logan obviously wasn't happy about that little piece of information and now all eyes were on the two of them.
And finally, Veronica turned her blue eyes to Logan. " Don't worry it was before the two of you went to Mexico on your drug run. "
" I had nothing to do with that. "
Veronica laughed, " Of course not because you are a saint. "
" What the hell is your problem? " Logan bellowed again.
Oh boy. Seems we were going to take turns being the center of attention, Veronica and I. At least we could use that to bond later and hopefully put our friendship back on track. Veronica took a deep breath before opening her mouth and I knew this wasn't going to be pretty. " My problem is that you are here. My problem is that I trusted you and you let me down. My problem is that despite everything I can't stop missing you. My problem is that I can't hate you no matter how much I want to. "
Everyone's eyes shifted to Logan as he opened his mouth and then closed it again immediately. Obvously he wasn't expecting that little outburst and since my eyes were still on Veronica, I could see that she had surprised herself with it.
" Well its good to know that all hope isn't lost, " Logan replied finally pulling himself together. " Veronica, I am sorry. I don't know what else I am supposed to say to make it better. "
She shook her head, " I don't know if there is anything, Logan. I can't keep going around and around with you. It hurts to much when the ride stops. "
Her honesty surprised me. Veronica was probably the one person in the world I knew understood my fear of being completely honest with Eddie because she dealt with the same thing where Logan was concerned. Now, though, now it seems as though I am on my own.
" I don't want to hurt you , Veronica. I have never wanted that. " Logan got up and moved to stand behind Veronica's chair. He pulled it out and turned her so that she was facing him and he knealt down so that he was face to face with her. " It kills me to know that I did that to you. It wasn't my intention. I don't know why I do the things that I do. " He reached up and touched her face, " I love you Veronica. I always have and I truly believe that I always will. "
Veronica reached up and cupped Logan's cheek with her own hand and I felt my heart start racing for her, " I love you too Logan." She admitted the thing that feared her the most to the shock of probably everyone at the table. " But I can't keep doing this with you. We are good for a little while and then it all blows up. Love isn't enough for us Logan." She pulled her hand away and rested it in her lap.
But Logan obviously wasn't ready to lose contact with her because he grabbed her hand and put it back on his face. " It is enough. I screwed up Veronica, I know it and you know it. I am not the same guy anymore. I promise you that I have changed. All I am asking for is a chance. "
I was sure that Veronica was going to turn him down. I mean we had countless conversations about all the reasons that she and Logan just couldn't work out. However, she surprised me. " I want to give you a chance Logan. We still have a lot to talk about and I have to deal with Piz, but I want to at least talk about what we do with what is between us. "
She was really going to give into him and try to repair thier relationship. I didn't know if I was more surprised or worried. I never expected Veronica to give in. She has always been so sure in the fact that they could never work out. But now she was practically falling at his feet. Glancing over to Eddie, I found him looking at me again. Okay nevermind, I totally get it. There is just something about that certain guy that just gets you every time. For instance, the way that Eddie was looking at me right now, longingly, made me want to turn into a puddle at his feet.
"Well that was just lovely, can we get back to the game please?" Chloe said as she poured more wine into her glass and immediately took a long swig of it. She had her eyes planted on Eddie and was obviously not happy that his attention was on me. I wasn't exactly happy about it either but there wasn't anything I could do.
Adrianna cleared her throat, " I would like to take my turn next if no one minds. " She picked up her glass full of sparkling cider and shared a look with Mel as Logan stood up and placed a small smile on Veronica's forehead before he went back to his chair. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Mel gave Adriana a slight nod. Suddently I had a very bad feeling about this. " Never have I ever been part of a text spoof. "
Oh my god. I watched in horror as Adrianna drank from her cup. " You?"
She nodded once. " Yes, I helped."
"What do you mean by you helped?" I asked hearing the anger in my voice but not caring.
Adrianna looked over at Chloe who was glaring at her in shock, " You need to take a drink , Chloe. " Looking away from her and straight to me, she at least had guilt swimming around in her eyes. " I am so sorry, Loren. It was before you and I started being friends and I just wanted to hurt you. Chloe came to me and I agreed to help her. "
" I can't believe that you were responsible for that. How could you do that to Loren?" Phil spoke up from beside his wife. I was actually surprised not only by the fact that he didn't know about her involvement but that he was defending me. Sure we had made peace awhile ago but Phil and I have never been extremely close.
Adrianna's eyes filled with tears as she turned to her husband, " I don't know. It was stupid, ok. I know that but I was just so mad that my dad was all about Loren and that everything was going so well for her. I wanted to do something to mess up her life. "
" The calculus test wasn't enough?" This came from Adam who was rewarded for interupting with an elbow to the gut curtesy of his girlfriend.
" I know, I am a horrible person, okay. " She looked back to me and the tears were falling freely down her face. " I was jealous. You were getting so much attention and I just wanted to do something to make you look bad. I really am sorry, Lo. I didn't know you back then. "
She was right. She didn't know me, not really, because she didn't want to. She was mean to me for no other reason than because she was jealous. I understood that and we were able to work through all the juvinelle stuff and put it behind us.
" Loren, I swear to you that all I did was give Chloe a list of phone numbers, she did the rest. "
All eyes turned to Chloe. She had the nerve to roll her eyes. " Seriously? This is so not important. "
" Of course you would think so since you are the one responsible for doing it. " Melissa spoke up. " Don't you ever get tired of being pathetic?"
" Look whose talking? How long are you going to ride Loren's coattails to fame and fortune?"
This was only getting worse by the minute. I needed to do something before it got out of hand. Unfornately before I could do or say anyting, Ian decided that he needed to jump in. " I don't know what a text spoof is or why everyone is so upset about it, but I actually would like to hear the answer to the lovely Melissa's question. " He turned his penatrating eyes to Chloe, " when are you going to stop being so pathetic? "
Ignoring him, Chloe turned to Eddie, " Are you just going to sit there and let everyone gang up on me? You aren't even going to defend me?"
Giving her a long look, Eddie picked up his glass and lifted it to his lips, " Maybe you should call Tyler. I bet he would defend you to death."
Oh my god.
" Damn, mate. What did I miss?" Ian wondered sitting back in his chair and casting a look of completely adoration towards his best friend. He was proud of that little comment.
" Eddie knows that truth about Chloe, " Melissa filled Ian in. " And about his short relationship with Loren..." Melissa turned so that Eddie couldn't see her face but that Ian could and I knew that she was mouthing something to him that would let him know that Eddie knew some of the truth about our relationship but not really all of it.
Standing up, I moved to the back of my chair and pushed it in, " I think that maybe we either need to find something else to do, that doesn't involve quite so much talking, or we need to call it a night. "
" No. Come on now, Loren. We are just getting this party started, " Eddie protested draining what was left in his glass and reaching for the bottle to refill it. " We are all friends here, right? Aren't friends supposed to play games like this? "
" No, they aren't. Not when we are just fishing for information and being mean to one another. That's not what this dinner was supposed to be all about. "
He finished pouring wine into his glass and sat the bottle back down, " No you are right. It was supposed to be about you and I trying to be friends and celebrating that with our friends." He took another drink and then slammed the glass down on the table causing some of the red liquid to spill. " But it turns out that you and all of my so called friends have been doing nothing but lying to me since I woke up in that damn hospital room. " Turning to Chloe, he added, " and that my girlfriend is a cheating liar as well. " He took lifted his glass for another drink but I was faster and grabbed it out of his hands. " Hey."
"You have had enough." Eddie was quickly on his way to becoming drunk and I wasn't about to let that happen. Not when he was so angry. " In fact, I think that we have all had enough. Phil and Adam can you guys clean up for me. " The guys stood to do what I asked. " The rest of you can do whatever, but Eddie and are going outside to have a little chat. " I turned my eyes back to him, " Do I need to push you or can you make it on your own?"
His glare was response enough. I headed to the patio door and didn't bother to turn to see if he was following me, I could hear the sounds of his wheelchair. Before I fully reached the door, Chloe made it and stood in front of it. " Eddie, I think that you and I need to talk before you hear anything she has to say. "
"Move Chloe, " his voice was deadly serious and she heard it just as well as I did but she remained standing there, blocking the door.
Ian, ever the helpful best friend, stood up and made his way to the door and physically picked Chloe up and removed her from our way. " You really need to learn to listen when people talk to you. " He scolded her.
I opened the door and moved so that Eddie could follow me. Once he was out, I peeked my head through the door and told Mel to make sure the kitchen window was closed and to close the curtain on the patio door before I closed the door. Before I even turned around to face Eddie, Mel was pulling the curtain shut. If nothing else, Eddie and I definitely had brillant taste when it came to choosing friends. Melissa and Ian are the best in the world.
It was dark outside and the night air was warm. I could hear the sounds of the crickets and random animals running around in the wooded area behind my house. The outside light provided enough that we were able to make our way over to the pinic table. I pulled a chair away so that Eddie could slide his wheelchair in and then I moved to go around to the other side so I could sit facing him. He however had other ideas and grabbed my arm before I could get to far away. It was pointless at this point to even think about the shivers his touch always caused. " Sit next to me. " There wasn't much point in arguing with him as he pulled the chair next to him around so that it was facing him. I slide into it. "Where should we start?"
"How about you tell me why you are being such a jerk? You don't act like this Eddie. " I have seen him angry before, but never like this.
" How am I supposed to act Loren? My life already sucked but then I found out that everyone in my life lied to me. What is my reaction to that supposed to be?"
I sighed because I really didn't know how to answer his questions. There really was no answer. " I don't know how many times you want me to apologize to you."
" I don't want your apology, Loren. I want the truth." He reached over and took my hand. " I want to know why every time I touch you, my body shivers. Or why I can't stop thinking about you. I want to know why if we were nothing more than a stupid fling or a meaningless rebound, my heart hurts so much when you walk away from me. "
What was I supposed to say to that. " I don't know. "
" I think that you do. I think that you feel the same way. " He let go of my hand and touched my face. Again I shivered and I am pretty sure that my heart was beating way too fast and that I would probably have a heart attack any minute now. Cupping the back of my head with his other hand, he pulled me forward, " I know that you feel the same way. "
My beath caught in my thought and my head was spinning but I managed to compose myself enough to ask the only question I could. " What do you want from me?"
He gave me a way too sexy smile and I swallowed thickly as I watched his brown eyes travel from my eyes to my lips back to my eyes again. " I want, " he started as he leaned slightly forward, " you to kiss me."
