A/N: Sorry for the terribly long wait. So no extremely long author's note. Just want to say thank you to all who reviewed. You are greatly appreciated:-) Hope you enjoy this chapter. Apologies in advance for any grammatical errors!
M Rated
Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters.
Lose To Win - Chapter 9
"Ugh I'm so exhausted." Carl says settling in the bed with Enid for the night. She smiles.
"I bet you are. How were things today?" she asks him while scooting closer to him. She moves in a bit of a struggle then Carl just decides to move to the remaining space between them, making it easier for her. He places his hand on her stomach and caresses it gently.
"Better than expected. I met my dad." Carl says with a tired smile.
"Really?" Enid asks surprised but happy.
"Yeah. He's pretty chill. I like him. I'm meeting my mom tomorrow." Carl says not so enthusiastically as before.
"Something tells me you don't like the idea of that?" Enid says playing with strands of his hair.
"She hid me from my dad. I have a feeling if he knew about me, I would've never been in foster care." Carl says. Enid sighs and takes his hand.
"Then I would've never met you. And we wouldn't have our little girl growing inside of me." Enid says with puppy dog but playful eyes. Carl smiles.
"You're right." Carl says kissing her. "I'm sooo thankful you're in my life. I just wish my dad could've been in my life too." She nods.
"I understand. Wish my dad would have never left. But at the same time, I'm glad he did. He never loved me. He never wanted me here. I was a mistake to him." Enid said looking up at the ceiling. Her eyes were full of stagnant tears.
"And that's his loss. It's his loss he couldn't see the perfect girl that you are. You're beautiful, babe. You're smart. Strong. Thoughtful. Loving. Caring. Hmm. I got lucky." he tells her grinning while preventing the unshed tears from shedding with his finger. He then intertwines their fingers.
"No I got lucky." Enid tells him burying her face into his neck. He smiles.
"Yeah yeah. So how was your day?" he asks her.
"Well once I finished all the work I had for today, I watched movies and ate ice cream. And then I slept." she shrugs.
"Sounds fun." Carl chuckles.
"It's better when you're here. But I'll cut you some slack for now." she says. He grins.
"You better. Has she kicked any today?" Carl asks hopefully.
"Nope." Enid says shaking her head.
"Hmm. Maybe she'll kick for me again." Carl says with a smirk leaning his head down to kiss Enid's expanded stomach.
"She must hate me." Enid sighs.
"She can't hate you already. You're her mom. You're giving her life. She's just a daddy's girl." Carl smirk grows.
"Whatever!" Enid says rolling her eyes then giggling.
"I'm serious." Carl says and then an uncomfortable frown appears across Enid's face. Then Carl notices the baby moving around. He smiles and places both his hands back onto her stomach. The baby then kicks close to Carl's left hand. "Told you."
"Ugh. Shut up. Well... She's awake now. I probably won't ever sleep tonight." she rolls her eyes.
"It's okay. Didn't you say you slept a little today?" Carl shrugs.
"Carl, in case you missed something, I'm six and a half months pregnant. I need more than a little sleep." Enid says putting emphasis on the word, "little."
"Okay okay. Rest. I'll rub your tummy." Carl says kissing her stomach then going up to kiss her lips.
"Aren't you gonna shower?" Enid asks. Carl nods.
"Once you are asleep." Carl says wrapping both arms around each side of her from behind and placing both his hands on her stomach. She nods and closes her eyes.
"Love you." she says to him.
"Love you too." he says back.
*The Next Day*
Today was the day... Beth dreaded it. She wanted to meet Lori to figure who in the hell Rick married but at the same time she didn't want to actually face her. She could only imagine how much tension there would be. Between Rick and Lori. Between her and Lori. Between Carl and Lori. Between Rick and Shane if Lori decided to bring him alone. It could only get messy from there.
Beth wasn't called in to work today so that was one less thing to worry about.
She got up and walked into the kitchen. She assumed Maggie or Tara was awake when she heard rattling around in the kitchen.
She turns the corner and sees Gracie looking in the cabinets. Beth just watches in amusement until Gracie notices her.
"Mommy wouldn't wake up!" Gracie says shrugging.
"Here let me help. What do you want?" Beth asks her kneeling down to her height.
"Pop-tart." Gracie says clasping her hands together.
"Strawberry or cookies and cream?" Beth asks.
"Uhhhh cookies and cweam!" Gracie exclaims.
"Alright. Let me put it in the toaster okay?" Beth assures and Gracie nods. "Go sit at the table for me. And when it's ready, I'll bring it to you."
Gracie nods obediently and scurries to the table and climbs into the chair.
It were moments like this that made Beth want some kids of her own. Not now, of course but sometime soon. Like 5-7 years from now.
Cause Gracie is just so adorable. Beth would love to wake up to that everyday. And being called mommy. It was always a dream of hers.
But now, she had to tend to her aunt duties.
The pop tarts popped up from the toaster and Beth put them onto a plate for Gracie and took them to her.
"Tank you aun Bef." Gracie says as Beth kisses her on the top of her head.
"You're welcome sweetie." Beth says then walks to the bedroom where Maggie was sleeping. She sits next to her on the bed. "Mags. Wake up. Gracie is up and I'm probably leaving in a few to go to the hospital. Get up." She groans.
"Ugh. Why?" Maggie says still half-asleep.
"I just explained why." Beth sighs. Maggie sits up, sighing while doing so.
"There aren't enough hours in the day for this." Maggie said standing from the bed and walking to the kitchen.
"Good morning mommy." Gracie says finishing the last bite of her first Pop tart.
"Morning baby." Maggie says going over to kiss her on the head.
"Mommy can you call daddy? I miss him. I wanna talk." Gracie says pouting.
"Okay we'll call him once you're finished okay?" Maggie says.
Gracie then begins to eat faster.
"Slow down Gracie. The phone ain't going nowhere." Beth says starting to walk off. "I'm going to get dressed."
"Good luck today." Tara says tiredly, sitting up from the couch.
"Oh, sleeping beauty finally decided to wake up." Beth says.
"I've been awake this whole time. I've just been lying here." Tara says shrugging.
"Welp... I'm gonna go get dressed and leave." Beth says.
"Tell me how meeting the she-devil goes." Tara says. Beth rolls her eyes.
"Tara. You don't know her and neither do I. Let me see how today goes and then I can talk crap about her." Beth tells her.
"Okay okay." Tara lies back down on the couch. "Say hello to Rick for me will you."
"Yeah tell him I said hey too." Maggie says smirking.
"Whatever." Beth raises her hand and walks to her bedroom.
*At the hospital*
"I'm not ready for this." Rick sighs. Beth caresses his head.
"Do you know when she'll be here?" she asks him. He shook his head.
"Only time will tell. I just feel myself getting more nauseous as time goes by." he says.
"Do you need me to get a nurse or-"
"No it's just nerves. I just-" he takes another big sigh.
"What's wrong Rick?" she asks him softly.
"I've just always felt... l-like I'm not really worth anything. S-since she left me for him. I know I'm always here speaking p-positive, encouraging you, but I still struggling with things like that." he says anxiously playing with his fingers. Beth smiles.
"Here, I have always adored you. And I adore you even more for admitting that to me. Usually, men are afraid to show emotion and tell people how they really feel. They think it's a sign of weakness but it's quite the opposite actually. In a woman's eyes. Well in my eyes." Beth says stroking the tiny stubble on his face.
"Since when have you been the one to give me insightful words? Thought that was my job." Rick jokes.
"Hey we can take turns with this." Beth jokes back. Rick chuckles. "But hey... It's okay to be insecure. Everyone is insecure about something. Like me with my music."
"You shouldn't be insecure about that. Your voice is like... honey." Rick smirks.
"Okay. I'll take that as a compliment." Beth giggles.
"Very much a compliment." Rick nods.
"And you shouldn't be insecure about anything either. You're handsome... funny... intuitive... charming... And I love you for that." she rambles.
Beth mentally slaps herself for that one.
"You love me huh?" Rick smirks.
"Not like that. Not in love." Beth giggles.
"Uh huh. Fair enough. I guess it's too soon to tell anyway huh." Rick says taking her hand, looking at her with soft eyes.
"Yeah." Beth blushes, biting her bottom lip.
"Good morning guys." Carl says after walking in.
"Good morning." Beth smiles.
"Morning." Rick says with a nod. "Um. How are you?" Carl shrugs.
"Good I guess."
"How's your... your... um your..." Rick stutters. Carl grins.
"Girlfriend. Don't be so weird about it." Carl chuckles.
"Well it's weird. So I can be weird about it. You're 12." Rick says.
"16. I'm 16." Carl corrects. "And she's good. Still pregnant. But good."
"That's good. You should bring her with you one day." Beth says sweetly. Carl smiles.
"I'll definitely think about that. You know once everything gets settled." Carl says. Beth nods understanding. "So when do you think uh.. she'll be here?"
"Your guess is just as good as ours." Rick sighs.
"Well that's great. My nerves are through the roof about this." Carl says. "Scared of how she'll react to me."
"I think we're all feeling that way. I know I am." Beth says pulling her hair down from her messy bun to let her head get some air.
"Why're you feeling that way?" Carl asks.
"Yeah why?" Rick asks curiously.
"Because. I just- I don't want her to hate me or anything. For being here with you and all." Beth shrugs.
"If she has a problem then I'll handle it. We're not together anymore. She shouldn't have a problem." Rick says firmly.
"We have your back Beth." Carl smiles.
"How can you have someone's back whom you barely know against your own mother?" Beth asks amused.
"I barely know my mom either. I just feel... I feel like I've known you forever. So that's what I'm gonna go with." Carl says. Beth smiles softly.
"That's really sweet. You know... Even though you just met your dad, you're like him in a lot of ways. And that's a good thing." Beth says. Carl blushes and shrugs. Rick groans. "What, Rick?"
"I wish we weren't doing this while there's a tube in my chest. It's very uncomfortable." Rick sighs.
"Well hopefully it doesn't last long." she tells him. He sighs.
Then a nurse whom Beth has never seen before walks in. She was a blonde woman with blue eyes. She looked to be in her mid or late thirties with a couple of creases on her forehead.
"Hey Rick." she says. "How're you feeling today?"
"Uncomfortable but I'm still living." he says. "Andrea, I want you to meet my son, Carl and my girlfriend, Beth."
"Didn't know you had a son!" she says surprised.
"Yeah I didn't either." Rick mumbles.
"And I've seen Beth around. I just wasn't aware that you two were together! You two look nice together." Andrea smiles genuinely.
"Well thank you. Are you here to check my vitals or..."
"Actually no. But I've come to tell you that we've been monitoring you a lot and we see that you're doing very well. Nothing seems to have worsened regardless of the recent events with the pleural effusion that occurred in your lungs. We've decided that once the chest tubes come out, you're free to go. But under certain circumstances. You have to come here once a week for your chemo. This doesn't guarantee that you'll be fine later on but you're fine right now and deserve to get out of here for a little bit. Live a normal life." Andrea says with a smile.
"Really? That's great!" Beth says with a big grin.
"That's more than great." Rick says with a toothy grin. "But are you sure nothing will change? Up until I get the tube out?"
"Can't guarantee you that but it's looking like you'll be fine. Just continue to hope and pray. Well... You hope and I pray. Just in case praying is not your kind of thing." Andrea says.
"I'll be praying too." Beth says kissing Rick's hand. Andrea smiles.
"Good. Well I'll see you guys later. Have a good day." Andrea says and leaves.
"Well this is good." Carl says with a smile. Then another nurse walks in.
"You have a visitor Mr. Grimes." he says. Carl closes his eyes and takes a nervous deep breath. So did Beth. And Rick didn't breathe at all.
The door opens wider and there stood Lori and Shane with a sleeping little boy in his arms.
Rick just held on to Beth's hand more firmly. He needed it.
The nurse had left and the door closed. Then there were 6.
Rick slowly looked up. Seeing everything they were supposed to be. He couldn't help but feel guilty. And insecure. He wished he never made that call now. But this was mainly for Carl's sake.
There was silence. Tons of stares. It seemed no one knew where to start.
"So you're Lori?" Carl started.
I was gonna stop it here but I figured that would be cruel considering I've made you guys wait long enough for this chapter... Anywho... Moving right along...
"Yes. And you're... my son." she says shakily.
"Carl." he corrected.
"I really don't know where to start." Lori says quietly.
"How about from the beginning? That's usually works for most stories right?" Carl asks.
"Can we please all just say hello first? Or how is everyone?" Lori asks.
"How do you think we are..." Rick says in a whisper. "I just found out I have a son. He's 16 years old now. For 16 years I have missed out on his life. Was I that bad to deserve this? And then you have the nerve to walk in here with Shane and your child. Or am I wrong? Is that your child?"
Lori intentionally ignored the first part of Rick's rant.
"Yes. He's two. His name is Carter. Carter Walsh." Lori says with a smile.
"Carter." Carl mumbles. "You know what... That's my brother. I can't be mad at him. He's a baby. I just wish I could've had that... parents... when I was his age."
"I understand." Lori says.
"I don't think you do. Can you start from the beginning so we can make some sense of this?" Carl asks.
"Yeah. Well... It was March of 1999... When I had Carl."
"Start... From... The... Beginning." Carl says.
"I was 20... Rick was about 25. I got pregnant in October of 1998. We had been married for two years. Apparently, it had been while we were so busy. He was training to become a deputy. I was still in college... I was stressed. When March came... I figured I was dying... Turns out... I was having a baby. None of it made sense. I would still get my monthly periods... I never.. I never gained weight. Then you just came out of surprise that day at the hospital. You were slightly premature. But you were the most precious baby. But I knew I had to give you up. We weren't ready for you. I was still in college. Stressed out. Rick was stressed out with training. It was the best thing to do." she told them.
"You didn't even tell me but you say it was the best thing to do. How do you know it was the best thing to do? I didn't even have a say so in the situation. Is that fair? Carl grew up without his father and mother. Is that fair?" Rick asks softly.
"I didn't want to be tied down to you. I saw the stress your job was bringing. I knew the worst was coming... I didn't want to bring a child through that. I didn't want to go through that. It was easier to leave you when the time came because I gave him up." Lori says.
"So you knew you were going to leave me only 2 years into our marriage?" Rick asks.
"No but I saw where it was heading. But I stayed because I had hope. I just knew it was gonna get better but it never did." she tells him.
"So it was all about you... The only word I've heard you say was, I. I this. I that. You say you didn't want me to go through that but I'm pretty sure I've been through much worse. I've been to several different foster homes. And a lot of them were terrible. But you thought it was best." Carl says.
"I did think it was best." Lori said quietly.
"Carl.." Beth says softly as she saw tears start to roll down his face. She gets up and pulls Carl into her embrace and starts to whisper in his ear. "Try to hear her out. I know you don't want to. I know it doesn't make sense but try to understand her side of it all. The situation will only worsen it you're hateful towards her. I promise you'll feel better doing so." Carl nodded and they pulled away. Beth went back to her place beside Rick.
Carl sighs and wipes his tears. He nods.
"Okay." Carl says.
"Okay?" Lori asks.
"Everyone has different opinions on what they think is best for every situation. I don't think what you did was best but you did... And everything happens for a reason. I was given up for a reason beyond yours... I was blessed with a beautiful beautiful girlfriend. And she's pregnant with our little girl... And if you hadn't given me up... I would've never met her. So... Thank you. Although it bitters me to think of your decision, I still thank you." Carl says looking down. A small smile appeared on Lori's face. Rick still looked annoyed but sort of relieved that Carl was able to forgive her.
Because at the end of the day, she was still his mother.
"Rick?" Lori asks with hopeful eyes. Rick just nodded. "I'm hoping you can forgive me so we can move past this. I've been holding on to this guilt for God knows how long but I want to let it go."
"What good is that gonna do for me..." Rick says. Beth glares at him. He sees her out of his peripheral. He sighs and turns his head to look at Beth. "I just don't see how it'll affect me any..."
"Stop being stubborn. Just do it." Beth says softly.
Her voice was so soft but firm enough that he obliged without question.
He sighs for the 100th time in the past ten minutes.
"Even though... you never told me about our child... and that you had been with my best friend for the last bit of our marriage and then proceeded to marry him once we were divorced all while I was diagnosed with CLL... Even through all of the lies and deceit, I guess I forgive you..." Rick says.
"Rick..." Beth says.
"I forgive you..." he corrects himself through a stale smile. Beth caresses his hand. Lori takes a deep breath. Beth smiles.
"Well that's good." Lori says looking at Shane. Then Shane looks to Beth then back at Lori. Beth noticed.
"Oh I'm sorry. I never introduced myself. I'm Beth. Rick's girlfriend." she says. Lori forms an "O" with her mouth.
"I should've known. The way you two look at each other... You're a good looking couple." Lori says genuinely. Beth blushes. "She's beautiful Rick."
"I know." Rick says grinning at Beth. Beth rolls her eyes. Lori smiles one last time. Just glad that everyone was okay and no one had killed anyone.
"Is that all here?" Lori asks.
"No one more thing." Shane says walking up to Rick's bed. "I'm so sorry for everything man. I'm not sorry for falling for her but I'm sorry that our friendship was ruined because of it. Because I truly missed you. I never intended to betray you. I hope you can forgive me."
Rick sits and ponders.
They had been friends for God knows how long. Since first grade from what he remembers. He didn't want to continue holding on to the bad memories because they never did and never will outweigh the good ones.
"I forgive you." Rick says taking his hand firmly, shaking it. Shane smiles with tears of joy.
"You don't know how long I've held onto all this and have been stressing over it. Thank you man." Shane says giving his hand one last squeeze. Rick nods.
"Anything else?" Lori asks appearing to be joyed over the situation.
"Can I... come visit my brother sometimes? I've always wanted a brother." Carl says scratching his head.
"I think we can work something out." Lori says with an amused smile.
A/N: Okay that's it for this chapter! Please review. Constructive criticism is allowed. I'm actually begging for it because I don't know how to feel about this chapter. I've been working on it forever but it felt off to me... Idk. Let me know what you all think. Again, major apologies for the long wait. No excuses. I haven't been busy. Just major writers block:P Haha. Please review loves:)!
P.S. Working on the new chapter as we speak! Rick/Beth fluffy moments are on the way!
