Title: Lonely No More
A/N: Ah, back to the work week. I don't know about you ladies, but my weekends go by extremely too fast :D Lots of love for all the great reviews on the last chapter. Hopefully you ladies will enjoy this one as well. As usual, let me know your thoughts. Enjoy :D
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Julie blinked back tears as she laid on her bed, staring at her bedroom ceiling late Thursday afternoon.
She had been released from the hospital Sunday morning much to her relief, with strict orders to get lots of rest and give her body plenty of time to heal.
She had been excused from school all week, but had been trying to keep up with her classes from the textbooks and assignments that her mother had brought home.
Julie had pretty much slept for the first couple of days after returning home, not having the energy and much too sore to do anything else.
But she was starting to feel and look better. Her body still felt achy, but the bruises and cuts were beginning to fade away. And the large cuts on her right leg and on her side were healing nicely, even though the stitches itched like hell.
Her headache came and went, something that the doctor said was normal from the concussion that she had suffered.
Right now, her head was hurting something fierce. Though she felt pretty sure that it was mostly due to the crying she had done for the past few hours.
Crying over Tim Riggins.
Pathetic, she thought to herself.
Julie was sure that half the female population of Dillon had shed tears over him – whether from a broken heart or not having the chance to be with him.
She never thought she would be one of those girls.
But here she was – lying in bed, crying because she missed him, and confused as hell as to what was going on.
So many people had come to visit her at the hospital and at home. Her room was full of flowers and balloons from people wishing her well.
Tyra and Lois had been by several times to visit, and Landry had dropped by as well. Even Matt had made an appearance, bringing her a small teddy bear.
But no Tim.
She hadn't seen or heard from him since the night of the accident. Her parents had told her that he had suffered a mild concussion and a few scrapes and bruises, but that he had pretty much walked away unscathed, as had the preoccupied driver of the truck that hit them.
Her parents had also told her that besides them, Tim was the first person to see her in the hospital, though she didn't remember it.
It was all a blur in her mind – images of doctors and nurses, of her mom and dad, and faintly of Tim – all blurred together in a hazy collage that Julie would probably never be able to sort out.
Her mom had told her that Tim had stayed at the hospital all night, taking turns with her parents sitting with her for periods of time.
He hadn't left the hospital until Saturday morning when Billy had literally dragged him out, finally convincing him that he needed to go home and get some rest for his own injuries.
And she nor her parents had seen him since. He hadn't been by to visit or to check on her, and her parents said that he hadn't even been to school or practice all week.
She was worried about him. She knew that Tim had a tendency to take the blame for things that weren't all his doing.
She had no doubt that he had probably concocted some distorted view of the accident in that pretty head of his, and that he felt that it was all his fault.
But probably more than anything else, she missed him.
She'd been through this whole ordeal and had been surrounded by tons of people caring for her, and wishing her well, but she had felt a sense of loneliness throughout.
She had thought she was lonely back during the summer, when Lois and Tyra had pretty much abandoned her. But now she knew what lonely really was.
Lonely was not having that one person you cared about the most.
And she did care about him.
A lot.
Probably way more than she should considering the current circumstances.
But not having him around had been hard, and it had almost felt like a piece of her was missing.
That was enough to finally force herself to admit that she liked Tim Riggins as more than a friend.
She liked him.
Really liked him.
And that was scary as hell.
He had become such a good friend, and she didn't want her deeper feelings to mess that up.
But she also knew that she wasn't very good at hiding her feelings. Tim had even told her once before that he could read her like a book, that her emotions showed clearly on her face.
Not that she probably had anything to worry about. From the looks of it, Tim was intent on ignoring her and acting like she didn't exist.
"Damn him." She muttered to herself, feeling her eyes tearing up once again.
"Jules." Tami said softly, opening her door and sticking her head inside. "You ready for dinner?"
"Yeah, in a few minutes." Julie responded, wiping her eyes off with the sleeve of her shirt.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Tami asked, stepping into the room and sitting gently on the bed beside Julie.
Julie shook her head slightly, continuing to wipe the tears off of her face.
"Is it Tim?" Tami asked after a few seconds.
Julie snorted. "God, is it that obvious?" Julie said a little sarcastically, thinking that Tim had been right about people being able to read her so easily.
Tami smiled, pushing Julie's hair behind her ear. "Yeah honey, it kind of is. But I'm your mother. I'm supposed to know these things."
"I just don't understand why he hasn't been by to see me. Or at least called or something."
"Honey, nobody understands why men do the things they do. They don't even understand half the time." Tami smiled. "I'm sure Tim has his reasons, whether they're right or not."
Julie sniffled. "I know. But I miss him."
Tami nodded, looking at her daughter thoughtfully. "You miss him because he's your friend."
Julie nodded slowly, glancing down at the bed.
"Because he's your friend…and because you care about him as maybe more than a friend." Tami said slowly, more of a statement than a question.
Julie sighed, looking back up to meet her mom's gaze. "Yeah, I think so."
Tami looked at her daughter for several seconds. "You guys will work this out, Jules. I saw how worried he was about you at the hospital. He cares about you too."
"He's sure not showin' it now."
"Don't give up on him, hon. He'll come around." Tami said, giving Julie's shoulder a squeeze.
"Did dad say if he was at practice today or not?"
"Your dad said he didn't show up again today." Tami said with a sigh. "He's gonna call over to his house later and tell Tim, or Billy, that if Tim doesn't show up to school tomorrow that he's not playin' in tomorrow night's game."
"That's good. Maybe dad can talk some sense into him." Julie said with a small smile.
"Yeah, your dad can bribe him with football." Tami nodded, a smile on her face. "Come on. Let's go eat dinner. It'll make you feel better."
Julie rolled out of bed, following her mother slowly out the room, thoughts of Tim still clouding her mind.
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"Riggins!"
Shit, Tim thought to himself, hearing Jason yelling for him outside his front door.
Tim wasn't in the mood to get a lecture. He just wanted to lie on his couch, drink his beer, and stare at the television.
He didn't want to think about anything, or anyone.
Particularly Julie Taylor.
"Tim, I know you hear me!" Jason yelled again, his voice louder this time.
Tim sighed, rolling off the couch and slowly ambling to the door. Tim pulled open the door, running his hand over his bare chest as he looked down at Jason.
"Six." He drawled.
"About damn time." Jason said, looking Tim over. "You look like hell. Have you showered in the past few days?"
"Nice to see you too, Jay." Tim said, sarcasm lacing his words.
Jason grinned. "Help me inside, Timmy. We need to talk."
Tim sighed. So much for his plan of doing absolutely nothing and thinking of absolutely nothing.
Tim helped maneuver Jason inside the house, closing the door behind them before heading to the kitchen for another beer.
Tim grabbed two bottles, popping the tops and handing one to Jason before resuming his spot on the couch.
"How are yah, man?" Jason asked as he watched Tim take a long drink from his bottle.
"Alright." Tim drawled. "You?"
"I'm good."
"How's the kid?" Tim asked.
"Noah's good. Great actually. He'll be a month old tomorrow." Jason said, a proud smile on his face.
Tim nodded. It was still kind of weird to think that his best friend had a kid.
"It's stressful though, trying to provide for him and Erin. I'm not exactly bringing in the big bucks by working down at Garrity Motors."
Tim nodded again, not sure what to say to that.
"But I didn't come over here to bitch about my life." Jason said after a few moments. "Word on the street is that you haven't been at school all week. And that you've skipped practice."
Tim shrugged. "Got a concussion."
"Come on, Timmy." Jason said with a small laugh. "You've had concussions before. You needed to take it easy for 48 hours tops. So, don't use that excuse on me. I know you too well."
Tim didn't respond. What could he say?
That he'd been depressed?
That he'd been wallowing in his own self pity?
Because that was pretty much all he had done. He had replayed the accident in his head over and over, playing the 'what if' game over and over as well.
What if Julie had just ridden to the party with her parents?
What if he had been in his truck instead of Billy's car?
What if Julie had never befriended him at all?
And the answer to each question was the same – she probably wouldn't have gotten hurt.
Tim's motto was 'No Regrets', but he was finding that where Julie was concerned, he had a few.
"This is about more than a concussion." Jason stated, giving Tim a knowing look. "Is it about Julie?"
Tim shook his head slightly, taking another long drink from his bottle. Damn it, he really didn't want to talk about this right now.
"Have you been to see her?" Jason asked, refusing to let Tim off the hook.
"No." Tim drawled.
"Why not?"
"I don't like hospitals."
"Yeah, I know." Jason snickered. "But she's been home all week. You could have gone over to Coach's house and seen her there."
Tim was silent. He didn't have an excuse for not visiting her at home. All he had were his reasons that would undoubtedly sound stupid to Jason.
"You know what I think it is?" Jason asked, not bothering to wait on an answer. "You're blaming yourself for the accident. Probably thinking that you could have somehow prevented it. Am I right?"
Tim shrugged, looking anywhere but at Jason.
"I know first hand how you like to take the blame and feel responsible for things that aren't your fault, Tim. But nothing you did or could have done would have changed anything."
"It's easy to say that." Tim muttered. "But it don't feel that way."
"Well, I know that Julie doesn't blame you for anything. And if she's mad or upset, it's probably because you've been a shitty friend by not going to visit her." Jason said matter of fact.
"She deserves better than friends like me." Tim said softly, finishing off his bottle of beer.
Jason looked closely at his friend, watching the myriad of emotions passing over his face as he spoke of Julie.
"You like her." Jason said, surprise in his voice.
"Yeah Street, I usually like people I'm friends with." Tim stated, an edge to his voice.
Jason laughed. "No. You like her, like her. That's what's got you all in knots."
Tim shook his head slightly. He wasn't willing to admit to Jason something that he hadn't yet admitted to himself.
Yes, he cared about Julie and he had been worried sick that he was going to lose her.
And she was different than any other girl he'd ever known, and she treated him differently than any girl he'd ever known.
And she was hot. From her long blonde hair to her little pink-painted toenails. He had always been aware of her physical beauty, but getting to know her had shown him her inner beauty as well.
Julie was just good. That was the only word he could think of to describe her.
There was almost an innocence to Julie that made Tim feel like a better person just by being around her.
But it was one thing for them to friends, and another for him to think that she would actually want to be with him.
"I should have seen this coming, with the way you kept talking about her and how much you guys were hanging out." Jason said, a smile on his face.
Jason apparently thought that him liking Julie was a good thing from the bright smile on his face.
"Tim!" Billy called, stepping out of his bedroom and into the living room area. "Oh, hey Jason."
"Billy." Jason greeted.
"Tim, I just got off the phone with Coach Taylor. He said that if you don't show up to school tomorrow, you won't be playin' in tomorrow night's game." Billy said, giving Tim a serious look.
Tim sighed, leaning his head back against the couch.
"Tim, did you hear me?" Billy asked quickly.
"Yeah, Billy. I heard you." Tim drawled.
He heard, he just didn't want to hear it.
"So tomorrow morning, you better get your ass up and get to school. No more recuperating and pining after Julie Taylor." Billy said seriously, throwing the phone on the couch before heading back into his bedroom.
"Billy's right, Tim." Jason said after few seconds of silence. "Go to school tomorrow. Don't mess up football. And don't mess up what you've got with Julie because of your screwed up sense of responsibility."
Tim nodded his head slightly, running his fingers through his long hair as he sighed deeply.
He heard what Jason was saying, and he knew he'd go to school so he could play in the game. But he wasn't so sure about the rest.
He just couldn't help but feel that Julie would probably be better off without him.
Even though just the thought of him being without her was enough to send him to the kitchen in search of another bottle of beer.
