Friends; the furthest he could get from her without leaving…
Dean felt Jo's hand come up to his face and her fingertips caress his stubbled jaw, so he broke away. They were both holding their breath as he opened his eyes to look down, not at her. His face, his lips, were still close; too close for Jo. She leaned into him, but he turned his head and moved away.
As he stood up and walked to the far corner of the room – the furthest he could get from her without leaving – Jo rubbed her shoulders nervously. She felt like that schoolgirl again; the one Sam – or whoever – had told her Dean saw her as. It had just been lies, but Jo had taken it to heart a little, and now? Well, talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.
"Jo?" his scratchy voice said through the awkwardness, "Jo. We need to talk about some things."
"I know." she said softly, looking down at the floor when he turned round. She knew this would happen eventually. His time was running out; he wanted a life. She knew Dean was a good man; he'd stick by Ashley, but her? She couldn't ask him to spend his last few months with her if he didn't want to. How can you ask someone to love you? Ask someone to be your one, when they're dying and want to make the most of things?
"Things have to change, Jo." he said looking blank, emotionless, "We can't carry on like this around the b…around Ashley. Look, I know this is partly…okay, mainly my fault. I kissed you just then, and I shouldn't have, but…"
'Let's just be friends.' Jo thought.
"I'm not myself. I've taken it too far. It isn't healthy for Ashley if we start anything now that we can't…Well; erm…Look, I'm gonna be stronger; stop acting rash and doing things I shouldn't with you. From now on…"
'Let's just be friends.' Jo thought again.
"We should just…Do you know what I'm saying, Jo?"
Jo nodded so Dean continued ranting.
"We should just go back to how things used to be. You know, when we were…Well; What I'm saying is maybe we should just be friends."
There it was finally, but even though she'd been expecting it, his words still cut deep. An involuntary lump clammed up her throat and she only prayed he wouldn't ask her a direct question, because she didn't want him to hear it in her voice.
Dean couldn't believe what he'd said, but he'd said it and just waited for her reaction…but she said nothing. Maybe his ego was getting out of control he thought; maybe he was imagining her feelings for him. "What do you think?"
"I'm…" her voice choked out on her, as she had feared it might.
'Maybe not' Dean thought.
"I'm really tired Dean. Can we talk about this later?" she asked, forced smile as clear as day.
"Sure." Dean replied; forced smile also. He began to walk out of the room and she turned to lay on her side, facing away. He paused at the door and looked at her. 'She could just be tired,' he thought to himself, 'Or you could have just broke her heart.'
"So did you and Jo ever talk about…"
"Yes." Dean said, hopefully stopping Sam before he could start. Why couldn't he ever be left to drive in peace? This was simple, 'pick up Jo, the baby and drive back to Bobby's'. No talking was necessary.
"And?"
"And we talked. Our lips moved and everything." Dean replied obviously not in a sharing mood.
"I bet they did." Sam said under his breath, but Dean heard him and tossed his brother an unamused stare. "Oh come on man;" Sam continued, "tell me what happened?"
Dean huffed then, "We're just gonna be friends."
"What is this? High School?" Sam joked. Then he paused, his eyes widened, "Wait a minute, Dean. You didn't actually say that to her did you?" Dean just stared straight ahead, giving Sam all the answers he wanted. "Dude, you are such an idiot sometimes." Sam said as Dean just tried to concentrate on driving.
They didn't talk after that, until they got to the hospital. The ride was awkward. 'Not as awkward as the ride back would be' Dean thought. Or as awkward as the next few weeks at Bobby's.
Dean had visited Jo again after the 'friends' discussion and she suggested moving in with them. Dean was pleased for the most part, because it meant he could see Ashley more, but he was also nervous, because it meant he would see Jo more too. It was also making things harder, because Dean was confused by her sudden change of heart. Bobby had asked her if she wanted to move in months ago, as had Ellen, so that she wouldn't be alone during her pregnancy. Jo had refused both; she loved her apartment and didn't want to leave it. It seemed odd to him that out of the blue she'd asked Bobby if his offer still stood. He was very confused about what was going on in her head. But in fact, Jo hadn't asked Bobby; it was the other way around...
..."Hey, Jo."
"Hey, Bobby." Jo smiled, sitting up a little straighter.
"Just been to see the little one; thought I'd drop in and see how her mom's been doing."
"I'm okay. Thanks Bobby." Jo was half honest. She was okay, but she was dreading her own mom coming in a few days. She wasn't looking forward to her and Dean running into one another.
"Well Jo. I just wanted to say that when I told you that you could come stay with us, I was being sincere."
"Thanks Bobby, but…"
"You love Dean. Don't you?" Bobby interrupted.
"What?" she said caught off-guard.
"I thought you might." he continued, pacing the room, "You see, so do I; like he was my own boy sometimes, and I can't bare to see him like this."
Jo stared. She didn't know what Bobby was getting at, at all.
"He's giving up, Jo."
Jo just kept staring, but his words did strike a chord with her.
"I'm not saying he doesn't love the kid. God, that's the only reason I'm telling you this. He loves her and I…" he stopped, making sure Jo would listen, "I think if he could be with her, all the time, he'd get some of his fight back. He'd start believing."
"But Sam? He hasn't?…I mean…"
"Sam hasn't found a way out." Bobby replied, making Jo nod and hang her head. "He might never…but if Dean isn't willing to try and stay here, Sam's fighting a losing battle for sure."...
…Jo did love Dean – she couldn't help it – and after Bobby's visit she'd decided she would forget herself; forget how hard it would be – to be there with him, but not be with him – and she'd just do what she could to help.
When she came out of the hospital doors she saw Sam and Dean bickering, but she couldn't hear what they were saying. They stopped when they saw her and both jumped out of the car.
AN:- Just wanted to say I'm in the middle of editing the next Chapter (Chapter 10) it was a longish Chapter (for me) so it has taken me a while, but now I've decided to chop it into 2 Chapters instead of posting it all as one big one (it wasn't the size that made me do it, I'll explain my reasons once I've put the Chapter up, which should be very soon). So because I've chopped Chapter 10 into 2 Chapters there won't be 14 Chapters overall to this story there will now be 15...
