Chapter 9
Normal font like this the 'reality' in the story.
Musicookie's lines of the story are in italics.
Sesshomaru's lines of the story are in bold italics.
Score thus far: Musicookie 44, Sesshomaru 41
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As soon as Musicookie opened the document, she threw confetti at whichever unlucky person who stood too close.
Izaioi smiled happily, however, and began to brush the confetti out of her extremely long hair. Nothing could get under her skin. Not even Myoga singing, '100 bottles of sake on the wall' for 15 straight hours, and that was pretty annoying.
Musicookie wasn't done yet. Yelling, "SQUEEEE!" she produced two cans of silly string, one blue and one pink. She spun like a ballerina while releasing the aerosol foam. Streams of blue and pink silly string coated the characters who didn't have quick enough reflexes to dodge.
Kagome couldn't help but laugh. "Musicookie, what are you doing?"
Musicookie typed up cupcakes of all flavors and began passing them around. "What, can't a girl celebrate for having so many reviews?! I love the world!"
She shoved a cupcake in her mouth, and Naraku was standing near her so she shoved one in his mouth too. He coughed and spat it upon the ground. Evil didn't partake in cupcakes. Candy, yes. But cupcakes, no.
"I was thinking..." said Musicookie, chewing her cupcake thoughtfully. "We've been going strong at this. We've been going round after round, and we only see each other for competition. But I love you guys so much!"
She hugged Kanna to make her point, who managed to form her expressionless features into displeasure.
"I think we should party. Whaddya think? Disco ball, lit-up floor, junk food, crazy dancing... We can even do party games! I know you guys would adore 'pin the tail on the donkey.' "
Sesshomaru stepped forward, looking serious. "You would delay our battle for the useless activity of placing a tail on the rear end of a lowly pack animal?"
"Hey, don't insult donkeys! And life isn't a battle, Sesshomaru. Don't you ever want to have a little fun?"
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. Kagura chuckled, "Sesshomaru? Fun? You've got to be kidding. Those two words shouldn't even be in the same sentence together."
"Exactly," said Musicookie with a satisfied air. "I'm here to change that. And if I can't change it -- which I think will be the case -- then at least I can relax his "anti-fun" standards. And again, I don't think that'll happen, but at least I'll have fun trying."
"You are afraid of the next round, human. You are afraid of losing to this Sesshomaru, so you delay for time."
"So not true!"
"Then you are attempting to sabotage me in some manner with this...party." The unfamiliar word came out awkwardly on his tongue. Big demon lords never said such frivolous words. The most frivolous words Sesshomaru had ever uttered were 'war' and 'death.'
"Yada yada... here!" She shoved a german chocolate cupcake into Sesshomaru's mouth. Before he could even think of all the possible painful ways to kill Musicookie in a cruel, painful, torturous, and agonizingly slow manner, Musicookie was typing.
A mirrored disco ball hung from the ceiling, rotating and twinkling in the light. The floor was replaced with light-up panels. A banner saying, "Yay, it's party time!' appeared on the wall, and crepe paper in a rainbow of colors was strung across the ceiling and walls like a cheerful spider's web. A table appeared, with every food and refreshment imaginable. It was a big table. ...No, bigger than that...ok, yeah, that's big enough. Only no alcoholic beverages were there, cuz Musicookie isn't of age to drink and this story is rated K+.
...Although, Musicookie had to admit, she wondered how each of the Inuyasha characters would behave when drunk. She pondered possible fic opportunities on the subject, then returned to work.
Party hats, streamers, horns, whistles, and poppers appeared in everyone's hands, and they felt the sudden desire to put the hats on.
... I said, they put the hats on, Sesshomaru. ...Good boy.
Party games appeared, music began to play. However, it was at a suitable volume seeing as those with sensitive hearing were present.
"Thank you," said several of the demons with manners. Musicookie noticed Sesshomaru didn't thank her. Jerkwad.
Sesshomaru felt the beat of the music, and began to dance.
Jaken cried and ran to his master. He received a kick in the head, whether from anger or a misplaced dance move, nobody knew.
Musicookie ended his humiliation, satisfied. "Alright! Who's up for a game of twister?"
The only person who seemed to know what Musicookie was talking about was Kagome and the other characters from the modern era. Kagome and her friends squealed and giggled. The characters from the feudal era looked lost, except Koga.
"Twister? Hey, I'm good at that!" He took off in a whirlwind, running at insane speeds due to the jewel shards in his legs.
"Not that kind of twister! This twister..." chuckled Musicookie, unfolding a plastic mat with an evil look on her face.
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Miroku said to Naraku's butt, "You know, I don't play on this side of the playground..."
"Right hand, red!" called Musicookie.
Sota untangled himself from Miroku's robes and placed his small hand on a red spot. "I don't even know why I had to play with you guys! I'm just a kid."
Naraku looked murderous. Evil villains did not submit to this kind of humiliation. "Musicookie, is there a way to win this game?"
Musicookie thought for a long moment, making the unfortunate players' muscles scream in agony.
"I actually don't know. ...hm... Let me check on Wikipedia."
She opened a browser window and looked it up.
"For the love of Buddha, hurry up!" hollered Miroku.
"There are only ways to lose. If you fall, or fall on your elbow or your knee, you lose."
"Those rules are stupid," said Naraku. "There are all these spots here. The logical way to win is to touch all the spots at once. "
"No, I don't think that's --"
Naraku transformed and his tentacles rippled through the air, dripping slime all over. He wormed a tentacle to each of the colorful spots.
Miroku and Sota's hands and feet slipped in the slime. With a splat, they fell to the plastic mat, loudly voicing their disgust.
Naraku smiled evilly. "I win."
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Koga never had much discretion in sensitive matters. He really should've had the common sense to keep his mouth shut.
"So, Kagome, is pink your favorite color?"
Kagome flushed red. "Stop looking at them!" she sputtered angrily.
Sango squirmed uncomfortably. Kagura growled at Yura of the demon hair because she shifted her position, threatening to knock Kagura off balance.
Miroku was drooling. "This is so hot."
Musicookie spun the spinner thing and called, "Left foot, green!"
Sango fell to the mat, slipping in leftover slime from Naraku's tentacles. She brought the other girls down with her.
"Man!" said Sota. "I thought we washed all the slime off that thing!"
Kagura scoffed. "Obviously, you missed a spot."
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Naraku and Kikyo were standing by the snack table. Naraku was nibbling on something foreign called a sausage, and Kikyo had just figured out the chip is supposed to be dipped in a bowl of a gooey substance called 'dip.'
"So..." said Naraku. "How's things?"
Kikyo crunched a chip between her teeth. "Well, I like to sleep a lot. Being dead, there's not much to do."
"Yeah, I feel ya. But, hey, if you ever want something to do, I'm always available."
"Give it up, Onigumo. We're mortal enemies." Kikyo sampled a party tray of sushi, selecting a California roll.
Naraku also took a sushi. Spicy tuna with extra wasabi. Gutsy. "Yes, but all of us just sit around here when Musicookie's gone. If's not like you have anything better to do."
Kikyo swallowed her sushi and said serenely, "One can sleep. Good day, Naraku."
As she walked away, Naraku sighed and looked at the other bad guys who were watching. This included Naraku's various dopplegangers, the Band of Seven, and other villains. They seemed to be laughing at him.
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The apples bounced merrily in the water. There were about 50 of them floating in a small, two-ring inflatable pool.
"So you just go like this..." Musicookie demonstrated by kneeling and putting her hands behind her back, then trying to grab an apple with her teeth.
"This Sesshomaru will never do such a ridiculous and degrading activity."
Musicookie raised her head, sans apple. "That's hard! Here, you try."
Sesshomaru delicately squatted, not wanting to dirty his white pants on the non-existant dirt. He commanded Jaken to come and hold back his hair. With superior demon balance, he bent over the apples without any of him touching the floor, pool, or water. He put his one arm behind his back.
With his demon powers, he enlarged his fangs. Jerking his head ever so slightly, he stabbed an apple on a fang.
He stood, triumphant. He lowered his head in Musicookie's face, smiling a wicked and toothy grin. The apple was stabbed on his right fang.
"I beat you," said Sesshomaru, although it was a little hard to understand, due to the apple in his mouth. "You didn't even get one."
"I don't have demon powers! I've got human teeth. But you know what? That's ok. Because there's one thing I have that you don't."
"Wha?" said Sesshomaru, standing there looking confused with an apple in his mouth and a little green imp reverently holding his hair.
"My dignity."
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"Oh, no." said Inuyasha. "Not another one of those infernal plas-teek mats again."
"It's plastic. and this one is different from Twister."
Musicookie laid the mat on the floor and plugged it in. "This is Dance Dance Revolution. Oh, and look at that! It's the Inuyasha version!"
Musicookie began to dance on the pad. A techno-dance version of Miroku's theme song, the one with the grunting men that go "huh!" every so often, was playing.
Inuyasha actually looked interested. "This can help me with my sword stance!"
Musicookie took her cue and stepped off the pad. Inuyasha eagerly jumped on.
Since Inuyasha was looking intently at the tv screen and waiting, Musicookie got it started for him.
A house mix of Naraku's theme song began to play.
"So when you see the arrows, you need to step on that arrow on the pad. ... No, do it in tempo."
Inuyasha began to stomp on the pad with all his might. The floor shook. "Like this?"
"No, stop that! No!"
Inuyasha's long toenail claws had pierced the mat, and it was sparking with ominous electricity.
"Inuyasha, get off the pad!"
With one last stomp, the pad exploded and the tv went black. Some smoke was wafting out of the back of it.
Inuyasha looked at Musicookie eagerly, face blackened with soot. His hair took the form of a frizzy afro, and little sparks of electricity danced between a few strands.
"So, did I win?"
"Yeah, because the objective is to completely obliterate everything," Musicookie said sarcastically."
"Wow! Is there a prize?"
Musicookie went to the snack table and grabbed a paper napkin.
"Here you go. It's a ...magic scroll."
Inuyasha took the napkin, eyes bright with childlike glee.
Musicookie typed up another DDR mat and tv.
"Anyone else want to try?"
Koga looked like he wanted to, so Musicookie ushered him to the mat.
"Step on the arrows, like the ones on the screen, mkay?"
Koga was very good at it. He beat the game's fastest song at the highest difficulty.
Musicookie picked up her jaw from the floor. "Wow, you gots da skillz. And hey, you unlocked another setting...wait, super challenging expert mode? I didn't know it had that."
Koga began to dance at an insane speed. The arrows flew up the screen in a blur like when you see credits fly by at the end of a bad movie. Musicookie couldn't see Koga's feet because they moved so fast.
Musicookie spoke over the music, if it could be called that, because it sounded like when a song is played at triple or quadruple speed. "Koga... Koga! The mat's catching on fire!"
Koga leapt off the mat, cursing. He landed and nursed his feet. Kagome ran to him, intent to help with his burns. That, in turn, infuriated Inuyasha, and his loud protests echoed in everyone's ears. After a good hard 'Sit,' things were relatively quiet again.
Well, if you ignore the now roaring fire devouring what was once the dance pad.
Musicookie was screaming and freaking out. Sesshomaru kept his cool and typed, Rain fell from the non-existant skies to douse the flames.
Musicookie walked numbly to the pile of burnt plastic and wires, falling to her knees. She seemed close to tears as she tenderly gathered the remains of the dance pad in her arms. She held it, letting the rain pelt her. It was quite a pitiful scene.
Shippo patted her shoulder in sympathy. "It's ok, you can just type up another one..."
"What's the point anymore?" said Musicookie sadly.
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Big Daddy put the blindfold on.
"Now, just pin the tail on the donkey."
Big Daddy discretely sniffed the air. With a single, confident motion, he pinned the tail on the donkey's rear.
Musicookie was shocked. "Whoa. Perfect! Next!"
It was that blind guy with the huge head and the massive ears. You know, the one who can listen? He listens for rumors of the jewel shards for Naraku in the anime.
With a knobby hand, he placed the tail exactly where Big Daddy had put it before.
"Perfect. How did you get it so perfect? It's even in the same hole!"
"I heard the air molecules echoing in the hole Big Daddy made the first time."
"No way."
Next was Koga. Wearing the blindfold, he sniffed the air, and put the blindfold on and pinned the tail in the perfect position.
"Perfect," said Musicookie. "Next?"
Sesshomaru, who expressed distaste at wearing a blindfold and preferred to close his eyes instead, pinned the tail in the exact position.
"Whee, looky there -- it's perfect!" said Musicookie, now bored. "Next?"
Inuyasha stepped forward. He was excited, not to mention pumped up from "winning" in Dance Dance Revolution. He could barely contain himself as Musicookie tied the blindfold around his head.
He began stabbing the donkey poster repeatedly with the tail. The pin was making holes everywhere on the donkey.
"Inuyasha, please calm down..."
"Am I winning?"
"No, now calm down!"
Inuyasha was completely missing the donkey poster and stabbing the wall around.
By now, the point of the little thumbtack was beaten into a blunt twist of metal.
"Inuyasha, you can stop now."
"Am I winning?"
"....No."
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Musicookie set up the bamboo poles. "Everybody limbo!"
Everyone just stood there.
Musicookie demonstrated limbo, bending backwards and walking underneath the pole.
Sesshomaru scoffed. "Why must one bend backwards? Bend forward at the waist instead."
"That's not how the game works."
"Why?"
"I have no idea, I didn't invent it," Musicookie said with annoyance. Everything so far was a failure, so maybe this party was a bad idea.
"This Sesshomaru refuses to participate in such a lowly and pointless activity."
"We know."
Kagome looked sympathetic. "I'll play, Musicookie."
Musicookie put on limbo music, and Kagome cleared the pole.
"Yeah! And see, guys? Now I lower the pole by a notch, and it gets harder."
Bankotsu walked up, cocky as ever. "Let me try."
He bent backwards, but he held his massive sword Banryu, and it knocked the pole off. It clattered to the floor.
"Ban, buddy. You need to put your sword down for a second to play this."
"What?! No way I'm putting down Banryu!"
"Your sword's too big. You can't win if you keep holding it. Reason with me, here."
"Oh, yeah! I'll show you! Jakotsu! Renkotsu! Suikotsu! Genkotsu! Mukotsu! Get over here!"
Musicookie watched curiously as Bankotsu instructed his band of seven to stack themselves on top of each other. The effectively made human poles. Well, dead human poles, but whatever.
Bankotsu tossed the pole to their outstretched hands, and they held it high off of the ground. Really high.
Bankotsu looked pointedly at Musicookie and held Banryu. He strolled underneath the pole, not even crouching in the slightest because the pole was maybe 9 feet (3 meters) off the ground.
"Told ya. So, what do I win?"
Musicookie massaged her forehead. "Yay, you win some air. Here you go." Musicookie held her hands in the air and acted like she gave a bubble of air to Bankotsu.
"Cool, thanks!" It appeared he didn't catch the sarcasm in Musicookie's voice.
"All you Kotsu's, can you give me back the pole? Thanks. Alright, anyone else want to try?"
Kagome's grandfather suddenly ran up, seizing the pole and running to Naraku. "Die, demon!" G-pa began smacking Naraku with the pole.
Naraku didn't tolerate it. He summoned Saimyosho insects and they plucked the pole from G-pa's fingers.
They flew with it, clutching it with their little insect legs.
Musicookie sighed. "You know, I don't even care if we don't get that back."
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Musicookie was drowning her sorrows in sushi, lamenting that she ever came up with the idea to have a party. She stuffed sushi in her mouth.
"Are you crying, pitiful human?"
She looked at Sesshomaru, teary eyed. "No, it's the wasabi. It's way too hot."
",,,"
"I don't have to explain myself to you, jerkwad!" Musicookie slammed her fist on the snack table for emphasis. However, she hit the punch bowl. Hawaiian Punch flew through the air in slo-motion. It landed on Kanna, and dyed her red.
"I...have...HAD IT!!" she spat out, in a voice surprisingly emotional. Dripping hawiian punch, she tackled Musicookie, and they crashed into the snack table. Sausages, sushi, blocks of cheese, and even deviled eggs flew through the air. Kanna and Musicookie were already plastered in party food, and they rolled around, wrestling on the table.
Kanna rubbed a cupcake in Musicookie's face; Musicookie returned the gesture by dumping the contents of a melted chocolate fountain on Kanna.
Kagome and others who cared ran to split them up, but they slipped on olives and punch.
Inuyasha pricked his foot on a mini sandwich that was held together by a toothpick. He yowled and held his foot, looking at the mini sandwich with a murderous expression. He grabbed the sandwich and ate it with great ferocity, making sure each bite was painfully crushing.
But anyway, back to the real food fight.
"You!" Musicookie pelted a handful of salted mixed nuts at Kanna.
"I despise you!" Kanna overturned a bowl of sour cream and onion dip on Musicookie's head.
The battle raged on, until they heard a very peculiar noise. It was chuckling. Spirited chuckling. And it was coming from the most unlikely person -- Sesshomaru.
To put it in figurative terms, everyone dropped what they were doing (but Musicookie and Kanna actually did drop handfuls of food) and stared at Sesshomaru.
He stopped and said, "Your ridiculous antics amuse this Sesshomaru. You should do this daily for the sake of my amusement."
Musicookie was delighted. She clapped her hands, which were covered in chocolate frosting. "It was worth it! It was all worth it! I got you to laugh!"
She crawled off the table and typed herself clean. "Well, that's it for me. I achieved what I wanted to do." She turned to leave, but stopped.
"Oh, and Sesshomaru? You said you want me to do 'ridiculous antics daily for your amusement?' Keep dreaming, you selfish Fluff-meister. In fact... why don't you clean this mess up for me, Sessy? See ya." She smiled in an evilly innocent manner.
The last thing she saw before leaving was Sesshomaru's death glare.
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A/N: Wow! What a long chapter! But it was so much fun to write. We'll resume the fic battle next chappie. My favorite part was Inuyasha and DDR. In some episodes of the anime, you can see his claw-toenails, but in most others, they're normal toenails. I might be remembering wrong, but doesn't he get claw-toenails when he goes all 'demony?' But anyway, I love DDR, my brother got one for Christmas but it's been me who plays it. I wish you could put your own songs in it, though.
I actually didn't know how to win twister, and I seriously had to look it up. I've only played it once, so..yeah. Also, I have no idea if 50 apples can fit in one of those little pools. But here's me, caring too much over meaningless details that probably none you you noticed or even cared about until I brought them up! Yeah.
Hey! Question for you guys: What does Sesshomaru eat? Seriously, does he live off air?
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Review Responses! A few of you said you were looking forward to Sessy 'bust-a-move.' Did his short burst of dancing live up to your expectations?
hitntr - Usually that's my favorite part to write. Anything goes, so I have my fun with it. ^_^ Glad you liked the chappie!
Sassybratt - For years, I had no idea what rotflmao meant. Often, I feel lost when reading internet language. Urbandictionary . com was my savior, although I still get seme and uke mixed up. : / Naraku mistaking a diamond for candy made me lol while writing it.
coolmissy11d12 - Yay, a new reader! Thanks!
Drama Kagome - Thanks! I update this story weekly. It's stress free to write this story because there is no real plot, just a series of episodes.
Liesie - Thanks, and yeah, I'm weirded out too. Right now, it's Martin Luther King Jr. day as I write this, and Powerpuff girls is on. They were my favorite cartoon. Can I hazard a guess that you liked them too? ...Was your favorite character Bubbles? I liked how she could talk to squirrels. "la la la lala love...la la love... makes the world go round..." lolz, I'm such a dork
Puking up Diamonds - If Sessy said el fósforo, I still would have noticed cuz that translates as the match you start a fire with, not a match in a game. So he'd be telling me to throw a lit match. Wha? And start a fire!? But Smokey the bear told me not to! ^_^
