Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Author's Note: I dedicate this chapter to twiligh-forever; you are a good cyber buddy!
Chapter Nine:
Where Does Edward Fit In?
I didn't call Edward once over spring break. I know he was probably worried sick, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. This was the whole reason I was mean to him in the first place; I had too much baggage, too much drama.
This experience made me grow up even more and I knew that, deep down, I loved Edward with all of my heart and soul. But I couldn't let him know. He had to grow up at a normal pace, find someone else, and move on. I couldn't possibly be right for him. God wouldn't curse him, a beautiful angel, with someone like me.
And with that, I knew I would have to hurt him once again. I wouldn't do it the way I did last time though… I just wouldn't call him back. I shuddered even thinking about it.
It was the last day of spring break and I was mentally preparing myself for the drama that would undoubtedly overwhelm me. My dad had filed for divorce three days after we left. There would be a brutal custody battle; there wasn't a doubt in my mind about that. My mom would want me just because she's a mom, my dad would want me because he loved me.
I would most like it if they got joint custody. If I had to choose though, I'd choose my dad. He and I have been getting along really well lately… My mom and I haven't. The only reason I want joint custody is because no girl should live without her mother unless she is a true threat. I knew my mother loved me and it would break her heart if she didn't get custody.
But for now, I didn't want to think about that. I had to prepare myself to ignore Edward with all of my being. If I didn't, he would get hurt or I would get hurt; I didn't want either of those things to happen. Of course, ignoring him would hurt us both, but on a much smaller scale.
I woke up the next morning and began going through the motions. This was going to be a tough day for more than one person. I doubted, after two weeks of no calls, Edward wouldn't come up to me in school, even if it was breaking a rule. I would have to give him the full on silent treatment.
I was right.
When I got to school, Edward came up to me and asked me what happened. When, after two minutes, I still hadn't said a word, he finally comprehended what was going on. I saw his face crumple in sheer sadness and I almost reached out to comfort him… almost. But I knew I couldn't. No contact. That's how it had to be, sadly. He would find out eventually that my parents got divorced. Maybe that would help him understand a bit without me having to tell him. If I told him, he would comfort me, and I wouldn't be able to take it. I was in a lot of pain, and very vulnerable, and there's no way I would have been able to resist the pull he had on me.
I only had to last two more months with Edward's accusing stares. I was sort of glad that Edward was so angry with me. It was better than having him be sad. I couldn't stand seeing him sad; it tore me in two.
His best friend, Emmett, came up to me after lunch and asked me "What the hell my problem was?" I told him there was no problem and that he should go on his merry way. It might have been a little rude, but I honestly never liked Emmett that much so I didn't really care.
It's been two months since my dad filed for divorce. Currently, the court has given my parents temporary joint custody. This will be held until the actual hearing where a judge will decide my fait.
Naturally, word has spread through the sixth grade halls that Bella Swan's parents are divorcing. I didn't like people knowing my business but at least Edward had a bit of an inkling as to what happened. I thought that it was a good thing until he approached me in the hall on the last day of school…
"Bella, I know about your parents, and I'm sorry." When I didn't respond he continued. "I also know that that is why you are treating me this way, and I'm here say 'So what?' Why does our friendship have to end just because your parents got a divorce?"
He waited for a response but all he got were my tears. I didn't want to cry in front of him but I couldn't help myself. Before I knew it, he was consoling me and had is arm wrapped around my shoulder. I stopped the tears and dried my face as best, and as fast, as I could and told him I'd see him next year.
Author's Note: In my opinion, this is a very heart wrenching chapter; probably more so because I've lived through it.
Hope you enjoyed and I can't wait to hear your thoughts!
