EMILY POV - Just being with you!
Chapter 9
After walking away from Naomi I felt broken, I am a nice person it's my best quality, but she just doesn't want to know me, no matter how much I try she just kept knocking me back. I hated the way she was making me feel, all my thoughts were completely consumed by Naomi, it sounds cliché but she was the last thing on my mind when I went to sleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up, and other than when I managed to concentrate on a lesson at college she pretty much took up all my thoughts throughout the day.
I don't even remember when I started having feelings for her but I just couldn't see them going away. I just wanted to spend time with her, in any situation and no matter how much I wanted to I just couldn't give up on her.
I sometimes felt like I knew Naomi better than she knew herself and I seriously couldn't believe she didn't want to run for student president. She loved politics, we had a politics class together and listening to her speak so passionately in that class was probably what made me fall for her, I knew she wanted to do a politics degree and couldn't believe she would pass up this opportunity, it would look great on her uni application and not only that, she would be bloody good at it.
So even though I knew I was being a pain in the arse and probably crossing a line I decided to get an application for her and take it to her house, I wanted to make her see that she could do this. I know this makes me seem crazy, turning up at her house after she made it so clear earlier that she didn't want this. But Naomi made me crazy, loving Naomi was making me crazy.
I went over there determined, outside of college when it was just the two of us maybe she would be different, maybe she would talk to me like a human being for a change, drop the act. I just wanted her to open up a bit and not seem so embarrassed by my presence.
I stood outside her house for a while, it was very Naomi, an alternative looking house, with lots of yellow. It looked much more individual and friendly than my house. I knocked on her door and instantly felt my heart beating faster in my chest.
A bizarre looking man answered the door, I didn't expect that. I thought Naomi just lived with her mum, but then that was just me presuming from the tiny bits of information about her personal life Naomi occasionally gave out.
"Is Naomi in" I asked the scruffy man, all of a sudden thinking, is this actually Naomis house still, she well could have moved since middle school.
"come in, come in" he said in a very chilled out way, he seemed fairly distracted and pointed me in the direction of a wooden door , that's where Naomi lives he said.
"thanks" I called after him as he walked away, what a freak I thought, I wondered who the hell he was to Naomi, he seemed high and it was a week day afternoon! I made my way to Naomis room quickly as just being stood in her hall way on my own made me feel like a burgalar.
I tapped on Naomis door lightly but there was no answer, she probably wasn't home yet, I had got a lift straight here from Effy as she had her mums car for the day (she smiled knowingly all the way here, which I fully ignored, there is no point lying to that girl, she knows everything about you just by looking at you, its quite unsettling)
I turned the door handle and entered her bedroom, it was lovely, I loved it instantly, it smelt of her and I inhaled deeply. I thought about just leaving her a note and the application form on her bed, but I just didn't want to leave, I was in Naomis bedroom, somewhere I had thought about being often and I didn't know if I would ever get to be here again. So I sat down on her bed nervously and waited for her to come in, I adjusted my position about a million times. I didn't want her to think I had been through her things or anything like that.
Even though I was sat waiting for her it still made me jump as she opened the door, it swung open and she looked flustered and annoyed. Stopping dead in the doorway when she saw me.
I tried and look at her in a non confrontational way to stop her being angry with me. I can tell she is pissed off but I am not sure if it is because I am here of if its something else, but to be fair this must be creeping her out, its like I am stalking her, if I feel like that she must too.
She asks me how I got in and I relax a little the stress on her face seems to reduce which was not what I was expecting. I tell her about the freaky guy who let me in and she comes into her room fully shutting the door, this must be a good sign I hope... jesus I wish I didn't read so much into everything.
But her body language is very closed, she leans against her bedroom furniture with her arms folded and abruptly asks me what I want, with massive attitude in her voice.
I let out a small sigh placing the election form on her bed, to which she tells me "I am very annoying" I retaliate quickly telling her she inspires it in me! I am pleased I had a come back and didn't just sit there staring. I feel my confidence building and it seems even though we aren't exactly being nice to each other we are building up some kind of rapport with each other. A fucked up one, but I will take anything right now.
Naomi places a matching form on the bed next to mine ... I knew it! I knew she would wanna run, god why does she not just be honest instead of putting all these barriers up! She really is a pain.
I get up offering to help her with the form, in reality I am looking for a reason to stay, but typically of Naomi she rejects my offer telling me she doesn't need my help!
I look at her and instead of playing the needy idiot role that I seem to have slotted into I decide, fuck it, even though I don't want to I will leave her to it. If she wants to be a loner then fine, and I walk out quickly before she can see how much I want to stay. As I leave I think I see a look of disappointment in her face, that kills me. I can see she doesn't actually want me to leave but hasn't got the balls to say it!
I wish I hadn't seen this look as I would have been half way down the street by now, instead I stand outside her door, still not being able to give up on this girl, she makes my blood boil. I decide to have it out with her... jeez I would rather argue with her than just have this under lying shit between us constantly. I take a deep breath and fling the door open. Naomi is stood in exactly the same position as she was when I left and turns to face me.
"JUST SO YOU KNOW, MY FIRST THOUGHT WHEN I SEE YOU IS NOT, I WANT TO FUCK THAT GIRL!"
I could hear myself saying it but I couldn't quite believe it was coming out of my mouth. Naomi looked just as shocked as I felt. I was being so forceful and aggressive and for once in my life I was saying what I was thinking, it felt amazing, I couldn't stop myself.
"WE KISSED, TWICE, IT WAS NICE! BUT ITS ALSO NICE JUST BEING WITH YOU.......WHEN YOUR NOT BEING A PRICK THAT IS!"
Naomi gave me a stunned thanks, I could tell by the look on her face that she was trying to work out whether that should be taken as a compliment or not. I calmed down a bit not wanting to push my luck too far with her. I gave her a genuine compliment to soften the verbal attack telling her she'd be a good student president.... it seemed to work as she asked me to stay!
Result! I walked back into Naomi Campbells bedroom shutting her door behind me, placing my bag firmly on the floor.
It was awkward at first but we had the election form to complete, Naomi read my mind and produced a bottle of vodka from a draw, it was definitely needed as some of the silences were killing me.
After about half the vodka was gone it was great, the conversation flowed and we laid head to toe on her bedroom floor. My confidence grew and I started to take the piss out of a slogan she had suggested. I was even being mildly amusing, this is what I loved about Naomi when we were good we were really good, she made me feel like I could be fully myself and say what I was thinking without being judged. I boldy told Naomi I thought she could do anything, which I did, I really thought this girl had no boundarys!
Then out of the blue she asked it "What do lesbians do"
Jesus I thought, how did she even swing the conversation that way, I was instantly embarrassed and brought some time swigging vodka which was much needed. At the same time I was thinking "fucking yes" she has been wondering what lesbians do, she has being thinking about girls having sex, this was exactly what I wanted to hear, and even though it was awkward this was the first time I was going to have a sex chat with another girl. It was liberating.
I lied and said I didn't know, even though I have never had sex with another girl.... I have well lets just say researched it.
She was so upfront but I could hear some nervousness or hesitation in her voice when she brought up strap-ons!
This made me totally uncomfortable but it was funny! The mood got a bit more serious as I explained to Naomi what I thought lesbian sex was about! For some reason I mentioned oils.... why I said that is beyond me! But it made Naomi laugh... I tried not to break eye contact with her and we definitely had a moment, I wanted to lean in and kiss her so badly. But I didn't wanna fuck this up, not when we were getting on so well and actually spending time together on our own for once. But fuck me I wanted to kiss her, show her how I thought lesbians had sex!
She laid back down on the floor laughing breaking the moment. Still laughing at my oils suggestion.
We both then lay in silence for ages, occasional giggles broke the quiet. It was nice just being in someones company without having to say anything. I let out a little yawn which I instantly regretted I felt like that was it the end of the night, she would know I was sleepy and within 5 minutes I would be alone again!
Naomi yawned to and stretched out next to me, lifting herself up to sitting and then to standing looking at her watch. "Fuck Ems its 2am" I was fully aware of that but couldn't face mentioning it earlier because I really didn't want to leave. I smiled sadly and accepted a hand she had extended to help me up stumbling slightly as the vodka I had consumed took effecr. I moved over to where my bag was and lifted it onto my shoulder and slipped my shoes back on clumsily!
"what the fuck you doing Emz you can't walk home on your own, pissed at 2am" Naomi said as she saw me with my shoes on, she was clearly quite pissed too.
"Oh" I said, sorry i just thought, well you know!
"you can stay Emily, as long as you don't try and jump my bones while I am sleeping" Naomi winked at me.
I laughed, a little disappointed as I reckon if she hadn't said that I would have probably done exactly that.... well not while she was sleeping!!
She threw a t shirt at me which landed on the floor, I was too drunk to catch, and she had one for herself, turn round then she said smugly! I laughed and turned round only to be faced with a rather large mirror! In which I saw Naomi pull off her top to expose her gorgeous body.
"Ahem" I coughed not knowing where to look.
"EMILY" Naomi said as she looked at my reflection in the mirror!
"What, you just said turn round, you didn't say anything about not looking" I stated in my defense
"pervert" she chuckled as she climbed into bed.
I took my dress off not caring that Naomi could see me, I didn't have any issues with my figure and have spent my life sharing a bedroom with Katie who is always prancing about naked. Bodies weren't private in my house. Plus I was drunk therefore I had vodka confidence.
Naomi looked fully awkward and diverted her eyes from me, looking at anything else in the room but me. I clambered into the other side of the bed and turned to face Naomi. She lay on her back staring at the ceiling. I longed so badly to know what she was thinking. It took all my might not to reach out and take her hand in mine. I didn't know if I would ever get such a perfect opportunity to make a move on her. We were in bed, we had discussed sex and we were drunk. But at the same time I was aware after a lovely evening and great progress I could fuck it all up with one foul move.
So instead I laid on my side just studying the blonde. She truly was perfect!
Naomi turned her head to face me after a few minutes of silence!
"What" she asked confused and slightly embarrassed as I kept my stare.
"Nothing" I said faking innocence with a smile
"Goodnight Emily" she said firmly but in a jokey way.
I decided that I should take that as a "don't even think about trying to have sex with me"
So I turned onto my back and mimicked her tone "Goodnight Naomi"
With that we both slowly drifted off to sleep, other than the fact I had not got the kiss Naomi again it had basically been the most perfect evening. She had let her guard down and after this she could not argue that we weren't friends.
I couldn't wait to wake up next to her!
