Kurt quickly pulled the rest of his clothes on. After that he grabbed his notebook and went into the bathroom to weigh himself. He had gained two pounds which felt more like two hundred to him. Quickly, Kurt moved into his room to grab his newly hidden razors and cut. Once he finished five cuts and cleaned them out he fell to the floor sobbing.

Burt came home and was surprised to see Blaine's car gone from the driveway. He was usually there until right before curfew. "Kurt?" Burt called out as he stepped inside the house. "Kurt, are you there?"

Kurt heard his dad but ignored him. He was crying too hard to respond and he just wanted to be left alone. Burt frowned when he didn't get an answer. "Kurt?" he asked and stepped downstairs towards Kurt's room. "Are you okay?"

Kurt stood on shaky legs and walked to his dad. As soon as he saw him a fresh round of tears started and he let out a sob. Burt rushed up to him when he saw his son crying. "Where's Blaine!?" he asked with rage in his tone. "Did he break up with you!?"

"I don't know!" Kurt sobbed "W-we fought. And... A-and he left. It s-sounded like w-we did. He s-said 'I hope your happy' and I think h-he means happy th-that we b-broke up!" Burt pulled Kurt in for a long hug and let him cry into his shirt. "We were having such a nice day!" Kurt cried and clutched to his father's shirt tightly.

Burt pulled back to look at Kurt. "What were you saying prior to Blaine leaving? Something must have happened?"

"We were talking about...stuff." Kurt shifted, to worried to tell his dad the truth.

"Yes?" Burt asked. "Kurt, you need to tell me."

"We were talking about my weight! And I got up to put clothes on and he tried to stop me so I.. I told him I hated him. But I don't! I love him!"

Burt sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "What was Blaine saying about your weight?" He ignored the fact that they had been naked in bed together, for right now anyway.

"He was lying and telling me how skinny I am."

Burt let out a frustrated breath. "Kurt, you are skinny! We- I already called someone about this. You have your first appointment on Thursday."

"No!" Kurt shouted and backed away from his father "I don't want that! Please please don't make me go!"

Burt took a step forward and said carefully. "Kurt, this is dangerous. If you keep losing weight, your life could be in danger."

"I'm fine! Why does everyone think that! I'm not even losing enough weight. I'm fat, dad." Kurt argued stepping back again.

Burt let out a small chuckle. "If you're fat, then what am I?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and put a hand on his belly.

"You're fine, dad." Kurt sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I'm...I'm going to bed."

Burt frowned, a little angry now. "Kurt," he said sharply. "Don't you think Blaine deserves some kind of apology?"

"He's the one who left. Not me."

Burt turned around to leave, but before he left the room, he said "Well, how would you feel if Blaine told you that he hated you? Think about that."

Kurt sighed getting into bed. He lay awake for two hours before sending a text to Blaine.

I love you...-K

Blaine looked up from his wet pillow when he got the text. He frowned at his phone and texted back through new tears.

Good for you. It damn well didn't seem like it earlier. -B

I know and I'm sorry. You were trying to help and I was being a dick. I'm going to bed but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am and how absolutely in love with you I am. -K

I just want you to be okay. I want to be able to hold /you/ and not just a pile of bones that used to be you. Please get better for me. -B

Kurt didn't respond to the text. He would feel guilty knowing he had razors and still hadn't eaten all day. Instead he put his phone down and tried to sleep knowing he would probably get nightmares without Blaine there.


Blaine didn't sleep that night. He simply couldn't. He kept tossing and turning in his bed. When morning came, he considered going to Kurt's house, but then stopped himself. This time, Kurt would have to come to him.


Kurt barely slept that night. When he woke up he showered, dressed, and tried to make his hair perfect for Blaine. He made himself a sandwich to go knowing Blaine would see through his lies if he didn't eat. It was finished by the time he got to Blaine's house and he was starting to get a massive stomach ache, worse than the day before. Kurt knocked slowly at Blaine's door and squeezed his eyes shut. Blaine opened the door, his eyes puffy and red, his hair an absolute mess and he was dressed in sweatpants and a huge sweatshirt. He didn't say anything; he simply stared at Kurt with an empty gaze.

Kurt opened his eyes wearily. "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean it..." he tried to say his planned speech but his stomach kept distracting him "I ate for you.. I-I had a sandwich on the way here. I promise." Blaine sighed and let Kurt walk past him and inside, still not saying anything. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I really didn't, you are the most important thing to me and I would be gone without you. Please understand that I was upset and didn't know what I was saying. I love you!"

Blaine didn't look at Kurt; he just turned around and started walking upstairs towards his room. He made a small gesture for Kurt to follow him. Kurt made his way behind Blaine quietly. He bit his lip with worry. Blaine sat down on his bed and waited a few minutes before whispering. "Yesterday.. I-I have never felt worse in my entire life."

Kurt bit his lip again. "I appreciate everything you've done for me."

"Well, it didn't seem like it," Blaine sighed and shook his head; gaze still set on the floor. "You can't expect me to do everything. You just can't."

"I don't!" Kurt shouted before softening "I don't. I just... I understand if you want to break up with me." he reached into his pocket and pulled out the two razors that he kept in his car and placed them in his lap. Kurt kissed his cheek before leaving quickly.

Blaine was just about to say something, but couldn't before Kurt had already left the room. "What!?" Blaine said and ran after Kurt. "Seriously!? You're just gonna leave and not even talk things out!?"

Kurt paused at the door with tears running down his cheeks. "I can't see you like this. Seeing you this upset and knowing that I'm the cause."

Blaine glared at him for a long moment. "You know what? Fine. I don't even care. If you're not willing to do this, then I can't either. How would we be able to live together and you couldn't even handle seeing me upset!? I'm done," Blaine said sharply and turned around.

Kurt didn't say anything. He got in his car and drove. Kurt knew he didn't want to go home so he ended up making the half hour drive to his and Blaine's favorite picnic spot by the lake. He got out to sit on the ground despite the cold and he started sobbing.


Blaine was broken. Absolutely broken. He felt like he couldn't breathe when he saw the door slam after Kurt. He had no more tears, but he needed an outlet. He quickly changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt and went outside for a run. He ran faster, faster, faster. He fell and didn't notice how his knees and elbows were dripping blood. He just ran and ran. Further, faster. It felt amazing with the wind on his face and he felt free. Like he could go anywhere. But did he want to go anywhere without Kurt. No, don't think of Kurt. Faster, faster. He fell again and noticed the sting from where the wind was blowing into his torn knees and hands. He couldn't stop now. Keep running. Keep running..


Kurt never went home. He stayed outside all day and barely noticed as it got darker and colder. He couldn't take his mind off of Blaine no matter how hard he tried. Kurt knew his dad was probably calling him but he couldn't bring himself to check his phone from the car. He just sat unmoving.


When Blaine came inside, he flopped down on his bed, not bothering to either shower or fix his bloody knees, elbows and palms. His sheets got stained with sweat and blood. Blaine wasn't moving or crying. He was just there. Like he felt in the world. Not doing anything right, just there.

It was about ten at night when Burt finally called Blaine. Blaine jumped a little when his phone rang, but as soon as he saw it was Burt, he picked up. "Hello?" he asked with a raspy voice.

"Blaine," Burt breathed out "Kurt's with you right? Please tell me he's with you.."


Author's Note:

Hope you're all enjoying the story so far. I might upload again tonight but I'm not sure. I'll definitely update tomorrow though. Thanks for everything. And thanks to Helen my brilliant roleplay partner.