It's times like these that I am thankful for my best friend. I wasn't even aware that he was bringing me back to my room. My mind was blank. I lost all touch with my senses. It was only when I realized that I was in sweat pants and a hoodie that I had my basic functions still. Sora was holding me as we sat against my headboard on my bed. I hadn't let the tears fall just yet. My eyes were wide as I stared straight ahead.

"Sora, what happened?" I whispered. "What just happened?"

"Xion is a bitch, that's what happened." He told me, stroking my hair. I bit my lip to stop the tears.

"Now everyone knows. Kairi, Roxas, everyone." I balled my hands into fists, causing myself pain. "They all know how much of a fake, asshole I am!"

"You're not a fake, asshole." He told me, and I pulled away from him, glaring. I wasn't mad at him though. I was mad at myself.

"Yes I am! And now Kairi will hate me, especially because you are here with me instead of her. She will hate me that I didn't tell her. I am a horrible person. I even talked bad about my best friend. She won't ever forgive me!" I sobbed, sitting at the end of the bed now.

"She will forgive you, Nam. Just give it some time." I pulled a pillow close to my chest and buried my face in it. I thought about blogging about how upset I was, but then I remembered-

That's what got me into this shit in the first place.


bommieNATOR
Chapter Nine
Every End Of The Day


After Sora took me back to my dorm, I hadn't seen him. He would send me texts every so often, but nothing more. I asked him to leave me alone. I think the only time I got out of my bed was to shower or eat. I stayed under the covers, wallowing in my own self pity. I screwed everything up, and now Xion looks like the good guy. I guess she was all along. Compared to me.

I refused to look at my blog. I probably had a lot of hate comments about me. I didn't think it would help me feel better. As I was pulling on my uniform, I was dreading the stares that I would get. I knew, I just knew things would turn out badly.

Taking one last look at myself in the mirror, all I saw was a blond girl with puffy eyes and dark circles. I didn't care about looking nice anymore. Roxas probably hated me now too.

I went to my first class early so I could sit down first. That way, I could put my head down and ignore the death glares. The halls were loud as usual as I stacked that days work on the corner of my desk. Pulling out a piece of paper, I began doodling, drawing pictures and writing letters that didn't mean anything. The teacher didn't bother to talk to me. Maybe they heard too. Kairi walked in next and hesitated a bit when she saw me before looking around for a different place to sit. She sat on the other side of the room, stealing glances at me every so often. I refused to look at her. I didn't want to show weakness. That just wasn't like me.

Sora came in a bit after that, giving me some coffee, to which I called him a sweetheart before he went to sit near Kairi. Sipping my coffee, I flipped through my planner. I had a few tests this week and then there was Kairi's big birthday bash this weekend, which I assumed I was uninvited to unless I heard otherwise. It was at once of the nicest clubs in the city and I was planning on picking up all my gossip there. I guess I'll have to throw this profession down the hole. I had an urge every second to pull out my phone and blog about how pissed I was at myself, but I stopped. Because then I would just get comments about how I should feel that way. And I didn't need these people telling me that.

Xion walked in to the class with her lackies behind her. She had a grin on her face wider than I had ever seen it. She laughed loudly when she saw me, causing her 'friends' to laugh as well.

"Cut it out, Xion. It's not like your ass is any cooler since this weekend." Kairi snapped on her. I thought she would turn around and smile at me, but then I realized she wasn't. She just hated Xion enough to call her out. I knew it wasn't for my benefit, but I still thanked her in my head.

"At least I have real friends." She sat down in her desk with a laugh, pulling out her makeup. Roxas strolled in after than, making eye contact with me. At first I thought he would sit with me, since he stared at me for a minute, but again I was wrong. He took a seat next to Xion, although he ignored her most of the time. Class hadn't even started and I couldn't stand being here. I stood up, bag in hand and walked past Xion's desk to leave class.

"Look's like gossip girl can't handle the pressure." Xion laughed, causing others to laugh. I gritted my teeth and turned around to face her desk. "What?"

I pushed her desk over onto the floor before walking out of the classroom. I didn't even care to stop when the teacher told me to. I walked all the way back to my room before changing from my school uniform to dark jeans, a white tank top, and my leather coat. I didn't bother to mess with the rest of me before I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I was stopped a few times when people asked me where I was headed to on a school day, but at this time, I didn't even care if I got suspended. I had to get off campus for a while.

There was a small child's park a few city blocks from the school. I took my time to head over there and sat on the swing. Gripping the chains on the swing, I dug my feet into the wood chips. I know I shouldn't but I had to blog. I whipped out my phone.

bommieNATOR

Posted on Monday, April 18th at 8:10am

Current Mood: Fucked
Current Location: Memory Lane
Current Music: Does it even matter?

Subject: I don't think you care.

I'm pretty sure you all hate me.

Don't worry, I hate myself too. You guys aren't the only ones.

I'll just disappear for a while.

Ciao.

No Comments Have Been Posted Yet

I blew strands of my hair from my face. Twisting and turning in the swing, I was making myself sick to my stomach, but that was the least of my worries. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I had left campus without permission, so as soon as I set foot back there, I would be confined to my room. So going back was out of the question for now. I twisted around to face the city. There wasn't much to do this early on a Monday. So I chose that I would stay here until later at night.

At least, that was the plan before a certain someone showed up.

"Sora what are you doing?" I shouted, standing from the swing. "You are going to get in trouble."

He laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Well, your blog post worried me, so I came to make sure you weren't going to do anything stupid."

I rolled my eyes at him, wrapping him in a hug. "I'm glad you care, at least."

"Kairi does too, she just is having a hard time processing everything."

"She knows you are here right? You aren't sneaking around and getting me in deeper shit?"

"She knows." He said, taking a seat in the swing that I was sitting next to previously. "She actually told me to come. Xion flipped shit when you knocked over her desk (which was funny as hell, by the way), and Kairi defended you as much as she could."

I held in a slight chuckle as I sat back down, swinging back and forth lightly.

"So, what are we to do now that we are free from hell for a bit?" Sora asked, pushing himself into a higher swing. I tapped my chin in deep thought.

"Let's leave." He stopped suddenly, eyes wide.

"What?" He asked me.

"I've always wanted to see your hometown. And I have always wanted to see a beach. Kill two birds with one stone." I suggested.

"You're talking playing hooky for at least the rest of the week!" I winked at him. He sighed.

The plan was a go.

tbc.


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