Leon woke up with a pounding headache to find himself lying on a pew in the church. He looked around and saw Ashley sitting on the pew in front of him filing her nails. 'Huh? How did we get here?' He asked.
'We walked back here after you left me fighting El Gigante all on my own!' Ashley replied.
'I can't remember anything from when I drank those shakes.'
'I had to lure you into a nearby boat using the plaque which you thought was a cookie as bait, then into the arena where we got locked in! Then you ran screaming into a nearby hut leaving me to fight El Gigante all on my own!'
'I'm sorry Ashley.'
'And when we arrived at the church you freaked at the litter of cute little puppies on the grass!'
Leon felt embarrassed. 'Oh no!'
'Yeh! You threw the plaque through one window! You threw me through the window next to it! And then you jumped through the window next to that! Then you lost consciousness!'
Leon looked up to see three broken windows. He then turned back to Ashley. 'Look can we put this behind us and rescue Ashley.'
'Fine!'
'Ok. Lets go.'
The duo looked around the church picking up any ammunition and money they could find. Eventually Leon noticed a nearby ladder. He climbed up it as quick as he could and waited for Ashley who climbed up it at a snails pace.
(15 Minutes Later)
Ashley finally made it to the top of the ladder. The duo made their way around the balcony to come to two locked gates with a door between them and a huge gap with a chandelier within jumping distance and a ledge on the other side.
'There's no way we're getting through here.' Leon said. 'Looks like our only way is to jump across on this chandelier. The duo both jumped to the central chandelier. However they couldn't control the swinging and found themselves holding on for dear life.
'We should have thought this through!' Ashley screamed. Suddenly the chandelier flung the two to the opposite platform and they crashed into the opposite wall. The chain on the chandelier broke and went crashing to the ground.
Leon and Ashley both noticed a control panel. They activated it and saw three lights project patterns onto the opposite wall. They both figured that they had to twist the light patterns in such a way that when combined they matched the central pattern and the gates would open. After two hours they finally solved the puzzle and the gates slid open.
Cautiously Leon entered the storeroom with Ashley following. Upon entering they saw Ashley Graham run across the room. 'Ashley!' Leon shouted.
'Don't come!' Ashley G shouted as she tossed a wooden beam at the duo. Ashley T managed to dodge the beam but Leon was two slow and it knocked him unconscious.
'Who are you?' Ashley G shouted.
'I'm Ashley, this is Leon.' Ashley T said as she pointed to Leon. Suddenly Leon sprang up off the floor.
'I'm ok!' He shouted. 'I'm here to rescue Ashley because the president told me to.'
Ashley G's eyes lit up. 'My father!'
'No shit Sherlock!' Ashley T replied. 'And close your eyes! The light is blinding me!'
'Oh! Sorry. My contacts fell out' she said as she searched for them.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!!!!!
Leon took out his radio. 'Good news Hun. I found Ashley.'
'Finally!' Hunnigan shouted. 'Its only taken you 9 chapters!'
Hunnigan then went on about how much Leon sucked and how Ashley T looked like a slut. Leon put his radio away and the trio headed back to the ladder.
Leon wasn't the type of person who climbed down ladders so he just jumped straight off the ledge and landed flat on his face. Ashley T took another 15 minutes climbing down the ladder. Ashley G however didn't do anything.
'Come on you stupid crack whore!' Ashley T shouted.
'No!' Ashley G snapped. 'I don't like climbing down ladders!'
'Well jump then!' Leon shouted.
'Catch me!'
'Why should I?!'
'Then I'm not coming!'
'Oh fuckin hell!' Ashley T shouted. 'I'll catch you!' And she held out her arms ready to catch Ashley. Ashley G jumped off the ledge, at that moment Ashley T moved out of the way and watched Ashley G fall flat on her arse.
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU BITCH!!!!' She shouted.
'Serves you right for being such a lazy brat!'
'Why you!' Ashley G dived at Ashley T but Leon interrupted them.
'Look you two if we're finished here can we please leave before I go insane!!'
'Bit late for that' both Ashleys said at the same time.
After a long argument over whether or not Leon was sane the trio finally made their way out into the main church.
'I'll take the girl.' A cloaked figure said as he walked onto the alter.
'Who are you?' Leon asked.
'My name is The Boogie Man. But my friends call me Sadler.'
'Are we your friends?' Ashley T asked.
'The blonde American agent and the winy little crack whore are but you aren't.'
'What! Why?!'
'Cos I hate you.'
'Well then I hate you!' Ashley T pouted.
'Now where was I?' Oh yes my evil plan. We injected you and Ashley with plagas parasites so now once they hatch I'll have complete control over your minds.'
Leon was lost for words. 'This sounds like an alien invasion. Are you from mars?'
At that exact second two ganados burst through the door with flaming crossbows. Leon quickly grabbed both Ashleys and dived straight through the window next the three smashed ones.
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Sadler shouted. 'THOSE WERE LIMITED EDITION STAINED GLASS WINDOWS!!!!!!'
To Be Continued.
