CHAPTER EIGHT
I could feel his lips on my skin, his hands burning trails of fire everywhere they touched. I arched into his body and moaned, I could feel his lips sucking at my pulse, making me and wanting. How could he do this to me? How could he make me feel so good with only a few touches?
"Miley." He groaned, his thumbs brushing against my nipples. "My sweet Miley." His voice was husky with lust and his hands were restless on my body. I reached for him, my fingers on his hard, bronzed skin, my nails digging in.
"More." I whimpered, my hands slipping around his back and trailing down. I held his ass, pulling him flush against me. I was wet and wanting, I wanted him, I'd never wanted anything so much as I wanted him. I moved my fingers around, pushing his boxer briefs down as I did.
"Fuck!" He swore as my fingers found his hard, pulsing dick.
"Please?" I begged, I'd never begged for a touch like this before, I'd never begged for a man to touch me, I'd never begged for anything like this. "Please? I need you?" I needed him so bad I thought I'd die if I didn't make love to him right this very second.
I gasped as I jolted awake to Shane shaking me gently. I looked at him with wide eyes and blushed. I rubbed my eyes and avoided looking at Shane. That had been a dream, an actual dream this time, not like the memory-like things I'd had before where it felt like I was there, where it felt like I was Milenia. Shane cleared his throat and my eyes shot to him, immediately falling to his lips; those lips that had felt so good in my dream.
"Are you okay?" Shane asked hoarsely, he was clenching his fists tightly and he was staring straight ahead.
"Yeah." I managed to get out, I felt flushed and hot. I moved slowly away, pressing myself back against the door, fighting the urge to move towards him and kiss him. "W-why'd we stop?" I asked, looking around.
"Lunch." He answered, nodding towards the diner before finally looking at me.
"Right." I licked my lips and his eyes followed the motion.
"You-you were m-." He closed his eyes and groaned slightly. "You were moaning in your sleep... N-nightmare?" Shane sounded hopeful, but I knew he knew that that dream definately wasn't a nightmare.
"We should go." I pointed out to the diner and quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and got out. When we got into the diner we both made beelines for the bathrooms. I stopped at one of the sinks and held onto the edge, looking at my reflection; I was red and flushed. I quickly splashed cold water over my face and let out a sigh. What the Hell was that? That wasn't a memory or anything like it, that had been a dream; a dream of my own minds creation. I wiped my face dry and stared at myself again, not as red. I sighed and left the bathroom, going out to the diner and finding a booth in the back out of sight of the general public. I fidgeted and reached for the menu, overlooking it as I waited for Shane. I knew what he was doing, the same thing he'd done yesterday in the bathroom. He knew I wasn't having a nightmare; I wonder if I'd talked, had I said his name? That would be more than humiliating, but I would never ask.
"Hey." Shane came over and he was blushing again, he knew that I knew that he was masturbating.
"Hey." Well, this couldn't be more awkward. half way through lunch I spoke again. "So you've seriously been exclusive with your hand for a hundred and thirty-five years?" I asked, I still couldn't get over it. I was actually starting to believe that he really was over five thousand years old, but 135 years celibate, that was downright impossible.
"The thought of anyone else does nothing for me." He shrugged and I rolled my eyes. "When I married Milenia I promised that I would never be with another woman so long as my Soul was still living. I broke that promise when I fell in love with Athena in Greece a thousand years later, but I never loved another Soul, I never made love with another Soul. I never will."
"You see her at first don't you?" I accused and he sighed and looked sad. "When you meet the next one you see Milenia."
"When I met Athena I did, I couldn't explain why she made me feel like Milenia had. But, when I knew her, when I knew Athena for her they were nothing alike, but I felt the same. I fell in love." Shane ran a hand through his hair and looked away, getting a far-off look on his face. "Our Souls are connected for Eternity, even if I had been able to die I would have found your Soul again when I was reincarnated and I would have fallen in love. Look." He pulled out his wallet and pulled out pictures. "Milenia." He placed a hand-drawn picture on the table after staring at it for a moment; the woman was beautiful, she had long dark, wavy hair, dimples, a shy smile. She didn't look anything like me. "She was... Milenia was sweet and caring, after every battle she would cradle my head in her lap, she would clean my wounds and nurse me back to health, she woul dplead with me every day not to go back to the arena." Shane swollowed thickly and I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. "Athena." A red-head with her hair flying back around her, a sword in one hand and a shield in the other. "She was a fighter, stubborn as all Hell, she wouldn't ever back down, and she would always win." He place a third picture down. "Clarice. A girl from high society, a bit of Princess to tell you the truth, it was her way or a tantrum until she got her way." He smiled a little and shook his his head slightly. "But, when it was just us she'd be completely selfless." Another picture, Lady Aliegsha. "You know about Aliegsha, I was a Knight and it was like a fairytale, she had been kidnapped by an enemy of her fathers and I saved her. A damsel in distress." His voice cracked a little and I looked at him.
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked softly and he cleared his throat, looking choked.
"You thought I saw Milenia or Athena or Clarice or-"
"I get it." I cut in, I couldn't stan how pained he looked when he talked about them.
"You thought I saw them, I see the woman, I see her Soul, not a woman I loved and lost. I see the woman in front of me and right now and since the minute I met you I only saw you, Miley, not any of them." He said sincerely, almost begging me to believe him. "I love you for you."
"You don't love me, Shane." I hissed, glaring at him and stalking out to my car. Damnit. I couldn't even leave because he had my damn keys. A few minutes later Shane came out and I glared at him through the tinted window of the drivers seat. I saw his shoulders slump and he went around to the passenger side and got in.
"I'm sorry, Miley." Shane sighed, holding the keys out and I snatched them over. "But, I can't stop how I feel." I turned the radio up and he frowned. He reached over and switched it off and I glared at him. "Why won't you just let me say it? You don't have to do anything, you don't have to say anything, you don't have to feel the same way, but I can't stop what I feel."
"You don't feel anything." I snapped, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. "You've known me for one day, you don't know anything about me and you don't feel anything for me."
"Why can't I love you?" His voice raised a little.
"Because the last guy who said he loved me cheated on me. The guy before Jesse cheated on me when he said he loved me. Because I get hurt when guys say they love me and I don't want to get hurt anymore regardless of the fact that I don't love you you're going to hurt me." I yelled back at him, screeching the car to a stop and he was silent. "Just don't say it, don't even think it."
"I'll never hurt you." Shane whispered and I sighed. "All I've ever wanted, for five thousands, is to protect you and make sure nothing and no-one can ever hurt you."
"And how did that work out?" I snapped, starting the car again and Shane descended completely into a sulking silence. I kind of felt bad, but I wasn't going to appologise.
Eternity
I looked over at Shane, we were in another motel room, this time though he made sure it had two beds. I knew Shane wasn't asleep, his breathing was soft and even, but I knew he wasn't asleep. I couldn't sleep either, I felt weird, all the way over here and him all the way over there. I sighed, Shane hadn't uttered even a word since our argument about his feelings this afternoon. I bit my lip, and got out of my bed, I couldn't explain why I tiptoed over and slipped under the covers of Shane's bed next to him. He didn't say anything as I laid down, he just wrapped his arms around me and burried his face in my hair. I held my arms over his and he held me tighter, as if I would leave.
When morning came I sighed. Why did I do it again? I'd barely slept last night, trying to figure it out, and Shanes' arms had remained tightly around me. When the sunlight started to filter through the curtains I slipped out of his hold and back over to my bed. As soon as I was gone Shane became restless in his sleep and soon enough he was awake and gasping after startling awake. He looked over at me and I looked away, his eyes were sad and he had this tiny little pout fighting to take over his lips.
"Morning." Shane eventually muttered, getting up and walking to the bathroom.
"Yeah." I sighed and fell down so I was laying, staring straight up at the ceiling. Why did I keep crawling into bed with him?
"Let's go." Shane whispered when he came out of the shower and I nodded, getting up. In the car I picked at my nail polish and stared out the window. I missed class yesterday, and again today, I had a paper due today that counted as a third of my grade. My grades are so tanked.
"I get that you may not care about education, being a few thousand years old and all, but I did have school, you know, I studied hard for Stanford." I spoke the first words between us after about two hours.
"You wouldn't be able to do much studying if you were dead." Shane muttered back, he glanced at me for a second before looking back to the road. "You didn't strike me as Stanford; thought you'd be more of a Juilliard."
"Lilly and I had planned to go to Stanford together since we were thirteen." I bristled and he snorted.
"What about before Lilly made decissions for you?" Shane snapped.
"Lilly doesn't make my decissions, I do. I decided to go to Stanford."
"Right, because a girl who loves music as much as you do would give up the best music school in the country." Shane rolled his eyes and I glared at him.
"Who says I wanted to study music? I've done music since I was a kid, maybe I wanted to learn to do something different." I glared and crossed my arms.
"What are your studying?" He sounded so self-satisfied.
"Law." I mumbled, I'd tried to tell myself it was so I could better understand what I was signing when contracts were put in front of me.
"What's Lilly studying?" I remained silent and he smirked. Lilly was studying law too, if I was truthfull I only took law because Lilly was. "Right, totally your decission."
"My point is my grades are tanked now thanks to you."
"You're also alive now thanks to me." He snapped.
"If it weren't for you I wouldn't be in danger, none of the others would've either." Shane gripped the wheel tighter and stared ahead, submitting to silence. I felt guilty again, I kept bringing up people he loved who died and blaming him. He was trying to stop me from being one of those people. I sat in silence until it got too much. "I'm sorry." I whispered, looking out the window.
"You're right." He shook his head, his voice sad and I looked at him. "If I could've stayed away they'd all have lived."
"You tried to save them... Sometimes it's just their time." I sighed and reached over, his hand was on the gearstick, I took it off and held it gently. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry." Shane looked down at hands and squeezed mine, his skin was soft and warm against mine.
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